Brow Beat

How Are You Celebrating the Birthday of “Final Countdown” Singer Joey Tempest?

The reason for the season.

YouTube/Europe

Aug. 19 has come ‘round again, and all over the world, people of different cultures, faiths, and musical tastes are celebrating the birthday of Joey Tempest, the lead singer from the Swedish megaband Europe and the megavoice behind megahit “The Final Countdown.” But this year, Joey Tempest’s birthday feels a little different. People are angry, people are scared, people don’t trust each other. That’s why it’s more important than ever that we all come together to salute the man whose powerful song about flying into outer space (but maybe coming back to Earth one day) speaks to our common humanity.

But how are you celebrating Joey Tempest’s birthday this year? Are you a Joey Tempest’s birthday traditionalist, eager to spend the day watching the music video for “The Final Countdown” over and over again, all the while wishing you’d been lucky enough to be in the audience at the 1986 concerts in Solna, Sweden, where it was filmed?

Maybe Joey Tempest’s birthday finds you in a contemplative mood this year, particularly in terms of the current political situation? If so the best way to celebrate this special day might be by watching an older, wiser Joey Tempest appear in a Geico ad. After all, aren’t we experiencing our own “Final Countdowns” every day, even on days when we don’t blast off into space?

Younger people can sometimes find Joey Tempest’s birthday rituals a little stifling. If that’s you, then it’s important to create your own traditions to keep “The Final Countdown” in your heart all year long. This avant-garde celebration from Arrested Development is a heartwarming mix of old and new ways to mark another year in the life of Joey Tempest, and it’s sure to give you ideas for next year:

In the former Soviet Union, Joey Tempest’s birthday is usually celebrated with a ceremonial viewing of Elena Valova and Oleg Vasiliev’s figure skating routine, which won a silver medal at the 1988 Winter Olympics:

But if you live in a capitalist country, where Joey Tempest’s birthday has gotten commercialized, you might just be looking for a way to ruin your next-door neighbor’s big, tacky, expensive Joey Tempest’s birthday party. Consider blasting Deep Sunshine’s legendarily terrible cover of Tempest’s signature song out your windows!

But no matter how you celebrate, the birthday of the man who sang “The Final Countdown” is one of the few cultural references that we all still have in common. So wish your friends, family, and neighbors a happy Joey Tempest’s birthday—while it’s still “politically correct,” that is—and remember to stand tall. Especially if you’re heading for Venus.