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Search Triad - AZ ~ Pg 318-381 - triadoption

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TRIAD k~d. . . . .: . .<br />

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. . . Box A432 . . . . . .<br />

Litchfield Park,, Arizona 85340 . , . .<br />

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602-935-9702'<br />

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. . Vol. VII Vo,. . 7. January/February 1983<br />

. . . .<br />

Karen Tinlcham<br />

Executive Director<br />

Lorraine liazmier<br />

President<br />

Policy:<br />

<strong>Search</strong> <strong>Triad</strong> Inc. is an independent, non profit<br />

organization offering a free service of idea exchange,<br />

volunteer support and educational guidelines in the<br />

adopiion triangle. We are a member of thd American<br />

Adoption congress, a coalition of individi~als and groups<br />

nationwide who support more openess in adoption.<br />

We offer an open meeting to adults in search, although<br />

we do not advocate birthparents searching for minors or<br />

minors searching for birthparents. Corlnseling is<br />

available.<br />

"To forget one's ancestors is to be a brook<br />

without a source,a tree without root."<br />

-Chinese Proverb<br />

-<br />

NEXT MEETING<br />

February 10th at 7 :30pm<br />

A11 Saints' Episcopal Church<br />

Manning Hall<br />

6300 North Central Avenue<br />

Phoenix<br />

Executive Board meets at 6 :30pm.<br />

General meeting with a sharing of<br />

reunions. <strong>Search</strong> assistance will<br />

be available as well as a pre-reunion<br />

vforkshop and the post-reunion rap<br />

group. Don't forget to bring your<br />

search information.<br />

FUTURE MEETINGS<br />

March 10th<br />

April 7th<br />

May 12th<br />

June 9th<br />

Teen Rap ~roup/Adop tive<br />

Parent Rap Group meets<br />

the 3rd Thursday of every<br />

month. If you are interested<br />

in attending one of these<br />

groups, contact either<br />

Lynne Hellmers at 997-2557<br />

or L.orraine icazmier at<br />

838-3270.<br />

A new workshop will be offered at future meetings of <strong>Search</strong> <strong>Triad</strong>.<br />

