Search Triad - AZ ~ Pg 318-381 - triadoption
Search Triad - AZ ~ Pg 318-381 - triadoption
Search Triad - AZ ~ Pg 318-381 - triadoption
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TRIAD k~d. . . . .: . .<br />
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. . . Box A432 . . . . . .<br />
Litchfield Park,, Arizona 85340 . , . .<br />
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602-935-9702'<br />
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. . Vol. VII Vo,. . 7. January/February 1983<br />
. . . .<br />
Karen Tinlcham<br />
Executive Director<br />
Lorraine liazmier<br />
President<br />
Policy:<br />
<strong>Search</strong> <strong>Triad</strong> Inc. is an independent, non profit<br />
organization offering a free service of idea exchange,<br />
volunteer support and educational guidelines in the<br />
adopiion triangle. We are a member of thd American<br />
Adoption congress, a coalition of individi~als and groups<br />
nationwide who support more openess in adoption.<br />
We offer an open meeting to adults in search, although<br />
we do not advocate birthparents searching for minors or<br />
minors searching for birthparents. Corlnseling is<br />
available.<br />
"To forget one's ancestors is to be a brook<br />
without a source,a tree without root."<br />
-Chinese Proverb<br />
-<br />
NEXT MEETING<br />
February 10th at 7 :30pm<br />
A11 Saints' Episcopal Church<br />
Manning Hall<br />
6300 North Central Avenue<br />
Phoenix<br />
Executive Board meets at 6 :30pm.<br />
General meeting with a sharing of<br />
reunions. <strong>Search</strong> assistance will<br />
be available as well as a pre-reunion<br />
vforkshop and the post-reunion rap<br />
group. Don't forget to bring your<br />
search information.<br />
FUTURE MEETINGS<br />
March 10th<br />
April 7th<br />
May 12th<br />
June 9th<br />
Teen Rap ~roup/Adop tive<br />
Parent Rap Group meets<br />
the 3rd Thursday of every<br />
month. If you are interested<br />
in attending one of these<br />
groups, contact either<br />
Lynne Hellmers at 997-2557<br />
or L.orraine icazmier at<br />
838-3270.<br />
A new workshop will be offered at future meetings of <strong>Search</strong> <strong>Triad</strong>.<br />
Dee Davis and Gladys 1.larrison are sharing the responsibility of<br />
this workshop for those members who feel their reunions are<br />
incomplete or t~nresolved. This is meant to bc,a support group<br />
and hopefully will be a vehicle for healing wounds. Questions?<br />
Give Gladys a call at 838-7228.<br />
Life can only be understood backward; it must be lived forward,<br />
9Yren Mierkgaard<br />
"tle all come from the past, and children oilght to know what it<br />
was,that went into their making, to know that life is a braided<br />
cord of humanity stretching up from time long gone, and that it:<br />
cannot be<br />
.<br />
defined by the span of a single journey from diaper<br />
to shroi~d "<br />
Growing LIJ by Russell Baker<br />
Reviewed in the tlall Street Journal - A1ovember 1982
On January 3rd, Emma Vilardi called to nokify us that Susan<br />
.Rodgers had been matched in the ISRR with her birthmother who<br />
had entered the Soundex thru WAR14 in Washington. Vle enjoyed<br />
having Susan share her story at our January meeting. Siisan's<br />
story will be told on n'BC1s FANTASY which will air on Feb 22nd.<br />
We are very happy that Emma's reunion registry will be given<br />
a most deserved national plug!!<br />
Jim 1,lcDonald journeyed to California over the holidays with his<br />
wife and two daughters and had a chance to meet his aunt, four<br />
cousins and a half brother and half sister. We look forward to<br />
Jim sharing details and pictures at the February meeting.<br />
Pat Bevalaqlla spoke to her birthfather on December 6th. They<br />
now speak on a Weekly baeis and she has learned she has two<br />
brothers and two sisters. A reunion will take place i'n 1.larch<br />
.. in the 14idwest.<br />
Ruth Parker found her birthmother in Florida in 1974. She has<br />
always known she had a younger sister but never contacted her.<br />
Ruth finally felt the time was right and wrote her sister a<br />
letter explaining everything. 1-lonths passed by with no response,<br />
but finally a very warm letter arrived and a relationship is now<br />
developing between these two women.<br />
. ' .<br />
Joan Lee joined us last fall and very quickly located her entire<br />
birth family in Washington. Joan then contacted the show FAA1'l'ASY<br />
and they reunited her *'on airw with both of her birthparents.<br />
Joan's adoptive mom, who lives in the Denver area, was also an<br />
important part of the show that had us all running for the lclcenix<br />
tissiles. Joan also has contact with siblings and will meet tl~em<br />
this slimmer when Fantasy is flying Joan and her family to Seattle<br />
for a reunion. (Editor's apology 2 to both Joan and ICatliy<br />
Chrisman for neglecting to report on your reunions in the Dec news).<br />
Kathy Chrisman has spolc@n with her birthmother - finally -nftcr<br />
several careful conversations with her brother, who knew who<br />
Kathy was but didn't let on. Kathy found her mother so emotional<br />
during the first call that they couldn't talk, The second call.<br />
was very cold, then her mother called her again at a later date<br />
to try and explain things. A solid relationship is being built'<br />
wit11 her brother and time will hopefully help resolve the rest.<br />
Lois McCutcheon travelled from Clinton, Iowa to northern Arkansas<br />
the weekend before her 49th birthday to meet her birthmother<br />
Helen. They had a fantastic reunion! It was interesting that<br />
bothwomen have had careers in bookeeping and have decorated<br />
their homes in early American.<br />
Dave fdueller completed his search several years ago but just<br />
recently made it to St. Louis to meet his two aunts and<br />
many cousins. ~ave' found his mother deceased but has been<br />
warmly received into his birth family:<br />
Terry Ldppens was one of six full siblings split up by adoption<br />
many years ago in the state of Michigan. She has been working<br />
with a state social worker who has done all the searching and<br />
made all the contacts...and has done an outstanding job! Terry<br />
has had contact with three brothers and one sister within one<br />
short month. When Terry spolce with her oldest brother, he told<br />
her that he remembered kissing her goodbye. She was one year old<br />
at that tirne, A retinion will take place this coming summer in<br />
Michigan...after Terry has her baby!<br />
Another Dave, who heard the I
Who are these great looking<br />
people who decided to share<br />
their smiles with you this<br />
month? Six are search<br />
assistants and the others are<br />
training to be S.A,'s. Each<br />
of them volunteers their time<br />
to give you assistance both<br />
at monthly meetings and on<br />
the phone. Get to know them,<br />
each has something special to<br />
offer!<br />
JoAnne Lee is a step-parent<br />
adoptee horn in southern<br />
California. She found her<br />
father deceased but will<br />
. . meet an aunt this summer<br />
when she<br />
.<br />
travels to<br />
blichigan JoAnne also<br />
serves' as secretary, as<br />
well as work in^ full time.<br />
with a parenting teen<br />
program in Phoenix.<br />
Karen Tinlcham was born<br />
in Chicago and found 6<br />
years ago. She serves<br />
as our Executive Dir.,<br />
writer the newsletter<br />
and trains the S.A.'s.<br />
She Ras been part of<br />
<strong>Search</strong> since the first<br />
meeting in 1976.<br />
JoAnne Lee, Karen Tinkham, Jan Deahl,<br />
Maury Trager and Barb Wodrich<br />
Jan Deahl is a Phoenix<br />
born adoptee who found<br />
her mother deceased.<br />
Jan served on our<br />
-<br />
Board last year and is Leslie Carter, Mike Berdine, Ann Llehrtens,<br />
now Librarian.<br />
Jim 1.1cDonald and L.orraine I
. . . . .<br />
.. : ...<br />
. .<br />
. '<br />
Vle are sceing many new 'faces at our monthly meetin~s. 1t is nc,k<br />
unilsrlal for a new searcher to attend a meeting and be overVthr?ll~!cd . .<br />
by the actual search process. Many of yo11 find you need to p~t.<br />
your search aside for a period of time. You must pace yorlrself',<br />
but please don't forget that we offer both moral support and sr!arch . . , .<br />
expertise. We woQId encourage yo11 to attend a meeting and sit in<br />
with the pre-reunion workshop and skip search assistance that r:lonth.<br />
We also encourage the membership to keep in torlch with your search<br />
assistant. t~lany of you rely on meetina time only to get help.<br />
.<br />
Vle vmht you to touch base with, us between meetings for indit.idrla1<br />
help, Time is so limited at our meetings, but if you call us at<br />
home, 'hopefully vIe can give you a few uninterruped minutes.<br />
. . Just remember that's why we are here..,to help you! . .<br />
. .<br />
. . . .. .<br />
The Phoenix Gazette mentioned us in their ASK US column on<br />
December 9th and we have had a response from that.<br />
The Preston Westmoreland Show - KTAR Radios- had Lorraine Kazmier<br />
and Karen Tinltham on as guests on December 27th. I.lany interesting<br />
calls .came in during that 1% hour, time slot, :including a call<br />
from Bob and Helen Ridgeway, birthparents, who had just flown back<br />
to Phoenix from Greenville, !Michigan where their son Jim lives.<br />
Ironically, our group's founder, Ginger Gibson Rogers, lives in<br />
Greenville also and went to school with Jim! Small world.<br />
\Ve thank Joan L.ee for her nice mention. of <strong>Search</strong> <strong>Triad</strong> when she<br />
appeared on NBC1s FANTASY on JBnuary 5th!<br />
PBS in Phoenix (KAET) aired a special on January 19th called<br />
Adoption: The Chosen Child. The guests were Lon Taubin, deputy<br />
district attorney, Shirley Pusey of Family Services Agency and<br />
Karen Tinkham. The show aired twice and even tho Karen was<br />
literally given only five minutes of the hour long show, people<br />
were watching. The response has been very exciting!<br />
Panels this month:<br />
January 10th - Audrey Kreft & 1~1arge viCastro (DEs)<br />
January 15th - Joanie L.ee & Dorothy Foster (DGS)<br />
January 18th - Barb Wodrich - breakfast speaker for the<br />
Northwest Phoenix Civitan Club<br />
January 20th - Naury Trager & Lynne Hellmers (1-1.D.<br />
's at<br />
County Hospital )<br />
January 22nd - J i m i-lcDonald & Icathie Veal (DES)<br />
January 26th - Audrey Kreft & Kathy Roheim (Jevtish Farnily Svcs)<br />
January 27th - Terry Lippens, Lorraine Kazmier & Dorotlly Foster<br />
(DES)<br />
December<br />
- ICrista and !,lilt Johnson (DEs)<br />
Thanks to those members who gatre their time to share tlleir<br />
adoption experiences.. Educating the public is so important!<br />
L,IBRARY NEWS<br />
Overdue books - Kathy Kosatlta (~ec), i~laury Trager (~ct),<br />
1.lary Jo Stewart h o t , .<br />
and Lucinda 1.larnpton (lblov)<br />
The Emma Vilardi/ISRIl casette tape is also still<br />
missing. Please malte sure these items are<br />
returned at our Febrrlary meeting,<br />
blew boolcs - Once Removed - Voices from Inside The Adoption Triangle<br />
by Wendie & Sherry Sleightholm (donated by the Canadian<br />
Death By Adoption by Joss Shawyer (donated by I{.<br />
inkh ham)<br />
What Kind of Love Is This?<br />
by Sandy Musser<br />
Dialogue for llnderstanding - PACER (donateti by Dirck ~rown)<br />
We hatwe several copies and we hope they circulate!<br />
IJe\v nrticlc - "Why Did My Birthmother Reject Me?I1 by Carole Anderson<br />
of CUB. if you want your own copy they are available<br />
from CUD Headquarters.
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'we still have copies of . .<br />
are being sold for $9.75<br />
discount we rec'v to<br />
an extra $1 for postage and'handling.<br />
L-orraine Kazmier has written an excellbnt 30 page booklet<br />
llOpen Letter to Adoptive Parents." If you'd like a copy,<br />
or if other groups in the movement wou d like to order one<br />
or more for their libraries, send L,orr Ii ine $3 to covor printing!.<br />
cost and postage.<br />
address is 1408 East Commodore Place,<br />
Tempe, Az 85283.<br />
Thanks to those who made donations to<br />
1<br />
earch <strong>Triad</strong> in December -<br />
Grace Daras, Bill Friedman, Karen Tink am, Virginia Balcer and<br />
L.orraine Kazmier. Thanks to Helen ~~eebh for the Open Minds - Open<br />
Records pins. A VERY VERY BIG THANK Y ~ U TO BARB VIODRICH \I140 WAS<br />
KIVD GhlOUGH TO L,OAhT US HER TYPEWRITER 40 TYPE THIS NEWSLETTER!!!<br />
--<br />
.:<br />
Last meeting JoAnne L.ee shared with us the story of a parenting<br />
teen who is living in a state approved foster home with her four<br />
month old son. Some needs were mentio ed and two of our members<br />
were able to donate two dressers<br />
and a baby bed. There are other<br />
things that are needed' -..clothing<br />
for the baby and clothing for the<br />
teen who wears a size 5 or 7. If<br />
yo11 feel you have something you'd<br />
like Iio donate, please contact<br />
JoAnne at 247-2498 (evenings only)<br />
or bring your donation to the<br />
meeting. Items like baby shampoo,<br />
lotion, etc would be helpful too,<br />
~GGA!!<br />
Thanks to Diane Pattison who gave<br />
i~s a copy of the MacNeil-L.ehrer<br />
Report special On Being Adopted.<br />
It's interesting reading and will<br />
be in our library. The show<br />
aired on PBS Thanksgiving night<br />
and many of us missed it.<br />
If yo11 have been a member of the<br />
American Adoption Congress in thk<br />
past and are wondering why you<br />
aren't receiving any AAC news, it<br />
might be because your membership<br />
has expired. The membership year<br />
runs from July 1 to July 1. Check<br />
the last of the newsletter for the<br />
AAC form.<br />
Mark your calendar now for two<br />
programs coming up on TV:<br />
Si~san Rodgers on Fantasy - hrBC<br />
February 22nd 2 to 3pm<br />
Teenage Father airs on<br />
PBS on Sunday, Feb 13th<br />
from 5 :30pm to 6pm.<br />
A dramatic illi~stration 04<br />
the fact that unplanned<br />
parenthood is as<br />
disrr~ptive to young men<br />
as it is to the young<br />
unmarried mother.<br />
.<br />
L- ..",<br />
-.-.<br />
lal ,olse~o,r borh ctety much, bttr 1'1r got to/lnd my reol~orellrs."<br />
*<br />
Don't forgbt to respond<br />
to the shows you see and<br />
haar. The KAET show on<br />
adoption was done because<br />
of the response they<br />
rec'v on their original<br />
mini-series months ago.<br />
Guess WXO$"ndl~ Gr;&olY:u!
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. . . . Ilighlights of the Executive Board 1;leetin~s for both December .'<br />
. . . . . .<br />
:<br />
.. .<br />
. . ,. . . .. .. and January include the following:<br />
..<br />
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. . . . . .<br />
The International Soundex Reunion Registry fourth annllal report<br />
I<br />
was discussed and it was decided that we vtoilld send Emma<br />
Vilardi a $50 donation.<br />
Linda Cannon Burgess of the M C wrote requesting that we send<br />
a list of our membership to Sophie Elvert for a fund raising<br />
campaign. The Board decided that we do not have the membership's<br />
pe~nission to release their names to outside sources, so instead . ,<br />
we will agree to reprint in our newsletter, any letters from . ,<br />
this campaign effort.<br />
The board approved the following resolution:<br />
'lrfembership may be refused or revoked. as voted won .,. .<br />
by the Board of Directors to any individual for behavior<br />
or conduct that is illegal, unethical, or unreasonsible<br />
'that vfould reflect negatively upon the good name of<br />
<strong>Search</strong> <strong>Triad</strong> Inc ,,I'<br />
The rfeneral membership must now vote on this, resolution at a<br />
monthly meeting before we can add this to our constitution'<br />
Snd amendments.<br />
*+*+*<br />
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from the CUB COl~It~lUNICATOR News Clips -<br />
A Tribune Syndicate health article by Dr. Timothy Johnson recently<br />
answered a question about the likelihood of adoptees having<br />
emotional difficulties, In his response he said that 10 to 15?5<br />
of the children seen by child psychiatrists are adoptees,<br />
compared to 1 to 2?6 of all children being adoptees. lie says<br />
that many health professionals "now suggest that adopted children<br />
might benefit from knowing more about their birthparents."<br />
Recent articles worth reading -<br />
Woman December 82 article by Jayne Askin & Dob Oslcam<br />
For Adoptees, Finding Your hfatural !.lother Is Ldke Finding<br />
That hiissing Piece Of Yourself<br />
Vfoman December 82 1.10~ Much Of Your Personality Is<br />
Inherited? by 1;laya Pines<br />
hfcwsweeR December 6, 1982 Brave New Babies by Lorraine<br />
Dusky<br />
ASRA in Ohio is still asking that adoptees participate in<br />
Dr. Thomas Vern I s survey. We did print this a few montks<br />
ago, and space 'B oesntt allow for another printing, but we<br />
will, make a few copies of this available at our next meeting,<br />
or send irs a self-addressed stamped envelope - LZGAL SIZE -<br />
and we'll mail- you a copy.<br />
Just had an exciting call from member Gale Thornton.,.and<br />
although this is not the reunion page good news must be<br />
shared! Gale found her birthmother last fall while on<br />
vacation in New Hampshire. Phone contact vras made but<br />
no conclilsions were drawn. A sensitive letter and photo vlerc<br />
sent at Christmas time. Avo response. Today, February 2nd,<br />
Gale's half sister Peggy called Prom New Hampshire. She<br />
explained that her mother's husband had died just bnforc the<br />
letter arrived. Then the birthmother vfas hospitalized for<br />
kidney failure. Thoughts of death loomed over her head and<br />
she shared the news of Gale's existence with Peggy. Peggy<br />
has been composing a long letter but felt so frustrated that<br />
she called Gale instead...and they talked for an hottr. A<br />
reunion will happen this June when Gale attends her high<br />
school class reunion in New Hampshire, Gale's mother.i.S<br />
still-ill but hapefully will be up to contact soon!<br />
For those of you considering advertising during your search,<br />
vle would highly recommend you investigate the quarterly<br />
publicakion OPEN A.R.M.S. ~5iJtj'lfshed by adoptee Bob OIDell.<br />
Ve will have a copy of the Quarterly at the February meeting.<br />
Highlights of the AAC Regional A1ev!sletter will be featured<br />
in the Llarch issue of! our news.<br />
COMEIEhlT FROM KAREN<br />
The December issue of the newsletter was shorter than intended<br />
because the return key on my olivetti decided to tlfreezett<br />
before I had finished. Heedless to say I had no chance to<br />
thank all of you who help make our group so special! I know<br />
if I start naming people, I will forget someone, so just<br />
consider yourself thanked! Our group would not be here without<br />
yoir, We continue to grow, currently our membership totals<br />
171 people. Our services continire to expand and vre are thrilled<br />
at the large number of birthmothers that have become slrch an<br />
important part of us. Understanding continues to grow...donlt<br />
ever stop listening. We always welcome your suggestions<br />
and would hope that <strong>Search</strong> <strong>Triad</strong> will continue to fill your<br />
needs. Each of you has something special to offer, don't<br />
sit home on meeting., night', we miss seeing you!<br />
Truth exists; only Calsehood has.t;o.be invented.<br />
- Georges Braque.
' .<br />
TO MY MOTHER<br />
Long ago,<br />
Lost in the mists<br />
Of time<br />
We were one.<br />
Together,<br />
Me within you,<br />
Nine months<br />
I was carried.. .<br />
But<br />
To be separated<br />
At birth-<br />
Forever.<br />
The years<br />
Passed.<br />
My thoughts<br />
Of ,you<br />
Nter diminished<br />
Just grew<br />
Stronger.<br />
Strangers loved<br />
Me, and<br />
Cared for me.<br />
Lavished me<br />
With everything<br />
A child<br />
Could want...<br />
And, then some.<br />
But, lo<br />
My thoughts.. .<br />
As I grew in<br />
Stature and<br />
Consciousness.. .<br />
Were of you.<br />
What were you<br />
Like?<br />
Where were<br />
You now?<br />
Did you ever<br />
Think of me...<br />
Your lost<br />
Firstborn?<br />
bly fantasies<br />
Flourished in<br />
Reckless abandon.<br />
Was that her over<br />
My mother?<br />
Does she<br />
Look 1 ike me?<br />
And I like her?<br />
Does she have<br />
Other children<br />
To comfort,<br />
Caress<br />
And love?<br />
My brothers and<br />
Sisters?<br />
Does she think<br />
Of me.. .then?<br />
Oh,<br />
Where is she...<br />
My mother?<br />
Until that<br />
Day.. .<br />
My world<br />
Was as happy<br />
And better<br />
Than most, but<br />
I heard her<br />
Voice.. .<br />
When I called.<br />
She, in<br />
Control 1 ed tones,<br />
Emoti on1 ess-f rozen<br />
To the phone.<br />
My own voice,<br />
Calm,<br />
Control led,<br />
Shakey,. . .so phoney<br />
And business-1 i ke.<br />
My manner, hardly<br />
A comfort<br />
After all of<br />
This time.<br />
What happened?<br />
Did I<br />
Scare her, or<br />
Frighten her,<br />
Shock her,<br />
Or bring<br />
Back the pain<br />
And numbness,<br />
Fear and anguish ...<br />
When she<br />
Gave me up to<br />
Others?<br />
Oh, my mother<br />
Let me see<br />
You,<br />
Hold you.. .<br />
Tell you<br />
It's all right1<br />
Now and<br />
Forever.<br />
Please call me<br />
Even if it's<br />
Just to talk<br />
Never to<br />
See<br />
Or, touch<br />
Tell me you<br />
Remember<br />
Me-pl ease l<br />
Mike Berdine<br />
Y uma , Ari zona<br />
November 19, 1981<br />
there-<br />
. -<br />
- -<br />
Written 4 hrs<br />
after Mike's<br />
first call to<br />
his birthmother.<br />
He has since<br />
met his nothe<br />
and been<br />
reunited<br />
with<br />
siblings.<br />
. ,<br />
medical inlorm*lia "Whm<br />
the youngster wnnls to know<br />
*Where did 1 came Irom?'m<br />
Why nntldn't my original<br />
parents keep me?.' the new<br />
~e~~crmttnn nl adoptive par.<br />
ents will hmvt adcqualr an.<br />
swen to these questinn*.'<br />
In*, Jim Griller.<br />
Thr cornm~lmrnla mmn.<br />
sntn an open adnptson is<br />
n%ore or lrls rn ~enllenun's<br />
mcrrcmcnt. "I hmvr lound<br />
that mdontive o.,entt who ,<br />
attend our workshops .re :'<br />
willing lo write teponn at , .<br />
Chri~tmas or Eanter. but<br />
they do not want more Ire.<br />
quent mnlnct." uys Marielperiodic.lly.<br />
but in some ta Spnccr nf thr Children's<br />
u u s there are hcluml meet. Hnme S ~~irty of M ~nnr~a.<br />
I<br />
Ings. Although a few contin. "I hmve grcn mdoptire parue<br />
to see one another, mmt eats drop oul when pressure<br />
meet only once.<br />
is put on them to write mare<br />
Opcn adoption is conrta. rrgulsrly."<br />
verniml. ....... Oooonrnls ~. . nrcue - It is mssiblr lor either or 1<br />
that it threatens the privacy the pnnir~ to end the ur-<br />
Evrry Christn~as Liu mnd bath of the mother who hms rancement. "Artef 11. .<br />
Itelm ercl~nnp gcctings, telinquishcd her baby nndol ,<br />
)Ieletim note ia lull 01 lmmily. the adoptive p.renls, who month^. I b d in ask Uut<br />
'<br />
new. and she always en mny lemr that she will want lherr bc no more contna<br />
closes pho~ogrmphs of her to tmke .way the child. with the pople u hu are now<br />
sun, Jrd. Others. however. are the parentsormydaughler."<br />
Lisnaudirsll~e~nm~nt~ots, mlrong supporters. "The i uys one l0.ye.r-old. 'The<br />
'<br />
tryine to see in Ule link boy mare exprirnce ye havt Imrn were tm pdnlul.' +<br />
urmc rrsemblance to her vlth open placement. the She has promised to continown<br />
two girls. Jcd is the wn more enlhusi~slic our BUR uc passine on medical inlor<br />
she had out ol wedlock: It..' uys Jim Orincr, child. nulion abwt her~ll.<br />
whrnhewastvomonth~old. welfare su~wiwr at Come But lor olhrr p~rents em<br />
he become Helen's wn munlty. Family mnd Chil. changing lrttenran icmd to<br />
thro~~ch .dopllon. For the drcn hrvicu 01 Travene delire. tn meet in prson.<br />
past srwen ycnn. Lisa mnd City. Michicmn. The mtency Cmtholic WI~I Srrvkcs of<br />
Helm (wltose names have fim offered g n adoptions the Diocese of Orwn Day.<br />
bun channcdl hmve bun three yean ago: 60 prcent Witconsin. has km arranp<br />
practicing open adoption. 01 adoption panicipanls now tng i.cc.tnlace mrctingt<br />
Under an open ndoption chme this option. (with social worker<br />
(which should not k con- "It was pretty clear to US present1 stnce 1975. The<br />
lused 4th the opening 01 1h.t the traditional syltrm .cency has made more 1h.n<br />
records lon~<br />
dler an md~p- hurl the bifth parent*." uys 320 qun pl.crments nincr<br />
tion Ukes plncel. the biologi. Mr. Oritter. "They felt ms U 1973.<br />
cal and adoptive pnrenls hey wcrC abandoning their Hclcn and her tusbnnd<br />
1 '<br />
1 continue to communicate child. Open placement has adopled Jrd lhrouph Cnlh*<br />
wslh onc nnothrr while lhc provided an OppoltIIniW rot lic Soc1.I Se~iCrl and chme<br />
childI.~rowin~up.Asinany them to excrci*e their re. lo met Jcd's mother. 'Liu<br />
adoption. the birth mother spon~ibility and be mssurrd cmmr to our home." uys<br />
givesupaIIle~ol richtstothe (hat good people are urine ticlrn. "We wanted her to<br />
child. Omerally. the inlor. lor the child." src Jed in his mctu.l sur.<br />
malbn I. hnndlcd through What .bout it1 cflecl on roundings. Ltrr, we had a<br />
Ihr mdaption atcncy u, th.1 adoj~tiv@ parents? "All pr. lrttcr lrorn her. 'You don't<br />
nnmrl and oddrc~sn on re. ents we have dcoll with My know what you have done<br />
mntn ronlidrnlial. Many that meelinp the hirth par. lor me.'sltcwrotc.'lcannov<br />
Il.nlcltl.ntn choose in er. mtshas allayed thelrlcarsol put the pnst behind me and .<br />
rh.n1* lrtlrn mnd pioures intru~ion." uys Knlhlccn go on!" -cutnr nr~nm<br />
Patrlcla Hope's little glrl, yet unborn, Is<br />
the vlctlm of all thls unnecessary turmoll.<br />
Thlrty-el~ht years ago thls month<br />
I became the vlctlm of the moralists of<br />
that era. My mother, also a hlgh school<br />
teacher In a Long Island town, was<br />
Jan 17,83 PEOPLE<br />
carried a story on<br />
Pat Hope, 41 yr old<br />
pregnant teacher in<br />
NY. PE0PL.E also forced to place me for adoptlon beran<br />
a survey as part<br />
of that article -<br />
asking :for opinions.<br />
The results were<br />
published in the<br />
Feb 7 issue, See<br />
below/with letters.<br />
READERS SPEAK OUT<br />
' PEOPLE asked those who rend tho<br />
Patricia Ilopc etorp to tell us hou~<br />
they would feel if a teacher in thcir<br />
school~y~tem ruere involved in the<br />
name rituation. The response:<br />
A hlgh school teacher who becomes<br />
pregnant wlof wedlock should be:<br />
Dismissed . .. 21 %<br />
Reasslgnod ................................................ 7<br />
No action should be taken .............-.72<br />
A grade school toacher who becomes<br />
pregnant out of wedlock should be:<br />
.<br />
Dismissed .<br />
Reassigned .......................................... 9<br />
No action shwld be taken ..,........... 69<br />
I<br />
A teacher who fathers a child out of wed-<br />
..................... .<br />
...............................................<br />
..............<br />
lock should bo:<br />
Dismissed . 21%<br />
Reassignod 6<br />
No aclion should be lakon . 73<br />
cause keeping me would have meant<br />
rulnation for us both. Now we both<br />
must llve wlth the dally pain of never<br />
flndlng each other.<br />
Wendy Morrow<br />
Scottsdale, Arlz<br />
Some of us parents are still teaching<br />
soclal values at home. It's a llttle more<br />
dllflcult than It once was, but for our<br />
chlldren's sake we belleve the effort Is<br />
justifled. The maln problem is finding<br />
posltlve relnlorcement In mainstream<br />
Amerlca. God knows, we're not exactly<br />
belng overrun by role models. How do<br />
you tell your daughler that havlng babies<br />
out of wedlock Is, among other<br />
things, Immoral and then pack her off<br />
for a day wlth Patrlcla Hope?<br />
Randy Collins<br />
Chesterfield, Va.<br />
What Is the problem? The mother-tobe<br />
Is educated, the baby Is wanted,<br />
and lorn nlce change neither one wlll<br />
be on welfare. The baby glrl wlll be<br />
raised and educated In lovely East<br />
Hampton. She wlll grow Into a graceful<br />
young woman and marry Prlnce WII-<br />
1 llam of England. Everyone In East<br />
Hampton wlll want an lnvltatlon. I hope<br />
they know how to curtsy. .<br />
Dorothy M. Johnson<br />
Ormond Beach, Fla.<br />
i<br />
-<br />
C
w r<br />
..<br />
u.n~<br />
NQW~<br />
n I Q8a<br />
-... - .-<br />
Rreast Cnnccr Risk '<br />
Recent studics, Dr. Kclly pointed out,<br />
.C~i,edPtrMInlcmn,ionll<br />
make it possihlc to give womcn more<br />
prceent to Be child thnt he or nhe was wanted, nnd<br />
accuntc and nssua6c<br />
..NEW YORK - Pn chotherapiat Joanne Small that'a good. The idea of being s ilically chosen<br />
Ihcir pye parent8 err in te ?' ling adoptive children they place^ an unjunt burden on the chi d."<br />
fears. One study performed by Dr. D. E. wbrh 8mifically<br />
P"<br />
Gay Man Wins Right<br />
To Adopt Foster Son<br />
4.<br />
Experts . offer advice to adoptive parents<br />
Anderson of flouston. Tcxas, found that .' -- ,. Peychoanalyet Herbert Weidcr carries the theme<br />
-+'lt.doean't take too long fur youngstem to figure one step further.<br />
a risk dcpcnded On lhe<br />
age of hcr relatives at dingnosis (prc- or<br />
;& that in order to have been chosen they first had "Jf an one wan chosen, it i~ the parent, who was<br />
to be given up," Small says in an article in the uelecled i<br />
post-mennpnusnl) and wliclhcr the dl$-. ~ ~ 5 ~ " ~ ~ ~<br />
y the agency," he told the mngnzine.<br />
iRa,,e parents mogarine.<br />
cnsc occumd in one orbnth breasts. A<br />
Weider, a founder of the Adoption Study Center<br />
woman might havc as much as a 50 pcr- "What should be communicated is that the at Brookdale Hospitnl Medical Center in New York,<br />
ccnt chancc of dcvcloping brrnst canccr<br />
pateals chow to have a child and that they choee to added that a child younger than 3 or 4 cannot<br />
@$t?<br />
if mother nntl mnrcrnnl aunt both<br />
the psychotherapist adds. "In thie way they mierstand the mnceptofadoption.<br />
prrmcnopnusal, hilntcnl breast cancer.<br />
On the othcr hnnd, a woman whose<br />
n~othcrand mntcrnal aunt had pnst-<br />
mcnopnus:~l, unilatcnl brcnst canccr had<br />
no grcatcr n chance 01 dcvcloping the<br />
discasc thnn did the avcngc womanabut<br />
ninc pcrccnt.<br />
Q)<br />
$<br />
F Q<br />
0<br />
Pariah Mothers<br />
A mother who relinquishes<br />
custody of her children in<br />
usually suspected of having<br />
a moral defect. in<br />
Absentee Mothem (Universe<br />
Books), Patricia<br />
Pmkowicz counters the<br />
perception of noncu.stodia1<br />
mothers as eelf.centered,<br />
ptomiscuoue,<br />
or co,d-heafi-<br />
!fllver;ide<br />
the home wfth his mother.<br />
A Judge granted a Syear-<br />
It wasn't until after the Rlverold<br />
homoeexual permls~lon<br />
aide Department of Publk Soclnl<br />
-yesterday to teen- Service placed the youth with Fnage<br />
foster son.<br />
ter lhat It learned through an anony)h;<br />
-, I'm hmppy," ~avld ymoua Up that Mter WM gay.<br />
Prater seM during r telephone lo- The social uervtces department<br />
tervkw followtng the b m g mat d~ not recommend the adoption.<br />
gave him rdo~tlon rlgh'" to K m mu mmber P. Glgrla N\M,<br />
Rawre 17. IThb the grertert mt&" lawyer, &d the depart.<br />
Chrbtmas present ever."<br />
ment was "afnM of setting the<br />
Tbe dechloo was handed down precedent of allowing an .openly<br />
during a closed hearing by Superlor homosexual Person to adopt a<br />
6urt Judge George Grover, clerk ' cwd."<br />
e u r a Corona sald.<br />
. .. At.age 3, Kwtn saM, he wae<br />
: Kevin FraLer, a high school se- taken away from hb mother, who<br />
qlor who wants to become sports had drlnking and other pmblemr.;<br />
''ehter, sald he wna "cry happy that ~ n spent d Ule next dam Yam in<br />
the Judge dedded In our favor. It's 15 different fwer homes until the<br />
great."<br />
mnty placed hlm with Frater.<br />
'<br />
The home "Is the place I've None of the. prevlous homa<br />
ma loddng for:' the youtb srM. had worked out "because they were<br />
I<br />
He hu been with Prater, lor two en't the rlght parents [of me," Kev-<br />
: years - and adopted hb foster fat& . In sald.<br />
; er's M 6 Frrter also share 3;. .<br />
/A483<br />
Woman held in boy's stabbing<br />
0<br />
ed by telling the stories of mains constant: withdrawal Gutids to the cheat.<br />
100 women who live apart of friends and relatives, ha- . Thiea said ~cCleka<br />
rassment on the job, and I child'sicreams between 6:30 a.m. and interviewed by Po f lcn.<br />
even denial of employment.<br />
Mother should fight<br />
urge to break promise<br />
from their children. In<br />
n aome cases the mothers d e<br />
4.<br />
1<br />
A phoenix WOman wafJ.jailed today 7 a.m. today and rushed into the boy'?:<br />
for in~estigation of atbmpted murder bedroom "where he saw the mother<br />
after allegedly etabbing her 8- ear-old holding the knife and the<br />
cided to reli~iquish custody ado ted son as he lay in be l , police<br />
on their own, urually for eai cf.<br />
"(McClees) ot the knife away front<br />
emotional or finnncial rea-<br />
SgL Brad Thies d<br />
the'mother an ! picked up hia eon and<br />
sons, but in just a8 many McClees, 54, of 2052 E. Charle~hn,<br />
drove him down b Lincoln Hoepi~l,"<br />
other cases, the book wee into at her hi* said. The child wa8 to<br />
shows that the decision about 7 a.m. after her husband, Jasper<br />
be lraneferred to Good Samaritan<br />
was made for them-by ' McClees, ruahed the in ured child to<br />
later today,<br />
former husbands, the<br />
d<br />
.,, *, .<br />
: the bpepital and notifie authorities. The boy had lived with the hlccou&,<br />
or the children i said thi,child, Jimmy Wror- Cl~ses since birth, and was legally<br />
themselves. Regardless of<br />
the reasons, the social stig- ! c&aitidr\ atil6hd.C. Lincold Ho~~il~l B No motive for the stabbing had<br />
ma faced by the women re- ' atla:H<li'Centq. The child suffered been determined.<br />
) ah&, wan . hl',.bxtremely serious ado ted b' the couple in 1978, Thi~s<br />
Mre. McClees wan booked intu<br />
woke up to the Maricopa Count Jail after being<br />
bEAR ABBY: Whon I was 16, I go1 pregnant by my<br />
qteady boyfriend. I wnnted to kee the baby, but my<br />
parents wouldn't let me. Jnstea ! they sent me to<br />
enother atate to stay with my aunt and uncle, who<br />
hook wonderful care of me. After I had my baby (I'll<br />
.call her..Tammy), my aunt and uncle adopted her on<br />
..the cotidition that I would never tell her I wae her real<br />
mbther.<br />
.' Tahy'e real father, who hnd ju~turned 17 at the<br />
iinic, cbuldn't accept the rcsponsihility. Aa a favor to<br />
hi&; 1, listed Tammy'a father an bcing unknown. I<br />
don't even know where hc is now.<br />
Tamrny in now a beautiful, hnppy, well-adjusted 15-<br />
$e+oId. She knows she's adopted, but that ia all. I am<br />
dow happily married and have two fine eons who<br />
.arep't aware that their cou~in Tammy is really their<br />
.haKaister. When I see Tnmmy, my nrma ache to hold<br />
hef clm and tell her who 1 really am.<br />
'<br />
HOW can I fight the urge to tell her?<br />
Aching Heart<br />
DEA~ ACHING: ~cmbmher your promi~e to your<br />
eudtiiad uncle and honor it. One dny, when Tammy is<br />
of Iegabage and sufficiently mature to handle it and if<br />
ehC.st% tR to know who her bi~logical parenta are, I<br />
!hitlk.s g o has the right to know. But you shouldn't be<br />
.$he oneto tell her.<br />
. For now, thnnk Cod she is a happy, wcll-adjusted<br />
child aiid leave wdll enough alone.<br />
OUT IT WA9 MY<br />
I
...<br />
, . . .<br />
. , . . .<br />
. . , . ',/,<br />
. .<br />
. . . . SEARCH ASSISTANTS<br />
Jan Deahl 841-7693<br />
JoAnne Lee 247-2498<br />
(evenings & Sat).<br />
Karen Tinkham 935-9702<br />
(!\toon to 3pm ONLY)<br />
Ann biehrtens 953-3256<br />
rblaury Trager 967-7641<br />
Barb blodrich 938-2597<br />
Please be CONSIDERATE when calling<br />
your search assistant:- We want yo,u<br />
to-call but ask that you observe<br />
our horlrs,<br />
Dorothy Foster 969-6042<br />
Birthparent/Adoptee<br />
Vi Pierce 972-3483<br />
Birthparent<br />
Lorraine Kazmier 838-4270<br />
Adoptive Parents<br />
Lynne Hellmers 997-2557<br />
Teen Rap Group<br />
Fairy Mae McKiernan 944-4729<br />
Adoptive Parent Class<br />
Diane Eckstein 277-7138<br />
Individual & Family<br />
Counseling<br />
If yournewsletter is checked here,<br />
it is time for your to renew<br />
. .<br />
We thank you for your support & interest<br />
in <strong>Search</strong> <strong>Triad</strong> this last year. Our<br />
membership fee ,is $15 per year<br />
($7.50 for out-of-town people who want<br />
the newsletter only). If you plan to<br />
renew, please send your check to<br />
Jim blcDonald, Treasurer 4327 West '<br />
Carol Ave., Glendale, Az 85302, Send<br />
it soon so you'dontt miss the next<br />
issue of the newsletter. We do have a<br />
ciltoff date on printing labels!<br />
I won't You Join Us? (<br />
What is thw MC?<br />
A coalltlon of lndlvlduals and groups<br />
across North America who care about maklng<br />
adoption more open.<br />
An acknowledgement of the many people<br />
who, on lhelr own or in groups, are working<br />
toward this goal in a varlely of ways.<br />
A means of educating ourselves about this<br />
and a channel through which we can educate<br />
the rest of the adoptlon community and the<br />
general public.<br />
An opportunity for groups, large and<br />
small, to learn from each other, and for<br />
lndivlduals, whether In a group or not, to<br />
connect up wlth the larger network.<br />
How can you Joln AAC?<br />
Groups can becomo Affillate Organltatlons<br />
($25) or Sustalnlng Affiliate Orgonitations<br />
($100). Thls does not make their own members<br />
lndivldual Members of the AAC.<br />
lndlviduals can become lndlvldual Members<br />
($lo), Sustaining Individual Members<br />
($20), or Life lndlvldual Members ($150).<br />
Checks should be made out to "American<br />
Adoption congress" and mailed with the form<br />
below lo:<br />
AAC<br />
c/o Held1 Taylor, Treasurer<br />
573 Hollyburne Lane<br />
Thousand Oaks, CA 91360<br />
Members will receive AAC Publlcatlons and<br />
wlll be informed 01 AAC activity within thelr<br />
reglons.<br />
..................................<br />
I I<br />
"Open Mindslopen Records"<br />
I '<br />
N#msolP.non w Orwp<br />
Mnlllng AQdfera:<br />
Typ of Mmb.rahlp: Indlv. (St01 - Sualmlnlng tndlv.<br />
- Suslng. Org. OtM)) -<br />
020) - Lila Indlv. 0150) - AHIIImIe Org. ($25)<br />
Optlmal: II an lndlvldual, check all cmtsporloa thrl mpply.<br />
Blrlhpml. -<br />
Adoptw - Adoptlvs Pfnl. '<br />
Adopllon Prolearlonml Olhsr (apeclfy) --<br />
Starch 7rr d& Tnc.<br />
.--.<br />
See you on the loth!<br />
Forwarding and<br />
Return Postage<br />
Guaranteed<br />
NON-PROFIT ORG.<br />
SJ. S. Postnge<br />
Litcl~lleld Park, <strong>AZ</strong> AS340<br />
Permit No. 8
..................... . . . ,<br />
. . . . . . . . . . . . . , . .. . . . . :.. I.;I.'...;... ... . . :. . . .,-:...,.~.:,: ...,,... ,..,..,, ..; ,,: ,;:;: >;:,,;, *:: , . .<br />
., . . . . . . . . . . . ....<br />
. / '<br />
. .<br />
:'...., , . .<br />
. ..