Dee Davis and Gladys 1.larrison are sharing the responsibility of<br />

this workshop for those members who feel their reunions are<br />

incomplete or t~nresolved. This is meant to bc,a support group<br />

and hopefully will be a vehicle for healing wounds. Questions?<br />

Give Gladys a call at 838-7228.<br />

Life can only be understood backward; it must be lived forward,<br />

9Yren Mierkgaard<br />

"tle all come from the past, and children oilght to know what it<br />

was,that went into their making, to know that life is a braided<br />

cord of humanity stretching up from time long gone, and that it:<br />

cannot be<br />

.<br />

defined by the span of a single journey from diaper<br />

to shroi~d "<br />

Growing LIJ by Russell Baker<br />

Reviewed in the tlall Street Journal - A1ovember 1982


On January 3rd, Emma Vilardi called to nokify us that Susan<br />

.Rodgers had been matched in the ISRR with her birthmother who<br />

had entered the Soundex thru WAR14 in Washington. Vle enjoyed<br />

having Susan share her story at our January meeting. Siisan's<br />

story will be told on n'BC1s FANTASY which will air on Feb 22nd.<br />

We are very happy that Emma's reunion registry will be given<br />

a most deserved national plug!!<br />

Jim 1,lcDonald journeyed to California over the holidays with his<br />

wife and two daughters and had a chance to meet his aunt, four<br />

cousins and a half brother and half sister. We look forward to<br />

Jim sharing details and pictures at the February meeting.<br />

Pat Bevalaqlla spoke to her birthfather on December 6th. They<br />

now speak on a Weekly baeis and she has learned she has two<br />

brothers and two sisters. A reunion will take place i'n 1.larch<br />

.. in the 14idwest.<br />

Ruth Parker found her birthmother in Florida in 1974. She has<br />

always known she had a younger sister but never contacted her.<br />

Ruth finally felt the time was right and wrote her sister a<br />

letter explaining everything. 1-lonths passed by with no response,<br />

but finally a very warm letter arrived and a relationship is now<br />

developing between these two women.<br />

. ' .<br />

Joan Lee joined us last fall and very quickly located her entire<br />

birth family in Washington. Joan then contacted the show FAA1'l'ASY<br />

and they reunited her *'on airw with both of her birthparents.<br />

Joan's adoptive mom, who lives in the Denver area, was also an<br />

important part of the show that had us all running for the lclcenix<br />

tissiles. Joan also has contact with siblings and will meet tl~em<br />

this slimmer when Fantasy is flying Joan and her family to Seattle<br />

for a reunion. (Editor's apology 2 to both Joan and ICatliy<br />

Chrisman for neglecting to report on your reunions in the Dec news).<br />

Kathy Chrisman has spolc@n with her birthmother - finally -nftcr<br />

several careful conversations with her brother, who knew who<br />

Kathy was but didn't let on. Kathy found her mother so emotional<br />

during the first call that they couldn't talk, The second call.<br />

was very cold, then her mother called her again at a later date<br />

to try and explain things. A solid relationship is being built'<br />

wit11 her brother and time will hopefully help resolve the rest.<br />

Lois McCutcheon travelled from Clinton, Iowa to northern Arkansas<br />

the weekend before her 49th birthday to meet her birthmother<br />

Helen. They had a fantastic reunion! It was interesting that<br />

bothwomen have had careers in bookeeping and have decorated<br />

their homes in early American.<br />

Dave fdueller completed his search several years ago but just<br />

recently made it to St. Louis to meet his two aunts and<br />

many cousins. ~ave' found his mother deceased but has been<br />

warmly received into his birth family:<br />

Terry Ldppens was one of six full siblings split up by adoption<br />

many years ago in the state of Michigan. She has been working<br />

with a state social worker who has done all the searching and<br />

made all the contacts...and has done an outstanding job! Terry<br />

has had contact with three brothers and one sister within one<br />

short month. When Terry spolce with her oldest brother, he told<br />

her that he remembered kissing her goodbye. She was one year old<br />

at that tirne, A retinion will take place this coming summer in<br />

Michigan...after Terry has her baby!<br />

Another Dave, who heard the I


Who are these great looking<br />

people who decided to share<br />

their smiles with you this<br />

month? Six are search<br />

assistants and the others are<br />

training to be S.A,'s. Each<br />

of them volunteers their time<br />

to give you assistance both<br />

at monthly meetings and on<br />

the phone. Get to know them,<br />

each has something special to<br />

offer!<br />

JoAnne Lee is a step-parent<br />

adoptee horn in southern<br />

California. She found her<br />

father deceased but will<br />

. . meet an aunt this summer<br />

when she<br />

.<br />

travels to<br />

blichigan JoAnne also<br />

serves' as secretary, as<br />

well as work in^ full time.<br />

with a parenting teen<br />

program in Phoenix.<br />

Karen Tinlcham was born<br />

in Chicago and found 6<br />

years ago. She serves<br />

as our Executive Dir.,<br />

writer the newsletter<br />

and trains the S.A.'s.<br />

She Ras been part of<br />

<strong>Search</strong> since the first<br />

meeting in 1976.<br />

JoAnne Lee, Karen Tinkham, Jan Deahl,<br />

Maury Trager and Barb Wodrich<br />

Jan Deahl is a Phoenix<br />

born adoptee who found<br />

her mother deceased.<br />

Jan served on our<br />

-<br />

Board last year and is Leslie Carter, Mike Berdine, Ann Llehrtens,<br />

now Librarian.<br />

Jim 1.1cDonald and L.orraine I


. . . . .<br />

.. : ...<br />

. .<br />

. '<br />

Vle are sceing many new 'faces at our monthly meetin~s. 1t is nc,k<br />

unilsrlal for a new searcher to attend a meeting and be overVthr?ll~!cd . .<br />

by the actual search process. Many of yo11 find you need to p~t.<br />

your search aside for a period of time. You must pace yorlrself',<br />

but please don't forget that we offer both moral support and sr!arch . . , .<br />

expertise. We woQId encourage yo11 to attend a meeting and sit in<br />

with the pre-reunion workshop and skip search assistance that r:lonth.<br />

We also encourage the membership to keep in torlch with your search<br />

assistant. t~lany of you rely on meetina time only to get help.<br />

.<br />

Vle vmht you to touch base with, us between meetings for indit.idrla1<br />

help, Time is so limited at our meetings, but if you call us at<br />

home, 'hopefully vIe can give you a few uninterruped minutes.<br />

. . Just remember that's why we are here..,to help you! . .<br />

. .<br />

. . . .. .<br />

The Phoenix Gazette mentioned us in their ASK US column on<br />

December 9th and we have had a response from that.<br />

The Preston Westmoreland Show - KTAR Radios- had Lorraine Kazmier<br />

and Karen Tinltham on as guests on December 27th. I.lany interesting<br />

calls .came in during that 1% hour, time slot, :including a call<br />

from Bob and Helen Ridgeway, birthparents, who had just flown back<br />

to Phoenix from Greenville, !Michigan where their son Jim lives.<br />

Ironically, our group's founder, Ginger Gibson Rogers, lives in<br />

Greenville also and went to school with Jim! Small world.<br />

\Ve thank Joan L.ee for her nice mention. of <strong>Search</strong> <strong>Triad</strong> when she<br />

appeared on NBC1s FANTASY on JBnuary 5th!<br />

PBS in Phoenix (KAET) aired a special on January 19th called<br />

Adoption: The Chosen Child. The guests were Lon Taubin, deputy<br />

district attorney, Shirley Pusey of Family Services Agency and<br />

Karen Tinkham. The show aired twice and even tho Karen was<br />

literally given only five minutes of the hour long show, people<br />

were watching. The response has been very exciting!<br />

Panels this month:<br />

January 10th - Audrey Kreft & 1~1arge viCastro (DEs)<br />

January 15th - Joanie L.ee & Dorothy Foster (DGS)<br />

January 18th - Barb Wodrich - breakfast speaker for the<br />

Northwest Phoenix Civitan Club<br />

January 20th - Naury Trager & Lynne Hellmers (1-1.D.<br />

's at<br />

County Hospital )<br />

January 22nd - J i m i-lcDonald & Icathie Veal (DES)<br />

January 26th - Audrey Kreft & Kathy Roheim (Jevtish Farnily Svcs)<br />

January 27th - Terry Lippens, Lorraine Kazmier & Dorotlly Foster<br />

(DES)<br />

December<br />

- ICrista and !,lilt Johnson (DEs)<br />

Thanks to those members who gatre their time to share tlleir<br />

adoption experiences.. Educating the public is so important!<br />

L,IBRARY NEWS<br />

Overdue books - Kathy Kosatlta (~ec), i~laury Trager (~ct),<br />

1.lary Jo Stewart h o t , .<br />

and Lucinda 1.larnpton (lblov)<br />

The Emma Vilardi/ISRIl casette tape is also still<br />

missing. Please malte sure these items are<br />

returned at our Febrrlary meeting,<br />

blew boolcs - Once Removed - Voices from Inside The Adoption Triangle<br />

by Wendie & Sherry Sleightholm (donated by the Canadian<br />

Death By Adoption by Joss Shawyer (donated by I{.<br />

inkh ham)<br />

What Kind of Love Is This?<br />

by Sandy Musser<br />

Dialogue for llnderstanding - PACER (donateti by Dirck ~rown)<br />

We hatwe several copies and we hope they circulate!<br />

IJe\v nrticlc - "Why Did My Birthmother Reject Me?I1 by Carole Anderson<br />

of CUB. if you want your own copy they are available<br />

from CUD Headquarters.


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, . . ,.<br />

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. . .,<br />

'we still have copies of . .<br />

are being sold for $9.75<br />

discount we rec'v to<br />

an extra $1 for postage and'handling.<br />

L-orraine Kazmier has written an excellbnt 30 page booklet<br />

llOpen Letter to Adoptive Parents." If you'd like a copy,<br />

or if other groups in the movement wou d like to order one<br />

or more for their libraries, send L,orr Ii ine $3 to covor printing!.<br />

cost and postage.<br />

address is 1408 East Commodore Place,<br />

Tempe, Az 85283.<br />

Thanks to those who made donations to<br />

1<br />

earch <strong>Triad</strong> in December -<br />

Grace Daras, Bill Friedman, Karen Tink am, Virginia Balcer and<br />

L.orraine Kazmier. Thanks to Helen ~~eebh for the Open Minds - Open<br />

Records pins. A VERY VERY BIG THANK Y ~ U TO BARB VIODRICH \I140 WAS<br />

KIVD GhlOUGH TO L,OAhT US HER TYPEWRITER 40 TYPE THIS NEWSLETTER!!!<br />

--<br />

.:<br />

Last meeting JoAnne L.ee shared with us the story of a parenting<br />

teen who is living in a state approved foster home with her four<br />

month old son. Some needs were mentio ed and two of our members<br />

were able to donate two dressers<br />

and a baby bed. There are other<br />

things that are needed' -..clothing<br />

for the baby and clothing for the<br />

teen who wears a size 5 or 7. If<br />

yo11 feel you have something you'd<br />

like Iio donate, please contact<br />

JoAnne at 247-2498 (evenings only)<br />

or bring your donation to the<br />

meeting. Items like baby shampoo,<br />

lotion, etc would be helpful too,<br />

~GGA!!<br />

Thanks to Diane Pattison who gave<br />

i~s a copy of the MacNeil-L.ehrer<br />

Report special On Being Adopted.<br />

It's interesting reading and will<br />

be in our library. The show<br />

aired on PBS Thanksgiving night<br />

and many of us missed it.<br />

If yo11 have been a member of the<br />

American Adoption Congress in thk<br />

past and are wondering why you<br />

aren't receiving any AAC news, it<br />

might be because your membership<br />

has expired. The membership year<br />

runs from July 1 to July 1. Check<br />

the last of the newsletter for the<br />

AAC form.<br />

Mark your calendar now for two<br />

programs coming up on TV:<br />

Si~san Rodgers on Fantasy - hrBC<br />

February 22nd 2 to 3pm<br />

Teenage Father airs on<br />

PBS on Sunday, Feb 13th<br />

from 5 :30pm to 6pm.<br />

A dramatic illi~stration 04<br />

the fact that unplanned<br />

parenthood is as<br />

disrr~ptive to young men<br />

as it is to the young<br />

unmarried mother.<br />

.<br />

L- ..",<br />

-.-.<br />

lal ,olse~o,r borh ctety much, bttr 1'1r got to/lnd my reol~orellrs."<br />

*<br />

Don't forgbt to respond<br />

to the shows you see and<br />

haar. The KAET show on<br />

adoption was done because<br />

of the response they<br />

rec'v on their original<br />

mini-series months ago.<br />

Guess WXO$"ndl~ Gr;&olY:u!


~ ~<br />

-.<br />

-<br />

'<br />

. .<br />

.. ..<br />

. . . . Ilighlights of the Executive Board 1;leetin~s for both December .'<br />

. . . . . .<br />

:<br />

.. .<br />

. . ,. . . .. .. and January include the following:<br />

..<br />

, ., .,<br />

'<br />

. . . . . .<br />

The International Soundex Reunion Registry fourth annllal report<br />

I<br />

was discussed and it was decided that we vtoilld send Emma<br />

Vilardi a $50 donation.<br />

Linda Cannon Burgess of the M C wrote requesting that we send<br />

a list of our membership to Sophie Elvert for a fund raising<br />

campaign. The Board decided that we do not have the membership's<br />

pe~nission to release their names to outside sources, so instead . ,<br />

we will agree to reprint in our newsletter, any letters from . ,<br />

this campaign effort.<br />

The board approved the following resolution:<br />

'lrfembership may be refused or revoked. as voted won .,. .<br />

by the Board of Directors to any individual for behavior<br />

or conduct that is illegal, unethical, or unreasonsible<br />

'that vfould reflect negatively upon the good name of<br />

<strong>Search</strong> <strong>Triad</strong> Inc ,,I'<br />

The rfeneral membership must now vote on this, resolution at a<br />

monthly meeting before we can add this to our constitution'<br />

Snd amendments.<br />

*+*+*<br />

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from the CUB COl~It~lUNICATOR News Clips -<br />

A Tribune Syndicate health article by Dr. Timothy Johnson recently<br />

answered a question about the likelihood of adoptees having<br />

emotional difficulties, In his response he said that 10 to 15?5<br />

of the children seen by child psychiatrists are adoptees,<br />

compared to 1 to 2?6 of all children being adoptees. lie says<br />

that many health professionals "now suggest that adopted children<br />

might benefit from knowing more about their birthparents."<br />

Recent articles worth reading -<br />

Woman December 82 article by Jayne Askin & Dob Oslcam<br />

For Adoptees, Finding Your hfatural !.lother Is Ldke Finding<br />

That hiissing Piece Of Yourself<br />

Vfoman December 82 1.10~ Much Of Your Personality Is<br />

Inherited? by 1;laya Pines<br />

hfcwsweeR December 6, 1982 Brave New Babies by Lorraine<br />

Dusky<br />

ASRA in Ohio is still asking that adoptees participate in<br />

Dr. Thomas Vern I s survey. We did print this a few montks<br />

ago, and space 'B oesntt allow for another printing, but we<br />

will, make a few copies of this available at our next meeting,<br />

or send irs a self-addressed stamped envelope - LZGAL SIZE -<br />

and we'll mail- you a copy.<br />

Just had an exciting call from member Gale Thornton.,.and<br />

although this is not the reunion page good news must be<br />

shared! Gale found her birthmother last fall while on<br />

vacation in New Hampshire. Phone contact vras made but<br />

no conclilsions were drawn. A sensitive letter and photo vlerc<br />

sent at Christmas time. Avo response. Today, February 2nd,<br />

Gale's half sister Peggy called Prom New Hampshire. She<br />

explained that her mother's husband had died just bnforc the<br />

letter arrived. Then the birthmother vfas hospitalized for<br />

kidney failure. Thoughts of death loomed over her head and<br />

she shared the news of Gale's existence with Peggy. Peggy<br />

has been composing a long letter but felt so frustrated that<br />

she called Gale instead...and they talked for an hottr. A<br />

reunion will happen this June when Gale attends her high<br />

school class reunion in New Hampshire, Gale's mother.i.S<br />

still-ill but hapefully will be up to contact soon!<br />

For those of you considering advertising during your search,<br />

vle would highly recommend you investigate the quarterly<br />

publicakion OPEN A.R.M.S. ~5iJtj'lfshed by adoptee Bob OIDell.<br />

Ve will have a copy of the Quarterly at the February meeting.<br />

Highlights of the AAC Regional A1ev!sletter will be featured<br />

in the Llarch issue of! our news.<br />

COMEIEhlT FROM KAREN<br />

The December issue of the newsletter was shorter than intended<br />

because the return key on my olivetti decided to tlfreezett<br />

before I had finished. Heedless to say I had no chance to<br />

thank all of you who help make our group so special! I know<br />

if I start naming people, I will forget someone, so just<br />

consider yourself thanked! Our group would not be here without<br />

yoir, We continue to grow, currently our membership totals<br />

171 people. Our services continire to expand and vre are thrilled<br />

at the large number of birthmothers that have become slrch an<br />

important part of us. Understanding continues to grow...donlt<br />

ever stop listening. We always welcome your suggestions<br />

and would hope that <strong>Search</strong> <strong>Triad</strong> will continue to fill your<br />

needs. Each of you has something special to offer, don't<br />

sit home on meeting., night', we miss seeing you!<br />

Truth exists; only Calsehood has.t;o.be invented.<br />

- Georges Braque.