topureue a donation of a typewriter from the Arizona Bank. Ann Mehrtens will<br />
be using one,machine for publicity typing and Karen Tinkham will be using the<br />
other for the newsletter and correspondence. Thanks much to both Barb and Joyce<br />
and to the Arizona Bank!<br />
<strong>Search</strong> Assistants Jan Deahl, Ann Mehrtens and Karen Tinkham will be doing a<br />
special workshop in April for those members aearching in the state of Arizona,<br />
specifically the Phoenix area. Although most of our members are searching<br />
outside Arizona, suddenly we find we have many looking in Phoenix, so felt it<br />
would be beneficial to do a "special" workshop to explain sources in the Valley,<br />
where they are and how to use them.<br />
OVERDUE BOOKS - Nancy Miller, JoAnne Lee, Susan Caudell, Linda Theron, Marilyn<br />
Boddy and Mary Jo Stewart. IF YOU DON'T PLAN TO ATTEND THE<br />
APRIL MEETING PLEASE MAKE SURE JAN DEAHL HAS THESE BOOKS BEFORE<br />
OUR APRIL MEETING. PLEASE DON*^ ABUSE OUR LIBRARY!<br />
<strong>Search</strong> Assistants please make a change in your government publication regarding<br />
birth and death certificates...Colorado has now raised their.fee to $4.<br />
Thanks to Lola White for her donation!<br />
hanks to our members who did the following panels:<br />
February 9 - Gary Carter (Jewish Family Service)<br />
February 15- Bill Friedman and Audrey Kreft (Dept of Economic Security)<br />
February 16- Lorraine Kazmier (Jewish Family Service)<br />
February 16-'Gary Carter (Beth ~ockhart's Adoptive Parent Class)<br />
March LO Maurice Trager and Dorothy Foster (M.D.'s at County Hospital)<br />
March 15 - Maurice Trager, Dorothy Foster and Marian Lamb<br />
(Beth Lockhart's Adoptive Parent Class)<br />
March 30 Gary ~aiter (Beth Lockhart's Adoptive Parent Class)<br />
March 31 - Jim Lincoln and Lynn Hellmers (D.E.S.)<br />
REUN10NS/UPDATES - It has been only two weeks since our last meeting but two<br />
more members have found!<br />
Ann Wittke lives in Pinedale, Wyoming but was born in Phoenix. She was able<br />
to obtain information from her court file and discovered her mother was from<br />
Colorado. Some very discreet phone calls were made to family members still in<br />
Colorado and Ann learned that her birthmother still lives in the Phoenix area.<br />
Contact was made by phone, and tho Ann has been a well kept secret, her mother<br />
was so glad she called and indicated that she is willing to meet Ann when she<br />
comes to Phoenix. Her birthmother also appreciated the discreetion that was<br />
used during the search process!<br />
Cheryl Meyers joined us in January. She knew that her birthmother was not<br />
living but wanted to 1ocate:other relatives. Cheryl obtained her mother's<br />
death certificate, obit, checked the library for phone #Is for that surname<br />
and then called her uncle and aunt in Harrisburg, Pa. Shc has received a<br />
very warm reception and will meet her new found family when she flys to<br />
Pa in April for her sisters wedding. Cheryl has also learned that her<br />
maternal grandmother is still alive.<br />
One of our out of state members has asked that we share a few of his thoughts<br />
since his reunion with his mother. He found that his father had died of<br />
alcoholism and that his half-brother also has a severe drinking problem but is<br />
dealing with it by going to A.A. Our member is also now going to A.A. His<br />
mother told him that she twice tried to abort him unsuccessfully. He has now<br />
become more aware of his responsibility when involved with woman."This has not<br />
been an easy letter to write, but it is important to identify the consequences<br />
of reunion," (thank you for sharing!)<br />
A recent NBC Fantasy Show had a few of us very very upset. A well meaning<br />
adoptee from Washington had a reunion with her Canadian mother on the air.<br />
That was exciting, but I am afraid the adoptee got a bit carried away while<br />
sharing how she searched and found, revealing a search technique "on the air"<br />
that will no doubt now close many more doors in Canada, We all<br />
know how exciting it is to share your story, but don't share too much. You<br />
are not the only one aearching and others will follow in your footsteps...<br />
please tread lightly!<br />
-$,'
~ ~~ ~~~~ ~<br />
Comrnen t from Karen<br />
Each month we hear a careful<br />
warning from Lorraine on the<br />
importance of being discreet<br />
during your search. I trust<br />
you hear her but as a search<br />
assistant, I worry about some<br />
of the stories I hear concerning<br />
search technique being used by<br />
different groups and/or people<br />
who aren't working within the<br />
framework of an established<br />
organization. Over 7 years<br />
we have seen many many doors<br />
close because the person<br />
conducting the search said the<br />
wrong thing to the wrong person.<br />
UnEortunately we don't have a<br />
magic wand that we can wave<br />
to reopen that closed door.<br />
I would suggest you a11 work<br />
very closely with a search<br />
assistant. DOLL'^ be a<br />
stranger...do call between<br />
meetings. Don't feel you can<br />
only call with good news, we<br />
want you toshare the negative<br />
responses too. We are here<br />
because we care about each of<br />
you but we caution you about<br />
what you are doing because<br />
we also care about those that<br />
will follow you. We don't see<br />
open records yet, at least<br />
not in most states, so we must<br />
work together to keep what we<br />
have now open. Do your part.<br />
If you're not sure about<br />
something check first, not<br />
after the fact!<br />
We are very excited to report<br />
that Rosalie Schwab and B.J.<br />
Lifton have formed a support<br />
group that is meeting in<br />
New York City monthly. If<br />
you want details to share<br />
with a friend who would benefit<br />
from this, write to Rosalie<br />
at 3 Town House Circle<br />
Great Neck, NY 11031. Include<br />
a self. addressed stamped<br />
envelope !<br />
~on't forget the AAC ~at'l<br />
ConEerence in Columbus, Ohio<br />
May 19th through 22nd. We had<br />
hoped to have the complete<br />
schedule to reprint in this<br />
tion, "Did I come lrom your tummy?"<br />
By Roberta Plutzik Clore's suggested answer is: "You came<br />
-<br />
from a mother's tummy, but I dldn'f<br />
A<br />
doptees in the United States become your mother until afterward."<br />
now number in the millions, Research has proven, she adds, that<br />
and a recent spate of publici- "it's not always what parents say that's<br />
ty about adoption has made most Important in the early years but<br />
many Americans feel more at home rather the emotional environment and<br />
with the subject. Slill, plenty of parents tone in which they say il."<br />
who adopt - and the children who After a young child knows he's<br />
mrne to live with them - continue to adopted and is struggling to undcrexperience<br />
problems for which they stand why, it's not uncommon for him<br />
feel unprepared. ,<br />
to rebel against his adoptive parents.<br />
Some Hve rnUiion Americans are cur- "Most children, birth and adopted, at<br />
renliy registered as hacin been some point say they hate theirparerrts<br />
adopted, acceding to recen f rough and are ~oin to run away," Ciore exestimates<br />
from the Government. plains. Adds L urie Flynn, director of<br />
Thou adoption is no longer viewed the North American Council on Adopwith<br />
t 8: e curiosity it used to arouse, for table Children, "It's very upsettirr but<br />
the people who adopl and the children parents must not overread. lnstea ff . Re1<br />
, who are adopted there are sllll man at what's making the child fearful.<br />
issues that need to be addr eSSedl<br />
-<br />
"Even 1 the adoption is years in the<br />
making, the parent will be troubled<br />
with questions of bein a ypmr~t In an emti to make<br />
or being able to love t e c ild," states<br />
Ellen Clore, director of the nurse pradi-<br />
April issue of our news, but we have not yet rec'v n copy.<br />
More National news in our May issue!<br />
a, dcyDw fel<br />
tioner pro<br />
a<br />
ram at the University of u m e wme m t s<br />
Virginia, w o began studyin the com- h m e oqm&&?e<br />
f<br />
-<br />
plex needs of adopted chi dren and<br />
their parents before she adopled a<br />
rhild herself. She beliwes thal better<br />
awareness about potential pltfalls Usually the child wants reassurance.<br />
among people who are going to adopt The parents can say, 'You ore nly child,<br />
can better prepare them for the ex- I am your parent. h's work oul the<br />
perlence of parenthood.<br />
problem."'<br />
Uke ail new parents, individuals As childhood progresses, other<br />
who ado t experience leelings of stress hurdles remain lor parents and child.<br />
and ina B equacy in their new maternal In an effort lo make the adopted child<br />
and paternal roles, as well as hurdles lee1 wanted - especially in a farnily<br />
more particular to their situations. where there are also birth children -<br />
One of the mod troublesome issues some parents can become overprolcclor<br />
parents during the child's early tiveol the adopted lamii member. Doears<br />
is how and when to tell the child in# so will make him Y eel that much<br />
te Is adopted. and afterward, how to more diflerent, Clore says.<br />
cope with his possible feelings of conlu- In the teen yean, mos~ parents forlily<br />
don and anger. "I tell parents that themselves against the adopted child's<br />
belore they can answer a young child's request for concrfle information akut<br />
questions they mu^ ,pme to terms birth parents. While Clore believes the<br />
with their own feelings." Clore says. child stiould be encouraged to wait un-<br />
"Do they reel threaiened 9 being ti1 after the<br />
r-<br />
neral turmoil of adol~!s<br />
adoptive parents7 Do they feel)ealousy, cence to fm his birth parents, witlrdisapproval<br />
or su riorit toward the holding inbnnaIion ever1 before tliis<br />
birth Mer and P" aherl'<br />
stage can undermine the longterm<br />
, Cton also advises not to wait until $ adoptive relatbnshlp. "More than ever<br />
child asks where he came hom before the parents need to be honest with<br />
breaking the news. "Bring up the word their child and give inforniatiorr if tiley<br />
adoption so the child can never. re<br />
know it; if they don't know, they must<br />
mernber nol hearing h." she states. say so. The parent at this point is leel-<br />
"Before the of 5, address the issue, ing very threatened," says Clore, "ar~d<br />
because a ch "$ Id needs to hear it from needs to be reminded that the chances<br />
parents - no1 teachers or friends. Wst the child will leave are extremely slim,<br />
must be preserved." Kids who hear it that adoptive parents are the true psyfmm<br />
outsiden could be devastated, chologicel parents." Flynn advises<br />
In response to a preschooler's ques<br />
of the need lor information. ostility<br />
k cwul/ror dne mvme rei~~forcea the child's feeling Illat Ire<br />
~ik of Pmts m~erw thmj<br />
doesn't belong." RY<br />
adoptlve parents to be "very su<br />
Pr"ve<br />
FrJlllV WEEKLY CUVIUAIIY 27 ION 33<br />
S . -. -- ..--- -+.. . ---. .... , - - . . - -- - -<br />
Sorry!
&,-it<br />
tse3<br />
~rhbgyTqtvl<br />
Surrogate Mothers<br />
The practice of bearing a child for<br />
another woman dates at least to biblical<br />
times, but in recent years surrogate<br />
motherhood has leaped into<br />
public awareness as one of the socalled<br />
new ways by which infertile<br />
couples can become parents. It's<br />
easy to understand the couple's motivation<br />
in such an arrangement,<br />
but why does the surrogate volunteer?<br />
For many, says psychiatrist<br />
Philip J. Parker, the experience may<br />
be an attempt to overcome feelings<br />
of loss associated with previous<br />
pregnancies.<br />
In interviews with 125 women<br />
who had applied to become surrogate<br />
mothers, Parker found that a<br />
surprisingly large number46<br />
percent-either had had abortions<br />
(26 percent) or had borne children<br />
and relinquished them for adoption:<br />
(9 percent). Some of these women<br />
were conscious of their motivation.<br />
"instend of killing a baby," snid<br />
one, "I wankd to give the gift of a<br />
live baby to a loving couple."<br />
Other motives were present as<br />
well. Many women simply liked being<br />
pregnant. More than 100 of<br />
them hod had children and described<br />
their pregnancies in glowing terms,<br />
as times when they felt "more complete"<br />
or "more feminine and<br />
attractive!'<br />
As for the most obvious motivemoney-it<br />
was nn important<br />
but not sufficient reason. Writing<br />
in the American Journal of Psy-<br />
1 chintry (Vol. 140, No. I), Parker<br />
I reports thnt nearly all the women<br />
I<br />
(89 percent) said that they would<br />
require a fee for their service, but<br />
in no case was money the only<br />
motive for the surrogate mother.<br />
Suzanne Guinzburg<br />
#legitimacy no longer disgrace,<br />
m@&dpnss In~ernallon~l<br />
=;mPEKA, Kan. -<br />
/<br />
SKansae Supreme<br />
32<br />
justices rule ~timacy<br />
tb on Saturda no toyer mid<br />
w.<br />
Reappearance Rare<br />
~monr! the Mothers<br />
By ~amyzight<br />
When Martha S emo turned hereelf<br />
in yesterday llftar abandoning her now.<br />
born twins on a Great Neck doorstep early<br />
Monday,. she became an erceptioa<br />
The mothem of most lbundlinga never<br />
roarg two inetancea of deaarted be.<br />
biea in N w u County over the past<br />
five years, neither mother emerged.<br />
Suthdkbd w + ~ . d ~ n g . t M ~ : ,<br />
ba coneidered. iaful<br />
and u held a<br />
fr-court ting an &cislon unwed<br />
kt visitation rights<br />
'brdeflng him to pay<br />
3111Pd 'support,<br />
C<br />
child's mother,<br />
8&<br />
Oarty, had no auiy<br />
under Kaneaa<br />
law to sue to establish<br />
paternity.<br />
The Supreme Court<br />
agreed with Martin'e<br />
contention that there is<br />
no lnw in Kansan to<br />
have paternity declared<br />
for an illegitimate child<br />
by a court.<br />
The high court mid,<br />
however, that previous<br />
lower-court decisions<br />
had established that an<br />
unwed father ie entitled!<br />
to take court action.<br />
Carty and Martin met<br />
in January 1978; he wa8<br />
29 and a soldier at Fort<br />
Lenvenworth, Kan., and<br />
ehe was 17 and a student<br />
at tho Univoraity of<br />
Kansas. Each claimed<br />
they intended to get<br />
married but did not<br />
becawe of the other'e<br />
reluctsncc.<br />
Carty refueed<br />
--<br />
to sign<br />
od, and the mother wan located in two.<br />
A 1980 awey by the Denver-bnsed<br />
National Center for Child Abuse and<br />
Neglect found that, in the 6,700 cnees of<br />
abandoned children that. year nationwide,<br />
only 6 per cent of the mothers<br />
turned up - either voluntarily or<br />
through police work.<br />
A t ical abandonment was Amityville's<br />
% aby Bud, a male infant found in<br />
a beer carton outeide Brunewick Hospital<br />
Center in Jnnunry. He was placed in<br />
the foeter care of a Suffolk couple that<br />
hopee tp adopt him. The mother's identity<br />
remains a myetery. If she does not<br />
eurfece within six months bf the baby's<br />
discovery, 1410 relinquieheo her legal<br />
ri~hte to the child.<br />
Experts who have studied abandonment<br />
cnaes amund the nntisn any many<br />
of the mothem are oung, unrnanied and<br />
poor.ms~.<br />
mi Y tail40 @p, fornard<br />
the birth certificate<br />
when Adam Martin was<br />
born in April 1977 and<br />
did not pay support, but<br />
he :did acknowlbdge patcrnity.<br />
Carty married<br />
another woman in July<br />
1978 and -- was tram-<br />
ferred to Texse in November<br />
1979. He later<br />
moved bnck ta Kanm.<br />
Tho Dougla~ County<br />
Court granbd visitation<br />
and ordered Carty to<br />
pay $40 per month for<br />
ch~ld support-<br />
because they feel guilty and "want to remain<br />
anonymous," snid John Iafmte, a<br />
psychiatrist end regional director of the<br />
atate Mental Health Department.<br />
Some experta feel they are more to be<br />
pitied than condemned. "Society looks at<br />
them aa bnd pmple, but they're not, usually,"<br />
mid Dr. Vincent Fontnna, medical<br />
director of New York Foundling Iloepital<br />
in Manhattan and an internationally<br />
known expert onorphan cure. "They can't<br />
cope anymore and feel their children can<br />
be bettcr token care of by others."<br />
Such mothera love their children and<br />
do not seek to hurt them, the experb<br />
contend. Says Valerie Prouton, director<br />
of the adoption center for the hfnnhnttan-based<br />
Child Welfare League of<br />
America and a win1 worker, "Often, n<br />
mother will be eo emotionally dietrnught<br />
that ebe won't think of the coneguoncca<br />
of l~sving them.outaide."
~~~~<br />
' TRIAWPTION<br />
I<br />
Saturday.<br />
V<br />
TRUOOPTION tI8RARY CONFERENCE<br />
~ ~ r 23. i 1 Bonito Tower Disneyland Hotel Anaheim. CA<br />
I 8100 - 9100 a.m. BeC152PATIOH Lobby I<br />
Bwkroa Opm<br />
~anci Darbara Rom<br />
9:00 - 9150 a.m. OPEHlNC SESSION Carden Loun~e<br />
Bonnie hdo - <strong>Triad</strong>kdtwn Vice-Rss.<br />
Sophie Elvsrt - AAC 'hsident<br />
Rdar Pmolor ; Author "4doptbn 3SangLo"<br />
10100 - 11130 a.m. SESSION ONE<br />
SEARCH CLASS PART I<br />
WE HALE PCRSPFCTIVE ,<br />
REBIRWINC<br />
GRIEF, GRG%TU AND GAIN<br />
11:30 - 12150 LUHM BREAK - Free The<br />
1100 - 2120 p.m. SESSION N O<br />
SEARCH CLASS PART I1<br />
IICU IT EES TO BE weten<br />
San Clrrmanra Roam<br />
Sanra Roaa Room<br />
Santa C.tnlina Room<br />
Sanrr Cruz Room<br />
San Clemcnte Roua<br />
Santa Roaa Room<br />
Srnta Caralha Rom<br />
Santa Crur Room<br />
2:30 - 4:30 p.m. CLOSING SLSSIOH Carden Lounga<br />
Mary Jo Ritlern - Madoption Resident<br />
mthy SiLber - Opan ~doption is h'orkinp<br />
Dr. .WahaZZ Schechter - Pa~choZog.:oaL Parunt???<br />
Cmcellarion Policy Requires 48 Hours Norica For Refund<br />
LIBRARY CONFERENCE REGISTRATION<br />
NAne:<br />
ADDII~SSI<br />
525 par person PRTRECISTMTION :<br />
$30 par psrlon LATE REGISTRATION<br />
(.Lao available at the door)<br />
UTI: STATE:ZIP :-<br />
a *smCH CUSS PART I b 11<br />
WMC:<br />
(Lfmitud Seating)<br />
("Moprlon <strong>Search</strong>book" raquiredp<br />
Make dsaks pyabls to TRIAWPTION CONFERENCE<br />
C/O 7RIA3CP'T:O!/ WBRARY, IXC.<br />
7571 Wesfm~imter Avenus<br />
WssFminat~r, CA 92683<br />
‘-<br />
.10U",<br />
1*c10110 s<br />
-- - -- -<br />
Mn.Arco,whahd to lun 1 hylummymnl yun<br />
hat-B<br />
40, nonr pve birth to iwthat child, but lin& ~ h cin<br />
a<br />
her prlunt hwb.ld'~ children Hickenon nmver not<br />
mmlrd.<br />
1<br />
wbm it urud," rb. uid refernnr to her mn'm Life, "Wadon'twantto bunhim (&etonl, wdm'twantto<br />
They Iun rprntthrir muy in SL Peunbw muchins jwpudiu hi nh~ionrhip nth his adopuva pusnu, m<br />
narrbattbebmpitdcauu lod.nncir invdvcd in the jwt wan1 him to know who w m.' Hick.noa uid.<br />
dopumprool*d~Aqn~"llmlLikaI'nh<br />
hiUrnr b* &"<br />
MRS. ARC0 d d "I ~ m y luva own up my rkbu i<br />
~ ihummnuu dopt~on forbid the nlru. ol in. tothat child - and Pauldidn'c liw up hie rirht h w e he<br />
bnvuocl-dpu~sl.nn.Lrmu~nuldchuu didn't bow- but n11cb.r of ur hu glvm up our Ion md<br />
t o m o U c l t b . ~ ~ ~ l n n u<br />
mnmrn."<br />
3Ay. F E ~ ~ I I J ~ ~ ~ ~ ? ~ ~<br />
.<br />
m. P~RSBURG ~ M E S<br />
Paul Hi- and Kathken<br />
Nettles Argo: topther for<br />
ttwh timeuncs 1957.<br />
A couple<br />
reunites<br />
to search<br />
ifor a son<br />
..<br />
hVII*nAWLUIYI<br />
m'-r.lrw*m<br />
: It rr 1861. Paul Hkbnrm rr N.<br />
tion4 at the Penurn* Navd Air St.tioa<br />
d hchlro Joum Nettlr rr 1 Pm.<br />
umL&bvbmljuruotdmofarb.rru<br />
JlotatiuNry.Tb.yrmmr86bd.<br />
TbwddinroanrmkpLor AIW<br />
of mnu dunq thoepruxdeumrmr d<br />
1857 thm .put Wdmday o4bL<br />
h y rm mumtad in St. Patenburg.<br />
And nM LbI Pnul Hickenon and<br />
hchlan Nettla Art0 luve found ~ c h<br />
atb.t.cb.ywillmtartmaruchto~da<br />
tnuunliuylat~53~uu-I<br />
lo& ltwm hhy 30,157-MdDay-<br />
whea cb. 26yur wpm& kC.. lor Mn<br />
Am Mn. and &o. Hlckmmn. who at the rinu wu "no!<br />
quite ~8yunold"wuin J.cLomUentb<br />
berwdpamnu whm mixra ip.ndinr<br />
tb8 ~umwrvrrrtiun bemn hot junior<br />
d u ~ ~ o r & b ~ l y ~ .<br />
SINCE IT WAS 1 holidlv. Hick<br />
enonhd ban grantad "libany" lr~ me<br />
Nay md ipnt tbr &y with fakw ur.<br />
viaman at a hch on the Cull of Mexim.<br />
"Itwnlrrrllybol&ydtharulrwu<br />
6," bl mmsmkrat. 'ItmUtluw heen<br />
about 2 o'do* lpml d I M ban<br />
dancing at a nurby cuino.<br />
"1 ran d m the buch ... l ran mu, the<br />
~lur. I men it wu jut above my ha<br />
when I dove lorwud."<br />
Ha hit ht b d on the bottom.<br />
Hickenon ...~ uid ha did not rmia ma.<br />
d- ~~tilmnldlyl laurwhau &<br />
found himnlf in ch. bw'e,hmplul nth I<br />
vn.d spinal mrd. The tnjuy left him<br />
pudyrod from the ehrt down md mo.<br />
Cud to. wb.lch.ir, -- -,<br />
z~~~ .<br />
.<br />
Florid.. Update, 2-B BB<br />
Bluinoss, 114<br />
Obituarl~s. 178<br />
I n t h . . ~ ~ M n ~ 0 ~ ,<br />
butdmeud~hnsrnacoppd~ylnlto<br />
tiid out wlut luppad to Hi&m md<br />
her child Sh found her formsr rune, by<br />
~rliatd'25to~HicL~nonr"Liviq<br />
in LDUrrrillr. Ky. But it mn't be Umt uly<br />
totidberum.<br />
In Jacluonville. Mn. Avo lemcd 01 "I nude uwrd dL to P-h lo<br />
the lccidaot but w u unable u, mnuct Paul'a friend. md to rh1 bapiud. I<br />
fIICKER8ON bd ofmn nndand<br />
wn 'wlut happened to the gal I loved." Su<br />
Hickanon.<br />
told h wm u~mnciav d Lhn wn<br />
'I war not quite 188nd my rnndmorhr MU I muld da"<br />
whnhA~cllldhimL.tJulwrthi<br />
puenu' lorrh.lintunuLharbehdrmn-"I<br />
bow KmW - ulbg him<br />
wunrydomlnrnnr lad ref& to let mc<br />
go to Peauco4" Mn ~rr. d. addm~ DESPITE HER df~nr ih didn't dvnnwrfeUartolrb.bd."heuid<br />
that her pusnu dm didn't want hlr to u Hickrmn uup<br />
lbtwodadddlatotad~~heir<br />
mme home. "My mother did noc like the Hiektnon wd Lhat wWa the docton uurh in SL Pnanbuq. "balm rhir u<br />
~ dof u my getung muned. she ~hought I and mdld ~ ~ at ch1 f f Peuumlr ~ v d<br />
SO 1 d ~&to lo PewmLLm hmp~ul did r (md pb - of 'tryuy to kwp<br />
Sa SEARCH. 1611<br />
- .- .<br />
-1 -<br />
ry~)~~y<br />
-EEzb<br />
SoIns.puslnr.huidhLpmau<br />
Id dlkiab to mder him<br />
101 r -'a -Id b t<br />
bda~mrdIn)mTm~aocn.<br />
H*..r~diub.rldo.F*h26<br />
1960.ldmumd10hiboauinLaiivIk<br />
tdlytobh<br />
Feb 6. tRU st Mamd Puk Hapid<br />
grnbinhtoahbybw."1Whim<br />
lmrhpkmt MdialC.nut) h ~ n o<br />
KninLr. . . ~ b r m w ( ~ w i t h ~<br />
'K' tun in my hail). .Dd Lu .h.l my<br />
lMdmotbrb.aw.betmdbymamntbaohrrdidnt.monLhL(hiry<br />
... ldLlnrlilacb.doptpan*.r~ntil<br />
rbcLyb.(mI*htheh*piul"<br />
Mn.~uid.b*h&h*piUllou~<br />
&pUbrti~binhlacb.bbyd~t<br />
tuktoJuboonlL'toqtopukuprh<br />
niu"
. . . . . ..<br />
.<br />
. . .<br />
, . . . ..<br />
.. ..<br />
.<br />
.<br />
. .<br />
......... ' SEARCH ASSISTANTS<br />
, .<br />
Jan Deahl<br />
JoAnne Lee<br />
(evenings & Sat)<br />
Karen Tinkham<br />
(Noon to 3pm ONLY)<br />
Ann Mehrtens<br />
Maurice Trager<br />
Barb Wodrich<br />
PLEASE BE CONSIDERATE WHEN<br />
CALLING YOUR SEARCH ASSISTANT.<br />
We ask that you observe our<br />
hours.<br />
, CARING NUMBERS<br />
Dorothy Foster 969-6042<br />
Birthparent Adoptee<br />
V i Pierce 972-3483<br />
Birthparent<br />
Lorraine Kazmier 838-4270<br />
Adoptive Parents<br />
Lynne Hellmers 997-2557<br />
Teen Rap Group<br />
Fairy Mae McKiernan 944-4729<br />
Adoptive Parent Class<br />
Diane Eckstein 277-7138<br />
Individual & Family<br />
Counseling<br />
-<br />
We're . AAC a<br />
.<br />
Won't You Join Us?<br />
Whr(Ir*wAAm<br />
A codltlon of Indlvidualr md groups<br />
mcrou North Amla who cam .bout making<br />
rdoptlon more open.<br />
An 8cknowledgaent of Lho many poopla<br />
who, on tholr own or in gmupr, ua working<br />
toward thlr goal In m varlsty of wyr.<br />
A mean# of eduutlng wnelvm about thh<br />
and r channel through whkh we CM educate<br />
the rsst of the doptlon community and the<br />
general public.<br />
An opportunity for groups, large and<br />
rmall. to learn from each other, and for<br />
Indlvidualr, whbthor In a group or not, to<br />
connect up wlth the larger network.<br />
Horrcmtyw~MC?<br />
Qroupa CM become Afflllate Organiratlonr<br />
($25) or Sustalnlng Afflllate Organlzatlons<br />
($100). Thls do- not make their own membem<br />
lndlvidu8l Memben of thq AAC.<br />
lndlvidualr can become tndlvldual Memban<br />
($lo), Sustalnlng lndlvlduat Momberr<br />
(SZO), or Life lndlvlduat Membem ($150).<br />
Checks should be made out to "Amorlcan<br />
Adoption congress" md malkd wlth the form<br />
below to:<br />
MC<br />
clo HeMI Tqlor, Tn&uru<br />
ST3 HoHykwm L3n<br />
Thouund Oaka, CA W1W<br />
Mwnh will receive AAC Publications and<br />
wlll be informed of AAC actlvlty within thelr<br />
regions.<br />
If your newsletter is checked here,<br />
it is time for you to renew<br />
We thank you for your support and<br />
interest in <strong>Search</strong> <strong>Triad</strong> this last year.<br />
Our membership fee is $15 per year<br />
($7.50 for out-of-town people who want<br />
only the newsletter). Please send<br />
your check to Jim McDonald at<br />
4327 W. Carol Ave., Glendale, Az<br />
85302. Do it soon so you don t miss<br />
the May anniversary issue!<br />
"Open Mlnds/Open Records"<br />
NuwdPI.onuOroup<br />
urtlw AM-:<br />
Two a( Umba~hk Indh. (119- 8usl.lning lndh.<br />
- h mo ore ($lo4 -<br />
(W - Llk ~ndtr. OVW) - Amnmlr Ore. ()+J)<br />
opt- n M lndfrw~~. cwc II( UI-~ IIM 01,<br />
AdOptr - Map~k. Rnc. ' MIvml. -<br />
See you on the 14thll<br />
Forwarding and<br />
Return Postage<br />
Guaranteed<br />
NON-PROFIT ORG.<br />
.U. S. Postago<br />
PAID.<br />
Lltciificld Pnrk, '<strong>AZ</strong> 85340<br />
Permit No. 8<br />
t
.- - J ~ . ,<br />
SEARCH TRIAD INC.<br />
Box 1432<br />
Litchfield Park, Arizona 85340<br />
%<br />
602 935-9702<br />
Vo1. VILI NO, 1 May 1983<br />
I<br />
Karen Tinkham<br />
~xecutive Director<br />
Lorraine Kazmier<br />
President<br />
Pol icy:<br />
<strong>Search</strong> <strong>Triad</strong> Inc. is an independent, non profit organization<br />
offering a free service of idea exchange, volunteer support and<br />
educational guidelines in the adoption triangle, We are a<br />
member of the American Adoption Congress, a coalition of<br />
individuals and groups nationwide who support more openess in<br />
adoption.<br />
We offer an open meeting to adults in search, although we do<br />
not advocate birthparents searching for minors or minors<br />
searching for birthparents. Counseling is available.<br />
"To forget one's anceotors is to be a brook without<br />
a source, a tree without root. ::<br />
-Chinese Proverb<br />
NEXT MEETING<br />
May 12th at 7:30pm<br />
All Saints' Episcopal Church<br />
Manning Hall<br />
6300 North Central Avenue<br />
Phoenix<br />
Executive Board meets at<br />
6:30pm in the garden.<br />
FUTURE MEETINGS<br />
June 9th<br />
July'14th.<br />
August 11th<br />
Teen Rap CrouplAdoptive<br />
Parent Discussion Croup<br />
meets on May 19th.<br />
Join us for a 7th Anniversary<br />
Celebration! We will having<br />
a time of reunion sharing,<br />
search assistance available<br />
and time to socalize.<br />
May 6th marks our 7th anniversary. As we begin our eighth year in Phoenix,<br />
perhaps we should take a moment to review the how and why of our organization.<br />
Ginger Gibson Rogers placed an ad in the Phoenix Gazette in the spring of 1976.<br />
She had hopes of gathering together with others to share ideas regarding adoption<br />
and the search proceso. Her ad caught the eye of a Gazette reporter and a three<br />
part series on adoption followed. This series caused quite a stir and <strong>Search</strong><br />
was born. We have seen many changes over the years, many new faces and many<br />
wonderful reunions. We incorporated and became <strong>Search</strong> <strong>Triad</strong> Inc., gained<br />
non profit status from the IRS and expanded our services. We have joined the<br />
American Adoption Congress and work toward more openess and honesty in adoption.<br />
We hope you are proud of your group! Thank you Ginger for having the courage<br />
to rhara your reunion, something very special has resulted from that sharing!<br />
"It is a noble faculty of our nature which enables us to connect our thoughts,<br />
our sympathies, and our happiness with Qhat is distant in place or time; and,<br />
looking before and after, to hold collmunion at once with our ancestors and our<br />
posterity.. .We live in the past by knowledge of its history, and in the future<br />
334
y hope and anticipation. By ascending to an association with our ancestors;<br />
by contemplating their example and studying their character; by partaking<br />
their sentiments, and imbibing their spirit; by accompanying them in their toils,<br />
by sympathizing in their sufferings, and rejoicing in their successes and their<br />
triumphs; we seem to belong to their age, and to mingle our own existence with<br />
theirs. We become their contemporaries, live the lives they lived, endure what<br />
they endured, and partake in the rewarda which they enjoyed....There may be, and<br />
there often is, a regard for ancestry, which nourishes only a weak pride; as<br />
there is also a care for posterity, which only disguises an habitual avarice,<br />
or hides the workings of a low and grovelling vanity. But there is also a moral<br />
and philosophical respect for' our ancestors, which elevates the character and<br />
improves the heart. Next to the sense of religious duty and moral feeling, I<br />
hardly know what should bear with stronger obligation on a liberal and enlightened<br />
\ mind, than a consciousness of alliance with excellence which is departed; and a<br />
consciousness, too, that in its acts and conduct, and even in its sentiments and<br />
thoughts, it may be actively operating on the happiness of those who come after it, 9 9<br />
-Daniel Webster<br />
The movement has lost someone very special. Ed Gaunt died on March 27th in<br />
Chicago. He was affiliated with the Board of Certification for Genealogists,<br />
a Member of the Illinois State Genealogical So,ciety, the Chicago Genealogical<br />
Society and the Illinois Lodge of Research. He was also an ISC <strong>Search</strong> Consultant<br />
and was directly responsible for the completed searches of our members Ann<br />
Mehrtens, Sharon Versland and Lois McCutcheon. Ed is survived by his wife<br />
Ruth and a son. Words cannot express the loss we all feel.<br />
<strong>Search</strong> <strong>Triad</strong> News<br />
.. .<br />
I<br />
8 335<br />
Please make a special effort to sign in at the monthly meeting...this means<br />
everyone! We need an accurate headcount every month and we. are finding that<br />
many of you are forgetting to do so. Guests are also expected to sign our<br />
"we1come"sheetl<br />
Special congrats are sent to Susan Hammond who will become the Director of<br />
PACER in Palo Alto, California as of July 1, 1983. Susan was active in <strong>Search</strong><br />
<strong>Triad</strong> for several years and was responsible for writing our newsletter, served<br />
as Secretary and search assistant. Dirck Brown, the present director of PACER<br />
is moving to Granville, Ohio and is establishing PACER-EAST in Ohio. We are<br />
very proud of you Susan!!<br />
The Adoption Education and Counseling Center is a non-profit organization<br />
which offers information, education and counseling to people involved with<br />
or interested in adoption. The Center provides many services including<br />
workshops for families considering adoption, adoptees, and for birth parents.<br />
Community education programs and individual and family counseling are also<br />
offered. The co-directors of the Center are Diane Eckstein, MSW, and Jo<br />
Sadalla, MSW. They are offering a Workshop for Birth Parents beginning on<br />
May 18th, running for four Wednsday nights from 7:30 to 9:30pm. Fee is $40,<br />
location 1515 N. 9th St. in Phoenix. For more information call 277-7138.<br />
Overdue books - Nancy Miller (3-10) Bob Schuster (3-10) Jo Osman (3-10)<br />
Mary Jo Stewart (11-82) and Cheyrl Myers (3-10)<br />
Special thanks to Helen Leech who has donated One Against the Storm and Mommie<br />
Dearest to the library!
SEARCH ASSISTANTS<br />
Jan Deahl 841-7693 '<br />
JoAnne Lee 247-2498<br />
(evenings & Sat)<br />
Karen Tinkham<br />
-<br />
935-9702<br />
(Noon to 3PM ONLY)<br />
Ann Mehrtens<br />
Maurice Trager 967-7641<br />
Barb Wodrich 938-2597<br />
or<br />
937-5549<br />
.<br />
PLEASE BE CONSIDERATE WHEN<br />
CALLING YOUR SEARCH ASSISTANT.<br />
We ask that you observe' our hours.. .<br />
and please don't call at dinnertime!<br />
CARING NUMBERS<br />
Dorothy Foster 969-6042<br />
- Bir thparent-Adoptee<br />
<strong>Search</strong> Assistants JoAnne Lee, Karen Tinkham,<br />
V i Pierce 972-3483 Jan Deahl, Maurice Trager & Barb Wodrich<br />
Bir thparent<br />
Lorraine Kazmier 838~~4270<br />
Adoptive Parents<br />
Lynne Hellmers 997-2557<br />
Teen Rap Group %. .. .<br />
Fairy Mae McKiernan 944-4729<br />
Adoptive Parent Class<br />
Diane Ecks tein 277-7138<br />
Individual & Family<br />
Counse 1 ing<br />
We would again suggest' tha-t each<br />
of you work closely with a <strong>Search</strong><br />
Assistant. Don't be a stranger...<br />
do call between meetings. We want<br />
you to share both the negative<br />
and positive responses during<br />
your search, If you're not sure<br />
about something check first before<br />
sending it off,<br />
We do not have all the answers,<br />
but we will work together to f i d<br />
them. Go carefully! Remember to<br />
Leslie Carter, Mike Berdine (training S.A.'s) Ann<br />
RESPECT your birthmother's<br />
Mehrtens - S.A., Treasurer Jim McDonald and<br />
privacy. Her parents, husband,<br />
training S.A. & President Lorraine Kazmier.<br />
children, relatives, school<br />
friends might not know about the<br />
baby she relinquished to adoption.<br />
Birthparents remember, not all adoptees know they are adopted. Be cautious! Just<br />
remember, we are here to help!
. , . . .... . . . . ,,. .. . , . . .. ..,. . . . . . . . . . . . . ,. . .<br />
, :. . ..<br />
. .. . ., ''<br />
. ,. .. . .:. ,. . . .:. .<br />
. . ;<br />
r:.<br />
: - :. ..<br />
Panels<br />
April 12 Sue Mills and Audrey Kreft (Dept of Economic Security)<br />
April 12 J.C. Lincoln Hospital (thru Diane Eckstein) Kathy Roheim and Gary Carter<br />
April 18 -<br />
-<br />
County Hospital MsD.'s panel: Maurice Trager & Lynne Hellmers<br />
April 28 Rio Solado Adoptive Parent Class: Jim McDonald, Terry Lippens, Dorothy Foster,<br />
Joan Lee and Lorraine Kazmier<br />
Reunions<br />
Sue Mills flew to Los Angeles to tape a FANTASY<br />
Show (NBC - 1 to 2pm) which will air in Phoenix<br />
on May 25th. She had the opportunity to go into<br />
the Fountain to try for money to help her fly to<br />
Chicago to meet her birth family. She did<br />
a fantastic job and also had the bonus of meeting<br />
her mother too. She will share details at the<br />
meeting.<br />
Kathy Chrisman found her mother and brother months<br />
ago but just received pictures. A special surprise<br />
came on her birthday....a dozen roses from her .<br />
brother! We can't wait to see your pictures Kathy!<br />
Gary Carter was reunited with his father and<br />
siblings over a year ago, but just recentiy met<br />
his mother who lives in Washington. He will share<br />
the wonderful results of this family reunion on<br />
Thursday.<br />
Deb Weitz resides in Tucson and wrote us a most<br />
exciting letter with details of a reunion with<br />
her birthmother in California.<br />
Won't You Join Us?<br />
Whabth.MC?<br />
A coalition of individuals nnd groups<br />
.crou North America who care about Wing<br />
adoption more open.<br />
An ncknowllbdgmmt of the many fmpb<br />
Who, on tholr own or In groups, am working<br />
Ward thir goal in n vrrloty of w8ya.<br />
A means of educating ourselvm about thk<br />
and n channel through whkh we can educate<br />
Ute rest of the adoption community and the<br />
general public.<br />
An opportunity for groups, large and<br />
small, to learn from each other, and for<br />
individuals, whether in a group or not, to<br />
. connect up with the larger network.<br />
How cm you )oh MC7<br />
e Groups can become Affiliate Organizations<br />
($25) or Sustaining Affiliate Organizations<br />
($100). This does not make their own members<br />
Individual Msmben of the AAC.<br />
Individuals can become Individual Members<br />
($lo), Sustaining Individual Members<br />
($20), or Life Individual Members ($150).<br />
We're AAC ...<br />
"Man can't change the truth but the truth can<br />
change the man. If<br />
Checks should be made out to "American<br />
Adoption congress" and mailed with the form<br />
below to:<br />
AAC<br />
C/O Heldl Taylor, Tmnurer<br />
573 Hollyburrn L.ri.<br />
Thouund Oab, CA 91380<br />
Members will receive AAC Publications and<br />
will be informed of AAC activity wilhin their<br />
regions.<br />
"Open Mindslopen Records"<br />
Nurw of P.noo w Group<br />
1 MdlhAdd~:<br />
Typo ol Membmhlp: Indlv. ($10) - Surlaining Indiv.<br />
((20)- Lllr Indlv. ($150)- Afllllrlo 010. ($25)<br />
- swtng. Org. ($100)-<br />
Optimal: ll mn lndlvldurl, chock all utogorln that apply.<br />
Aduploo - '<br />
Adoptive Prnl. Blflhpml. -<br />
Maplion Prolassionrl Othw (rp.clIy)<br />
~LPP~A<br />
7t-1 drrC Znc.
News from around the movement<br />
from KCAAO/Miss,ouri<br />
Federal Law 384-B provides that an individual is entitled to<br />
a copy of a legal document which bears his or her signature.<br />
If any agency receives federal funds, they too are bound by<br />
the Freedom of Information Act, just like the public agencies.<br />
Birthparents may wish to cite Law 384-B in attempting to<br />
request copies of their relinquishment papers. Adoptive<br />
parents may request a copy of the Adoption Decree the same way,<br />
from Operation IdentityINew Mexico<br />
"The Editor & Publisher Int'l Yearbook," The Ayer Directory<br />
of Publications, " and "Ulrich's Int' 1 Periodicals Dictionary"<br />
are books that will help in finding what newspapers are. or<br />
were in existence in a certain area.<br />
from Operation Identity/New MexLco<br />
Military Persons that are blood relation can be located by<br />
contacting your senator or congressman. Simply say you<br />
want to locate your father, son, etc., and give birthdate.<br />
You do not need a social security number.<br />
from AIS!Colorado<br />
The Colorado Registry set up by'the Colorado Dept, of Public<br />
Health in October, will cease to exist at the end of June 1983.<br />
Out of 167 applicants, no matches have yet been made.<br />
"Adoption Is A Circle of Love"/Options in Adoptinn - An.<br />
Exploration of Ways to Humanize The Adoption Process i s<br />
available, no charge, from<br />
ARC Region 7<br />
University of Missouri<br />
124 Clark Hall<br />
Columbia, Mo 65211<br />
New book - Eternal Inspirations by E. Lynn Giddens. This is<br />
a true story. It contains recollections surrounding the<br />
lives of E. Lynn Giddens and her older brother Jackie, both<br />
adoptees. It is an inspirational, yet thought provoking<br />
testimonial. $4.50 from Arnberly Publications Box 4153<br />
Chapel Hill, N.C. 27514.<br />
from Adoption Information Exchange./~orth Carolina<br />
Adoptive Parents For Open Records is forming. If you are an<br />
adoptive parent, or interested in this area, please write to<br />
Carol Gustavson 9 Marjorie Drive, Schooley's Mountain,<br />
Hackettstown, N.J. 07840. Include a self addressed stamped<br />
envelope with your request for information.<br />
from Bob ol~ell/Open Arms Quarterly Editor<br />
"The point is, when you decide to search, don t make the<br />
mistake of approaching the situation with the typical, "what<br />
can you do for me?" Are you prepared to GIVE something to<br />
the Adoption Movement as well? Your contributions need not<br />
be great; a few hours of your time; a few of your dollars;<br />
your thoughts; a sharing of your feelings. 11<br />
Worldwide locator helps track~ir<br />
Force members<br />
A worldwide locator keeps Air<br />
Force members in touch with each<br />
other. Air Force Manpower and Personnel<br />
Center oficials announced at<br />
Randolph.<br />
Active-duty, retired, National<br />
Guard, Reserve and their family<br />
members may use the service at no<br />
charge.<br />
The Department of Defense does.<br />
however, ask the general public to pay<br />
r 52.85 fee for the service. Oficials<br />
said the fee is to offset search costs.<br />
Ollicials said in certain cases fees<br />
will not be charged to members of the<br />
public. One such case would be separated<br />
members searching for character<br />
witnesses when applying for VA<br />
benefits, or upgrading discharges<br />
when trying to re-enter the military. A<br />
full explanation of the circumstances<br />
should be given to determine whether<br />
or not a fee is required for the service.<br />
Officials ask military-related<br />
requestors to state their connection so<br />
they will not be billed.<br />
Requestors should provide all<br />
known information about the<br />
individual for whom they are searching.<br />
Send the full name. social security<br />
rccount number (SSAN). or service<br />
number and grade to: Headquarters<br />
Air Force hlanpower and Personnel<br />
CenterthlPC003, Randolph AFB,<br />
Texas 78 150.<br />
If the SSAN or service number is<br />
not known. dates and places of birth,<br />
organizations and dates of assignments<br />
can help locate the person.<br />
Once the member is located. the military<br />
address will be mailed back to the<br />
requestor.<br />
To avoid violating the Privacy Act,<br />
a system has been devised lo contact<br />
retired members. Requestors should<br />
place letters in sealed, stamped<br />
envelopes with return address and<br />
name of the individual to be conlacted.<br />
That sealed envelope and 1<br />
available information on the person to<br />
be located should be placed into<br />
another envelope and mailed to the<br />
worldwide locator. The located member<br />
receiving the letter will then have<br />
the option of answering the letter<br />
without invasion of his or her privacy.
.<br />
6<br />
.<br />
from ISC Consultant Connection/California<br />
I am so angry! I have just received, from a friend, a copy of an article called<br />
"Whose Child Is This?" 1t.h taken from March 6, 1983 San Francisco Chronicle.<br />
The article is on surrogate parenting, but touches on adoption in a lethal way --<br />
let me quote!<br />
"obtaining a child through a surrogate mother offers another advantage<br />
to infertile couples who want children; a measure of control, If he said.<br />
You know who the father is and that the surrogate mother, under the<br />
terms of the contract, will be following a healthy diet regimen and<br />
receiving competent medical treatment during her pregnancy. IN MOST<br />
REGULAR ADOPTION SITUATIONS, THE MOTHERS ARE PROSTITUTES OR DRUG<br />
ADDICTS WHO ARE HARD UP FOR CASH."<br />
We cannot let this one go by. Please take the time now to sit down and make<br />
yourself heard. This quote is from Dr. Geoffrey Nusbaum c/o Fertility<br />
Research Foundation 1424 2nd Avenue NY,NY 10021. Also write Editor,<br />
San Francisco ChroniclelThis World 870 Market St. San Francisco, Ca 94102.<br />
from RaplineIMichigan as it was quoted in Roots & Wings/Ga<br />
Birthmother Shares Her Sorrow<br />
It is with unimaginable grief that. I relate my sad new to you. I have finally<br />
found my angel unaware. I had been sitting going through some of my correspondence<br />
regarding my son when I saw Ginger's article about her angel unaware. I was moved<br />
to call the state school in my area and ask the woman who answered the phone if they<br />
had a patient by my son's name. She asked for his date of birth, and when I told her<br />
she said that yes, he had been a patient, but that he had died quite some time ago,<br />
on July 26, 1966. I called her on July 26, 1982, exactly 16 years from the date of<br />
his death. "Who is this anyway?", she asked.<br />
Words can't express how I felt. I couldn't believe my ears. Was I really hearing<br />
right? I checked further and found to my grief that she was right, My baby had died<br />
at age 5. She said that he was never able to talk and was retarded, but she went on<br />
to very matter of factly assure me that he had not suffered. He had only been there<br />
about a month before he died of pneumonia.<br />
Today, (July 29) is the anniversary of the day he was buried. I found his tiny<br />
grave, covered over by 16 years of weeds and brush. The caretaker said, "Well,<br />
that was a long time ago and they didn't have markers for the children, nothing<br />
to mark that he had even existed. Someone had once used a tin can to place flowers<br />
in, I think, but it was very decayed. Ironic that I had called the school on impulse,<br />
and my call was on the 16th anniversary of his death.<br />
I had so hoped and prayed that he was happy, living in a family who loved him as<br />
much as I did. He was never even adopted, and I had never been told. If I had<br />
known, I could have taken him home with me. I have to question why God would let<br />
a little child go through so much. It all seems so senseless. The woman also<br />
told me that he weighed only 34 pounds when he died,<br />
When I asked about the burial I was told he was put in a Styrofoam box, the kind<br />
they use for all the state patients there. My heart turned inside out. I couldn't<br />
believe I was hearing this. I am going to see if I can scrape enough money together,<br />
because somehow I must at least get him a tombstone. In my grief, though, I am<br />
in a sense at peace for the first time in 22 years because at least now I know no<br />
one can ever hurt him or torment him again. He is now truly my angel unaware.<br />
Karen<br />
Article - Time May 2, 1983<br />
searching for a Forever Home (TV program's helpi% get adopted)<br />
page 77<br />
334<br />
-
Rosalie Schwab has sent us a copy of the bill being proposed in New York State<br />
regarding sibling reunions for adoptees over the age of 21 or for adoptive<br />
parents of a minor needing a birth donor for medical reasons. This is #A-4528<br />
and is sponsored by Assemblyman Gene Levy of Suffern, N.Y. The bill seems to<br />
have a good chance of passing but needs grass roots support. Please send a<br />
letter or telegram in support to:<br />
Legislative Office Bldg.<br />
Albany, NY 12248<br />
If any of you want a copy of the bill, send a SASE to our P.O.<br />
will be glad to mail you a copy!<br />
Box and we<br />
Jcfo'c<br />
I<br />
from Tucson Open Door Society<br />
You have to steer your own course.<br />
You have to do your own thinking.<br />
You must make your own decisions.<br />
You have to sc,lve your own problems.<br />
Your character is your own handiwork.<br />
You have to write your own record.<br />
You have to build your own monument -<br />
or dig your own pit.<br />
B.C. Forbes<br />
Available soon...the ISC Calendarbf Adoption Fantasy/Reality! Pat Sanders<br />
decided that we needed more humor in the movement, so has put together a<br />
1984 calendar...twelve months of photos with captions - the social worker -<br />
the adopted child - the reunion. Price will be $5, not sure of the postage<br />
yet, hopefully we will have one by June.<br />
I<br />
We are receiving excellent newsletters from the American Adoption Congress,<br />
both the National Newsletter and our Renion 9 ~ewslet'ter. One copy will<br />
be in the library for your review. The-~ational Conference will be held in 1<br />
in<br />
I<br />
Columbus, Ohio a few weeks and Lynne Hellmers and Lorraine Kazmier will<br />
be in attendance!<br />
Goals of the American Adoption Congress are:<br />
1. To rewrite adoption laws and remodel agency practices toward greater<br />
openess, honesty and justice in adoption.<br />
2. TO rectify the deprivations of past adoptions by aiding individuals in I<br />
searching- their genetic her itages and in resurrecting their relationships<br />
of origin.<br />
3. To grant a valid option of adoption to expectant birthparents who, in<br />
our open society, ask participation in their children s adoptions.<br />
4. To relieve adoptive parents the anxiety of unknown factors in their<br />
children s medical and social backgrounds through more open communication<br />
both before and after adoptive placement.<br />
5. To provide adopted children the security of a known birth heritage in<br />
.<br />
an environment free of mystery and fear.<br />
More about the AAC next month.<br />
I<br />
I
. . , .<br />
las t'year and hope you will. continue<br />
with us as a member. Our membership<br />
fee is $15 per. year ($7.50 for out-of-<br />
- town people who want only the news).<br />
If you plan to renew, ' please send<br />
your check to Jim McDonald'<br />
NON-PROFIT .ORG.<br />
Forwarding and<br />
Re turn Postage<br />
Guaranteed<br />
Litchfield Park, <strong>AZ</strong> 85340<br />
Permit No. 8<br />
d?ng 23/2<br />
ch-w/.> CcLy / 1<br />
P9.70~
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EL<br />
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. . ' Vol.<br />
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VIII No.2 , ' . June 1983 . . .<br />
: Karen Tinkham Lorraine Kazmier<br />
Executive Director<br />
President<br />
Policy:<br />
<strong>Search</strong> <strong>Triad</strong> Inc. is an independent, non profit organization<br />
offering a free service of idea exchange, volunteer support<br />
and educational guidelines in the adoption triangle. We are a<br />
member of the American.Adoption Congress, a coalition of<br />
individuals and groups nationwide who support more openess in<br />
adoption.<br />
We offer an open meeting to adults in search, although we do<br />
not advocate birthparents searching for minors or minors<br />
searching for birthparents. Counseling is available.<br />
"To forget one's ancestors is to be a brook without<br />
a source, a tree without root. I*<br />
-Chinese Proverb<br />
NEXT MEETING<br />
June 9 th at 7:30pm<br />
ALL Saints' Episcopal Church<br />
Manning Hall<br />
6300 North Central Avenue<br />
Phoenix<br />
Executive Board meets at<br />
6:30pm in the garden.<br />
Join us for a sharing of some<br />
very exciting reunions l We<br />
will have search assistance<br />
available as well as rap groups<br />
for pre-reunion, post reunion<br />
and the incomplete reunion group.<br />
Birthparents of minor children are<br />
encouraged to sit in on any of the<br />
above rap groups.<br />
FUTURE MEETINGS<br />
July 14th<br />
August '11th<br />
September - to be announced<br />
October 13<br />
November 10<br />
December 8<br />
Mark your calendar now so you<br />
don't forget a meeting.<br />
Remember that your newsletter<br />
might not arrive before the<br />
meeting night so don' t depend<br />
on that as your reminder!<br />
Teen Rap Group-Adoptive Parent<br />
Discussion Croup meets on<br />
Thursday, June 16th.<br />
Last month we celebrated our 7th anniversary.. At the meeting, our President<br />
Lorraine Kazmier shared her thoughts regarding this special night....Birthdays<br />
end anniversaries are times for congratulations and wishes. This our 7th<br />
anniversary is such a time. So - congratulations to our founding members who<br />
are still active and a vital part of <strong>Search</strong> <strong>Triad</strong>. Maurice Trager, Barb<br />
Wodrich, Helen Leech and Karen Tinkham - for their fortitude in sticking with<br />
<strong>Search</strong> thru the lean times, for their persis tance in finding the doors and paths<br />
that have lead to our reunions, for their leadership in making <strong>Search</strong> <strong>Triad</strong> one<br />
of the most respected groups in the country,<br />
Congratulations to Carrie and Charlie Tinkham for being supportive and "living<br />
through" thousands of phone calls, listening to the typewriter go till 4 a.m.,<br />
and generally watching Karen work her buns off.<br />
Congratulations to all past and current members of <strong>Search</strong> who - loudly or<br />
quietly - have made a statement to the world. Secrecy and sealed records should<br />
not be part of the adoption process.<br />
-<br />
The wishes - that every birthmother will find peace in her heart and know the<br />
joy of holding her child in her arms, That the adoptive parents will open their<br />
minds and hearts and listen to their children and understand their needs. For<br />
the adoptees - may they find the answers to the questions that they so fervantly<br />
seek, May they have the joy of looking into a face that is a reflection of<br />
their own. May they know the heritage and love of their mother.<br />
May the legislature be enlightened and know that human rights are being violated<br />
and it must stop. And may the coming year be even more successful, more doors<br />
opened, and each one of ua be more sensitive to one another.<br />
tlappy anniversary f
. . . .<br />
. . ,..<br />
: . ' .<br />
Thanks to those who helped make'our pbkt]<br />
so soecial last month... to Ann Mehrtens<br />
. .<br />
who bupplied us with greet punch, to I - . ?I<br />
~aril* Boddy, ,JoAnne Lee, Barb Wodrich<br />
.<br />
and Karen Tinkham who brought cups, - . -<br />
plates, forks, napkins, punchbowl and<br />
$ tablecloth.. .and to Dorothy Foster for *arch Q :the *tiw d for 1816, natural<br />
adop* not dvoab parents<br />
~turrt<br />
the- lovely floral centerpiece!'<br />
RQsn plmd m 1d in In# for minw childnn a minon<br />
Arizona Republic article which appeared<br />
on Mother's Day. We shared the page<br />
with Supreme Court Justice Sandra<br />
0' ~onner.<br />
$ diganization helps adoptees I<br />
aiT' G i h<br />
prrenb W ~I-<br />
hl r F ?enis newspaper mking other rurchinlr for nmturd paten(.. Coun.<br />
Ft dolt adoplnn to mnlael her. wling k rvailable in mlnm, mnd a<br />
I<br />
&in that gmthcrin(, &rmh fl~.ild lcen dbcumlon parp I* held mch<br />
'<br />
InL'ik fmwl (oder id-, SU@ month.<br />
rnd'widellnn (o peglo wnrdrint for With membcnhlp in the Ametian<br />
2 thd i nml~tt~l parents.<br />
Adoption Cmm, a mrliUon of<br />
Sbca lhml fin1 mceUnl in May grwp in the wunlry that wnnl (o<br />
I yorn wo, the lriwb hen make rdopUon prmduwn mamopen,<br />
ml@inad non.prnR1 mhlur, memhcr. md pnrtIrlluUm in the lnlcrnmllnnml<br />
mhip'ham gmwn (o 185 snd then have Bmmdex fbvnlnn Wglsty, %arch<br />
I b& 199 reunlona of edo~tta and offen itn rnemhrn (whnicnl 88 nil sc<br />
I:<br />
i'<br />
&a,& meetn the mond Thunday For infirmallon on Ute uroug, rrib<br />
of pry mnnlh. The membcnhlp fee to &arch <strong>Triad</strong>, P.0, nox 1432,<br />
lll.idulln, hut the nrgani7alinn don DRS.9702hlwren norm and 3 p.m.<br />
-1<br />
Mesa Tribune article on Sunday, May 29th,<br />
1st page coverage! in $16 per ycnr. Meelinp ore opcn to Ulchfitld Park. Ariz. 8S.140, or phone<br />
A surprise mention on channel 10 - CBS.<br />
People heard it and called!!<br />
Panels-Communi ty Involvement<br />
I.<br />
- -. ... -,Ah=<br />
May 10 - Nurses panel - thru Diane ~ckstein<br />
at County Hospital. Audrey Kreft and Joellen Osman.<br />
May 17 I- D.E.S. - Jim McDonald and Audrey Kreft.<br />
May 19 - D.E.S.<br />
May 31 - D.E.S.<br />
- Maurice Trager and Krista Johnson<br />
- Krista Johnson<br />
Thank you <strong>Search</strong> members for helping to educate the public.<br />
Library news<br />
New book - Eternal Inspirations A True Story on Adoption by E. Lynn Giddens.<br />
Overdue books - Suzi Gay (4-83) and Susan Caudill (4-83). 'If you checked out<br />
books last month please remember to return them this month.<br />
Board Highlights<br />
Diane Eckstein will no longer be able to lead our post reunion discussion group.<br />
Jim McDonald and Dorothy Foster have agreed to work with this group and Helen Leech<br />
will take charge of the June group session. A thank you card was sent to Diane,<br />
which in only a very small way says thanks for all the time and effort she has<br />
given to us monthly!<br />
Expansion of our publicity effort was discussed and the Board voted to allow<br />
Ann Mehrtens to use $200 to purchase advertising space.<br />
We were asked to host the American Adoption Congress Region 9 Regional Meeting<br />
this fall and the Board voted to do so. The annual Region 9 meeting was held<br />
in Columbus, Ohio during the National Conference and the members voted to have<br />
the Regional Meeting here in October. Time and place and program will be<br />
announced at a later date.<br />
Karen Tinkham was reappointed Executive Director, which must be done yearly per<br />
our By-Laws.<br />
We voted to pay Lorraine Kazmier's registration fee for the AAC Conference. We<br />
also paid for the handout to be used by Lorraine and Lynne Hellmers during their<br />
pane1 regarding our teen - adoptive parent group.<br />
Completed <strong>Search</strong>es/Reunions/Updates<br />
Jim McDonald has spoken with his father in Colorado and has also received a<br />
letter and photos. We will hear this positive story in July when Jim has<br />
completed his summer school courses at A.S.U.<br />
Helen Leech (and Frank too) met her granddaughter in Minnesota and promises<br />
to bring all nine rolls of developed film!!!