' .<br />

TO MY MOTHER<br />

Long ago,<br />

Lost in the mists<br />

Of time<br />

We were one.<br />

Together,<br />

Me within you,<br />

Nine months<br />

I was carried.. .<br />

But<br />

To be separated<br />

At birth-<br />

Forever.<br />

The years<br />

Passed.<br />

My thoughts<br />

Of ,you<br />

Nter diminished<br />

Just grew<br />

Stronger.<br />

Strangers loved<br />

Me, and<br />

Cared for me.<br />

Lavished me<br />

With everything<br />

A child<br />

Could want...<br />

And, then some.<br />

But, lo<br />

My thoughts.. .<br />

As I grew in<br />

Stature and<br />

Consciousness.. .<br />

Were of you.<br />

What were you<br />

Like?<br />

Where were<br />

You now?<br />

Did you ever<br />

Think of me...<br />

Your lost<br />

Firstborn?<br />

bly fantasies<br />

Flourished in<br />

Reckless abandon.<br />

Was that her over<br />

My mother?<br />

Does she<br />

Look 1 ike me?<br />

And I like her?<br />

Does she have<br />

Other children<br />

To comfort,<br />

Caress<br />

And love?<br />

My brothers and<br />

Sisters?<br />

Does she think<br />

Of me.. .then?<br />

Oh,<br />

Where is she...<br />

My mother?<br />

Until that<br />

Day.. .<br />

My world<br />

Was as happy<br />

And better<br />

Than most, but<br />

I heard her<br />

Voice.. .<br />

When I called.<br />

She, in<br />

Control 1 ed tones,<br />

Emoti on1 ess-f rozen<br />

To the phone.<br />

My own voice,<br />

Calm,<br />

Control led,<br />

Shakey,. . .so phoney<br />

And business-1 i ke.<br />

My manner, hardly<br />

A comfort<br />

After all of<br />

This time.<br />

What happened?<br />

Did I<br />

Scare her, or<br />

Frighten her,<br />

Shock her,<br />

Or bring<br />

Back the pain<br />

And numbness,<br />

Fear and anguish ...<br />

When she<br />

Gave me up to<br />

Others?<br />

Oh, my mother<br />

Let me see<br />

You,<br />

Hold you.. .<br />

Tell you<br />

It's all right1<br />

Now and<br />

Forever.<br />

Please call me<br />

Even if it's<br />

Just to talk<br />

Never to<br />

See<br />

Or, touch<br />

Tell me you<br />

Remember<br />

Me-pl ease l<br />

Mike Berdine<br />

Y uma , Ari zona<br />

November 19, 1981<br />

there-<br />

. -<br />

- -<br />

Written 4 hrs<br />

after Mike's<br />

first call to<br />

his birthmother.<br />

He has since<br />

met his nothe<br />

and been<br />

reunited<br />

with<br />

siblings.<br />

. ,<br />

medical inlorm*lia "Whm<br />

the youngster wnnls to know<br />

*Where did 1 came Irom?'m<br />

Why nntldn't my original<br />

parents keep me?.' the new<br />

~e~~crmttnn nl adoptive par.<br />

ents will hmvt adcqualr an.<br />

swen to these questinn*.'<br />

In*, Jim Griller.<br />

Thr cornm~lmrnla mmn.<br />

sntn an open adnptson is<br />

n%ore or lrls rn ~enllenun's<br />

mcrrcmcnt. "I hmvr lound<br />

that mdontive o.,entt who ,<br />

attend our workshops .re :'<br />

willing lo write teponn at , .<br />

Chri~tmas or Eanter. but<br />

they do not want more Ire.<br />

quent mnlnct." uys Marielperiodic.lly.<br />

but in some ta Spnccr nf thr Children's<br />

u u s there are hcluml meet. Hnme S ~~irty of M ~nnr~a.<br />

I<br />

Ings. Although a few contin. "I hmve grcn mdoptire parue<br />

to see one another, mmt eats drop oul when pressure<br />

meet only once.<br />

is put on them to write mare<br />

Opcn adoption is conrta. rrgulsrly."<br />

verniml. ....... Oooonrnls ~. . nrcue - It is mssiblr lor either or 1<br />

that it threatens the privacy the pnnir~ to end the ur-<br />

Evrry Christn~as Liu mnd bath of the mother who hms rancement. "Artef 11. .<br />

Itelm ercl~nnp gcctings, telinquishcd her baby nndol ,<br />

)Ieletim note ia lull 01 lmmily. the adoptive p.renls, who month^. I b d in ask Uut<br />

'<br />

new. and she always en mny lemr that she will want lherr bc no more contna<br />

closes pho~ogrmphs of her to tmke .way the child. with the pople u hu are now<br />

sun, Jrd. Others. however. are the parentsormydaughler."<br />

Lisnaudirsll~e~nm~nt~ots, mlrong supporters. "The i uys one l0.ye.r-old. 'The<br />

'<br />

tryine to see in Ule link boy mare exprirnce ye havt Imrn were tm pdnlul.' +<br />

urmc rrsemblance to her vlth open placement. the She has promised to continown<br />

two girls. Jcd is the wn more enlhusi~slic our BUR uc passine on medical inlor<br />

she had out ol wedlock: It..' uys Jim Orincr, child. nulion abwt her~ll.<br />

whrnhewastvomonth~old. welfare su~wiwr at Come But lor olhrr p~rents em<br />

he become Helen's wn munlty. Family mnd Chil. changing lrttenran icmd to<br />

thro~~ch .dopllon. For the drcn hrvicu 01 Travene delire. tn meet in prson.<br />

past srwen ycnn. Lisa mnd City. Michicmn. The mtency Cmtholic WI~I Srrvkcs of<br />

Helm (wltose names have fim offered g n adoptions the Diocese of Orwn Day.<br />

bun channcdl hmve bun three yean ago: 60 prcent Witconsin. has km arranp<br />

practicing open adoption. 01 adoption panicipanls now tng i.cc.tnlace mrctingt<br />