Joyce Bouche had a fabulous reunion with her mother in Seattle. She was given<br />
her great grandmother's watch and found she shared many traits with her mother<br />
We anxiously await photos, details and even a report from husband Frank!<br />
Halene Petterson has found her birthmother in the southern ~alifornia area<br />
and has been warmly received. She and her husband were to go theta'for<br />
Memorial Day Weekend. We enjoyed having Helene's adoptive mom as a guest<br />
last month!<br />
Cheryl Meyers shared her reunion details last month. The portrait Cheryl shared<br />
of her deceased mother showed such a likeness to Cheryl. ~elatives on the<br />
maternal side had asked to adopt Cheryl and her brother, but the courts refused<br />
this request. Cheryl met aunts, uncles, cousins and her grandmother when she<br />
travelled East for her sister Is wedding.<br />
Elaine Hamilton has been searching for her father's family and has located<br />
relatives in the East. They will be going East soon and hope to meet and<br />
perhaps learn more about the grandmother and mother.<br />
Deb Weitz of Tucson was reunited with her mother after many years of searching.<br />
Her 10 page letter conveys much excitement, some of which we must share,..,<br />
Penna. was difficult about giving Deb information, but her persistance won out.<br />
Her birthmother contacted the lawyers the same year Deb began her search, her<br />
mother was told she had died as a child of leukemia. Deb followed many leads<br />
but the productive one.was the obit found in the Pa library. It listed her<br />
tnother's married name and address in California. I wish all searching adoptees<br />
could be as lucky as I am. My birthmother and I became very close in the time<br />
I spent with her. We realize we are both very lucky. Especittlly me, as I have<br />
two mothers that love me very very much.<br />
Karen Tinkham found distant cousins in Denmark last summer. She has been busy<br />
trying to trace that line of the family tree back through Denmark to Germany<br />
and then to Holland. The surname is most unusual and she found one listing in<br />
the Phoenix phone book. -p careful call was made, more research was done and<br />
it was discovered thatsreat grandparents were brother and sister. Cautious<br />
contact will be made with Iowa relatives.<br />
The LDS Library in Mesa has the 1900 Soundex and Census on microfilm.<br />
can trace your family back that far this tool is a tremendious help.<br />
possible to check surnames by state because of the Soundex.<br />
If you<br />
It is<br />
You must see it to believe it!! The ISC Calendar of Adoption Fantasy/Reality<br />
1984 is now available. We will have a copy at our meeting. Monthly fun photos<br />
include the social worker, the adoptive parents, the chosen child, confidentiality,<br />
the birthmother, the adopted, child, the birthfather, sealed records, good cause<br />
(showing Judge Knott A. Chance) and more. The calendars may be purchased<br />
directly from ISC for $5 at P.O. Box 10192 Costa Mesa, Ca 92627. Or we may<br />
purchase 10 or more at a discount price of $4.<br />
We were very pleased to receive a letter from Peg Brenner, Editor of the AAC<br />
National Newsletter. She asked us to share how we had "survived" as a group.<br />
Only six groups nationally wef%sked to participate in this series which will<br />
be featured in the National Newsletter. We were honored to be included.<br />
Do you have cable? If so keep your eyes peeled €or the show "Let's Talk About<br />
It" with Dr. Patricia A. Mitchell. Ann Mehrtens and Jan Deahl will be taping<br />
the half hour show on June 9th and the program will air several weeks later,<br />
exact date ucknown. The show appears on Storer Cable, channel 24 between 3pm<br />
and 9pm locally.<br />
We now have 69 books in our library, plus tapes from several national conferences,<br />
excellent articles, newsletters from across the country. Do you ever take the<br />
time to check out what we have available to you as a paid member? This collection<br />
is a result of our purchases and donations made by our members. This is what<br />
we have., ,<br />
The August Stranger<br />
Lost and Found (2)<br />
Twice Born (4)<br />
The Baby Brokers<br />
Jody<br />
A Time To <strong>Search</strong>
Chosen Child<br />
<strong>Search</strong> Aftermath & Adjustments<br />
The Wayward Winds<br />
Innocent Blood<br />
The Adoption <strong>Search</strong>book (2)<br />
orphan Voyage<br />
Adoptive Kinshie<br />
They Came to Stay<br />
Kim - A Gift From Viet Nam<br />
- 19 Steps Up The Mountain<br />
Children of Hope<br />
A Member of the Family<br />
The Slow Awakening<br />
Tenth Month<br />
What Now (5)<br />
California Legislature<br />
--<br />
Finding My Father (2)<br />
Orphan Train<br />
Sisters & strangers<br />
Adopted Canadian <strong>Search</strong> Guide<br />
Birthmark<br />
<strong>Search</strong> for Anna Fisher (2)<br />
Mother Where Are You?<br />
I Am Still Me (3)<br />
. and -- thparents<br />
searching in California<br />
<strong>Search</strong>ing in Florida<br />
Once Removed - Voices From<br />
Death by Adoption<br />
What Kind of Love is This7<br />
Dialogue For Understanding<br />
One Against the Storm<br />
<<br />
Inside .the Adoption Triangle<br />
You have a choice of 19 different tapes from the 1980, 1981 and 1982 AAC National<br />
Conference. Other items in the library include AAC By-Laws, legislative info<br />
from Joe Harrington, genetic couneeling pamphlets, the Birthparent~~Right To Know,<br />
Adoption in America (Congress), An Open Letter to Adoptive Parents, Why Did My<br />
Birthmother Reject Me', and others. We provide this library for you, use it!<br />
National News<br />
The Southeast Regional Conference of the AAC will be held Sept 23, 24 and 25th<br />
at the Daytona Hilton, Daytona Beach, Florida. Speakers will include<br />
Diana Brown, Susan Darke, Sandra Musser and Mary Jo RiLlera. For more details<br />
write Pam Lawrence 490 W. New York Ave., Orange City, Fla 32763.<br />
The Adoption Awareness Center of Lutheran Social Service of Texas is<br />
announcing A National Adoption Conference to be held at the Hyatt Regency<br />
in Sen Antonio, Texas September 12 and 13th. More details to come.<br />
Red, white and blue bumper stickers are being soLd by Juliane N. MiLLer<br />
P.O. Box 202263 Dallas, Tx 75220. Price $1.50 plus a large self addressed<br />
stamped envelope. The sticker says - THE SEARCH IS OVER.<br />
The 1983 National Jewish Seminar in Gensalogy will be held July 31 to<br />
August 4 at the Ramada Inn in Beverly Hills, California. If you want more<br />
info write to JGS Summer Seminar P.O. Box 25245 Los Angeles, Ca 90025.<br />
Recommended reading - Why Did My Birthmother Reject Me? by Carole Anderson<br />
of CUB (Concerned United ~Lrthparents). Send $1 to CUB 595 Central Avenue<br />
Dover, N.H. 03820.<br />
Linda Cannon Burgess, author of the book The Art of Adoption and the past<br />
Vice-President of the MC, was the speaker at the Peoria, Illinois Florence<br />
Crittenton tlome which was celebrating its 81st annual meeting. The newspaper<br />
covered this and the article was titled, "Adoption expert knocks secrecy in<br />
proceedings." Excellent quotes. Thanks for sharing Gail Carmack!<br />
from AISIColorado<br />
A new group will be forming soon in Greeley, Joan Whittaker, an adul~: adoptee,<br />
hopes to formalize the group this fall. Her address is P.O. Box 372<br />
Ft. Lupton, Co 80621. 1ncl"dc a SASE.<br />
3(15
from Adoptees' Birthrights Connnittee/Lafayette. La.<br />
kight is right even if everyone is against it.<br />
Wrong is wrong even if everyone is for it.<br />
The Louisiana State Legislature is now in its regular session. No bills<br />
pertinent to adoption records, as of now, are scheduled to be introduced. And<br />
why should any be introduced? The State is still attempting to implement the<br />
State Registry the Legislature deemed imperative and vital to the growing<br />
community of adoptees and birthparents and adoptive parents who wish answers.<br />
One year after the passage of the Registry, the bureaucratic red tape is still<br />
stuck on how to implement the complex program. While the DHHR nnd the State<br />
mull over their self-made tangle, A.B.C. continues its high success rate in<br />
.reunions and counselling.<br />
ABC will sponsor the AI\C Regional Conference August 12 through 14th<br />
inLake Charles, La. For more info write to Ethelyn Leger P.O. Box 6175<br />
Lake Charles, La 70606,<br />
Lutheran Social Services in Sen Antonio is involved in open adoption.<br />
235 children were adopted through that agency in 1982. Sixty percent of<br />
those placements were open.<br />
from Orphan Vovage of Florida/JacksonviLLe<br />
Does Your Checking Account Balance?<br />
I'm a terrible mathematician! I absolutely dread balancing my checkbook each<br />
month. Fortunately I do understand mough math to know that if I intend to keep<br />
a checking account that I can't write checks for more money than I deposit<br />
into my bank account. Very simply put - YOU NEED TO PUT IN AT LEAST AS ElUCH<br />
AS YOU TAKE OUT!<br />
Our searches are a type of joint checking account for searchers. Our search<br />
groups and search consultants are our bank accounts and once we join most of us<br />
immediately start making withdrawals-if knowledge, time, compassion, enthusiasm,<br />
expertise and empathy.<br />
The problem arises when so many people make huge withdrawals without ever putting<br />
anything (beyond their first year's monetary dues) back into our account. Unfortunately,<br />
that's no way to keep the account operational for other searchers<br />
who are yet to come. We need your contributions of - attendance at meetings<br />
(even after your search is completed.) We need your help with projects...<br />
with the newsletter...supporting and helping others in search, with writing<br />
Letters to our legislators, to magazines, newspapers and T.V. shows. And yes,<br />
we need you to contribute money. How about continuing to pay your yearly dues<br />
even after your search is completed so that we can continue to operate.<br />
We re here to help each other! Your help is needlid! Isn't it about time to make<br />
your account balance?<br />
also from Or~han Voyage of FLorida/Jacksonville<br />
The National Committee for Adoption is an organization with clout that opposes<br />
much of what our search groups stand for. In one of their recent newsletters<br />
that urged members to object to T.V. shows like Donahue or news and magazine<br />
articles that publicize open adoptions, opening records, etc. A direct quote<br />
from them, "Only by entering the active debate on these issues, by demanding<br />
fair and factual coverage, by having people who represent our reasonable views<br />
agree to talk and appear in the medin, can we expect to offset the emotional<br />
appeal of the search groups or the dangerous ideas on adoption and maternity<br />
care being advanced by some agencies. 1'<br />
This can work both ways - take time to write to editors, newspapers, to<br />
magazines, radio and T.V, shows each time you see or hear something that concerns<br />
the adoption process and our searches. We need to make our voices heard.<br />
**>'&***<br />
People June 13, 1983 issue<br />
page 47 - "Baby Sellers or Sisters of Mercy? Surrogate Mothers Give<br />
Birth to a Legal debate.<br />
You must have a strong stomach to read this article. The quotes are<br />
unreal and just beg for a letter to the editor. READ IT!!<br />
***<br />
A very very special lady celebrates her birthday on June 23rd, Emma Vilardi.<br />
This wonderful women provides our group and groups across the U.S. and the<br />
World the International Soundex Reunion Registry. I think we should flood her<br />
P.O. Box 2312 Carson City, Nevada 89702 with special wishes! Do your part!!
June 1983 iesue includes a focus on the family.<br />
A salute to a special group of people...<br />
Grandparen ta<br />
Grandparents occupy a special place in the<br />
territory of the heart. Our parents' parents,<br />
they provide a context for our lives, an intimate<br />
touch of history. In them we see evidence of our<br />
family's past and implications of our own future.<br />
Grandparents are proof of family continuity,<br />
family progress - human progress.<br />
For grandchildren (and that means all of us)<br />
grandparents are pioneers. They have had all<br />
sorts of adventures as trailblazers in the<br />
family frontier. What we call history, they call<br />
memory, When they share memories, they fuse their<br />
lives with ours, imparting wisdom, guidance,<br />
and affection in the process.<br />
Some cultures revere grandparents more than<br />
others, 6ut everywhere - from Biloxi to<br />
Bombay - grandparents are valuable resources.<br />
They teach us about the past. They show us what<br />
will happen. They explain the way things are.<br />
And when he is holding a grandparent's hand,<br />
a child is safe against the whole world,<br />
AAC News<br />
The National Conference was held in Columbus,<br />
Ohio. We look forward to hearing highlights<br />
from both Lorraine Kazmier and Lynne Hellmers.<br />
The membership elected 3 Directors at Large<br />
for the National Board including Dirck Brown,<br />
Kathy Silber and Karen Tinkham, The new<br />
Officers and National Board include:<br />
President - Sophie Elvert - Washington<br />
Vice-Pres.-<br />
Linda Lincoln - Illinois<br />
Secretary - Charlotte Hood - Washington<br />
Treasurer - Dirck Brown - Ohio (as of Aug 1)<br />
I<br />
"Open<br />
We're AAC<br />
Won't You Join Us?<br />
Whrlir(h.MC1<br />
A oorlltlon of indtvlduatr md group<br />
rcnnr North America who cam about mrLhg<br />
daptkr, mom open.<br />
An rdrmmledgml of the nuny pwpk<br />
Mo, on their own ar In groups. M wofkhg<br />
bward Rh god In a nrMy of myr.<br />
A marnr of educating aunehm about thh<br />
and a chmml through whkh we cur educate<br />
Ihe root of the doption mmunlty and the<br />
general public.<br />
An opportunity for group, large and<br />
amall, to learn from each other, and for<br />
Indivldurlo, whether In a group or not. to<br />
.conned up with the largor nelworlr.<br />
Horr t.n yw jok MCt<br />
Qroupr em become Afliilate Organize<br />
tbno ($25) or Bustalning Afnlirte Olpanlzrlkna<br />
($100). Thlr doa not make lhair own mernban<br />
lndlvlduat Memben ol the MC.<br />
lndlvldualo em kcorno lndlvldurl Mem<br />
brro ($lo), Surtoinlng lndlvldurl Memben<br />
($20), or Llk Individual Mdmben ($150).<br />
Check8 8hould be Ndo out to "Amerken<br />
Adoptlon congrsu" mnd mribd with the form<br />
mow (a:<br />
MC<br />
C/O Holdl Tmybr, Tnluru<br />
57s H- law<br />
Thwund Oak#, CA @la0<br />
Mombam wlll receivo M C Publlcrlionr and<br />
will be informed of AAC rclivlty withln their<br />
reglono.<br />
MindslOpen Records"<br />
NmotPY.mwOroup<br />
Uallhg A.ddm:<br />
I<br />
Directors at Large:<br />
Sandra Musser - Florida<br />
Kathy Silber - Texas<br />
Linda Cannon Burgess - Washington D.C.<br />
Karen Tinkham - Arizona<br />
T w of Umb.nhin In*.<br />
($14 Sv.l.ining Indk.<br />
n24 - 1110 Indh. 0154 - Ammrtr Org. (W)<br />
- WIW. ~rg. latm -<br />
Op(lorul: If n MklduaI, chch M ut.gorm t(h* qpy.<br />
MoClU - Mop(CI. Rnc. 'Eunhpt. -<br />
Regional Directors from 9 U.S. Regions<br />
Regional Director from LO - Canada<br />
Region 9 had elections also and reelected Pat Sanders as our Regional Director!!<br />
Martin Brandfon is alternate director. GayLe Beckstead was elected Newsletter<br />
Editor and Carol Longoria was reelected as secretary -treasurer. Our Region<br />
has the most members of any region in the AAC and Pat Sanders sllould be given<br />
credit for excellent promotion of the goals of the AAC.<br />
Future National Conferences - Seattle (1984), Florida (1985), Chicago (1986)<br />
and Boston (1987).<br />
Plan to attend our Regional Conference this October and learn more about the<br />
AAC first hand. We think you'll be most impressed with the dedication<br />
of those involved.
Adele Jarnes ddry dah~nh/ Eag'~ /vny 19.3s I/OI IS A.H )L<br />
Recruiting love for children without homes<br />
A pl~otnpraph of a mdher and son<br />
hmps on ~r buncun bard wn<br />
Mck Jams's desk. A cspwn undermath<br />
reeds "I dldn'l plve hlm Mrth.<br />
b 1 gave hkn Me. Mopl a c11lM.<br />
A's as heauUful as hsv(ng a ba ."<br />
WhUKpMosophykhh 2<br />
Met's vohmlur work fw lhe Ulack<br />
ChUd Mvaalc gloup. whlch she<br />
cslabiishcd In Marlcopa Cwnfy. The<br />
proup rccrum qualined black famllln<br />
lo kcomc forlcr a adopUrc palenb.<br />
~ck. dam pnxemlng omcn<br />
nd knd q'stenu snalyn, was mccntly<br />
rwncd 8 "Sumtdj la '83," slaw<br />
wkh m a l other prominelil M-<br />
mans, by ANma LII ,'.!I megahe<br />
lor her w k WiUl UV gmup.<br />
Mek becnlne hvokd In !JK po-<br />
gram beCauX she bell~n lhal<br />
homeku children should be ralscd In<br />
lheh ow echnk background% and<br />
Iuls gmemmenlal and prhMe a+-<br />
Uar sgmcks arcn'l nhmya ell&<br />
In hhllllng lhal pl.<br />
'We adwxnle fa all black chlldrrn.<br />
butwefocu$onihoxwhomh<br />
Ihe scsle fder carc syslem:. Mek<br />
uplalned. 'We've found lhnc Is<br />
a greal mlscmceptlon atcul adoplbn.<br />
Pcopk bellen ihy haw lo ow a<br />
home, have I bc of money, and many<br />
aher requlremcms. whlch uen'l tnrr:'<br />
h Mder I0 ItC~ll bbck famllkl.<br />
Mek's gmup diucmlnaln Inlorma-<br />
Ucm lhrwgh klc(evlh and radio<br />
sdvtdxrncnll, wspaper arlkka.<br />
wwdd.m4 and ~bpUon krUvals.<br />
Thc most successful vehlcle Is<br />
through UV churches. Mek<br />
uplalned.<br />
When lhe group flnds a hlerested<br />
fatnity. I( conbar lhc Depnrcmenl<br />
of Economlc SCCUIIIY. The group UKn<br />
folbvo UV adqm process through<br />
In make wlc the lmnliy and cMld<br />
mc sealed falrly.<br />
&k's gmup also assld lhe sdop(-<br />
hg famRy WIUI Lhe muh& d<br />
papmk necessary fa tfte edoWn.<br />
The adoption process 11 a wrbus<br />
maltel, om ihM 14Ukc18 QIe*<br />
deal of understnndll~ and cansellng<br />
(Drn&ecmnhUrchedforctr*ten)<br />
and adopUve famliy ore compaUbk.<br />
Bcfm sdoptbn Lakes pbce. Ur<br />
whvcate group wakr wllh lhr ad*<br />
Ing famllles, enplalnlng whal to<br />
upcd horn the chlld.<br />
"Msny -1 theat losrcr cNMm have<br />
probkms." upblncd Mck. "MoU<br />
d (hem hmc k n tekm from lhclr<br />
Ilodlcrlly \i..lls lhc homo d<br />
orlglnal f~~llles becallse of some<br />
fonn 01 abuse. and ale lraunlallled by<br />
havtng lo deal wllh Ulal nl such an<br />
tsrkj e ~t We tspldn $0 \he nnu<br />
famGy nol lo upeci a lo1 oul of llic<br />
chlld lmmcdlalcty.<br />
"They need Utnc lo seltle lnlo ltlelr<br />
nw cnvtronmcnl. arld learn lo Vusl<br />
dxnorpamu.M\mUlCcM<br />
hm bccn bour~ced flan lamlty<br />
to famlty belore being adopted. and<br />
don't cxjwa \hh ncu mnlonmcn\<br />
lo k any dlllercnl."<br />
The group alw prwldes a 24.hour<br />
hdne la Ule famiHes.<br />
M e atr nbou( 200 hlnck children<br />
in me slates lmta care ryslcm.<br />
Mek up(shcd, n( 01 *h art<br />
Jmd 7 wars dd and older. But. she<br />
I~suu&nleaoylhkl.~..l<br />
lac h he i*acc.<br />
men1 d fmlcr children uhn ad@e<br />
familler<br />
fhlc d Uu dlfncult ayxd, d the<br />
Job h IKII bnomlng machcd lo<br />
Iht loslcr chikken. A&4e rrplnlnd.<br />
"SaneUmcs ihy come up lo yw and<br />
ark 'do you wan1 lo ado# me.' and<br />
you )U%t wam lo q. Vm ntuay, so<br />
ham wt~m n successful adopUan Is<br />
mmpkl~."<br />
&lc was a member ol a dmilsr<br />
group in Indiana IM semnl ycars.<br />
belole mwtng lo Ph~cnL. Wlnn d~c<br />
rrshcdLherrvarmUhhhw<br />
-<br />
group In he county. shr erlabl~shcd<br />
me. n* majorlfy d the wlunlurs<br />
aeVylcyBMkm.*rddlhe<br />
group k ahap Wng IM !we vd.<br />
hycoc hlcreSd h paad.<br />
paUng may conlad Mck.<br />
She Is also In hcr lhlrd year as<br />
chnlfpcfuw, la a Supfeme Cowl Fos.<br />
ccr Cue RNIHl Bosrd. The bond.<br />
also a wlunlccr gwp. revkurs COlCs<br />
monthly for lhe Slale Suprcme<br />
Cwfl and mnkn recommendnUons<br />
vheUwr a child ~hould rtmaln in<br />
a foslcr hc, be returned lo hls or<br />
her parrnlr. or consldercd for<br />
adoplir,,~<br />
k. p~e%ldtPn d \hc Black ClllM<br />
Mvaatc group. Mek pracUces whnl<br />
she pfeachra 7he phmpaph *)kh<br />
hangs on her bullelln bonrd Is d<br />
hersell end her son, who she sdopled<br />
uhmhc:~~14~dd."&nC-<br />
Umer he asks me why I sdotncd<br />
hlm, arid I rrll hlm. 1 boked al all lhc<br />
*en ad you're er mc 1 PkM<br />
because yw'le w spcclal.'"<br />
Adoption-advocacy group forms in Valley<br />
Dy krL.n v.(<br />
The I'hwnls Gmartt*<br />
Whrn uh<br />
Jane RucU tfkd to<br />
o, a h<br />
adhpt an older child 30 ymrn<br />
WB bdd. "You don't ned m a7<br />
option<br />
~lmry, vmr nerd a pnyrhialrinl."<br />
Nl~rmal p p k vurbd infanta, ihc<br />
wAr inlormrd.<br />
Ccr.ld Corn erscutivr director d<br />
thr ndn tion.avoe oqaniution<br />
RuwII f abr fnundx lovn to bll<br />
that &ry and then nport that ;he<br />
fn~mu ncmn nlnr t d r d in 1-<br />
Inn ML one but thrm "unadophb'7<br />
e"<br />
children.<br />
'l~ukll'a lndi it ma the number "l~ry -dnr what thry hid<br />
I<br />
rmnl."<br />
d chlldren worlgid; who wen eilhcr<br />
lahrlrd unadnphble or who Ian.<br />
The ntigm d fmbr nm han Ln k<br />
liahnl in ionto ern u afln yru<br />
mmoved. he uM, "ad hen's dl<br />
tnpid her to found ,T AIP.<br />
kindn d ~Upuu.''<br />
Fahr chiMrsn -tin(( lunch nl<br />
WAIF promom public education<br />
~hml dbn pry rith differen1 mlod<br />
rbnut Tmhr w e and adoption md d r ihm olhar children, he @a.<br />
hns lnhbitd eslmrively in Conp~<br />
plaid.<br />
Inr fwhr children's righb.<br />
"No ms wsnta tn stick out md k<br />
F5 rrant meeti at Pardbe dVImnt, m m a ti& mn't eat<br />
Va rey Cnuntry club, TIM a I 60 ~ r lunch." i ~<br />
nans met to orgmiu I Id rhapbr d When (bs &od phna r field kip<br />
WAIF, which hu chaphn in wen d osnda ham r mimion dip, nnt<br />
other rillen.<br />
only dcm Lhc ch P; d'a fabr p n t<br />
Or~mirin~ the Arirona cha ler ur<br />
Judy Walkinn nnd Jiunne Go dwaler,<br />
dnu hbr nl Arimna'n Stn. Rvry<br />
~~~aanter.<br />
H~narll addrnenl thc pup, u nll<br />
M Cnrnr~, who flew in lmm the New<br />
Ynrk City hrndqunrten.<br />
WAIF in not an adoption yency,<br />
Corner erplainrd brfort \he rnwtiny.<br />
It wruka with r~cntim (a promote ik<br />
intrrrrlw of hnrnrlru children and Lo<br />
wl II~ ndl~pligln partin whor prr.<br />
npcclivr ndnptive pnrrnln nnd rhil.<br />
drrn mn rnr*r.l rncl~nllv.<br />
1I11rwll mil. \\'nil n "mm~lhpirre."<br />
P<br />
"Fmler carc in aholulely ncuermry Chrnrr aaid nhn111 91, prmnt 01 dren 0111 nf l~wlcr care. In add lo the<br />
and bellrr than (he old orl~hnnn~es." that chilrlrtn hnvr hrcn adopted. pnnl nlrid~~p~al~lr children.<br />
rk told % Cnrrrfr in sn mrlitr Thr rn~ntry'r pnjr mnnmic ai111n. WAIF in rradv, hr noid,<br />
inhruiew. "nu1 kid,, grow u<br />
' Lion hnr IIII~ damprnrd nrrntn'dcnire *q+re<br />
ayrtcm, until lhey'rr 18, and l ! cn in lhcy lhr'<br />
don.( rllmFc~ with lnr81<br />
fil1nl)l. hill hn~ f rroullhl more ntla~ptinn n r~~lirfi,' hr erl~lnincd,<br />
go out on their own, nnd thry hnvr no childrrtr inln thr syrlrnl. Cr~rnrr finid, 01,~l wr wnr[wi;h 1hprn.*<br />
pnrenln.<br />
IIr nlho er icrlc Arirwn Srnnlc !\ill In 2R ymrn thal brrn<br />
"Our motto ir to haw a prmnrnl, 1114. whirk will pr~~\.icIr nrl~lili~~n~l<br />
bvin~ home for every child," Ruwcll Kmllndr rllr lrrminrlirlnnlurnl<br />
rxistc~~rc, hltmr~l hnvc hrrn lnl~tld<br />
pnrnl,s nn,, ml,r mnre l11r :lli,lXl(t el~ildrtn. t:nrnrr. ~ivw ihr<br />
1111lk II~ Ihr rrrdil In IIIIY.FII.<br />
uM, ddily:<br />
"The children hamn't oi a voia.<br />
We mv that we anrak for dl e vnimlru<br />
...- ~<br />
Chlldrrn vho linkr in lwtcr ure<br />
kin to feet nrcofni ctw. Caner mid.<br />
I<br />
have to ai(n, bul dtcn hia cueworker<br />
md a jtdgr.<br />
"ny thri time, the lield trip in<br />
over," Corm wid.<br />
Omr Ariznnn hu a WAIF rhaplrr.<br />
mluntrcn will p h<br />
Walkinn mid.<br />
P<br />
Ldoplhn partin.<br />
Cornrz el laid that at such<br />
partin. WAI ' wrka with adoption<br />
qencim who brina oldrr and hrndi.<br />
capped children Lo an "entrrvnpnnu"<br />
attcndcd by ulrbritin and prlnprc.<br />
live pawn& A\ nne psrtv in Cnlllc?r.<br />
nia. 1.~100 parrnh rhuwd up In mrrl<br />
52 lmlrr childrrn.<br />
A CIII1,D'S REAL I\fO?'IIER<br />
01ir crtlo/~frtf fi~lc-ycle~r-oltlcltrrr~~lrfc~r erskc,tl ~rtc. 11.1ro irrr rcrrl<br />
r~r~~rltc~r il.trs. 1lc.r ~~rorltcr is rrry .ci.t~rc'r-rrcc clccccg/~tcr's fitrctrr<br />
/ crtl.vlt*cr III~ eli~~c~lrf~~r'.~ c/tr~.~~iott:)<br />
l*orirr ~IIIII~.<br />
IIIIII~<br />
II i~ pcrfcctly nor~tiitl for yo~~r<br />
tlitupltlcr lo bc curious nboul<br />
~lic idcttlity of hcr bicllogicitl nlothcr. Ilotv she will rcnct<br />
u~licrt she Icill-ns nho~rt her special situittion will lnrpcly<br />
dcpcnd on how you nnd your sister handle the disclo-<br />
-....-<br />
>LII E.<br />
398 dortl~~<br />
I'nl n\vnre that this convcrsi~tion with your dnll~hler<br />
isn't going lo be an casy one. hut il won't beconic any<br />
cnsicr with lirirc. On \lie coljtrilry, if you plrt disclosure off<br />
for loo lonp, llic cliild mily rcscnl the fncl Illnl she was no1<br />
tnld toonct-. In i~ddilion, in this case lhcse is n very rciil risk<br />
111nt chc \rill bc told lhc 1r11lh by soniconc clsc.<br />
Yolrr sillrntinn is n complicated one so hp no mc:lns fccl<br />
----<br />
c~ill~;~~ I.:ICSC~! if YOII want to scck s o l p~~'Tcssinniil<br />
~ ~ ~ counacting<br />
to 1lci11 will1 it. I rcgil~tl vcry positi\'e lhnl yollr<br />
il ;IS<br />
siclcr i< yollr tlrn~glltcr's h~voritc ilulll i111d 111il1 n SlrOllg.<br />
I~ci~lll~)' l;cltitl exists i,c(\vccrt Iltcrli. W'hill Illis cillt niciln is<br />
11i11l the cliil~l will grow II~<br />
\viIh 1~11 role 1ttl111cI% in licr<br />
lili.-\v~~lnclt slic lo\,cs \,cry IIIIIL'~ itntl whit love hcr. It i~<br />
i~ttpo~ti~t~t. IIII\\~CVC~,<br />
111i11 Y I. di~t~pht~~. ~III~WS IICYOIIII<br />
ttr:~c yc~ir nrc rllc ~i~(irllcr who will r:~isc hcr 11nd he<br />
rccpcinsil~lc fclr her l~n~il SIIC is 111111iIt111.<br />
I
SEARCH ASSISTANTS<br />
Jan Deahl 841-7693<br />
JoAnne Lee 247-2498<br />
(evenings & Sat)<br />
Karen Tinkhnm 935-9702<br />
(9a.m. to Noon)<br />
Ann Mehrtens 953-3256<br />
Maurice Trager 967-7641<br />
Barb Wodrich 938-2597<br />
or 937-5549<br />
Please be considerate when<br />
calling for search help.<br />
we ask that you observe<br />
the hours mentioned above<br />
and don't call during dinner!<br />
Thanks! l<br />
CARING NUMBERS<br />
Dorothy Foster 969-6042<br />
~irth~arent - Adoptee<br />
V i Pierce 972-3483<br />
Birthparent<br />
Lorraine Kazmier 838-4270<br />
Adoptive Parents<br />
Lynne Hellmers 997.2557<br />
Teen Rap Group<br />
Fairy Mae McKiernan 944-4729<br />
Adoptive Parent Class<br />
Diane Eckstein 277-7138<br />
Individual & Family<br />
Counseling<br />
If your newsletter is checked here, it<br />
.<br />
is time for you to renew<br />
We thank you for your support this last<br />
year and hope you will continue to be part<br />
of our membership. Please send your $15<br />
($7.50 for out-of-town people who want only<br />
the newsletter) check to Jim McDonald<br />
4327 W, Carol Ave., Glendale, Az 85302.<br />
Newsletter labels are printed by the<br />
1st of the next month, so please respond<br />
by then. Thanks!<br />
I<br />
-<br />
-<br />
Statlonm:<br />
I<br />
3019 E. Sc~uthern Ave.<br />
WVK.TV, Chnnnel 3 Ph~enix, Ark. 85040<br />
(ARC) 243-:\333<br />
DelborL Lewln, genernl mnn. Network@:<br />
sgcr<br />
AI3C<br />
3435 N. 18th SL 2040 Avenue ol the Slnrn<br />
Phtmnix, Ariz. 85016 Century City, Cnlil. DO(I:lR<br />
266.569 1 CRS<br />
KPHO.TV, Chnnnol h Telcvisitrn City<br />
(Indepenrlent<br />
7800 Rcvcrly Hlvd.<br />
Richerd DeAngelia, general I,on Angelen. Cnlil. MKI:II)<br />
mnnnger<br />
NUC<br />
4016 N. Rlnck Cnnyun 3lHN W. Alnme~ln Avc.<br />
Ph~~nix, Ariz. 85017 Ilurhnnk, Cnlil. 91523<br />
2G4-1000<br />
PUS<br />
' KAET.TVl Chnnnel ' 475 L'Enlnnl Pln7n S.W.<br />
(PUS) Wnnhington, D.C. 20024<br />
Rnbert Ellis, ~enernl mnnnger<br />
Arizonn Stab University Cable:<br />
Tempe, Ariz. 85281<br />
Home Dux Ollice<br />
965-3506 Timc & LiCc Building<br />
KTSP-TV, Chnnncl 10 Rockefeller Center<br />
(CBS) New Ynrk, N.Y. 10020<br />
Jack Sander, genernl manager E-SPN<br />
611 W. Adnrns St. ESPN Plnzn<br />
Phoenix, Ariz. 85003 Briatnl, Conn. 013010<br />
257-1234 ARTS<br />
a KIJNX-TV, Chnnnel 12 1330 AVCIIIIC 111 LhL! r\lll~ri~tl~<br />
(NRC) Nrw York, N.Y. 10019<br />
C.E. "I'ep" Cooney. general .'rho Movie Chnnncl<br />
mnnnger<br />
1211 Avencie ol thc Amcricns<br />
P.O. Rox 711<br />
Nrw Ynrk, N.Y. lW:IG<br />
Phoenix, Ariz. 85001<br />
Showtime<br />
267-1212 1211 Aven~~e rif the Amcricns<br />
KNXV-TV, Chnnncl '6 ~ e York, w N.Y. IOO:!~<br />
(Independent)<br />
a Spotlight<br />
Edwin C~~@rahin, R~~~~~~ 2951 28th st,, Suite 2000<br />
mnnnger<br />
3722 E. Chlpman Rond<br />
Snntn Monica, Cnlif. 90505<br />
(213) 460-6488<br />
Phoenix, Ariz. 85040<br />
243-4151 USA<br />
208 Herristown Rond<br />
KP<strong>AZ</strong>-TV' Chnnnel<br />
Glen Rond, N.J. 07452<br />
(TEN)<br />
Phillip Crouch, general man- e WON-TV<br />
ager<br />
2501 Rrndley Place<br />
P.O. Box 5210 Chirngn, 111.60618<br />
Phoenix, Ariz. 86010<br />
Nnahvilla Network<br />
273.1477 2806 Oprylnnd Drive<br />
KTVW-TV, Channel 33 Nnshville, Term. 37214<br />
I (SIN) W'I'BS-TV<br />
- Danny Villnnuevo, gencrnl 1050'rechwnod Drive N.W.<br />
mnnngcr Atlenh, Gn. 30<strong>318</strong><br />
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SEARCH ' TRIAD ' Inc.. . . . . . . . .<br />
' ' -BOX: 1432..<br />
. ,<br />
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Litchf ield Perk, ~rizona '85340<br />
Vol. VIII No. 3<br />
Karen Tinkham<br />
Executive Director<br />
Lorraine - - Kazmier - .<br />
President<br />
I<br />
Policy:<br />
<strong>Search</strong> <strong>Triad</strong> Inc. is an independent, non profit organization<br />
offering a free service of idea exchange, volunteer support<br />
and educational guidelines in the adoption triangle. We are a<br />
member of the American Adoption Congress, a coalition of<br />
individual8 and groups nationwide who support more openess in<br />
adoption.<br />
I'<br />
I,<br />
a<br />
'<br />
NEXT MEETING<br />
We offer an open meeting to adults in search, although we do<br />
not advocate birthparenis searching for minors or minors<br />
searching for birthparents. Counseling is available.<br />
July 14th at 7830 p.m.<br />
A11 saints' Episcopal Church<br />
Manning Hall<br />
6300 North Central Avenue<br />
Phoenix<br />
Executive Board meets at<br />
6r30 p.m.<br />
General meeting with some<br />
exciting reunions. <strong>Search</strong><br />
~ssistance available as well<br />
as rap groups for pre-reunion<br />
and post reunion.<br />
"To forget one's ancestors is to be a brook without<br />
a source, a tree without root."<br />
Birthparents of minor children are<br />
encouraged to s2t in on either of<br />
the rap sessions offered.<br />
-Chinese Proverb<br />
FUTURE MEETINGS<br />
August 11th<br />
September 22nd (4th Thursday - just<br />
this once)<br />
October 13<br />
November 10<br />
December 8<br />
Mark your calendar now so you won't<br />
miss a meeting.<br />
Teen Rap Group - Adoptive Parent<br />
Discussion Grow meets on<br />
Thursday July 2i.<br />
HELP! HELP!! HELP!!! HELP! !I! Do I have your attention7 We need your help!<br />
As we grow in numbers, little problems become big problems. If you change<br />
your address, please take the time to notify us. If your newsletter is<br />
returned to us-we must pay postage. When ybu call a search assistant for<br />
some help, please observe the calling hours! Some husbands sleep during the<br />
day, some of us have youngsters that have a nap time. Be polite, don't call<br />
at dinner time and always ask if this is a good time to talk! Remember, we<br />
are volunteers who care, but we have other responsibilities too. <strong>Search</strong><br />
Assistants give their time freely, all they ask is that you call when you find<br />
to share your news. That is their pay day!!<br />
The meeting date for September was changed because we felt it would be<br />
inappropriate to meet on Rosh Hashanah. All Saints' was not available to<br />
us on the lSth, so we will meet on September 22nd. A newsletter will go<br />
out in mid-September, but not in August.<br />
Thanks to those that sent in articles, cartoons, etc. for the newsletter.<br />
We appreciate your imput. We hope each of you will find something of<br />
interest in the newsletter.<br />
Gold stars go to Jan Deahl and Ann Mehrtens who did a fantastic jab<br />
on the Starer Cable TV Talk Showl Almost 30 minutes of non stop talk!
Nancy Miller joined us in February of this<br />
year- and has Gorked patiently on her search.<br />
She has discovered that her mother died 10 vears<br />
ago. She has spoken with her father, af te;<br />
sending a carefully worded letter. He was<br />
delighted to hear from her, Nancy will share<br />
details at the meeting.<br />
'i ..,w<br />
1 i:k ,..<br />
\ >': ;i;.<br />
Tammie Gainer, a Phoenix born adoptee, also -<br />
Joined us in February. Tammie had more info<br />
than most and carefully followed up all leads.<br />
The important clue was her father's former<br />
employer. Tamie was told her father died in Texas,<br />
The death certificate took time getting her, but this<br />
was the link she needed. She has made contact with<br />
siblings in Texas and her mother in Plorida. A reunion<br />
was to take place in Texas thanks to Tammie's folks who are<br />
flying her there for the occasion. We can't wait to see your<br />
pictures l<br />
A<br />
John Dosch, a birthmother from Tucson, joined us in May. She was encouraged<br />
to update her information. When she contacted her agency, it was discovered that<br />
the adoptive family had also contacted the agency. In very short time a reunion<br />
meeting was arranged between John and her daughter Stacy. John attended her<br />
daughter's graduation a few days later attending the ceremony with the adoptive<br />
parents, and then returning to their home for the graduation party. We are<br />
very excited for all of you and appreciate so much the sensitivity of the<br />
social worker handling this case!<br />
Ann Wittke of Wyoming, an Arizona adoptee, was in Phoenix recently and had a<br />
chance to meet her birthmother for the first time. "It was a warm, special<br />
meeting. She was very understanding and I really felt she was sorry her<br />
situation was so interfering. She never has had a friend to share this with.<br />
Not when it happened, not even now. That must be very hurting for her.<br />
We parted friends. I'<br />
Mike Berdine is in Iowa now meeting siblings and other assorted family<br />
members. You'd better have all your film developed by the 14th Mike!<br />
Gail Carmack has been anxiously waiting for her agency in Peoria, Illinois<br />
to find and make contact with her mother. It finally happened. Gail had to<br />
write a letter and send photos through the agency, She received a letter back<br />
from her birthmother, again through the agency, The letter contained no last<br />
name or address. The contact was positive and Gail feels very comfortable<br />
with the role the agency has played in this reunion.<br />
Susi Gay, a birthmother, has made contact with the agency that placed her<br />
daughter. She has found two wonderful social workers there and contact<br />
has been made wfth the adoptive mother. Hopefully a meeting will happen<br />
soon. Susi has worked very hard to get this far and we applaud her for<br />
never giving up!<br />
Sue Mills found many months ago and was reunited with her mother on Fantasy.<br />
She recently had the chance to meet briefly with her father who was passing<br />
through from Florida on the way to California for his mother's 80th birthday.<br />
Sue found him very comfortable to be with but regretted that his viait was<br />
so short. This Friday Sue and her family fly back to Chicago to meet the rest<br />
of the family1<br />
There will always be new frontiers as long as there is a<br />
single open mind and a willing hand.<br />
Editor's note - trouble with the carbon ribbon this month, so we will put<br />
the National News in the September issue. Sorry but the cloth ribbon is<br />
often extremely hard to read.
Iwutdilk.mta)athi.~tytoMDna~ofthlatsmt<br />
in ths McQti~ man+.' Bhrstiar Progrsn's gr8-a&&rn<br />
clruues. As many of ycu are ahmay -, begLvriFq with the ~sruary 1983<br />
clau aeries, aw nymnt of arr program krludsd rzaehing nw: vs<br />
Lrlrd.dOadult~inauagada-~~~~iuxlfayd<br />
hb~pamuandcnm~hadmimarmstinJlFngm.<br />
D) Lack Of Informatim, Had Oivm It Little lhaqht - 25t<br />
? h m t L ~ f a t h i . ~ ~ n a t t o ~ a . e M d c n t h d a d<br />
~~,httratlmrto&~twmuldtoall~tathf.Msrms E) Carld NX See Hmning In Soarch - 21<br />
fmailim lnl, to mrrsr mi.Monmticn, hrhq art fsellngs, to pmmt<br />
?he<br />
all th das of tho L.U. withart nnkbg My jldgaat. -a<br />
m%t qudm dalt vith a self-aucowant of any pmt-neuim<br />
unrim. this addLtiaml oarrro smpmt wuld halp fanillas to<br />
attitude ehangea. The reaponsen on search wore divided into five<br />
f r l m rmlrPd abarr isman during thair ddld'm graringysus.<br />
cateqariem r<br />
On mpdum m carsfully Cham, iuxl tm-qgmsi~. nYJ uardr<br />
-ti-<br />
-<br />
tnd ban mnitsd vith him birth paeats am a raarLt of a<br />
mrCh Md& o=wrrud after fiM N. birth fimily iuxl thm h had signad up<br />
vith. lunim rqi.uy.<br />
Sam of ax rsfarral ccrmrmtty w M~M am to lvf this nm<br />
!add affect th mecuiry of \ait.ing LulwLive para- - biluther<br />
ma&?& mka th.m fr1 nrps, ar lra, meluEi. Tb tahrhte au<br />
rrult., a, svaluaricn fosm mu onphd by a toLal of B4 puscru ad<br />
Lrlrdd M<br />
clan suiem and bn pst-sdoprfm parenting<br />
grap. 'Ih qwatiam Mt vith thm d par.plceive onvyaj to thm<br />
durbq thd.r -M hm mtrdy and pra and pat-scsrim attituks Md<br />
oaxum. I darbe that this u~~ld mrs+ltu-a a formal survey, bat I<br />
p'd lm htmntd in th malts, ~ l s u .<br />
ThfoUwhqprg.R..rruthranrltsintsblefonn. ltnfix8t<br />
~ d r l t V i t h ~ O f w a r r h ~ t h h e m s u r f y , M t h s<br />
prrslt. u it. nu rarrpaua .em cLA8.ifid imo sk typ. am<br />
-1<br />
w 2) Lthral- llt<br />
(I\ 3) ---lor<br />
\i 5) Srrch-l=or+icn<br />
-<br />
')--,<br />
of mm stldy t&t Yet rbmdled - 7t<br />
6) bb w e Ib aJattcn - 2%<br />
[It .trPlld b addd b r m tht scmr of th p a w stared Wabally<br />
tht Chy sinply OaAM mt rscall \mat w, d A abarr saarch<br />
eing eh.k surfy.3<br />
3.<br />
lln next q-estim dealt with a oe:f-cusesmt of pr+-sessicn searc!j<br />
attiud.~. Ih. reopnnes vsra divided into five cateqoriemr<br />
8) Sara, mt Plmqeahle, Crrranrs - 198<br />
C) Vcry A;prahmsive - 8t<br />
A) Uo Atutude Changs - M<br />
e) mcmamod mien - m<br />
C) Rlt Sons Reauurance - 1BI<br />
D) Fult Great RMsnVarra - 2M<br />
E) oDIp1at.e Poritive Attitud. awqa Or Wa3cbq ltaanb Qr - 13t<br />
nYJnostnxahle mrrlushfraPthars statistics is ths fact that mt<br />
are pstscn mpzt.4 iraeaaed a- fmn hearing &out smrch. No<br />
mts varo rsflsttM Of imxeaMd FrueolrLty hre rathsr ku&md<br />
ability to imk at their attitrrdeo and feelingm iuxl to dual with BaMh as<br />
an iwn with=ut bsmpFng alarnsd. A. tho mtataaat w nude that an<br />
lwxKate avaLuBu Of their fwung. uu cnrial to nakhg the right<br />
dri.icnfathAxPao,ardth~sa~surudmkrrrn<br />
influmm in eithwr dLrcLLn, this mrludm mrt b at la8t ma&mt<br />
-ta.<br />
Ih. m* pwrLicn daalt wLth pnt-mash faalllea'<br />
dinqrerm+ vith th folbdng sca-1<br />
1az-ASr<br />
1 -, tirky, andMth~hqrpofoldwud..<br />
n agreerent, 584 dimagrsaaslt<br />
2. ~rnnoe~x~cnmyadrquscy~ap==t.<br />
18 agreansnt, M disagrsaaslt<br />
3. Part of my child'. id-tity *ch has rDthilq to do with lm.<br />
5n agtssram. a dissgrsaran+<br />
4. Aarriolitythtalladopusnha\ntormadqra.<br />
738 agr-t, 278 disagrwnsnt<br />
ar<br />
CC.<br />
6. A rrallty p face *hrr raF.kq did with tw ut.8 of prmtm.<br />
7m .msrmt, z3 dLrprrnC<br />
8. t& r e v due to mfhishd platiaunirea.<br />
5t<br />
'Ihcrsumdtolmsrmral.~rhiehhalpdtorrak.thisuuim<br />
an qpumtly pitivo aqrrriarr rat- tbn a thrutmiq an. &th<br />
v~uaints--a. m ~ t ~ - m ~ ~ e d ~ ~<br />
warctramcto~.~h. mmf-walwystoanadult-.<br />
Ih.parart.uareablsto.rthshmecinaofth@-rmlaud.<br />
l h u can be a Wthy sipl of raala. Ch of th adcpta wm alm an<br />
parmt and cllrld mlat. m an -H parant's onmn Dcncrrru<br />
that thsy OaAM *h. thdr child to th bWI parrrt., iuxl ttmt thair<br />
cNld might tu davaMted & a m).rrion. matltia at this pint & lrre<br />
kdicau a pradPakrsrra of .srrrh in the qeneml adaptme pqulatim. Ch<br />
strrfydrwdthatmart=hoJavrrdinanartof216%bpmu. Ihmmry<br />
has al- hal qan rsacrd., ywt its t.i6 am cnly egpmrhl by w<br />
psrcancof~ka~tomsm. Wonndemcnrlushabarrfvona<br />
I s r r , ~ ~ i n ~ a b a R t h l r l r l ~ a n d n u y u u c f i r<br />
to be mNd wit* th. hlp of th muu. I wutd alm pDkrr cat<br />
tlmt mmrch is grrarally rh M clam of th pr8-e.- suh, iuxl<br />
p M i o r m u i a u 1 M n l a y a ~ t i m ~ ~ m ~ t y<br />
guest hW1 mthers. bonding, answering the child's questions, and<br />
ndallmw th dLti-.<br />
ICpuNldilk.co~thf.~j.ahcthu,plrwhtmkror.<br />
Invfs,ofthsbDur, ~um&l~tob.m-mttomhkutn<br />
uutN.&mmt. I f ~ ~ w o r l o h b t o t h u m t n r tha y ,<br />
plan be kM sagh to nddn m aomrdirqly. It is to m tht<br />
m r o n l d a a ~ a u l m ~ ~ C P ( O ~ ~ t b ~ m r r m<br />
*--.<br />
5. An issue that Mghtans all sderprive pnrsnU to urn, dagrPo.<br />
35t sgresrrnt. 656 d-<br />
- I<br />
msT-cUss AmmE<br />
(in number of '.ersona)<br />
RE-CUSS AlTITUDE A 1 B C I D l E<br />
I<br />
or Thrrarmed 33 0 0 L 1 KEY TO POST-CUSS AlTITVOES<br />
om, but tianageble.<br />
Cancer118 3 0 L 5 L A - No articuda change - b42<br />
B - Incrra88d apprehension - 02<br />
ckrd Informat*on 1 0 1 0 1 7 1 8 1 5 E - ~om~l;ce posiclve accirude<br />
uldn'c See Hraning<br />
change or working toward@<br />
n <strong>Search</strong> Experience 0 0 I 1 0 one - 132<br />
-3-<br />
z*<br />
PRE-CUSS ATIITUDES<br />
.(in number of arsons)<br />
WE snm P~SPECIIPE I A I B I c D I E<br />
I I 1<br />
:u C.-verage - 152 3 2 2 5 I KES TI' PRE-CUSS ARIT?9ES<br />
I I I I I<br />
fberal - - 112 7 2 0 0 0 A Hot rhrearened - b52<br />
B -<br />
Sor, but nmageable,<br />
concern. - 192<br />
C D Very Lacked apprehensive<br />
informarion, - 82 had<br />
lt;l-32Z ~ l ; ~ ~ i ; i ; ~ O l<br />
earch Portion of Home<br />
rudv Noc Reached - 71<br />
'0 Rmsponme to<br />
l uescion - 252 I0 0<br />
siven lirtle rhou~ht - 252<br />
E - Could nor see waning in<br />
amarch experlence - 2%
ZC<br />
Indian-children program loses funds in definition dispute<br />
ByJiaL*- bn etianpt to pka ig~!ad 8 "lunar- r definition,'' BuUsr *n nnr ll~ltirm to in WrbirylM md ir lnr. in Q-, uid<br />
W w childnn ritb ulradsd lh WU wid. be 'b lar lunds awaiting T i mnridstr. (hby f.es i& fiw.<br />
lirc d hbf family ncmbm nr Tbs lW Child Wel. Bulkr mid the BIA i8 undu% uL tion LbaBIA bardof d.1 u~~<br />
* r m b f w 8 urh lndb f d a , d- tn Ad d b funding making the mnent nf The Phosnir indirn .PW%<br />
Wing cub vill rf.<br />
1-e.uy eon. b Tun P q d th mly (a in Ghl mmmmIa to Canter, whaa rundin# Diredm of ihe 'he. feet 100 frmilia in 'he.<br />
Gkawb tbo rdm d the PPbpa irh- U~ff.-rtian" mu, propae ebmusr for nn out Rid.y kt cn wa Indian Center lad m in A-t md hvt<br />
r b r ~ ~ ~ tu. r d -<br />
)W ' wbm an- as~t ~IU\ yur lhl for fuodr to rhs rh Native ~MDI affectad 66 fadim in<br />
ehhary. At Lu, a(u dk- "srztin Lbs rniddla of would dbw ladh can. BLA mtnl mn diii lot Cammunity A&, , p-.<br />
- --. -<br />
A i v jrd rt (mry,haddjonby<br />
(L ~unv d intiiin 1 fl<br />
h<br />
ri(b.- bYln -z Anhb (bs<br />
dm,l.rarrPadfm *h%oo.<br />
(hir"ddpbd tam(bm ctvm<br />
iarpualhb bdi&,.h=<br />
-ha)mli R.yW,Ldd<br />
Pbarh;T.Ow* cpblrniafmtbu<br />
PlrSdt<br />
BU in Wnbgim rid<br />
Tbm Idun Child (br&lpuCornt&ld<br />
Charlie -.<br />
WaKh Ab dbn (L in 1874 Lbrt Indirn<br />
I<br />
I<br />
asun to i.L.wou bib rodd Wcr 'Yn".<br />
rk-&Wmah +mmr%u.<br />
b b: ah bs CL.ir rouwrtion" ro Lbrt<br />
(.srilLL.ruwdd- rnio add k U. . .<br />
4d'.i'udm&cL<br />
IMdedtoldLaIi*<br />
wb.Oumu- dtLbrullw.<br />
Pboairk8baoda.<br />
e,<br />
% THE <strong>AZ</strong>LI~NA<br />
I<br />
--._...<br />
M.L,<br />
Y'l<br />
Adoption makes history 9<br />
'we're so happy. It's almost too good<br />
m<br />
REPUBLIC -Jackie Pittman<br />
~ , r J ~ 1 , 1 # 8 S .,<br />
Deputy At(omy Cuunl Lnd mbd,&'dberblctovhithtr<br />
rqululy. At pacot,m(rtion hr<br />
,i "9 Neil<br />
bmlimitedtooaccrmonth.<br />
Ttu Pittnum hsvc cakm cum d<br />
\ Solomon, M.D childrm lor (hm yan, but<br />
JuliehuIbunrithUmnrhlo~<br />
Adoption not linked<br />
Zo emotional woes<br />
at<br />
Por (bc pui ho ~un .be rltmdedrpnrhmlrrCLrkh-<br />
m~t~dtbir~yd- livmtbcrbuvstodoptban~ pitt-ridibrdoawtlu*~<br />
qSuterhildnlLrrc&isl~h*c -nm. ~ l qulrm y lbout the ' ~@cII~ M.<br />
OOU)YOY: Do dopted children tend ic e-.-~titud.ia "~'~ulic'nrvrunlmabarhdr, mdb&ptkm,rminlyk<br />
k d pr~bbmr Lha dbu cbildrcn? C 1983 Tllbun. L.omprrr) S).na$catr. lnc<br />
4Uhur curring mediul problem8 and crul Julie'r ~ aml m o k in ~<br />
AII R~O~IIS R@~?tvso<br />
Mn. J.A.<br />
b/19<br />
* ibcdoptimrudby<br />
a .<br />
(ht'8thtrsuoDrbcdddadtO a-l<br />
'I. : .Your check, sir-and by the way. I'm an<br />
~lllg~Adoplimdarml.ppulabee \~JudpMd.LiuGuyrbor p11btrupfor~Pieho.n "Yaran'trcrminrtrtheporm.<br />
rriar olr of smdiolvl pabkrm in children. 3dhwupcLdritb~yud dd%betbou#hthmuldbebrt tdrigbtadmmnwjwtbcuuv<br />
P fm tht Cut WmM Raem Unw orphan."<br />
~ d t b r ~ Lfba&ugblerruinrhomcri(b tbeymill.TbLruthemly~y<br />
irp Grbod d Mdiam in ClenLnd hm rrporccd on "We'n m brppy. It'n tm r mDthr and htbcr rbcrr itu to lo. Thc rtUm pcoplt rp<br />
8 rdy 4 mWe UUn 6.m p(icnU a8ll at I podtobc~"&J&jePitl. dddmbcl. pDlcbdbrr~~~molhu)~n<br />
p&ht&diDicasrrI&)upaiod. laqwba.brdybulour- %emrderlremcDdwnoi- iidiheapd,"Pittmu,uid<br />
Sxmht (ha 100 of C&w htr nrr &b~bomBtoD.W.rll fietoutofLovrfor&r&u&tn. 1WitwiUrakoutfme.I<br />
fadbbnsbssa cam *ae ito bnba.8brirjm1bu*ihrl" You an't ul: for .njU~& mae think it'r gomi ibc rill know bet<br />
(be md non. Pinrmr, rid Ult +tion Uu ch.n hL" moltur. I1 rill au my doukr<br />
rr(.d b thair pyehtlric mdt poriblr w b tbc w. Pit- wid hat ewn W h rbwl bend in Lbc yan to amr<br />
pmoe ~aike J'Julic'8 Julir'g ~ t w d m,olhcr d l not w] my diuhk ~ IK Dmbltm<br />
molherudthe ladomof Iuvr r v in how Lhr child h Jorych.ny."<br />
%n<br />
b
~iolo~ical link can't guarantee unwed fathers' rights, high court rules 1<br />
k+kWinRnbr<br />
WASHINGTON - Patha<br />
~ tif ta<br />
b hi1 to a H h a +"97k?~'Z&<br />
lhir il tltruta childten, Lhe Suprmr Cawt dalued 63<br />
00 &y:<br />
khqinaRsrYuka,U*<br />
"m e r n h d a bidopiCll lin<br />
n* &ity d ~w mh(iaahii ala b itapmtant io<br />
hiniy( a falhw'n rich* chr murt uid<br />
n* rulim rr a defeat fa Jmhn hhr. who cldmd<br />
Umt hi* rkhb rm violated when a Nw Yak family murt<br />
- w~thout Mtifyim him or retting hu corucnt - lrl hm<br />
"' -*-old daurhbr h. dmlcd bv a alrnfatho in 1971).<br />
- ---<br />
... As<br />
for reports that Billie Jean<br />
King, 39, plans to adopt a<br />
baby later this year, husband<br />
Larry jokes, "Maybe<br />
Billie Jean is going to sura<br />
prise me. I'm always the<br />
last to know." Billie Jean.<br />
who has admitted to having<br />
* been<br />
an abortion in 1971, has<br />
trying to have a baby 1<br />
for the last six years, and<br />
Larry acknowledges that<br />
they have considered alter- .<br />
natives-though his wife's<br />
aflair with Marilyn Barnett<br />
might make il difficult to go<br />
through normal channels.<br />
"There's ail kinds of ways<br />
to get a child other than formal<br />
adoption agencies." he<br />
says. As a matter of fact, he<br />
reveals, three years ago<br />
the Kings assumed legal<br />
Shane. now 14.<br />
I<br />
lb .i(nifii d a bid- mnnocUon ia Uul it<br />
dm<br />
-<br />
U* n(unl farha an opportunity thal no olher mals<br />
to dmlop a mhlidip with hi* offaprin~,"<br />
SZzJbhn ~ aul s.*ro(. fa U* ear*<br />
"U h that oppor(unity and wxpb *war<br />
d rapmibility fa U* child1& fulum, hs may<br />
mjq U* Wnga d tha prrrnt.ehild mlationahip. .. If<br />
h f.iL to do rn (h f d d Cuutitulion will nd<br />
aulanatally rmrrpsl a ahla lo IL(m lo hu opinion of<br />
rh.la (h chiM'a bat in- lin<br />
Jucica Rymn White, T h d Manhll ad Hawy<br />
Rkkmun dirnted, aipinl thal "a bioleal mnn&n<br />
ir itrif a mhtioruhip that crratn a prnktrd inlmeL''<br />
n* jusUrm, upholding Nm Ynrk'n ryalcm for<br />
pmlrclinr the rirhlr 111 fathen of chilclrrn lw~rn nut nf<br />
S~gatm Mothers<br />
I was sickened to read in your story on<br />
surrogate mothers the comment that<br />
many couples who want to adopt balk<br />
at the "shortage of newborn Caucasions."<br />
What a sick, selfish mentality! it<br />
is the height of irresponsibility to seek<br />
to bring more children into the world<br />
when thousands of children go unadopted<br />
because they are too old or<br />
the "wrong" color.<br />
John Combs<br />
Orlando. Fla.<br />
wedlak, mid men rho dm& prbmity or rurw hhdy<br />
mponubilily mm owed U* umr pmdunl rigb r<br />
unwed mo(hsn.<br />
~u(~aht~aawmdi~e~olrr(&<br />
"(He) has nc*a had any ai ifmnt d i n l ~<br />
a liiuncid relalimrhi with raia" ~lmn<br />
- "ud<br />
hsdidnotrcahtoa~~lhha~d(i.un(ila(lsih.rr2<br />
ymn old."<br />
Mort ahln haw muted lm requiriw orrbh h<br />
d and<br />
fathen, much .I thaw hl lin with or=<br />
muppnrt for their children, lo b notilid d<br />
pmndinw<br />
Nm York'm law allm umd falhen Lo &ta if t b ~<br />
wmnl in hr nntifid of nny dnptinn praetdinp<br />
Justices dismiss I<br />
'paternity' suits I<br />
against 2 women l I<br />
I<br />
'Revem paurnity," suiu filed by the Marimp. i<br />
County attorney apr~nst lw Tempe wmen were I<br />
ordered diamiucd Tuuday by the Ariro~Supremc<br />
Coun<br />
The suiu were bwht on behdf of the suppaud<br />
fathen of the women's children. but the Supreme I<br />
Court ruled that rtak law does not allw the filing<br />
dauch anions.<br />
SUk law don not pennit Lhc filing of a palcrnity<br />
,<br />
action against anyone other than n man alupeettd II~<br />
fathering a child, Justin Jama ,Dukr Camerun<br />
wrote in the murt'a unanimous opinlon.<br />
The court issued ita decuion in separate special<br />
maions filed by Cheryl Sheldriek, a Tempe travel /<br />
agent, and Donna Jean Traphagan, an unemployed<br />
elcctronia worker.<br />
The women asked thr murt to overturn ~lincr<br />
bj. Superior Court Judge Cheryl Hendrix. who<br />
refused to dismiu the suiu filed b t yeu by the<br />
mnty attorney.<br />
The auit against Sheldrick wught to have Tempe<br />
rmident hlichacl SLen~er. 32, named as the father of<br />
her 16.month.old son. Aaron Sheldrick.<br />
Sheidrick's lawyer. B~ce Feder, conundr that<br />
Stenper wu ualng the null in an atlcmpt to re. i<br />
nublish s relationship with Sheldrick. Sten~er IIU I<br />
&nid the allegation.<br />
The adon against Trapha~~,yhl to have<br />
Tempe raidmt Mahmud Vak~l~ Mark" klc~e. ,<br />
hdam, 23. named ar the father of her 13.month.old j<br />
daughlcr. Michelle Lynn Traphagan.<br />
. 'lhpha~an's lawyer. Edwin P. Young, contend\ I<br />
chat hloghadam, an Iranian national, vanu to bf ]<br />
nmd the father of her child u plvt of an effort to<br />
& U.S.<br />
i<br />
citizenhip. Moghadun could not be<br />
r 4 d for comment Tuesday.<br />
C.O. Lamp, a deputv count<br />
lr<br />
attorney. aqued ,<br />
rlut the two men wand to be ulsrtd the fathen<br />
w they could he ordrrrd to pay child suppan<br />
The Supreme Court uid, however. that neither I<br />
Sewer nor Mqhmdmm wu a 1 4 party in the 1<br />
I<br />
I<br />
1 . 'Siqgle Mother By Choice' Puts Her Needs Above<br />
bhild's Need #or Father<br />
"""L<br />
nd-.<br />
-npnnaa*nf-Lo<br />
t L . r r ( d m r m ~ d d raLfaF.Lutynunmdutogd<br />
%IfaR(br'aLky,Umy-p. widudharlnby."<br />
c L ' ~ " p b t o & f a U n Ib'd.bao(b.nbycbdo*"fff<br />
tdr.&t*hudmdidn. WrntdIliiloicaiaTbry<br />
I.r.damhlodrgam-<br />
@Unddniti.IfaMii<br />
UhaqhdbLtL.bdriI<br />
'nmbiobgkdcbctrr(irfial.<br />
*rm.adda.ietL.*hd ~jwlpl.ia~rsd,aboby.%<br />
htUrddbydatbadrrcim thywatOUIto~rb.tt&y<br />
mld .<br />
~cUIPatbdaDlyh~.<br />
with a .pcLI pmbkm.<br />
I i m d d U* moth of mmm.<br />
dduioDd or diwouqd at-the<br />
pmpc~ for ihual p-nw, fin $<br />
duidc to giw up hoping and go)^ '<br />
alone."<br />
ddadmrbourfltMa<br />
omIing*mo(brrbocharntifi.<br />
,..<br />
1 .<br />
61" ehrprih.cbdadtbcirmotba<br />
&I iinumimtim cdd a re- "I<br />
But thnr new unwed mothen Pve<br />
done mom<br />
did it ch slry my. No rwr<br />
than ahndon ths.tmdi.<br />
No ticad family. They tuve embrahd rhe<br />
IalW7OhnnjwtaqW.- fu"<br />
notion h t fathcn m ihe dispnrs.<br />
~ f ~ M d ~ m o r tI Laa a n only am a ho romcn who<br />
rbonmrryrridNa~ur<br />
bk, dbpcuble purnta, handy bwwt<br />
md.thbd&ionIbmymors ViUL<br />
~UnnamlllimauhIrmilia rbo W about modern u~~vsd<br />
Only a d pmporcioa d tba<br />
Pahp rh.1 t CNe for &me<br />
moCbsndrlibntayrccuttohmma lmLkbd<br />
dturvtiw d rxLIT*<br />
a<br />
mo(berr Pertup it h.u been wfor<br />
ddd rhra But thi mimrity b<br />
row falhn. But it's<br />
llduv vidbl. tobv. ln&ad. lbw<br />
It L. I .upat, a nIbctim m<br />
nor tnu foi the<br />
our<br />
chi!dren.<br />
x<br />
IIIUI~ mrldrh.trb.irfrhdamuvu<br />
M few armmanta againd thin Children don't avo up hopti;<br />
b--<br />
'cbdea" Tbsir judpentr Lrip over d y . They cmnot rationalize clr<br />
tb divms ICrLLtia. Tbsy fdta ow d IO <aly. Thc hbiu and<br />
'~baumsd~bnsdnkd' dty. Hm ma two-pumt fami- tcddlen .pho+phed with mos&rs<br />
mr~plfortJnird.~~.li& IL* * d, nyb "Iiqied art* in chew dclcm about heir "alamue<br />
'drti.~~ pnah" or "liqL motbm ow tba ycan? Ha<br />
dinerent u it to nt" have yet to be inlc~,wcd.<br />
by eboirr" ldiddklr ud Dd- b a tin& morber by cboii or by KLhy us likely to grow up 4th e<br />
ad, rmu d lbsm Md<br />
default?<br />
built.in to<br />
udnibprarabrrMb*.pr -+T Yet I find myrll uneiuy u I rud up longing miulnp in their something, lives - missing tikely<br />
IhhbmbudutJdm.bouttba about Lbar wmm ud their hbin the unnamed. unk~wn somconsthelr<br />
wonden of h h # mothrrbood Notbaow u a c v i l ~ o r frid dl farbcr. ..<br />
.itbour L(b.rbmd<br />
bd mochrn 9 c4 hu d b What dm it mean to delibent&<br />
-rr,dmcm.lad&dY mocbmatd&Itbeuuraitrpprn bring a pntion of fatholmc bhil.<br />
rp.k, a w'tthr wme- tlul the mmam' need Lo hnc m child drcn into the world? Ikfore we .mpt<br />
rhn in the pnroa But be wm a<br />
tnni.at low. a re<br />
or.<br />
mmudmm&n.a.prmdoImn.<br />
imdM.c;rrrruabr<br />
dao'uprb.(rLr<br />
'Y)udq*mcipid8lmtri&<br />
anm lint, bcfom chu U ndCrIU~<br />
d a chiM'a Desd to have a father.<br />
Mmud<br />
But %-is<br />
vial of apam or i d h i<br />
%. Tbrm u a diffete~cr b.<br />
lw-adi*walfa(b.rudmfatbu.<br />
'h for a child b MI<br />
nnr(mu, a wlfi.b Thm ur fhil.<br />
dno~baaiathktunhd<br />
..<br />
w~ b hy lnb dl di i dr i dm obf a i ~ ~ n ~<br />
Mmrin a cbild with a a k d<br />
pdb-im yain, dinmt - different<br />
from brmgiw ow inlo ch world<br />
thiu M euiiy u just another option.<br />
WI ahwld uk the accident vimpls.<br />
W thorn about heir Father's Day.