Under an open ndoption chme this option. (with social worker<br />

(which should not k con- "It was pretty clear to US present1 stnce 1975. The<br />

lused 4th the opening 01 1h.t the traditional syltrm .cency has made more 1h.n<br />

records lon~<br />

dler an md~p- hurl the bifth parent*." uys 320 qun pl.crments nincr<br />

tion Ukes plncel. the biologi. Mr. Oritter. "They felt ms U 1973.<br />

cal and adoptive pnrenls hey wcrC abandoning their Hclcn and her tusbnnd<br />

1 '<br />

1 continue to communicate child. Open placement has adopled Jrd lhrouph Cnlh*<br />

wslh onc nnothrr while lhc provided an OppoltIIniW rot lic Soc1.I Se~iCrl and chme<br />

childI.~rowin~up.Asinany them to excrci*e their re. lo met Jcd's mother. 'Liu<br />

adoption. the birth mother spon~ibility and be mssurrd cmmr to our home." uys<br />

givesupaIIle~ol richtstothe (hat good people are urine ticlrn. "We wanted her to<br />

child. Omerally. the inlor. lor the child." src Jed in his mctu.l sur.<br />

malbn I. hnndlcd through What .bout it1 cflecl on roundings. Ltrr, we had a<br />

Ihr mdaption atcncy u, th.1 adoj~tiv@ parents? "All pr. lrttcr lrorn her. 'You don't<br />

nnmrl and oddrc~sn on re. ents we have dcoll with My know what you have done<br />

mntn ronlidrnlial. Many that meelinp the hirth par. lor me.'sltcwrotc.'lcannov<br />

Il.nlcltl.ntn choose in er. mtshas allayed thelrlcarsol put the pnst behind me and .<br />

rh.n1* lrtlrn mnd pioures intru~ion." uys Knlhlccn go on!" -cutnr nr~nm<br />

Patrlcla Hope's little glrl, yet unborn, Is<br />

the vlctlm of all thls unnecessary turmoll.<br />

Thlrty-el~ht years ago thls month<br />

I became the vlctlm of the moralists of<br />

that era. My mother, also a hlgh school<br />

teacher In a Long Island town, was<br />

Jan 17,83 PEOPLE<br />

carried a story on<br />

Pat Hope, 41 yr old<br />

pregnant teacher in<br />

NY. PE0PL.E also forced to place me for adoptlon beran<br />

a survey as part<br />

of that article -<br />

asking :for opinions.<br />

The results were<br />

published in the<br />

Feb 7 issue, See<br />

below/with letters.<br />

READERS SPEAK OUT<br />

' PEOPLE asked those who rend tho<br />

Patricia Ilopc etorp to tell us hou~<br />

they would feel if a teacher in thcir<br />

school~y~tem ruere involved in the<br />

name rituation. The response:<br />

A hlgh school teacher who becomes<br />

pregnant wlof wedlock should be:<br />

Dismissed . .. 21 %<br />

Reasslgnod ................................................ 7<br />

No action should be taken .............-.72<br />

A grade school toacher who becomes<br />

pregnant out of wedlock should be:<br />

.<br />

Dismissed .<br />

Reassigned .......................................... 9<br />

No action shwld be taken ..,........... 69<br />

I<br />

A teacher who fathers a child out of wed-<br />

..................... .<br />

...............................................<br />

..............<br />

lock should bo:<br />

Dismissed . 21%<br />

Reassignod 6<br />

No aclion should be lakon . 73<br />

cause keeping me would have meant<br />

rulnation for us both. Now we both<br />

must llve wlth the dally pain of never<br />

flndlng each other.<br />

Wendy Morrow<br />

Scottsdale, Arlz<br />

Some of us parents are still teaching<br />

soclal values at home. It's a llttle more<br />

dllflcult than It once was, but for our<br />

chlldren's sake we belleve the effort Is<br />

justifled. The maln problem is finding<br />

posltlve relnlorcement In mainstream<br />

Amerlca. God knows, we're not exactly<br />

belng overrun by role models. How do<br />

you tell your daughler that havlng babies<br />

out of wedlock Is, among other<br />

things, Immoral and then pack her off<br />

for a day wlth Patrlcla Hope?<br />

Randy Collins<br />

Chesterfield, Va.<br />

What Is the problem? The mother-tobe<br />

Is educated, the baby Is wanted,<br />

and lorn nlce change neither one wlll<br />

be on welfare. The baby glrl wlll be<br />

raised and educated In lovely East<br />

Hampton. She wlll grow Into a graceful<br />

young woman and marry Prlnce WII-<br />

1 llam of England. Everyone In East<br />

Hampton wlll want an lnvltatlon. I hope<br />

they know how to curtsy. .<br />

Dorothy M. Johnson<br />

Ormond Beach, Fla.<br />

i<br />

-<br />

C


w r<br />

..<br />

u.n~<br />

NQW~<br />

n I Q8a<br />

-... - .-<br />

Rreast Cnnccr Risk '<br />

Recent studics, Dr. Kclly pointed out,<br />

.C~i,edPtrMInlcmn,ionll<br />

make it possihlc to give womcn more<br />

prceent to Be child thnt he or nhe was wanted, nnd<br />

accuntc and nssua6c<br />

..NEW YORK - Pn chotherapiat Joanne Small that'a good. The idea of being s ilically chosen<br />

Ihcir pye parent8 err in te ?' ling adoptive children they place^ an unjunt burden on the chi d."<br />

fears. One study performed by Dr. D. E. wbrh 8mifically<br />

P"<br />

Gay Man Wins Right<br />

To Adopt Foster Son<br />

4.<br />

Experts . offer advice to adoptive parents<br />

Anderson of flouston. Tcxas, found that .' -- ,. Peychoanalyet Herbert Weidcr carries the theme<br />

-+'lt.doean't take too long fur youngstem to figure one step further.<br />

a risk dcpcnded On lhe<br />

age of hcr relatives at dingnosis (prc- or<br />

;& that in order to have been chosen they first had "Jf an one wan chosen, it i~ the parent, who was<br />

to be given up," Small says in an article in the uelecled i<br />

post-mennpnusnl) and wliclhcr the dl$-. ~ ~ 5 ~ " ~ ~ ~<br />

y the agency," he told the mngnzine.<br />

iRa,,e parents mogarine.<br />

cnsc occumd in one orbnth breasts. A<br />

Weider, a founder of the Adoption Study Center<br />

woman might havc as much as a 50 pcr- "What should be communicated is that the at Brookdale Hospitnl Medical Center in New York,<br />

ccnt chancc of dcvcloping brrnst canccr<br />

pateals chow to have a child and that they choee to added that a child younger than 3 or 4 cannot<br />