Forwarding and Return<br />
Poa tage Guaranteed<br />
.----.<br />
NON-PROFIT ORG.<br />
U. S. Postege<br />
Llrcblleld Par% 'A2 85340<br />
Permit Ho. 0
SEARCH TRIAD INC.<br />
Box 1432<br />
Litchfield Park, Arizona 85340<br />
602-935-9702<br />
(9a.m. to Noon)<br />
Vol. VIII No. 4 September 1983<br />
Karen Tinkham<br />
Executive Director<br />
Lorraine Kazmier<br />
President<br />
Policyt<br />
<strong>Search</strong> <strong>Triad</strong> Inc. is an independent, non profit organization<br />
offering a free service of idea exchange, volunteer support<br />
and educational guidelines in the adoption triangle. We are<br />
a member of the American Adoption Congress, a coalition of<br />
individuals and groups nationwide who support more openess<br />
and honesty in adoption.<br />
We offer an open meeting to adults in search, although we do<br />
not advocate birthparents searching for minors or minors<br />
searching for birthparents. Counseling is available.<br />
" To forget one's ancestors is to be a brook without<br />
a source, a tree without root. v 1<br />
-Chinese' Proverb<br />
NEXT MEETING<br />
September 22nd at 7r30 pm<br />
All Saints' Episcopal Church<br />
6300 North Central Avenue<br />
Phoenix<br />
Executive Board meets at<br />
6:30 sharp!<br />
Join us for a sharing of some<br />
very exciting reunions. We<br />
will have search assistance<br />
available as well as rap groups<br />
for both pre-reunion and<br />
pos t-reunion.<br />
Birthparents of minor children<br />
are encouraged to sit in on<br />
either of the above rap groups.<br />
FUTURE MEETINGS<br />
October 13<br />
November LO<br />
December 8<br />
Mark your calendar now so you<br />
won't miss a meeting!<br />
Remember that your newsletter<br />
might not arrive before the<br />
meeting night so don't depend<br />
on that as your reminder.<br />
Election of officers will take<br />
place at the October meeting.<br />
The October newsletter will be<br />
mailed out. two weeks before<br />
that meeting. Nominations will<br />
be accepted from the floor.
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ending5/31/'83r<br />
. . . for the iekr<br />
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' CASH ~IWCE I 3/31/83 1.3 4L 8 8.3
You may look at the financial statement Jim McDonald submitted and think we<br />
are in great shape financially. The bottom line shows a balance of $1346.83.<br />
However, we were only $439.40 ahead for 'the ' year and $241.85 'of that came<br />
from donations. People don't realize the expense of running an organization<br />
. like <strong>Search</strong> <strong>Triad</strong>. We are often asked why we don't have a phone or why we<br />
. .<br />
don't open an office, Our budget answers both those questions,<br />
After much discussion, the Executive Board voted to increase membership dues,<br />
New members will now pay $25 for the first year. Renewals will be $15<br />
and we will continue to offer the newsletter only for $ 7.50. Local members<br />
who no longer attend the monthly meetings are encouraged to take advantage<br />
of this rate to keep in touch with what's going on in the movement.<br />
Questions about the financial report can be directed to either Jim McDonald<br />
or Karen Tinkham,<br />
. , . .<br />
OVERDUE LIBRARY BOOKS...please return them at the September rneeting.,..Mary Jo<br />
Stewart (from Nov) ; Nancy ~iller (March), Bill Friedman (May), Colleen Campbell<br />
(~une) , Robert Schmidt (June), Sally Sheward (June), Tammie Gainer (June),<br />
Ginny Rehill (~une) , Jan Rosscup (July), sandy Tarzwell (July) and Roni<br />
Rohleder (July).<br />
a<br />
25% of the books from our library are OVERDUE. We need your help in getting<br />
them BACK INTO CIRCULATION.<br />
- NEW in the library Who Is My Mother? by Clare Marcus.<br />
of What Kind of Love Is This? by Sandra Kay Musser,<br />
Also another copy<br />
EXECUTIVE BOARD MEETING HIGHLIGHTS: ~in~er Gibson Rogers, founder of <strong>Search</strong>,<br />
was named our first honorary member, AAC Region 9 Conference was discussed<br />
with JoAnne Lee and Lorraine Kazmier named as program chairman, Dorothy Foster<br />
was named as donation committee chairman, Ann Mehrtens and Karen Tinkham named<br />
publicity chairman, The decrease in membership renewals was discussed and it<br />
was decided that renewal notices would be sent out as first class mail. Since<br />
then renewals have increased. Jerry Sanders, a southern California artist,<br />
is donating a signed/# lithograph which will be given to everyone attending<br />
the Region 9 Conference. The teen/adoptive parent group wi'll no longer be<br />
sponsored by <strong>Search</strong>, but another program will be offered. by Jo Sadalla and<br />
Diane Ecks tein, professionals in the adoption f'ield.<br />
Barb Wodrich has headed our Speakers Bureau for ages now, and due to her very<br />
sucessful video business, has had to resign. Leslie Carter has now taken<br />
over this responsibility. We thank Barb for a job well done! If you are<br />
inrerested in doing a panel, make your willingness know to Leslie.<br />
Special thanks also goes to Mark Mehrtens (and Ann) for designing our new<br />
business cards, envelopes and stationary, We love our "new look"!<br />
If you are moving, please notify us of your new a'ddress. We also appreciate<br />
articles, cartoons, quotes that can be used in the newsletter. If you have<br />
had a reunion, please call Karen (between 9am and ~oon) with the details..,.<br />
and don't forget how much we NEED to hear your personal story at the monthly<br />
meeting, Reunions keep ALL of us going...those still searching and the<br />
search assistants who volunteer their time trying to help you find!
-<br />
Community Involvement/Panelat<br />
July 13 Beth Lockhart's Adoptive Parent Class<br />
Gary Carter<br />
July 21<br />
Aug 10<br />
Aug 24<br />
Aug 30<br />
Aug 31<br />
Sept 14<br />
Sept 22<br />
Department of Economic Security - Adoptions<br />
Jan Deahl and Kathie Neal<br />
Jewish Family Servdce<br />
Kathie Neal<br />
Jewish Family Service<br />
Ann Mehrtens<br />
Department of Economic Security - Adoptions<br />
Audrey Kreft and Sue Mills<br />
Jewish Family Service<br />
Lorraine Kazmier and Devonna James<br />
Department of Economic Security - Adoptions<br />
Gary Carter and Kathie Neal<br />
Department of Economic Security - Adoptions<br />
Krista and Milt Johnson<br />
On September 25th. Lon Taubman, from the Maricopa County Attorney's<br />
-<br />
Off ice and<br />
Karen Tinkham, will address a meeting of the GRANDPARENT'S GRANDCHILDREN'S<br />
RIGHTS OF ARIZONA in Sun City. This group was sucessful in getting the<br />
Grandparent's Visitation Law passed July 13, 1983.<br />
"It takes so much to be a full human being that there are very few who<br />
have the enlightenment or the courage to pay the price. One has to abandon<br />
altogether the search for security, and reach out to the risk of Living with<br />
both arms. One has to embrace the world like a lover; One has to accept pain<br />
as a condition of existence. One has to court doubt and darkness as the cost<br />
af knowing. One needs a will stubborn in conflict, but apt always to total<br />
acceptance of every consequence of living and dying. I REUNIONS /UPDATES<br />
Morris West<br />
The Shoes of a Fisherman<br />
Therese Pisarcik found her birthmother a year ago and the relationship has<br />
become close and wonderful for them both. Therese shares the following:<br />
I was lucky enough to see my bixthfather outside his home Last night. He<br />
lives about $ mile away. I have been driving by occasionaLly since last<br />
September, but never saw anyone outside. He looks a bit older than the 81'<br />
picture he gave me, but it was nice to see him anyway. We've spoken several<br />
times on the phone, but he's not interested in meeting me or any on-going<br />
relationship. At least my curiosity has been satisfied.<br />
Terry Lippens had a wonderful reunion with her five siblings in Michigan!<br />
She misaed her flight but made it to Detroit eventually and was greated<br />
royally!<br />
3 59
Lynn Arouh, Ohio born adoptee, joined us in July and has been ab1.e to locate<br />
her birthmother. Lynn made the trip back to Ohio to see her original birth<br />
certificate and then took it from there. A letter eventuallyreached her<br />
mother and phone contact fol1owe.d. It has been positive. Lynn asked that we<br />
remind people to not only check phone listings but also call directory assistance<br />
to check for current listings. Special thanks to Alberta Wales in California<br />
for her help too!<br />
rn<br />
Suzi Gay met her daughter for the first time a week ago. Suzi says this is<br />
like something out of a dream. Her daughter is now a student at ASU and<br />
lives in Mesa where Suzi runs her business. We look forward to seeing them<br />
both at a meeting soon!<br />
Merylee Golden has known the location of her daughter for over a year, but<br />
contact was just made recently. A reunion took place in the East and we<br />
hope Merylee will share details at a meeting. Merylee did have contact with<br />
the adoptive mother before the reunion took place,<br />
Linda and John Rossi are both Ohio born adoptees. They made a trip back to<br />
Ohio to see their original birth certificates and both were sucessful in<br />
locating their birth families. (no details are known at this time).<br />
Diane Pattison has had contact with her adoption agency, but was never<br />
allowed direct contact with her birthmother. Diane pursued it further and<br />
located her mother in Texas. A fantastic reunion has taken place and we<br />
can't wait to hear the details! Special thanks to Helen Leech for the<br />
.support she gave Diane!<br />
Josephine Cartrette joined us in July and has been able to locate her two<br />
sons who were adopted in New York. Josephine had the names after adoption<br />
which made the search relatively easy. Phone contact continues and hopefully<br />
a meeting will take place.<br />
John Dosch of Tucson has sent pictures of her daughter and hopes to attend<br />
our September meeting. Jo Ann shares the following: As I mentioned before,<br />
1 was not actively searching. I just wanted to be there if Stacy should ever<br />
want to contact me.<br />
- I had no guilt about the adoption it was the best and<br />
probably only thing to do at the time. I guess I learned early in life that if<br />
one let8 things go (whether emotional, material, etc.) they somehow come around<br />
again; but one cannot wait for the return but live each day to the fullest. The<br />
waiting and the guilt can be destroyers.<br />
The sumer issue of The Arizona News of The Episcopal Church, had a positive<br />
story (and photo) of two sisters who were reunited in Phoenix recently. One<br />
sister is from Mesa, the other lives in Portland, Maine. The reunion took<br />
place because of the help of a staff person who checked Episcopal records!<br />
Our teen group had a nice mention in the Exchange, a publication of the<br />
ADOPTION RESEARCH PROJECT in British Columbia, Canada. Clare Marcus is the<br />
publisher and editor.<br />
<strong>Search</strong> <strong>Triad</strong> also had a nice mention in the Sunmrer issue of the AAC Nat'l<br />
Newsletter. Peg Brenner, editor, is doing a two part series on some long<br />
It<br />
standing groups across the country that have aurvived". Groups featured
in the summer issue were AIM of Detroit, Michigan and <strong>Search</strong> <strong>Triad</strong>. The next<br />
issue will feature Adoption Forum of Philadelphia and WARM in Seattle.<br />
SEARCH ASSISTANTS<br />
-.<br />
Leslie Carter<br />
Jan Deahl<br />
(evenings)<br />
JoAnne Lee<br />
(evenings ONLY)<br />
Karen Tinkham<br />
(9a.m. to NOON)<br />
Ann Mehrtens<br />
Maurice Trager<br />
Barb Wodrich<br />
CARING NUMBERS<br />
Dorothy Foster 969-6042<br />
Bir thparent-Adop tee<br />
Vi Pierce ,97203483<br />
Birthparent<br />
Lorraine Kazmier 838-4270<br />
Adoptive Parent<br />
,Fairy Mae McKiernan 944-4729<br />
Adoptive Parent Class<br />
Diane Eckstein 277-7138<br />
Individual & Family<br />
Counseling<br />
PLEASE BE CONSIDERATE WHEN CALLING THE ABOVE NUMBERS. If an<br />
individual has requested calls during certain hours only, please observe<br />
those hours.<br />
Many very intersting adoption articles have appeared in both our local<br />
newspaper and in various magazines. July 30th TV GUIDE had an excellent article<br />
on a reunion between an actor and his son. McCall's July issue featured the<br />
reunion of Lorraine Dusky with her teen daughter. American Health Sept/October<br />
(thanks for the copy Marilyn!) featured "Shadows of an Unknown Pa~t" by Claire<br />
Berman. This article quotes AAC members Nancy Sitterly, Susan Harnmond (one of<br />
our past officers)and Virginia Keeler-Wolf. Excellent reading!<br />
Last fall, Better Homes and Gardens published a two-part questionnaire inviting<br />
readers to share their opinions on the state of American family life. Some<br />
201,320 readers responded. Who answered this survey? A statistical profile<br />
of the women and men who responded show that 72% attended or graduated from<br />
college, 892 are married, 437" have children 12 and under, 26% have children<br />
13 to 18 years old. Median family income is $33,462 and 85% are homeowners.<br />
A11 of these figures are significantly higher than national averages. Keep in<br />
mind that the views expressed in this report are strictly those of Better Homes<br />
and Gardens readers whose strong interest in family life prompted them to<br />
answer the lengthly questionnaire. Also, our<br />
-<br />
readership does not represent the<br />
total Ainerican<br />
-<br />
population. Certain segments the economically disadvantaged,<br />
for example are not adequately represented in our readership.<br />
"Scores of letter writers point out that in their opinion abortion is preferable<br />
to bringing unwanted children into the world. When we presented a hypothetical<br />
situation - if your unmarried adolescent daughter told you that she was pregnant,<br />
which alternative would you advise her to choose? - 242- of readers say theywould<br />
advise an abortion, 217. to have the baby and give it up for adoption,<br />
18% would leave it entirely up to the girl, 14% would advise her to have the<br />
-<br />
baby and keep it. If en adolescent son were the father in e similar case,<br />
21% would advise their son .to encourage the girl to give birth and ut he hild,,<br />
E<br />
uo for adoption. 217. would leave what to do up to the boy, J97. advige akort on
New address for WARM - 220 Kirkland Ave.<br />
Suite 10 Kirkland, Washington 98033.<br />
. 827-6680 Monday thru Friday from<br />
9:30am to 4pm.<br />
I~ispanic adoption -<br />
' New Orphan Voyage chapter in Florida a<br />
contact Linda McLendon P.0, Box 312<br />
Oklawaha, Fl 32679,<br />
A new CUB (Concerned United Birthparents<br />
for the Greater St. Louis area.<br />
Meetings are scheduled for Nov 5 and<br />
December 3. If you know someone in.<br />
that area, have them contact either<br />
Carolyn Kohenskey 188 Rolling Meadow<br />
in O'Fallon, Mo 63366 or Betty<br />
Scott 2930 E. Lolo Trail<br />
Springfield, Mo 65804.<br />
Mickey Carty (Adoptees Family Circle)<br />
and Retty Heide (Adoptees Identity<br />
Doorway) announce a computerized<br />
reunion registry for Indiana.<br />
Contact REUNION REGISTRY OF INDIANA<br />
P.O. Box 361 South Bend, Indiana<br />
46624,<br />
WHEN WRITING TO ANY OF THE ABOVE,<br />
PLEASE INCLUDE A SELF-ADDRESSED<br />
STAMPED ENVELOPE FOR THEIR REPLY!!<br />
Susan Lovett of Wichita Adult Adoptees<br />
sends word of an attempt to change the<br />
open status Kansas now enjoys. The<br />
National Committee on Adoption (out of<br />
Washington, D.C.) has sent a proposed<br />
adoption registry bill to the<br />
legislators<br />
-<br />
in Kansas. Adoptees<br />
-<br />
must<br />
be 25, for a match to occur, all<br />
parties must register,<br />
-<br />
(birthfather,<br />
birthmother, adoptee impossible<br />
since many birthfather's are unaware<br />
of being birthfathers). All siblings<br />
in the adoptee's family must be 18<br />
years old. It must<br />
-<br />
be a voluntary<br />
registry no publicity, etc..<br />
For current status, contact Susan<br />
at 5402 Lambsdale Wichita, Ks 67208.<br />
On August 20th, a new law went into<br />
effect in New York state. It allows<br />
for those adopted to get certain<br />
non-identifying info about their<br />
birthparents. Also allows<br />
-<br />
birthparents<br />
to be reunited if all parties<br />
agree. More details later.<br />
I9roup 'overdue'<br />
. .<br />
Antonio Duran calls it the nice<br />
..shock.<br />
: : The shock of being a father after<br />
.Qying for ei ht years to adopt a<br />
:Hispanic . chi1 ti .<br />
For Duran and hie wife, it<br />
:happened May 27. .<br />
'But adoptiona by Hispanic<br />
adults of Hispanic children are<br />
iomething .that doesn't happen too<br />
often in Arizona, despite a large<br />
I Mexican-American population.<br />
"There never a peare to be<br />
enough families on (R e state (adop-<br />
.tion) roeter to meet the needs,"<br />
hid Duran, president of a group<br />
,that works to<br />
rwn"<br />
find' Hispanic.<br />
for adoptable Hispanic chil ren.<br />
: Founded in March 1982, it is<br />
!led Hiapanic Children Family<br />
.f<br />
upport Group.<br />
: : Arthur Rojas, s state Depart-<br />
:ment of Economic Security aocial<br />
:worker, calls the group "long<br />
overdue."<br />
: : Statewide, there are perhaps 18<br />
*Hiepanic familiee cleared by DES<br />
'and waiting to adopt Hispanic<br />
: childxen.<br />
1 But there are abdut 60 Hispanic<br />
:children at any one time avaalable<br />
Eor adoption, Roye said.<br />
:: The abundance of adoptable<br />
.Hispanic children resub in the<br />
.children marking time in foster,<br />
..<br />
': bmea. .I , '.<br />
- The 'aimrage white child, who<br />
kpreaenta mom than two-thirds of<br />
ihe children in faeter are, spends<br />
than 18 months in fogter care.<br />
avera e Hispanic child, who<br />
1 % .6 percent of children<br />
care, sl[iende more than<br />
. *<br />
.' UWe haven't. really hid the<br />
:eu& of fmter nand adoptive<br />
homes for these children," Rojas<br />
said, -<br />
The social worker aaid, "The<br />
Mexican-American community has<br />
hen unaware to thie, poipt of the<br />
number of kids in the system."<br />
Or there ' are m~nceptione<br />
about adoption, "like. you have to<br />
be rich," Roja~ said.<br />
~ut because of efforte by people<br />
like those in Duran'e group, Rajas<br />
mid, "More and more people ate<br />
realizirig there are kids and they<br />
can adopt."<br />
The group meets once a month<br />
to "educate members of our group'<br />
and the community at large about<br />
the problems of children who are<br />
without homes," Puran said.<br />
Prior to returning to Phoenix in<br />
1980, the Durans had all but given<br />
up hope of adoption, somethin<br />
f<br />
that "became a waiting game tin<br />
very discouraging," he said.<br />
"Our attempts at adopting had<br />
not been very good, and mind you,<br />
this had been over a period of eight<br />
yeare," Duran aaid.<br />
Duran said they met people with<br />
similar experiences and, with DES<br />
help, formed the group.<br />
Some of the people were succcaful<br />
in adopting a Hispanic child<br />
and "we became enthud and, as a<br />
result, encouraged," Duran said.<br />
The monthly mwtingslet people.<br />
share frustrations and meet DES<br />
ado tion counselors and. foster<br />
chi f' dren, among other things,<br />
Duran said.<br />
"DES people will tell you, don't<br />
'just make out an application and<br />
sit back and wait,".he wid. "Make<br />
yourself known to DM!'<br />
, The liispanic Children Family<br />
Su port Group can be contacted at<br />
p.8. Box 178, Litchfield Park,<br />
85340, or 267-6691 or 035-5208.
4:<br />
I<br />
. ~b andonment clause could
AMERICAN ADOPTION CONGRESS<br />
REGION 9<br />
Z<br />
I<br />
FALL CONFERENCE<br />
SATURDAY, ClCTOsER 22, '19s3 8:3C)am - 5:00 prn<br />
RADISSCbN SCOTTSDALE RESORT & RACC3UET CLUB<br />
760'1 E. INDIAN BEND RD.<br />
SCOTTSDALE , ARIZONA<br />
HOSTED BY:<br />
search triad inc.<br />
PANEL DISCUSSIONS :<br />
male perspective on adoption<br />
grief in adoption<br />
changes in adoption<br />
MAIN GUEST SPEAKER :<br />
TOM ONSRIEM M.D.<br />
SEARCH WORKSHOP AVAILAPLE<br />
social hour at poolside 5:00 to 6:30 pm<br />
~~~~**~~~~**~*444fl2944O9+C.~O9~*~~~494+4444Ofl&4444O44444~44444C.44
A SPECIAL SEARCH WORKSHOP WILL BE OFFERED IN CONJUNCTION WITH THE REGION 9. .<br />
CONFERENCE.<br />
TIfIS WILL TAKE PLACE ON SATURDAY EVENING, OCTOBER 22, FROM 7 UNTIL 10 P.M. THE WORK- w<br />
SHOP IS AVAILABLE ONLY TO CONFERENCE REGISTRANTS; IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO ATTEND, PLEASE<br />
PRINT "SEARCH WORKSHOPtt IN THE..TOP LEFJ!HAND CORNER OF YOUR REGISTRATION BUNK, SO THAT<br />
WE MAY RESERVE A PLACE FOR YOU. WE ARE VERY PLEASED TO ANNOUNCE THAT THE FOLLOWING<br />
SEARCH CONSULTANTS WILL BE AVAILABLE TO WORK WITH SEARC-:<br />
WORKSHOP COORDINATOR<br />
We hope you'll join us for the AAC Region 9 Conference in Scottsdale.<br />
Please note that registrations must be received by October 10th or there<br />
will be an additional charge of $5 per person.<br />
Next fall, Operation Identity in Albuquerque will host the Region 9 Conference.<br />
FORWARDING and<br />
RETURN POSTAGE<br />
GUARANTEED<br />
I<br />
10N-PROFIT ORG.<br />
U., S. Postage<br />
. P A I D<br />
Cmmield Park; '<strong>AZ</strong> 85340<br />
Permit No. 8
Vol. VIII No. 5 October 1983<br />
Karen Tinkham<br />
Executive Director<br />
Lorraine Kazmier<br />
President<br />
Policy: <strong>Search</strong> <strong>Triad</strong> Inc., founded by Ginger Gibson Rogers in<br />
May of 1976, is an independent, non profit organization<br />
offering a free service of idea exchange, volunteer support<br />
and educational guidelines in the adoption triangle. We are<br />
a member of the American Adoption Congress, a national<br />
organization whose aim is to promote openness, honesty and<br />
sound practices in adoption. It is a coalition of individuals<br />
and groups across the country dedicated to the needs of the<br />
adoption community past, present and future,<br />
We offer an open meeting to adults in search, although we do<br />
not advocate birthparents searching for minors or minors<br />
searching for birthparents. Counseling is available.<br />
"To forget one's ancestors is to be a brook without<br />
a source, a tree without root,"<br />
"<br />
-Chinese Proverb<br />
NEXT MEETING<br />
October 13th at 7r30pm<br />
All Saints' Episcopal Church<br />
Manning Hall<br />
6300 North Central Avenue<br />
Phoenix<br />
Executive Board meets at<br />
6130 sharp!<br />
Election of officers, a vote<br />
on two changes in our by laws,<br />
reunions, rap sessions and<br />
search assistance available.<br />
Birthparents of minor children<br />
are encouraged to sit in on<br />
either of the rap sessions -<br />
pre-reunion or post-reunion.<br />
FUTURE MEETINGS<br />
November 10<br />
December 8<br />
January 12<br />
February 9<br />
arch 8<br />
April 12<br />
Remember that your newsletter<br />
might not arrive before the<br />
meeting night so don' t depend<br />
on that as your reminder.<br />
REMINDER - If you are planning<br />
to attend the American Adoption<br />
Congress Region 9 Conference<br />
in Scottsdale, the registration<br />
deadline for the $30 fee is<br />
October 10th.<br />
Our deepest sympathy is extended to Peggy Diefenbaugh and her family.<br />
Peggy's youngest adopted child, Dustin, age 12, died in St. Joseph's<br />
Hospital the day after his bike collidea with a pickup truck in Mesa.<br />
Dustin played Pop Warner football and was fond of computers and math.<br />
He is survived by hia parents, a brother and four sisters.<br />
This month we elect new officers. It seems the appropriate time to<br />
say a big thank you to those who have served on the Executive Board<br />
for the past 12 months. The Board included President Lorraine Kazmier,<br />
Vice-President Dorothy Foster, Secretary JoAnne Lee, Treasurer Jim<br />
McDonald, Members at Large Kathie Roheim, Gary Carter, Ann Mehrtens,<br />
Lynne Hellmers, Past Presidents Maurice Trager and Barb Wodrich and<br />
Executive Director Karen Tinkham.<br />
The nominating committee met in September, and would like to present<br />
to the membership, the following nominaest
President - Dorothy Foster<br />
Vice-president - Ann Mehrtens<br />
Treasurer - Gary Carter<br />
Recording Secretary - Leslie Carter<br />
Corresponding Secretary - Rhoni Rohleder<br />
Each nominee will give a brief background report before the electfon.<br />
The membership also needs to vote on two changes that the Executive<br />
Board voted to make with regards to our By-Laws. Instead of electing<br />
a secretary, we feel two are necessary. Also, the By-Laws state that<br />
after the election, the new officers and the Executive Director will<br />
choose three directors at large. The Board would like to change the<br />
wording to indicate that the new officers and the Executive Director<br />
will choose an appropriate number-of members to serve on the Board as<br />
Members at Large.<br />
The Board atso discussed our library situation. We are concerned that<br />
257. of the library is checked out and very much overdue. We have<br />
decided that members may only check out two books per month, and if<br />
they are returned late, a $1 fine will be charged per book per month.<br />
The money will go to purchase new books. We feel we offer the<br />
members something valuable in providing a library, but frankly getting<br />
the books back has become a pain!<br />
- OVERDUE BOOKS Suzi Gay, ~enny Rehill (june), Jan Ra scup (July),<br />
Diane Creque (Aug), Nancy Miller, Cheyrl Myers, Josephine Cartrette,<br />
Mary Norton, Melodie Wade and Rick Powell. If you won't be attending<br />
the October meeting, please call Jan Deahl at 841-7693(Evenings) to<br />
make other arrangements.<br />
REUNIONS 'UPDATES<br />
Jim McDonald went to Chicago on business and was able to return to<br />
'Phoenix via the airport in Denver, Colorado. A reunion took place<br />
between Jim and his birthfather!! They spent three wonderful hours<br />
together and those of you who attended the September (and braved the<br />
moonsoon storm) saw photos of two men that Look like twins.<br />
We're all happy for you Jimll<br />
Sandy Tarzwell has been patiently working on her search for a long<br />
time, but the answer she needed came in the mail last weekend. A<br />
death certificate for her grandmother. She called the informant (her<br />
uncle) and he gave her the present name and phone number of her<br />
mother. She and her sister will be making that important call soon....<br />
come to the October meeting for the rest of the story!<br />
QUOTES OF THE MONTH<br />
August 8, 1983 issue of PEOPLE contained an article about a U.C.L.A.<br />
doctor who is transplanting human embryos, offering hope to infertile<br />
women. The volunteer donor is artifically inseminated with sperm from<br />
the recipient's husband and the fertilized egg is then transplanted to<br />
the infertile recipient.<br />
Dr. Butler was asked Do YOU expect psychological problems for a woman<br />
carrying a child to whom she has no genetic relation?.<br />
I think they feel this is one step better than adoption, They<br />
feel this is an opportunity for them to have the husband's child, and<br />
that child is better than getting a baby who is one hundred percent<br />
foreign genetic material.<br />
The Phoenix Gazette carried a story about a Chicago physicist turned<br />
reproductive biologist, Richard Seed. "People have a right to their<br />
genes. They have a right to a child who is a close as possible to their<br />
genetic makeup," said the frenetfc, mid-50ish Seed as he prepared a<br />
sa~nple for freezing in his Chicago office. "1 think -it's outrageous when<br />
doctors tell people they have to adopt...Why should they adopt<br />
someone elseta diasterl"<br />
Don't let the turkeys<br />
get you down
One of our members has<br />
-<br />
shared a letter his adopted mother wrote after<br />
his arrival in 1955<br />
Suddenly you become aware of the changes made in your well-ordered 1Ue; your<br />
neat well-kept house; your normally calm dlsposttton; and pour sleep-fUled nights.<br />
~thlts your coneclous mlnd wlth a hng re you flnd you can't come and go as you<br />
ple~e; ns you look around at the clutter of play pen, stroller, dlaper pall, teethlng<br />
rlnga, bottles, pacutern, etc. whlch are somehow In the most Improbable places:<br />
an your nerves are becornlng ptfrazzledw wlth trylng to understand thla unfathvmable<br />
Ilttle creature wlth a mlnd of its own; and the Bltuatlon Isn't helped one blt by the<br />
manp nlghts thls "bundle of joyvv decldes to stay awake (and vocal) when your whole<br />
being crles for sleep. Your house, your clothe8 - everythlng about you - beglm<br />
to take on the aroma of yesterday's formula, baby foods and the lnevltable wet<br />
dlapere; and your wall-to-wall carpeting, whlch you chose wlth such care, shows<br />
the unmistakable slgm of varlous type8 of ,taccldents".<br />
All these things are Instantly forgotten, however, wlth a sweet, innocent baby smile<br />
. or a gurgle or a funny @lburptt expreselon on a soft, sleepy face.<br />
The rilghttl you spend in sleepless, exaeprated, helpleesnese trylng to flgure out<br />
what nus thls howllng piece 01 humanlty are non-exlstent the Instant you see that<br />
tnllniteslrnal dot of white enamel that denotes the arrlval of hle flrat tooth.<br />
The loys of parenthood are known by<br />
- allparents, but the thrill and wonderment are<br />
tncreased ten-fold for those of us who "chose" our children There are no words<br />
to express the dellght and happiness with whlch the heart of an adoptlve pirent lS<br />
fllled as he sees the llght of love and trust grow in the eyes of hls chlld. Nor can<br />
the agony of a so-called "naturalv parent be as arute as that JI an adoptive parent<br />
when the chlld Is slck or injured or just plaln unhappy. There are a speclal set<br />
of e-motlono reeerved for people who deliberately decide on parenthood.<br />
There 1s no "adopted parents" organlzatlon, nor should there be, but each feels<br />
News from around the globe:<br />
Independent <strong>Search</strong> consultants has announced that they have purchased<br />
microfiche indices of the following for the state of California!<br />
Deaths 1940-1981<br />
Brides 1960-1981<br />
Grooms 1960-1981<br />
If you need specific names checked, ISC staff will do so $5 per name,<br />
per index. Send your request and check to ISC P.O. Box LO192<br />
Costa Mesa, Ca 92627.<br />
From Gail Hanson 15 Windsor Rd., Milford, Ma 01757; If Birthparenthood<br />
has affected your relationship to your spouse, and you cannot seem to<br />
give the total commitment that you once gave to the birthfather of your<br />
relinquished child; you are not alone1 Please share how your relationships<br />
have been affected. Information gathered will be used in CUB'S<br />
upcoming book on LIVING AS A BIRTHPARENT. Gail ia Vice President -<br />
Support Services. Additional information from Birthparents who have<br />
gone on to marry one another, and their special dilemas, thoughts,<br />
and experiences would be appreciated.<br />
1984 American Adoption Conference - Seattle, Washington<br />
May 30 - June 3<br />
1985 American Adoption Conference Orlando, Florida<br />
June 14 - 16<br />
A.B 1.3. / West Columbir,S,C. now has a branch meeting in Greenville,<br />
contact person is Mary Crandall Box 6426B, Gresnville,S.C. 29606.