@$t?<br />

if mother nntl mnrcrnnl aunt both<br />

the psychotherapist adds. "In thie way they mierstand the mnceptofadoption.<br />

prrmcnopnusal, hilntcnl breast cancer.<br />

On the othcr hnnd, a woman whose<br />

n~othcrand mntcrnal aunt had pnst-<br />

mcnopnus:~l, unilatcnl brcnst canccr had<br />

no grcatcr n chance 01 dcvcloping the<br />

discasc thnn did the avcngc womanabut<br />

ninc pcrccnt.<br />

Q)<br />

$<br />

F Q<br />

0<br />

Pariah Mothers<br />

A mother who relinquishes<br />

custody of her children in<br />

usually suspected of having<br />

a moral defect. in<br />

Absentee Mothem (Universe<br />

Books), Patricia<br />

Pmkowicz counters the<br />

perception of noncu.stodia1<br />

mothers as eelf.centered,<br />

ptomiscuoue,<br />

or co,d-heafi-<br />

!fllver;ide<br />

the home wfth his mother.<br />

A Judge granted a Syear-<br />

It wasn't until after the Rlverold<br />

homoeexual permls~lon<br />

aide Department of Publk Soclnl<br />

-yesterday to teen- Service placed the youth with Fnage<br />

foster son.<br />

ter lhat It learned through an anony)h;<br />

-, I'm hmppy," ~avld ymoua Up that Mter WM gay.<br />

Prater seM during r telephone lo- The social uervtces department<br />

tervkw followtng the b m g mat d~ not recommend the adoption.<br />

gave him rdo~tlon rlgh'" to K m mu mmber P. Glgrla N\M,<br />

Rawre 17. IThb the grertert mt&" lawyer, &d the depart.<br />

Chrbtmas present ever."<br />

ment was "afnM of setting the<br />

Tbe dechloo was handed down precedent of allowing an .openly<br />

during a closed hearing by Superlor homosexual Person to adopt a<br />

6urt Judge George Grover, clerk ' cwd."<br />

e u r a Corona sald.<br />

. .. At.age 3, Kwtn saM, he wae<br />

: Kevin FraLer, a high school se- taken away from hb mother, who<br />

qlor who wants to become sports had drlnking and other pmblemr.;<br />

''ehter, sald he wna "cry happy that ~ n spent d Ule next dam Yam in<br />

the Judge dedded In our favor. It's 15 different fwer homes until the<br />

great."<br />

mnty placed hlm with Frater.<br />

'<br />

The home "Is the place I've None of the. prevlous homa<br />

ma loddng for:' the youtb srM. had worked out "because they were<br />

I<br />

He hu been with Prater, lor two en't the rlght parents [of me," Kev-<br />

: years - and adopted hb foster fat& . In sald.<br />

; er's M 6 Frrter also share 3;. .<br />

/A483<br />

Woman held in boy's stabbing<br />

0<br />

ed by telling the stories of mains constant: withdrawal Gutids to the cheat.<br />

100 women who live apart of friends and relatives, ha- . Thiea said ~cCleka<br />

rassment on the job, and I child'sicreams between 6:30 a.m. and interviewed by Po f lcn.<br />

even denial of employment.<br />

Mother should fight<br />

urge to break promise<br />

from their children. In<br />

n aome cases the mothers d e<br />

4.<br />

1<br />

A phoenix WOman wafJ.jailed today 7 a.m. today and rushed into the boy'?:<br />

for in~estigation of atbmpted murder bedroom "where he saw the mother<br />

after allegedly etabbing her 8- ear-old holding the knife and the<br />

cided to reli~iquish custody ado ted son as he lay in be l , police<br />

on their own, urually for eai cf.<br />

"(McClees) ot the knife away front<br />

emotional or finnncial rea-<br />

SgL Brad Thies d<br />

the'mother an ! picked up hia eon and<br />

sons, but in just a8 many McClees, 54, of 2052 E. Charle~hn,<br />

drove him down b Lincoln Hoepi~l,"<br />

other cases, the book wee into at her hi* said. The child wa8 to<br />

shows that the decision about 7 a.m. after her husband, Jasper<br />

be lraneferred to Good Samaritan<br />

was made for them-by ' McClees, ruahed the in ured child to<br />

later today,<br />

former husbands, the<br />

d<br />

.,, *, .<br />

: the bpepital and notifie authorities. The boy had lived with the hlccou&,<br />

or the children i said thi,child, Jimmy Wror- Cl~ses since birth, and was legally<br />

themselves. Regardless of<br />

the reasons, the social stig- ! c&aitidr\ atil6hd.C. Lincold Ho~~il~l B No motive for the stabbing had<br />

ma faced by the women re- ' atla:H&ltli'Centq. The child suffered been determined.<br />