<strong>Search</strong> Assistants please note the<br />
increase in certificates from Wisc -<br />
birth certificatesnre now $7, deaths,<br />
marriages and divorices cost $5.<br />
From Elizabeth Scott - Southwest Mo.<br />
Adult Adoptees: There is a new<br />
organization called DONOR'S OFFSPRINGS<br />
The founder will be on the Donahue<br />
Show and enormous amounts of mail are<br />
expected. This will provide a prime<br />
opportunity for' someone to develop<br />
research thru a professionally<br />
prepared questionaire. If you wish<br />
more info, write to Betty at<br />
2930 E, Lo10 TraiL, Springfield, Mo<br />
65804.<br />
New printing available of a fantastic<br />
book - SEARCH AFTERMATH AND<br />
ADJUSTMENTS. Send $4.50 to either<br />
Pat Sanders 20111 Riverside Drive<br />
Santa Ana, Calif 92707 or Nancy<br />
Sitterly 1203 Hill St. Suffield,<br />
Conn 06078.<br />
NATIONAL ADOPTION WEEK - November<br />
20-26. Do your thing this special<br />
week-have a reunion!<br />
The Junior League of Phoenix Is<br />
sponsoring an Adoption Seminar on<br />
Saturday, November 5th in Phoenix.<br />
The ,fee is $5, includes lunch.<br />
We do not have a list of speakers,<br />
but the brochure promises a panel<br />
of speakers from the community,<br />
both professional and nonprofessional<br />
who are interested or involved in<br />
adoption. Registration forms will be<br />
available at the October meeting or<br />
send a self-addressed stamped<br />
envelope to <strong>Search</strong> for a copy.<br />
Families<br />
divided<br />
Q: My hnyfriend'~ ex-wife, who has cufitody of<br />
theii two small girls, h n rcmivried ~ and wantk hrr<br />
new hushand to adopt the girls. Since my boyfriend<br />
has not hern able to pny her the total amount in<br />
child support every month, she belicves he would<br />
not be able b provide fnr the chiltlren ir and when<br />
she dies. Is the natural fnlher's fiignature required<br />
before an adoption can bo legal? What will happen<br />
ii he doe^ not sign? Will they have tn prove my<br />
bojrfriend to be nn unlil. father to nlliu~ adoption<br />
without ths required signature? Does the fad we<br />
are living ðer have any bearing on the<br />
situation? '<br />
J.B., Phoenix.<br />
A: Arizona statrrtes my consent foi adoption<br />
must be ohtained from both. natural parenfn, if<br />
living. Neglect, unfitneua or abandonment on the<br />
part of the natural parenh must be demonstrated<br />
hefore Chat requirement is waived. A person cannot<br />
lwe hieher pnrental rights by not paying child<br />
upp port. If abandonment i~ charged, the father<br />
wnuld receive notification of that charge as well as<br />
the hearing. Living together hae no bearing ofi the<br />
situation.<br />
Update on NY Law from Adoption Forum in<br />
Philadelphia: NY Governor Cuomo signed<br />
legislation recently that allows the<br />
State Health Dept. to release non-identifying<br />
info to adoptees 21 or older. Info includes<br />
age of parents at time of birth, racial<br />
and ethnic heritage, religion 6 education,<br />
general physical appearance, occupation,<br />
talents, hobbies and special interests,<br />
health history and circumstances surrounding<br />
the adoption. In addition, the new Law<br />
provides for the disclosure of names and<br />
addresses when the adult adoptke, birth<br />
parents and adoptive parents all provide<br />
consent. For adoptions occurring after<br />
April 1984, the consent of adoptive parents<br />
will not be required. New York is the<br />
10th state to set up a program to allow<br />
birthparents and their children to be<br />
reunited. Three other states, Colorado,<br />
Texas and Oregon enacted similar laws<br />
this year.<br />
The Canadian Parent Finders Assoc. of B.C.<br />
has changed its name to Canadinn Adoptees<br />
Reform Assoc. of B.C.<br />
1sn't it wonderful to find someone<br />
who looks like you?<br />
MC Region 9 Newsletter<br />
POST-REUNION RESEARClf: What happens after<br />
reunion? More needs to be know about reunion<br />
and its aftermath, says Clare Marcus, who is<br />
doing research in this area. If you have had<br />
a reunion, do you wish you had had more help<br />
to prepare for it? How did you handle it?<br />
If you would like to help with this research<br />
write to Marcus at Adoption Research Project,<br />
3231 Williams Road, Richmond, R.C. V7E 1H8.<br />
Your information will be treated in<br />
confidence.
~<br />
A<br />
The Konanr mlllrd abo~~l, pUng hand<br />
MIh the nmrr and @her P@P<br />
ronrl dalr about lort nlallvu on the nrl<br />
work bulldlnr, slrlrwap md lo~lnlnl~.<br />
Whllr the drama 01 aomc a( lhr 1.m rr<br />
unlons wru brlnlr rhmn a TV In the rludla<br />
oulrldr rarcd<br />
Klm Sunak. 52 yran old. cunr lo Ihe<br />
rl~dlo bulldlnt lrnm lnchnn, wulhnrl ol I<br />
le TV Tear. jerker .<br />
dram rlm~<br />
These Days<br />
,I IS a Real-Life Drama INldr. many 01 the ~ d c<br />
... : 1 dlrrppolnlmrnl.<br />
- 7 -<br />
I<br />
I Tclcthon on r Scoul Network (<br />
I<br />
tlcl~nitcs l.W Families<br />
Sinw the War<br />
Py .I~\lar R S.ttlrrwr%<br />
.SV#,lfn.PWl""J Ttt* W4#& S111b7 J ~ l l t # . ~<br />
SElll'l.. Wlh Knna-THC ronllnulng<br />
drama .ihmWlny on lhr Korran Rmadcullng<br />
SYSlPm I'IM dap Is a lrar.Jrrhcr ~orihy 01<br />
an Amrrlran soap wra. O111 the eplsndrr<br />
.Ire :111 r~sl lllr, vlth a steady slrram or<br />
h:lppy entllnm.<br />
In r iw!nlry vhrrr mllllnns 01 pmpb<br />
h.wr hrrn srparalrd lrnm rrlatlvrr ever<br />
rlncr lhr vulbrrnk al the K~trran War In<br />
13%. Ihr sI.tlr.nln Irlrvlrlon ryslrm set rml<br />
10 II~ m rrtrrlte u many iantlllcr u -1.<br />
hlr. Thr rrrull has bun lhr rrunlllng 01<br />
nutrr Ihan 1.m lamlllrr-and same ol lhr<br />
mr61 invlu'hrrr.<br />
Im Y"one c'hol, hb larr irtnltmrd by rme<br />
Inm. Ir on srrrrn rlulrhlnr 111s brolher.<br />
whom hr hadn't srrn in uvrr 30 yrc:ln. He<br />
~DIIM a wrram Jnd brrnkr Inlo Iran. An<br />
.!nntNnrrr. also Inst a lamlly srparalnl ty<br />
lhr war. ltlrnr away lmm lhr ramera and<br />
wrrpa.<br />
Sislrr Is Found, Toe<br />
1 Atlwcrn nnr N a of ctylng. Mr. lntu<br />
;&!an rulnllrd WII~ a rlsttr. And antr he rr.<br />
p:tlns 1111 r~a~ps~~rr, hC ra-. "NOW I've<br />
frwd 11v I ! l dm-um. Slrtrr.<br />
al,vro! hdsr ytul Iw.I. m J whal havr you<br />
drvrr irp In nor? Huw ntvnv l~;~rdshlpr havr<br />
$ul rlll:.ld: I mrlnl.llllnl my IIIr only wllh<br />
; lhr hupv I wtmlld mrrl you, bul I ntvrr<br />
thcv~ahlh:tl I'd rr;llly h10 rblr la mrrl hnh<br />
#,I ynll."<br />
Sllrh swrr havr buvn rrpalrd hun.<br />
tltnls 111 llnlrr slnrr .ll~nr 33. whrn the Ko<br />
rr.ln nrlwo~rk brnadcul whal w u whnlulrd<br />
tlr hF a onrshd pmgrrm. Sonlr W.m) po.<br />
plr .Irked lhr nrlwork l~lr hrlp In lor.~llnf<br />
klnlolk. w, lhr pmrun rrolvrd Inlo a wnk.<br />
! rnd4ong lrlrlbn. lollowrd by wvrral mrtrr<br />
' 4.1~~ ul bmadcasU early lhl, n~~lnlh. Fhr.<br />
. 1hrr wnkly pmmnmr .Irr whnl~llrd.<br />
I Whrrras rhnwlnm ol mass Wnllnltnl ol.<br />
(en an nrthrslralrd in Korra. Ihr 0111.<br />
j purlnr hjlr brrn %pmtanrnu thls ilmr. A<br />
1 ysurrnmenl olllclal says Ihr pmnalns havr<br />
I . amvldrd .':l klnd of mtharrlr.' lor Koreans<br />
long vparatrd lmm lhrlr ancrslral<br />
homra.<br />
The pnlrnms not only rapturd the at.<br />
Ienllon ol vlrwcn. lhry also srl oll a human<br />
mlflallon In thr Sraul sllrdlm 01 Komnn<br />
Rraldrasllnr Syslrm. Thmlsands al pmplc<br />
surmundrd lhr studlo bulhllng J.ly rllrr day<br />
j In n xrnr r~mlnlscrnl 01 ihr Waslllnflon<br />
~alhrnnu In Aprll nl Jrulsh tlol~c;lusl sur.<br />
vlron wzklng lnnrlml lrtcnds and rrlr<br />
11vrs.<br />
I<br />
i ilcd~lii<br />
- . . ~ ~~ ~ ~..~- .~~ .., ~.~~ .<br />
nllrr r tmmhlnf had lrlf It<br />
! ablur. So Iar, howrver, hrr horl of i re<br />
ltnlon are ~~nlulllllrd.<br />
Andhrr Knrran. 27.yr;lr.nld Chonl:<br />
ang.Hl, won a rlgn wllh lhr namn 01 iwn<br />
Imt unrln rc $hi- p.ddlrd mllk and fire<br />
rake among ihr plltrlrns nuUldr lhr ntl.<br />
I<br />
wark bllldlng. Thr ancln wen last urn In<br />
1911 irylnc to bard a lralrl la flrr L'hmnr<br />
lotcrr lhal had allarkrd nrrms lhr YaIu<br />
Rlvrr.<br />
"hly mnlhrr and lrlr nandmolhcr sald rr~almlly that Ihrlr nralesl hllpr Is lo llnd I<br />
Ihr brnlhrn." shr rald. "If nnl. lhry wan1 lo I<br />
kntlw vhrlhrr lhry nn sllll allur."<br />
On the lrlrvlslon broadraslr. pmplr have<br />
I .<br />
ldrntlllrd rrlallsrs by wlnr them on mm<br />
rra or by .rradlng ldrnlllylng pl,~r;lrtb<br />
shwn on canlrra. Trlrvlslnn, rhlth Is now<br />
In pncllrally rvrry Sc~ulh KnrrJn humr, has<br />
I succrrdrd vhrtr pxrt rllnrlr havr had llm.<br />
II~ surcas.<br />
1 Plrvlnus rllorts In\olvrd nrarpalrr<br />
I drlvrs and pmplr chrcklna pullce rrfistrl19.<br />
Thty frnrnlly lrll shnrl lor r numbrr 01<br />
rrrY)ns mld In lhe rhaor Ihal lollornl lhr<br />
war. For onr lhlnr, mllllons ol rrltlgrrr<br />
lmm Nuah Knmr chmgcd lhrlr nanln<br />
when lhry w~~lrd in srm~h Korra. llthrn.<br />
*paralrd lrum lhelr lnmlllrs whrn lhry<br />
wrrr ynunt. dldn'l know lhrlr lamlly nall!rr<br />
or lhr l'hlnrsr rhararlrrs lr~r lhr n.lnlrs 111<br />
lhrtr wltllvrs. Slnre many Korean ndnlrr<br />
I wlund nllkr. the task for lhr lcns ol Ihlar.<br />
- .. -.<br />
s;~ndr nl dlsplarrtl lmlly mrmhcn bceamr<br />
a nlrhlman.<br />
Pollcc rr~lslrler. moreover. an Incorn<br />
plvlr and dllllcull lo lur In lraclnl pcoplr.<br />
.And lhr prrr rl,wcs ol Solllh Kurrans<br />
lend to be rssplrrow 01 Ihr pllcr and un.<br />
~~lir~y to llsr ihr nostnu.<br />
Trlrvlslun has surmmlnlrd the problrm.<br />
wllh lhr dramaUc mulls. Al one govern<br />
lllrnl olllrlal nhsrrvu. Ihr IrlrcasU havr<br />
!~~lpnl .%lh Knrranr rrraln Ule vnsc 01<br />
Ianllly tits lhal ladrd m the nallon has In.<br />
tl~~s~n;~llzd. I{c sdds. "It any Korran Irllr<br />
ynl~ that he klsn I brrn all~lrd<br />
by lhr sep.<br />
r.811tnn. 11,s a lie.''<br />
Concerned United<br />
Rirthpnrentr<br />
A nallonnl orga11lrallol~ provldlng support and<br />
advyacy on belralf of all Iamily members separaled<br />
by ndopcloll, will1 n special focus on the needs and<br />
rights of blrltiparc~lts.<br />
Between 1976.1983 we helped over 40.000<br />
persons who have relallvcs missing In adoption! We<br />
arc well l~rcpared lo offer you the Informallon<br />
needed to makc sound declslons about your llfe.<br />
Call or write Today. Ask for our flyer delalling our<br />
natloriwlde servlce, projects, and programs.<br />
CUB<br />
595 Ccnlral Ave.<br />
Dover. N.H. 03820<br />
603'749.3144<br />
If you want your ship to come in,<br />
you've got to moha wauer!!<br />
Child may never know name of '28 Red' (<br />
-<br />
:38 Rod" may bs Ulr ml nrma Dam nlkha lha channel " Ju uld. "mlniy<br />
I() Ill# will snr know lw hb ither.<br />
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mny chlldnn lrom ~ prm hnb MI lo<br />
find out xbo thelr IaIhrrLL<br />
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I
Sandy Musser, founder and director of Adoption Triangle Ministry, has reqbbsted<br />
our help in reaching the churches, private agencies and pro-life groups. The<br />
following is a copy of her request,<br />
As most of you know, I have chosen the churches, the pro-liEe groups and the<br />
'I<br />
private agencies as my target" areas for educating about our adoption<br />
issues and concerns.<br />
I'd like to implore all of you to help me in this effort by sending me names<br />
and addresses of particular ones you would like informntion sent tor or<br />
just lists that I can feed into the computer; and I'd also like to be kept<br />
informed as to those churches, private agencies, etc., that are supportive<br />
of our efforts. ATM wants to make a concentrated effort to get our literature<br />
into as many churches as possible. We also want to compile a list of those<br />
clergy who will "stand up and be counted.'' It will take everyone's cooperation<br />
to perform this monumental task, but I think we're on a roll and we can do it,<br />
The Private agencies are another group thnt ATM wants to zero in on as it is<br />
my contention that most (practically all) of them were founded on religious<br />
principles; i.e. Catholic Social Services, Jewish Social Services, Lutheran<br />
Social Services, etc.<br />
And finally the pro-lifers continue to raise the flag of "adoption - not<br />
abortion.'' Sounds wonderful, but the fact is that most girls today given<br />
a choice will choose abortion over adoption because they cannot bear to<br />
"give away their child" under the closed system. We need to continue to<br />
push for open adoption if the trend away from abortion is going to turn<br />
around. I am not in favor of abortion but, as a birthmother who suffered<br />
for years the pain of not knowing, I can understand the thinking behind it.<br />
In a survey I did of 150 teenagers, when given the choice of l/keeping their<br />
child, 2/ adoption, 3/abortion, the first choice was always to keep, the<br />
second choice, abortion; and the third choice, adoption. Only as we give them<br />
more options and more knowledge about their child, will they opt for<br />
adoption. The pro-lifers need to be aware of these facts.<br />
Please send me any articles you find, ideas, suggestions, etc. as to how we<br />
can accomplish our goals quicker and better. Write me c/o Adoption<br />
Educational Institute for Openness and Understanding Box 1860 Cape Coral,<br />
Florida 33910.<br />
Cornmen t from Karen<br />
The Tinkham family was very fortunate indeed to leave our Sahara desert<br />
climate in August and head for cool London. My husband attended a businesa<br />
conference that first week, but then we three had a wonderful month full<br />
of beautiful sights, fantastic food and the chance to reestablish contact<br />
with relatives and friends. We had a great visit with our Danish social'<br />
worker friend Steen Grand. His study was presented to the University of<br />
Copenhagen and received the highest marks possible. This study is now<br />
being published and adoption may never been the same because of it!<br />
Another special reunion took place in Tdnder Denmark when I saw my cousins<br />
that I had found last year. Tho langunge was a problem, we did manage<br />
to corrununicate and shared much about the "family". Then we drove to<br />
northern Germany where we visited the area my great-great grandparents<br />
were from. I lucked out and found two women who spoke limited english.<br />
Both gave me willing assistance and I was able to go back three generations<br />
on my family tree.<br />
Why am I mentioning this7 Because it was wonderful to do something for<br />
myself for a change. I needed to get away from the phone and the maill<br />
Now I'm home and I face the reality of what involvement in <strong>Search</strong> <strong>Triad</strong><br />
means. Phone calls all hours of the day and night, even tho I have<br />
requested calls from 9am to noon only. Everyone thinks, oh well, Karen<br />
won't mind if I just call for 5 minutes...guess what...I do mind. I<br />
have a private life and I need private time. My daughter needs me<br />
when she comes home from school and my husband appreciates a little<br />
attention too.<br />
I<br />
If I sound a little down I am. I see the membership growing, but I see<br />
little corranittment on the part oE the membership. They come to us, find<br />
and then they leave. Nothing is done to help change our "backward"<br />
adoption laws in Arizona. No one seems to care that unless you come to us<br />
with names. it may be impossible to find. Doors continue to close. Pcople<br />
who have reunions-don't even bother to share with the group, What can we do?<br />
37t
A SPECIAL SEARCH WORKSHOP WIU BE OFFERED IN CQNJUNCTION WITH THE RECION 9. CONFERENCE,<br />
TIUCS WILL TAKE PLACE ON SATURDAY EVENING, OCTOBER 22, PROM 7 UW.1LIL10 P.M. THE WORK-<br />
SHOP IS AVAILABLE ONLY TO CONFWENCE RECISTWS; IF YOU WULD LIKE TO ATTEND, PLEASE<br />
PRINT WZARCH WORKSHOP" IN THETOP LEFTHAND CORNER OF YOUR REGISTRATION BLANK, SO THAT<br />
WE MAY RESERVE A PLACE FOR YOU. WE ARE VERY PLEASED TO ANNOUNCE THAT THE FOLMWSNG<br />
SEARCH CONSULTANTS WILL BE AVAIIABLE TO WORK WITH SEARCHERS:<br />
WORKSHOP COORDINATOR<br />
AMERICAN ADOPTION CONGRESS<br />
IZE<br />
REGION 9<br />
FALL CONFERENCE<br />
..<br />
- SATURDAY, OCTOBER 22, 3983 f3:30em 5:OO pm<br />
RADISSON SCOTTSDALE RESORT & RACmUET CLUB<br />
7601 E. INDIAN BEND RD.<br />
SCOTTSDALE , ARIZONA<br />
HOSTED BY:<br />
search triad inc.<br />
PANEL DISCUSSIONS :<br />
male perspective on adoption<br />
grief in adoption<br />
changes in adoption<br />
MAIN GUEST SPEAKER :<br />
TOM O'BRIEN M.D.<br />
SEARCH WORKSHOP AVAILAPLE<br />
social hour at poolaide 5:OO to 6:30 pm<br />
REGISTRATION FORM<br />
(Registration must be received by October 10, 1983)<br />
Name(s) Telephone ( )<br />
Address<br />
Organization affiliation<br />
I am Adoption Professfonal<br />
Adoptee<br />
- Birthparent<br />
Other (please specify)<br />
Cftv - State ZID .<br />
Address<br />
Adoptive Parent Registration fee: . $30/person, $45/couple There wi 1 1<br />
be an additional charge of $5/person for late registrations<br />
(received after Oct. 10). A luncheon, poolside,<br />
is included in the reyistration costs.<br />
- Enclosed: $ , registration for - people.<br />
37z<br />
Please make checks payable to Region 9, AAC, and return with registration form to SEARCH<br />
TRIAD, P. 0. Box 1432, Litchfield Park, <strong>AZ</strong> 85340. SEARCH'S phone numher is (602) 935-9702.
Leslie Carter<br />
Jan kahl<br />
(evenings)<br />
.loAnne Lee<br />
(eveings ONLY)<br />
Karen Tinkham<br />
(9 am to NOON)<br />
Ann Mehrtens<br />
Maurice Trager<br />
Barb Wodrich<br />
Dorothy Foster 969-6042<br />
Birthparent-Adoptee<br />
Vi Pierce 972-3483<br />
Birthparent<br />
Lorraine Kazmier 838-4270<br />
Adoptive Parent<br />
Fairy Mae Mckiernan 944-4729<br />
Adoptive Parent Class<br />
Diane Ecks tein 277-7138<br />
Individual & Family<br />
Counseling<br />
PLEASE BE CONSIDERATE WHEN CALLING THE ABOVE NUMBERS. If an<br />
individual has requested calls during certain hours only, PLEASE observe<br />
those hours.<br />
Hope to see you all on October 13th. Election night is an important one,<br />
why not support the new officers with your attendance, give them your vote<br />
o£ confidence.<br />
"I hw#fne ir'r kd110ty. I nnumkr my/rhn'r<br />
halr mrruplont .lo /rll out."<br />
"No morrcr what mlour or cnrdchlldnn on,<br />
q 1.: hcncorh h 011 rhcy'rr 1rolian.Amnicon."<br />
...<br />
I<br />
RON-PROFIT 0RO.t<br />
U.. S. Poathe<br />
Forwarding and Return<br />
Postage Guaranteed<br />
LTtcKflcld Patli, '<strong>AZ</strong> 85320<br />
Pormit No. 8
. .<br />
. .<br />
.... . . . . .<br />
. .<br />
. . . ,<br />
. . . . . . . Litchf ield Park, Arizona 85340 . .<br />
. .<br />
. .<br />
. . .<br />
602 935-9702 . '<br />
. . .<br />
.<br />
. . .<br />
. . .<br />
. . . .-. . . . .<br />
. .<br />
., (9a.m. '<br />
to ~oon) . . . . . .<br />
. .<br />
~ol. VIII No. 6<br />
~aren Tinkham<br />
Executive Director<br />
Dorothy Poster<br />
President<br />
Policyi <strong>Search</strong> <strong>Triad</strong> Inc., founded by Ginger Gibson Rogers in May<br />
of 1976, is an independent, non profit organization offering<br />
a free service of idea exchange, volunteer support and<br />
educational guidelines in the adoption triangle. We are a<br />
member of the American Adoption Congress, a national<br />
organization whose aim is to promote openness, honesty and<br />
sound practices in adoption. It is a coalition of individuals<br />
and groups across the country dedicated to the needs of the<br />
adoption community past, present and future.<br />
We offer an open meeting to adults in search, although we do<br />
not advocate birthparents searching for minors or mindro<br />
.. searching for birthparents. Counseling is available.<br />
"To forget one's ancestors is to be a brook without<br />
a source, a tree without root."<br />
'-~hinese, Proverb :<br />
. .<br />
.<br />
. .<br />
. .<br />
: .. . .<br />
. . . . .<br />
NEXT MEETING<br />
FUTURE MEETINGS<br />
December 8th at 7:30pm<br />
All Saints' Episcopal Church<br />
January 12<br />
Manning Hall February 9<br />
6300 North Central Avenue<br />
Phoenix March 8<br />
Executive Board meets at April 12<br />
6:30 sharp!<br />
May 10<br />
This month we will have<br />
reunions, updates, search<br />
June 14<br />
assistance and a time to<br />
socialize. We always seem<br />
to rushed at meetings. This<br />
month we plan to take time<br />
to enjoy a cup of Brim. If<br />
you make a special goodie<br />
at holiday time why not<br />
bring a small sample to the<br />
meeting. See you then!<br />
When you put up your new<br />
1984 calendar, don't forget<br />
to mark meeting night so you<br />
won't miss anything.<br />
We can't always depend on the<br />
newsletter arriving before<br />
meeting night, so don't wait<br />
for that to be your reminder.<br />
Warmest seasons greetings to all of you and make 1984 a good one!<br />
Would you in your wildest dreams imagine anyone leaving Phoenix for<br />
Minneapolis, Minnesota.,..in the middle of winter? Well, Gary and Lesley<br />
Carter are doing exactly that. Gary has been offered a Job by a bank<br />
in Minneapolis that he just couldn't refuse. We are very excited that; this<br />
career opportunity has happened for Gary but we will miss them both. Gary<br />
was Just elected our treasurer, Les was elected our recordingsecretary.<br />
Gary has also been responsible for updating our membership list, doing- labels<br />
for the newsletter, constantly on call for panel duty. Les has headed our<br />
Speakers Bureau pnd has been a valuable search assistant as well as our<br />
greeter at meetings. Two dear friends of <strong>Search</strong> <strong>Triad</strong> have left us and we<br />
wish them well.<br />
OVERDUE BOOKS:. Jan Rosscup (JULY) t Josephine Carterette (Aug) and Nancy<br />
Miller (Oct). Please remember that you are expected to return books the<br />
month after they are checked out. A $1 fine per book per month will be<br />
charged if your books are overdue, The money from fines will go toward<br />
new books.