) ah&, wan . hl',.bxtremely serious ado ted b' the couple in 1978, Thi~s<br />

Mre. McClees wan booked intu<br />

woke up to the Maricopa Count Jail after being<br />

bEAR ABBY: Whon I was 16, I go1 pregnant by my<br />

qteady boyfriend. I wnnted to kee the baby, but my<br />

parents wouldn't let me. Jnstea ! they sent me to<br />

enother atate to stay with my aunt and uncle, who<br />

hook wonderful care of me. After I had my baby (I'll<br />

.call her..Tammy), my aunt and uncle adopted her on<br />

..the cotidition that I would never tell her I wae her real<br />

mbther.<br />

.' Tahy'e real father, who hnd ju~turned 17 at the<br />

iinic, cbuldn't accept the rcsponsihility. Aa a favor to<br />

hi&; 1, listed Tammy'a father an bcing unknown. I<br />

don't even know where hc is now.<br />

Tamrny in now a beautiful, hnppy, well-adjusted 15-<br />

$e+oId. She knows she's adopted, but that ia all. I am<br />

dow happily married and have two fine eons who<br />

.arep't aware that their cou~in Tammy is really their<br />

.haKaister. When I see Tnmmy, my nrma ache to hold<br />

hef clm and tell her who 1 really am.<br />

'<br />

HOW can I fight the urge to tell her?<br />

Aching Heart<br />

DEA~ ACHING: ~cmbmher your promi~e to your<br />

eudtiiad uncle and honor it. One dny, when Tammy is<br />

of Iegabage and sufficiently mature to handle it and if<br />

ehC.st% tR to know who her bi~logical parenta are, I<br />

!hitlk.s g o has the right to know. But you shouldn't be<br />

.$he oneto tell her.<br />

. For now, thnnk Cod she is a happy, wcll-adjusted<br />

child aiid leave wdll enough alone.<br />

OUT IT WA9 MY<br />

I


...<br />

, . . .<br />

. , . . .<br />

. . , . ',/,<br />

. .<br />

. . . . SEARCH ASSISTANTS<br />

Jan Deahl 841-7693<br />

JoAnne Lee 247-2498<br />

(evenings & Sat).<br />

Karen Tinkham 935-9702<br />

(!\toon to 3pm ONLY)<br />

Ann biehrtens 953-3256<br />

rblaury Trager 967-7641<br />

Barb blodrich 938-2597<br />

Please be CONSIDERATE when calling<br />

your search assistant:- We want yo,u<br />

to-call but ask that you observe<br />

our horlrs,<br />

Dorothy Foster 969-6042<br />

Birthparent/Adoptee<br />

Vi Pierce 972-3483<br />

Birthparent<br />

Lorraine Kazmier 838-4270<br />

Adoptive Parents<br />

Lynne Hellmers 997-2557<br />

Teen Rap Group<br />

Fairy Mae McKiernan 944-4729<br />

Adoptive Parent Class<br />

Diane Eckstein 277-7138<br />

Individual & Family<br />

Counseling<br />

If yournewsletter is checked here,<br />

it is time for your to renew<br />

. .<br />

We thank you for your support & interest<br />

in <strong>Search</strong> <strong>Triad</strong> this last year. Our<br />

membership fee ,is $15 per year<br />

($7.50 for out-of-town people who want<br />

the newsletter only). If you plan to<br />

renew, please send your check to<br />

Jim blcDonald, Treasurer 4327 West '<br />

Carol Ave., Glendale, Az 85302, Send<br />

it soon so you'dontt miss the next<br />

issue of the newsletter. We do have a<br />

ciltoff date on printing labels!<br />

I won't You Join Us? (<br />

What is thw MC?<br />

A coalltlon of lndlvlduals and groups<br />

across North America who care about maklng<br />

adoption more open.<br />

An acknowledgement of the many people<br />

who, on lhelr own or in groups, are working<br />

toward this goal in a varlely of ways.<br />

A means of educating ourselves about this<br />

and a channel through which we can educate<br />

the rest of the adoptlon community and the<br />

general public.<br />

An opportunity for groups, large and<br />

small, to learn from each other, and for<br />

lndivlduals, whether In a group or not, to<br />

connect up wlth the larger network.<br />

How can you Joln AAC?<br />

Groups can becomo Affillate Organltatlons<br />

($25) or Sustalnlng Affiliate Orgonitations<br />

($100). Thls does not make their own members<br />

lndivldual Members of the AAC.<br />

lndlviduals can become lndlvldual Members<br />

($lo), Sustaining Individual Members<br />

($20), or Life lndlvldual Members ($150).<br />

Checks should be made out to "American<br />

Adoption congress" and mailed with the form<br />

below lo:<br />

AAC<br />

c/o Held1 Taylor, Treasurer<br />

573 Hollyburne Lane<br />

Thousand Oaks, CA 91360<br />

Members will receive AAC Publlcatlons and<br />

wlll be informed 01 AAC activity within thelr<br />

reglons.<br />

..................................<br />

I I<br />

"Open Mindslopen Records"<br />

I '<br />

N#msolP.non w Orwp<br />

Mnlllng AQdfera:<br />

Typ of Mmb.rahlp: Indlv. (St01 - Sualmlnlng tndlv.<br />

- Suslng. Org. OtM)) -<br />

020) - Lila Indlv. 0150) - AHIIImIe Org. ($25)<br />

Optlmal: II an lndlvldual, check all cmtsporloa thrl mpply.<br />

Blrlhpml. -<br />

Adoptw - Adoptlvs Pfnl. '<br />

Adopllon Prolearlonml Olhsr (apeclfy) --<br />

Starch 7rr d& Tnc.<br />

.--.<br />

See you on the loth!<br />

Forwarding and<br />

Return Postage<br />

Guaranteed<br />

NON-PROFIT ORG.<br />

SJ. S. Postnge<br />

Litcl~lleld Park, <strong>AZ</strong> AS340<br />

Permit No. 8


..................... . . . ,<br />

. . . . . . . . . . . . . , . .. . . . . :.. I.;I.'...;... ... . . :. . . .,-:...,.~.:,: ...,,... ,..,..,, ..; ,,: ,;:;: >;:,,;, *:: , . .<br />

., . . . . . . . . . . . ....<br />

. / '<br />

. .<br />

:'...., , . .<br />

. ..


topureue a donation of a typewriter from the Arizona Bank. Ann Mehrtens will<br />

be using one,machine for publicity typing and Karen Tinkham will be using the<br />

other for the newsletter and correspondence. Thanks much to both Barb and Joyce<br />

and to the Arizona Bank!<br />

<strong>Search</strong> Assistants Jan Deahl, Ann Mehrtens and Karen Tinkham will be doing a<br />

special workshop in April for those members aearching in the state of Arizona,<br />

specifically the Phoenix area. Although most of our members are searching<br />

outside Arizona, suddenly we find we have many looking in Phoenix, so felt it<br />

would be beneficial to do a "special" workshop to explain sources in the Valley,<br />

where they are and how to use them.<br />

OVERDUE BOOKS - Nancy Miller, JoAnne Lee, Susan Caudell, Linda Theron, Marilyn<br />

Boddy and Mary Jo Stewart. IF YOU DON'T PLAN TO ATTEND THE<br />

APRIL MEETING PLEASE MAKE SURE JAN DEAHL HAS THESE BOOKS BEFORE<br />

OUR APRIL MEETING. PLEASE DON*^ ABUSE OUR LIBRARY!<br />

<strong>Search</strong> Assistants please make a change in your government publication regarding<br />

birth and death certificates...Colorado has now raised their.fee to $4.<br />

Thanks to Lola White for her donation!<br />

hanks to our members who did the following panels:<br />

February 9 - Gary Carter (Jewish Family Service)<br />

February 15- Bill Friedman and Audrey Kreft (Dept of Economic Security)<br />

February 16- Lorraine Kazmier (Jewish Family Service)<br />

February 16-'Gary Carter (Beth ~ockhart's Adoptive Parent Class)<br />

March LO Maurice Trager and Dorothy Foster (M.D.'s at County Hospital)<br />

March 15 - Maurice Trager, Dorothy Foster and Marian Lamb<br />

(Beth Lockhart's Adoptive Parent Class)<br />

March 30 Gary ~aiter (Beth Lockhart's Adoptive Parent Class)<br />

March 31 - Jim Lincoln and Lynn Hellmers (D.E.S.)<br />

REUN10NS/UPDATES - It has been only two weeks since our last meeting but two<br />

more members have found!<br />

Ann Wittke lives in Pinedale, Wyoming but was born in Phoenix. She was able<br />

to obtain information from her court file and discovered her mother was from<br />