October was the month we held our general election to choose our officers<br />
for the coming year. After the election was held, the new officers met<br />
with the Executive Director to decide on the Board Members at Large. The<br />
new Executive Board of Directors includes:<br />
President - Dorothy Foster<br />
Vice President - Ann Mehrtens<br />
Treasurer - Gary Carter<br />
Corresponding Secretary - Rhondalee Rohleder<br />
Recording Secretary - Lesley Carter<br />
Executive Director - Karen Tinkham<br />
Past President - Maurice Trager<br />
Past President - Barb Wodrich<br />
Past President - Lorraine Kazmier<br />
Board Members at Large - Dr. Bill Friedman, Audrey Kreft, JoAnne Lee,<br />
Jim Lincoln and Sue Mills<br />
rt<br />
~ccordin~ to the Constitution of <strong>Search</strong> <strong>Triad</strong> Inc., Chapter I1 Of ficers<br />
Section 5 C, Vacancies: Should a vacancy occur among the officers, the<br />
Executive Board shall appoint an individual to fill the<br />
unexpired term of off ice.<br />
The Executive Board will appoint a new treasurer and recording secretary<br />
at our Board Meeting on December 8th. We regretfully accept the resignations<br />
of Gary Carter and Lesley Carter.<br />
CONGRATULATIONS.....<br />
To former Board Member Kathie Roheim and husband John on the birth of their<br />
son Jonathan born October 24th. Jonathan weighed in at 9# 1 oz. We know<br />
Kathie will be busy the next few months but we hope to see her back when<br />
things calm down at home!<br />
To Joellen Osman who was named,bythe Arizona Republic as a Volunteer of the<br />
Week. Joellen is a registered nurse working at St. Joseph's Hospital<br />
and conducts health assessment screenings Wednesday mornings at Rainbow<br />
Retreat, a crisis shelter for abused women and their children.<br />
To ''Dear Abby" for finally recognizing Emma Vilardi and her International<br />
Soundex Reunion Registry. Emma has had over 5,000 responses in the first<br />
week and reports that the overwhelming number are from birthparents. 997.<br />
of those writing in are including self addressed stamped envelopes and<br />
some are including donations (which are now tax deductible folks!). Emma<br />
has been contacted by UP1 for a story, by a Los Angeles paper for a story,<br />
and will soon no doubt become a household word. Don't forget to write<br />
Abby a thank you note for the mention of the ISRR.<br />
To Karen Tinkham for getting her call in on the Larry King talk show the<br />
night Artie of the Golden Cradle Agency was guest. Karen mentioned the<br />
ISRR and hopefully exposed people to something they can use as a tool in<br />
locating their lost family.<br />
To <strong>Search</strong> <strong>Triad</strong> for hosting a great American Adoption Conference Region 9<br />
Conference on October 22nd. We had 102 people register for the conference<br />
and were very excited by the excellent representation of the adoption agencies<br />
wlthin our state. Of those in attendance, 377. were adoptees, 137. were<br />
adoptive parents, 207. were birthparents and 147. were social workers. Special<br />
thanks to our people who were responsible for many donations - Barb Wodrich,<br />
Lorraine Kazmier, Rev. B. Swan, Colleen Campbell, Audrey Kreft, Dorothy<br />
Foster, Nancy Miller, Virginia Rocco, Sandy Tarzwell's mom Elaine Mase,<br />
Charlie Tinkham and Ann Fabricant.<br />
One of the panels during the AAC Conference was Grief in Adoption. Our<br />
member Pat Goosherst of Bfsbee couldn't attend but did submit his feelings<br />
on paper and has given us permission to print them in this newsletter:
I am a birthfather of a child relinquished through adoptinn 16 years<br />
ago. The child was a baby girl, She weighed 66 14 oz. and had light hair<br />
and undoubtedly had hazel-blue eyes. We didn't have the strength to face<br />
her at birth, The experience was a very difficult one to bear.<br />
The circumstances were that Judy and I were high school sweethearts and<br />
very much in love. We were only 15 and 16 during the time of the pregnancy.<br />
Judy left high school and spent the last part of her pregnancy at a home for<br />
unwed mothers.<br />
I can look back and remember wanting to blame anyone but myself. I recall<br />
shouting out to my own mother, holding her responsible, "You gave up your<br />
grandaughter, how could you do this!" I wasn't able to face the reality of what<br />
had happened or what had been lost. Directing the blame at my mother didn't last<br />
very long. She was in enough pain Just Feeling ours,<br />
After the relinquishment, Judy and I continued to see each other. It wasn't<br />
until 2 years had passed that the subject of our experience was never brought<br />
up again, We both kept her seperately inside of us, knowing all to well that<br />
talking about her only signaled hurt.<br />
The remorse and pain you experience giving your child up penetrates deep<br />
into your heart. So deep your only defense is to build your walls so high that<br />
memory can't creep in.<br />
Eventually, Judy and I married. We now have three beautiful daughters.<br />
Sisters whom have an older missing link, seperated from the ~ldest by only<br />
2 and 'a half years and birthparents who have never forgotten the love of<br />
their first born.<br />
I never felt that what took place 16 years ago could ever have such a<br />
piercing impact. I thought my pain had settled. I thought my walls of defense<br />
were built of iron. I didn't think I'd ever break, never look back, but the<br />
walls finally crumbled.<br />
I was on a business trip this February, While traveling between Flagstaff<br />
and Albuquerque, unexpectedly, a tremor of heartbreak suddenly swept my mind<br />
and body. Months had passed since I had even thought about her. The feeling<br />
was one of desperation, a feeling to get fntouch. So strong my inner psychic<br />
self responded by answering. Assuring her that we will find her, "whereever<br />
you are:' ''NO need to w: orry, we will find you - hold on!" I was very devastated<br />
and very confused! This feeling had me totally mystified. I had always prayed<br />
and hoped that one day we would be united with her, but I never would have<br />
thought the urgency would be so amplified.<br />
The experience has intensified our search. A search now that may go on<br />
for years hoping to find an end. An end to our anxiety, the feelings and questions<br />
that we hope someday will be answered. If we could only peek over the walls that<br />
seperate the truth, regardless of the consequences, a completeness we feel is<br />
essential to go on through life.<br />
I only hope soon, the law mkers of our land will enact tangable regulations<br />
about adoption. Laws which will free and open adoption as it stands today, God<br />
help us all!<br />
You see, the product we created was a part of us, a piece of our hearts!<br />
To give something of yourself, a part of you closer than words can describe - is<br />
-<br />
not easy! People should know more of what is really at stake. The emotional<br />
attachments that can never be severed, the memory that can' t :be erased and the<br />
love that can't be felt but only as pain and remorse,<br />
I understand the need for adoption, I only wish we could remove the bars<br />
that seperate consideration to birthparents. I can readily except that our child<br />
has her own set of parents but I can't except the terms handed down. Terms that<br />
place us apart by laws which can only be considered inhumane! Our product wasn't<br />
something that could be brought just anywhere, it's not something that you keep<br />
forever.<br />
We're all here on borrowed time, it eventually ends. When we leave this<br />
earth we don't take them with us. Why not open your hearts and understand, understand<br />
this product your involved with is not Just a concerned quotation. This product<br />
is as human as the lives that created it! There .are two other very important lives<br />
to consider, the mother and father.<br />
I only wish I could share this love inside - to release the emotions that have<br />
nested inside me for a long time. I feel Like 1'm serving a prison sentence.<br />
I can't go on -<br />
* I k M<br />
What lies behind us and what Lies before us are<br />
small matters compared to what lies within us.<br />
Ralph Waldo Emerson
"<br />
8 ' ' >, ' , ,.<br />
r I , A<br />
81<br />
,4<br />
Articles - The Baby Brokers by Barbara Lovenheim<br />
REDBOOK Oct 83 page 102<br />
Reunion Story of Hugh Hefner and Son by Gail Buchalter<br />
PEOPLE December 5, 83 page 44<br />
REUNIONS SINCE THE OCTOBER NEWSLETTER:<br />
4 ' t<br />
Michael Dunn joined us last February. He was born in Phoenix and was very<br />
fortunate to have much information. He has located his mother, made contact<br />
by phone and was given a warm response. He has since received a letter. They<br />
both feel good about the contact but want to go slowly. They will meet in the<br />
near future.<br />
Alberta Wales lives in the Los Angeles area but relinquished two children<br />
through Family Services in Phoenix. She located them in southern California.<br />
Alberta decided to write and send photos rather than calling and she has not<br />
had a response yet, We hope to hear something soon1<br />
Pam Kemper lives in Topeka, Kansas but relinquished a daughter through Family<br />
Services in Phoenix. She has been searching for ages and was given much<br />
assistance and support by Colleen Campbell. Pam's daughter has been found in<br />
Phoenix, positive contact was made and we hope to meet Sara at our December<br />
meeting. Sara, her husband and new baby flew to Kansas for a reunion, that<br />
included the birthfather who flew in from San Francisco.<br />
Colleen Campbell has located her daughter in Minnesota and made contact with<br />
the adoptive mother. Contact with the daughter will be made later, the door<br />
has not been closed. Colleen was encouraged that her agency did forward to<br />
the adoptive family, a copy of Lorraine Kazmier's Open Letter to Adoptive Parents.<br />
. .<br />
Kathie Neal relinquished her daughter in Tucson and after years of searching<br />
has found Karen. She now lives in Kansas and a reunion is scheduled for<br />
the Christmas holidays. The response was everything Kathie had prayed for<br />
and we all hope the pictures arrive by the December meeting1<br />
Marylee MacDonald lives in Urbana, Xllinois but we had a chance to meet her<br />
when she flew in for the AAC Conference. She relinquished her son through<br />
Catholic Charities in Phoenix and has found him in Washington. He grew up<br />
in a family of 8 children, put himself through college, works for Arthur<br />
Anderson, is married and is flying to Urbana over Christmas to meet his mother1<br />
Carolyn Kersten lives in Taos, New Mexico and has found her large extended<br />
family all over the state of Arizona. Her birthmother lives in Las Vegas,<br />
Carolyn was raised with her sister but knew a large family of siblings<br />
were scattered. An ad in the Bisbee paper drew a response %noneof her<br />
siblings adopted mother. A reunion in Phoenix is planned soonll<br />
Faith Goff Just Joined us two months ago but has found her mother in<br />
Michigan. Phone contact has been made, much sharing went on, now Faith<br />
is waiting for a letter. Waiting is the hard part.<br />
Bill Ray has found his mother in Santa Aria, California, He was given<br />
assistance by an ISC person in Oklahoma and his mother was found shortly<br />
after he rec'v his original birth certificate. No details of the reunion.<br />
Another wonderful reunion has taken place. Judy Schmitz is not a member of<br />
our group, but learned about the AAC Conference through the publication<br />
OPEN ARMS. She attended, was referred to an ISC person in Wisconsin who<br />
located her daughter in St. Louis, A wonderful phone reunion will be<br />
followed by a meeting in St. Louis. We hope Judy will share at a future<br />
meeting.<br />
**<br />
Naomi Jeffries-Kline, a licensed Marriage, Family 6 Child Therapist, is<br />
conducting a study on the various aspects of adoption. If you are over ,/<br />
I<br />
18 and entered your adoptive family before 1 year of age, we would urge<br />
you to participate. Write to Naomi at 727 Mayfield Ave. Stanford, Ca 94305.<br />
/<br />
This affords you an excellent opportunity to share your adoption experience.<br />
More news next month.....happy holidays to you all...,see you on the 8th.<br />
Special welcomc to all of you who found us because of the Pat McMahon Showl<br />
377
-<br />
HOW current laws affect genealogy own past," the writer slates, "adoptecs<br />
and adoptees is the topic of en article in are forced into an 'originator' position -<br />
letter f- written by a concerned gene- the 'Adams and Eves' of a new genealogalogist<br />
and published in the August 1983 lcnl line. In at least one stete, adoptees<br />
issue of The Ohio Genealogical Society's are even rohibited by law from becom-<br />
Newsletter (P.O. pox ze25, Mansfieid inB adop 8 ng parenkl" The matters of<br />
OH ~m), In particular, the laws of ohlo single parent adoptions and the surro.<br />
are cited as they relate to this matter, Bate parent Process are elso briefly dis-<br />
'<br />
but il is polnted out that sealing of rec- cussed.<br />
ords is taking place in other states as<br />
well, leaving present generation adoptees,<br />
in particular, no recourse (even b<br />
court order) for obtaining original birt<br />
certificates ..<br />
and information.<br />
"Without the right to examine their<br />
A bill recently signed into law in Callfornia<br />
relates to adoption records. A<br />
newspaper summary of the bill states<br />
that it establishes a system to allow children<br />
born and put up for adoption, beginning<br />
in 1084, to try to track down thelr<br />
biological parents.<br />
Provisions of the new law are that at<br />
the time a child is put up for adoption,<br />
the natural parents will sign a statement<br />
indicating whether they ever want their<br />
names released to the child. If the par:<br />
ents agree, the adoptee can obtain the iw<br />
fotma~ion upon request at age 21.<br />
Present laws require. the adoptive<br />
child, biological parepta and adoptive<br />
rents to go,to the slate and sign a conbntisl<br />
reque8t before they can be introduced,<br />
a rocess that lawmaketi said<br />
resulted o 3 y in two reunions in two<br />
;Elderly mom is reunited<br />
;with .<br />
'<br />
. kids after 44 . years<br />
.<br />
Hsr nlnr chlldtrn - agn 3 In<br />
'"ldren were put<br />
16<br />
- r wed In an orphana t<br />
:into orphanage after brrrur a{; bar unable lo can for<br />
them and Ihrb lather had dlu<br />
laulo struck woman WI~. Onr nn army lrom I&';<br />
ltid I',," lnVrulkn.l<br />
ORLANIK), Fir. - An alllng<br />
.81. eat.old molher was reuni~rd<br />
:.ilk eight of htr children Friday in<br />
a arul m e n 4 ears alttr thr<br />
:laniilynat rrparatrdb;y trmpdy.<br />
: Lllit Gtn was greeltd by<br />
.smiling lant and huts lrom wna<br />
:and daughlrn ,he hadn't uenrinr#<br />
.IDS, rhrn aha sbpprd all a plant<br />
:at iha O~lando lnternatlonal Air.<br />
:porr.<br />
: rn 'pkr health. Crern uemtd<br />
;o*rrmmt by ihr tvenb.<br />
' "I'm M lraud." aha uid bran.<br />
:~q.~~t'a akauti~u~ ~utpriu."<br />
'<br />
Ethel Swain, 61, one 01 Grren'e<br />
Mbn rho mrdinatrd the<br />
nunlon uid her molhrr was '*w iil,<br />
she proLbly ahwldn't havr made<br />
the trip" horn bcr Lome In Rhodc<br />
bland.<br />
Family tin wefa uverrd In 1939<br />
when Crtm, dlwrcd md holding<br />
dan thrre job In aupprt her<br />
Ismily, wn wucL by I ur and<br />
mriwl injutrd !a aha rods I<br />
.blqck h ~ackaonnll., FI~.<br />
31<br />
bme (o rejoin her mother rho wn<br />
reculrrating in Rhodt lnhnd, and<br />
the olhet eighl rrre adopbd by<br />
(amilier arrw Flotidr.<br />
Txenty.srvrn yrars laltr, Rwaln<br />
txgan a uaah lor her hmlly. Over<br />
Lhr ran. ~ hc Iwnd thrrr brolhrn<br />
- {ommy Ramrey. 61. 01 LI~C<br />
City. Ft.. Charles Clark. M. 01<br />
AnnLlon. Ala.. and Wedr I)r.<br />
Clan r, who lited in ~iaml Ra..<br />
until\l, death latl year.<br />
In addition. two ai~ltra nttt<br />
found - Rulh &hlllecl, S6, 01<br />
Auhrry, Trses, and 1.Inda Can,<br />
brll. 41, rho was born afut 11;<br />
accidcnl and 1it.u nilh her molher<br />
in Rhodr 11land.<br />
Wllh help from r~ord~ a1 lht<br />
orphanage and olhct ltadt. a<br />
broUIrr Wood We~ler 413, SI<br />
Iwnd /a11 wek In &brln FII<br />
Two eisbrt - Faith L~Rwkr, 9.<br />
d Metrin Island. and Palticia<br />
Gala. 47,ol Tampa - rrrt lound<br />
Thurdey elur nrss aprr rrrounb<br />
01 he reunion pens.<br />
Swain uld family mtmbrn havr<br />
"no lead," on tfu only ftmaining<br />
mlulngal~br, Janet.<br />
MOTHEROOT<br />
Crealion oftsn<br />
needs two hearts<br />
om lo root<br />
and om b/lower<br />
One to sustuin<br />
in time qfdmth<br />
and holdfxit<br />
against winds qfpain<br />
the fragile bloom<br />
Ural tn the glory<br />
ojh hour<br />
a i m a heart<br />
umng, unseen<br />
-Marilou Awiakta<br />
ADIDINO APPALACHIA<br />
3<br />
+<br />
I<br />
I<br />
Women top 4<br />
--&<br />
adoption<br />
\<br />
inquiries<br />
Fewer than half the adopted<br />
people seeking a- to binh<br />
records inlend to traa their<br />
parents, accordin to fieurrr 4<br />
ublished yester d ay by ihe<br />
f;rillsh A~encies for Adoption<br />
and Fostering.<br />
The I982 statis(fcs, published 2<br />
in tlle agencies'<br />
journal. Ado lion an Bu-ly Fosterlng,<br />
show t R at, of the 1,864<br />
people who applied for amss to<br />
records, 1,487 wanted binh<br />
certificates, 1,191 wanted further<br />
information from court 0<br />
records and 726 intended to<br />
trace their parents.<br />
Under the Childmn Act,<br />
1975, everyone who applies for > 3<br />
information must fint see social 0<br />
workers.<br />
Of those who applied last<br />
year. 1,056 were women and the<br />
peak age was around 30.<br />
A encies believe that is when<br />
w o have ken adopted wish to 3<br />
a<br />
tell their children about their 6<br />
origins.<br />
F<br />
MI John Stmud, assistant<br />
director of Hertfordshire social<br />
services, yys in the journal that<br />
the ngcncles should give more d<br />
_2:<br />
help 10 put parents and p<br />
adoptees in touch with each<br />
other especially if parenu have<br />
a genct~cally transmitted disease.<br />
Adoption and Fostering vol 7,<br />
no Street, 2: London. (BAAF. SEI 11 IRQ; Southwark £2.75,<br />
including postage).<br />
YOUR RIGHTS TO YOUR<br />
MEDICAL RECORDS<br />
Suppose you want a copy of the reccord<br />
of your treatment in a hospital or<br />
doctor's office. You've never really thought about your righb<br />
to your medical records before. Cnn you get the recorde?<br />
In about half the stoh, the law gumantees your right to<br />
obtain a hoepita] recod when you wish it. Fewer states dow<br />
accetm to recorde of doctore who are in private practice. However,<br />
in all etatea, the law requb a hcepital or physician to<br />
mnd your medical mrds or a summary of thaa recolds to<br />
another physician or to a lawyer, if you authorize the release<br />
in writing.<br />
Theee facts come from the N m York City-bawd Center for<br />
Medical Commem, Inc., which offere these additional suggrretiona<br />
about your records and keeping youreelf informed<br />
nbout your medical cam:<br />
@Ask your dodor for a.copy of your recorde. Many phyeicians<br />
am more than .&lling to provide the mrde, regnrd-<br />
1, of the h in their Rtate:The American Medical<br />
Aesocintion, for example, urges doctors to comply with pntfonh'<br />
mqueete for their record@.<br />
Don't t6ke "No" for an nmer If you know that your stote<br />
provides acrres to your records. (Call your &ate attorney's of-<br />
&a for guidnnce.)<br />
I f you live in a etntc thnt does not gunrantee you a m to<br />
your &rda, enk mother phyaicinn if he or 8he will accept<br />
your records and turn them over to you. It's one way b<br />
J) circumvent the syatem.<br />
@Keep copies of your own X rays by nrrnnging to have<br />
duplicntee mode when the X rays ara perfotmed (you will<br />
#<br />
3<br />
* Your<br />
have to py an additional fee). 'l'hi~ ala helpa reduce expo<br />
the potential hatarde of dingnostic X rays (see<br />
HOW Much Exposure te Tm Much?" in t h hue).<br />
For mom infomuhon on a- to medical r~cordR,<br />
copy of the booklet 'Your Righb to Your Medical Recorde;<br />
order a<br />
&hb rn a Medical Patient" from the Center lor Md.<br />
(C! ad Conaumen. 237 Thompson St, New 'fork, IW 10012.<br />
hcioee $2.26 with your order.
Dear<br />
Abby<br />
Ablgall Van Buren<br />
Mother yearns to meet -<br />
child pd up for adoption<br />
r<br />
. DEAR ABBY: Nineteen earn ago, m parents forced<br />
me to give up a baby girl or adoption L use I wan 16<br />
and unmarried. I was very bitter at the time because I<br />
wanted to keep my child, but I realize my parents did<br />
what they thought was best for me.<br />
1 am now a happily married mother of three, but my<br />
nightly prayer is to meet my first-born child. I have no<br />
desire to surpriee her with a telephone call or an<br />
unexpected visit. I want to meet her only if she wants<br />
to meet me.<br />
1 heard that 'there is a national organization with<br />
whom prents and adopted children may register, and<br />
if all parties agroe ta meet, they may do no.<br />
1 am nnt a wealthy Demon, Abby, but 1 would gladly<br />
pby a fee. Thanks for any help you-can give me.<br />
My Nightly Prayer<br />
DEAR PRAYER: There is euch an orianhtion. It itx<br />
International Sounder Reunion Registry, P.O. Box<br />
2912, Carson City, Nev. 89702.<br />
I have checked the organization out and have found<br />
it to be a le itimate, nnn-profit corporation that<br />
provides .this c k axitable, humanitarian newice gratis.<br />
Contributions are welcome in order to keep the<br />
aperation going, but no fee is ckrged for services.<br />
For a regiatration form, write to the above address<br />
ind pl- enclone a long, stamped, eelf-addreaaed<br />
envelope. Good luck and Cod bleed.<br />
nr S~ndcllr. lw, .IO-LS<br />
"Charlie. - -<br />
Incredible ne,ws! ~etlred'nurne confesse~ shd<br />
. swltched babies ai birth as joke! Uncle 8111 Is rerlly<br />
Oscar Le Blong, who dled 1980 leaving wife<br />
mllllon dollars, house, 3 gas statlonsl If she<br />
hadn't switched, I'd be on Easy Street1 Some joke,<br />
huh?<br />
Aunt Eva"<br />
I<br />
Emma Vilardi told us that she<br />
received over 5,000 pieces of<br />
mail the first week after this<br />
column appeared, Finally<br />
Emma is receiving some of<br />
the recognition she deserves1<br />
Why not drop a thank you note<br />
to "Dear Abby" I<br />
Ah'OTIIEII RE,\I)EIl wrote to bring my attention to EMMA<br />
\'IL:\RI)I, u Carson City resident who founded the INTERNATIONAL<br />
SOtlSDEX ItEl'YIOS ItI.;tiISTHY in 1975. As you might recall, this<br />
Registry is lor adoplees who aresearching for their real parenls. Or,<br />
for parents who are searching for children that they many years<br />
earlier had put up for adoption.<br />
There arc some 1.1.000 registrants in the lSRR at present and all<br />
registered free of charge. The organization depends entirely upon<br />
donations to pay its expenses and Mrs. Vilardi draws no salary of any<br />
kind.<br />
Local resident GEORGE ANTHONY, In bringing Mrs. Vilardi's<br />
good work lo my atlention, said that, "Her's is a truly humanilarian<br />
cause that hrlp!: our country's adoptees and all of those others touched<br />
by adoption." '<br />
As an example 01 its sUccess, over a two year period from the fall<br />
of 1980 through 1982.7,922 peoplereglstered in the ISRR and a total of<br />
172 "matches" occurred.<br />
Anthony, a retired iournalist. serves as a trustee for ISRR and Is<br />
its Public ~iforrnation brricer. HC recently wrote a piece about Emma<br />
Vilardi's work to aid adoptees that was published in thesummer issue<br />
of OPEN AR~IS QCARTERI.~, publistid in NORTI! PLA~E,<br />
NEB.<br />
So, the word is certainly spreading about Emma and the work she has<br />
done for adoptecs and their parenls. We're happy she calls Carson City<br />
her home.<br />
I<br />
Il..Y<br />
"Which parent do you want to sign It:<br />
my natural father, my atep father, my<br />
mother's third husband, my real<br />
mother or m y natural father's fourth<br />
wife who lives with us?"
J<br />
3<br />
Many 'achievers' cheat<br />
in school, poll reveals<br />
Auurittlcd I'rw<br />
LAKE FOREST, Ill. - Nearly a<br />
third of 2,000 teen-age hih achievera<br />
admitted in a survey that they<br />
chat in schwl, end a majority mid<br />
parents, teachem and religim leadem<br />
ahould share the mpnnnibility<br />
for tcaching children not to.<br />
Yet, although 32 percent mid<br />
they cheated, almost as many, 28<br />
percent, said they hnd never done<br />
9 no. Thirty-eight percent said they<br />
d<br />
hod cheated in the past but did not<br />
make a practice of it now.<br />
The 14th annunl survey of the<br />
4 ~tudent leader8 listed in the new<br />
c edition of Who's Who Among<br />
.8 Americ:?n H2h Schml Students<br />
was conducted last summer hy tho<br />
Q hnnk's puhlisher, Educational Communicat.ions<br />
lnc.; of Lake Forest<br />
Three-fourtha of the ree ndenta<br />
replrtd that they never Ew had<br />
sexual internurse. Fifty percent of<br />
thm who mid they have had MI<br />
mid they did not une birth mntrol<br />
every time, with 26 percent taking<br />
no precautiom at al.<br />
Half of the girls surveyed mid<br />
they would want to get married if<br />
~ y t .<br />
they became 33 pant<br />
mid they w dn t take the plunge<br />
because tbey are too young, 33 percent<br />
mid they woukl have the baby<br />
and raiee it alone if<br />
Twenty-five percent 8 m y<br />
would have an abortion.<br />
Do// con tinues<br />
to create fuss<br />
Assoclated Press Meerfleld, manager of<br />
An Industry spokesman Toys by ROY In Albuquerclalmed<br />
no toy ever que,N.M.<br />
this much Since the start of the<br />
chaos," as officials re- Christmas shopplng seaported<br />
at least 10 lnluries son Frlday, thousands of<br />
and two arrests natton- people have clawed thelr<br />
wlde in the clamor for the way through packed de.<br />
homely but lovable rag partment stores in quest<br />
dolls known as the "Cab- of the dolls, the brain.<br />
The results were released Mondav.<br />
~btige Patch Klds." chlldren of arttst Xavler<br />
Scventy-three percent of ihe A financial analyst said Roberts. Untll thls year<br />
students, askd a wide variety of.<br />
the boom In the dolls is they were available only<br />
questions, snid that teen-agera are<br />
providing a happy Yule- In Ilmlted, hand-made<br />
~ t as . bad as ndults think they are<br />
tide bundle for their man. verslons costlng $125 and<br />
and thnt adulb trnd tn pay more<br />
ufactuier, Coleco Indus- up. The doll, whlch came<br />
nttentitw tn t.he tn)uhlemakem. trles Inc. on the market this spring,<br />
'W criminsl intent,' A t ttonw R ,lbllu<br />
p@secutor believes<br />
3%~<br />
couple who kept child in 'cage'<br />
for month may escape charges<br />
lrWM<br />
aHah uail d lhe aatnl pdlm U* krmenL<br />
CJAYTON, MO. - ~ i w SL yaw uid ~u awt wit &I& *on dv~ia<br />
Lqir Gnmly proecuhc &did whether b nlurn Ahno La Lh &l. n hid hL uxa lo Uu<br />
W M ~ Y ~JI c h i ~ . a ~<br />
w h yrM a mupla who krpl oud. m arly r Vriday.)auld. b U* banal whkh<br />
LhJldopcrdla.~~14d*umn. m~pk~a~~lwcbn. ~(behndmSa&-.-<br />
sells for between $18 and<br />
8.3<br />
to<br />
Although<br />
shlp 2.5 mllllon<br />
Coleco<br />
of<br />
plans<br />
the<br />
dolls by the end of the<br />
d an<br />
~pdoptlon.~<br />
Huuo= &&Ion mJd b rrc d Lh bar. b pmv(dirl 8<br />
The excitement 1s over<br />
hair and butstretched<br />
IbeboerbMyandLknn(M*4 nab ud rr opm a Lh<br />
that come with<br />
n m umtrd and birth certlflcates, dlspo~a.<br />
,I@, .n ble diapers and detalled<br />
a hnhly deprlnd ducl~rm. Irm. wn)mou mlkr drud iht<br />
rhrlrrmm*(h.mbow DivibadPltlilyBs~dlhr<br />
flngers and toes. Computmn-mL<br />
ers deslgn the dolls' feam&our~rdandm~rh~,a%<br />
OfkUdAhrokJd~nik tUres, glvlng each a<br />
fin(db=bl~dhdlcd*d- dnn,.Lad@d.nnhhlmm. h rid .Ib firoom hd<br />
"q" In Or bmnt d lJICb<br />
W OTTwWs uld. @Id@.<br />
Tht fid hp~lo. rr nb *Wa(rkdlor20mon(h,lnmr).<br />
lu411."<br />
lln Mwm<br />
prormbr Ceom"Bun* nay rr cauld. b help wr chlld, In nkrd hldq b~ offlcan who<br />
W&II UI~. WUI .hat frrrm rr ,,,,b.hv&u. U. h1<br />
b r MIY dlwUa rr ~ 1 1 ~<br />
amW pm jdpnn~<br />
Qirh hrrnoalor,"b UI brhdingahir~d~<br />
&%~~nt~ifthrnnn.<br />
thm rr mniminrl inbnL" ~ I mill W at how a(L. dlitn uut hb pnnh bd ma.<br />
h n f U. Mu-. n, a Bt rtmh la Cdombla, Rwlh A m h find Urn la n mmIb 11 Or aab.<br />
I+ rum, ?id WW~ ~nuypl.a*~,"Mm~. II* cu whn b. .r alkral<br />
$25.<br />
;;;,;:o,lie:;yu;e;E<br />
demand.<br />
16-111ch do118 with yarn ' C.O.B.<br />
appearance,<br />
"TO THE ~hlld, it's llke<br />
(M:lc and bir wile. M a w & A py)al bl mrmn*a (b. no bm4 ndb. 10511 a little person," said Brad<br />
w:mly alIanpUrq lo cami h*Mt. a?ing la "~tuddlh malw(rorblk<br />
u* ddiviplLYry pm&m d d privllqr and 6s dlhdd d Tb bq bd k n alkral La ;<br />
A M Richard, whom Lhay Unr pddkgm in nlurn fnvhtl *m the I lo albnd elus at<br />
.~ff *I h n 1- pn c dl d u *.m* mo~r+cma~ ~uld"funiu ~igh BIM IW<br />
boy nllvlnd In lmw un family bluvlm," M u d d . U* Ilnl Lhnr rab d hit hprb<br />
W&wday, reordin# b Rfi Guy Ha uU prt 01 lhr (rulmrnl onmeal. pdim LL Richrrd O%n.<br />
Yoi~y, wpelVbor 01 the juwnlk. . ulbd la Ula boy b be rmlinsll b notukl.<br />
Report on 'forgotten' children shakes British<br />
LONDON (UPI) - Thm vr<br />
qulUd)<br />
"WI in lrad with I ma<br />
me IM,Kxl "lo oth" childn.<br />
wrn lim, pdim uuh~<br />
Lh. Imm prnblrm. Rcd lkhu an bhily of<br />
staie.wn m 7mtar ~ ~ mb<br />
m<br />
and Wala - avny bon<br />
Tewypandy. wpaak~r Caorg~<br />
wr people," h uld. "Wh11 batI" d<br />
*About 1M.W suKend b a<br />
wl d wrdlork, m a abndarS<br />
~dUinHmancdCapm~<br />
lemmmr ~ ir chn if Uur yar .<br />
ddlvom: ~. 39.W wn undrr .re h . mkn don't . art<br />
wObrrmdeaUhprlhL<br />
.. bvllu . - an La m%<br />
~<br />
nlhrn viclima 01 may dlvorca pr,lLLddlwnIul~nrwr+L.<br />
.~~,b,, 29W &;, La them whol~~umantrin~s?"<br />
The tradilland i v d B h t '<br />
uro.rpildhorIL)ruIWI:<br />
-<br />
81 a uring naUon w r dppd apr(<br />
Wrdda in a repor( by th *8au 14mo chUdnn wn put<br />
National &ilfinn', H-. a du, bbnrbaud l d ~ m<br />
Un oftanivUnn lhsl am<br />
-<br />
b tnr- a d mdY0.600 t .<br />
mdn thin 7,Wchildni<br />
"Ws R~itith mruldn orrlvr b dnl: IL nun<br />
b a ratin pla who bn JIM- ~~loudI7laabb.<br />
dnn," LmJ Epdi,bld a ~5h(rfk#4Mblm,@ ~~~,,,,d~ ~ ~ i ~ i I ,. ,- lad to imrkber when a<br />
mnlrrrnu mar I 10 qpnb *Ah04 llOmO childne wen<br />
pmbl,m pn, aiticlan hymw rtat in~lilu.<br />
lavd pilly d aipa lM,W ren aril.<br />
Uon 01. ur~ng family fila."<br />
nrnt a, new N C I I ~ X . ~ ~ ~ ~<br />
- - - -- - -<br />
tlt llw Adwu RrpuU* Wrdmry. Novtmbrr b. IBU<br />
Surrogate's suffering<br />
Mother feels guilty over keeping son she had for childless couple<br />
IU*d hr 1nMkrl<br />
Orr, rmpk In tarhanv b shoul 'fiomtllmn I &ink my Gal bby. but I'm tUll auNuriry I 1111 She rrsn hndd Uu 7.pntnd.<br />
CI.FVR1.AND - IlO.C43I bul dnidrd rim chr Lvby mupk,' mh uid. 'Whl rilly hl h briw by nlo my I2.auno child a r La them in I<br />
W e r who isre blrth k ,'"a:".<br />
wts ban hw munth ago b Lnp<br />
Th unidrnUlird rmplt's L.y.r<br />
?ztnlhrm. IIn(hrrihlr1or ...-. II.~<br />
U(dlm muplr hul lsbr dwidrd La<br />
Ih Inhnl hrnrlf uy, her<br />
181nn tn help him makn hr lrl<br />
.@IY. a nrnpnp* nwbd Tun<br />
.may. '<br />
@d~ Ptin d Plain Clly. Ohb.<br />
mm.w~I th child IN I I'nrllmnd.<br />
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