Colorado. Some very discreet phone calls were made to family members still in<br />

Colorado and Ann learned that her birthmother still lives in the Phoenix area.<br />

Contact was made by phone, and tho Ann has been a well kept secret, her mother<br />

was so glad she called and indicated that she is willing to meet Ann when she<br />

comes to Phoenix. Her birthmother also appreciated the discreetion that was<br />

used during the search process!<br />

Cheryl Meyers joined us in January. She knew that her birthmother was not<br />

living but wanted to 1ocate:other relatives. Cheryl obtained her mother's<br />

death certificate, obit, checked the library for phone #Is for that surname<br />

and then called her uncle and aunt in Harrisburg, Pa. Shc has received a<br />

very warm reception and will meet her new found family when she flys to<br />

Pa in April for her sisters wedding. Cheryl has also learned that her<br />

maternal grandmother is still alive.<br />

One of our out of state members has asked that we share a few of his thoughts<br />

since his reunion with his mother. He found that his father had died of<br />

alcoholism and that his half-brother also has a severe drinking problem but is<br />

dealing with it by going to A.A. Our member is also now going to A.A. His<br />

mother told him that she twice tried to abort him unsuccessfully. He has now<br />

become more aware of his responsibility when involved with woman."This has not<br />

been an easy letter to write, but it is important to identify the consequences<br />

of reunion," (thank you for sharing!)<br />

A recent NBC Fantasy Show had a few of us very very upset. A well meaning<br />

adoptee from Washington had a reunion with her Canadian mother on the air.<br />

That was exciting, but I am afraid the adoptee got a bit carried away while<br />

sharing how she searched and found, revealing a search technique "on the air"<br />

that will no doubt now close many more doors in Canada, We all<br />

know how exciting it is to share your story, but don't share too much. You<br />

are not the only one aearching and others will follow in your footsteps...<br />

please tread lightly!<br />

-$,'


~ ~~ ~~~~ ~<br />

Comrnen t from Karen<br />

Each month we hear a careful<br />

warning from Lorraine on the<br />

importance of being discreet<br />

during your search. I trust<br />

you hear her but as a search<br />

assistant, I worry about some<br />

of the stories I hear concerning<br />

search technique being used by<br />

different groups and/or people<br />

who aren't working within the<br />

framework of an established<br />

organization. Over 7 years<br />

we have seen many many doors<br />

close because the person<br />

conducting the search said the<br />

wrong thing to the wrong person.<br />

UnEortunately we don't have a<br />

magic wand that we can wave<br />

to reopen that closed door.<br />

I would suggest you a11 work<br />

very closely with a search<br />

assistant. DOLL'^ be a<br />

stranger...do call between<br />

meetings. Don't feel you can<br />

only call with good news, we<br />

want you toshare the negative<br />

responses too. We are here<br />

because we care about each of<br />

you but we caution you about<br />

what you are doing because<br />

we also care about those that<br />

will follow you. We don't see<br />

open records yet, at least<br />

not in most states, so we must<br />

work together to keep what we<br />

have now open. Do your part.<br />

If you're not sure about<br />

something check first, not<br />

after the fact!<br />

We are very excited to report<br />

that Rosalie Schwab and B.J.<br />

Lifton have formed a support<br />

group that is meeting in<br />

New York City monthly. If<br />

you want details to share<br />

with a friend who would benefit<br />

from this, write to Rosalie<br />

at 3 Town House Circle<br />

Great Neck, NY 11031. Include<br />

a self. addressed stamped<br />

envelope !<br />

~on't forget the AAC ~at'l<br />

ConEerence in Columbus, Ohio<br />

May 19th through 22nd. We had<br />

hoped to have the complete<br />

schedule to reprint in this<br />

tion, "Did I come lrom your tummy?"<br />

By Roberta Plutzik Clore's suggested answer is: "You came<br />

-<br />

from a mother's tummy, but I dldn'f<br />

A<br />

doptees in the United States become your mother until afterward."<br />

now number in the millions, Research has proven, she adds, that<br />

and a recent spate of publici- "it's not always what parents say that's<br />

ty about adoption has made most Important in the early years but<br />

many Americans feel more at home rather the emotional environment and<br />

with the subject. Slill, plenty of parents tone in which they say il."<br />

who adopt - and the children who After a young child knows he's<br />

mrne to live with them - continue to adopted and is struggling to undcrexperience<br />

problems for which they stand why, it's not uncommon for him<br />

feel unprepared. ,<br />

to rebel against his adoptive parents.<br />

Some Hve rnUiion Americans are cur- "Most children, birth and adopted, at<br />

renliy registered as hacin been some point say they hate theirparerrts<br />

adopted, acceding to recen f rough and are ~oin to run away," Ciore exestimates<br />

from the Government. plains. Adds L urie Flynn, director of<br />

Thou adoption is no longer viewed the North American Council on Adopwith<br />

t 8: e curiosity it used to arouse, for table Children, "It's very upsettirr but<br />

the people who adopl and the children parents must not overread. lnstea ff . Re1<br />

, who are adopted there are sllll man at what's making the child fearful.<br />

issues that need to be addr eSSedl<br />

-<br />

"Even 1 the adoption is years in the<br />

making, the parent will be troubled<br />

with questions of bein a ypmr~t In an emti to make<br />

or being able to love t e c ild," states<br />

Ellen Clore, director of the nurse pradi-<br />

April issue of our news, but we have not yet rec'v n copy.<br />

More National news in our May issue!<br />

a, dcyDw fel<br />

tioner pro<br />

a<br />

ram at the University of u m e wme m t s<br />

Virginia, w o began studyin the com- h m e oqm&&?e<br />

f<br />

-<br />

plex needs of adopted chi dren and<br />

their parents before she adopled a<br />

rhild herself. She beliwes thal better<br />

awareness about potential pltfalls Usually the child wants reassurance.<br />

among people who are going to adopt The parents can say, 'You ore nly child,<br />

can better prepare them for the ex- I am your parent. h's work oul the<br />

perlence of parenthood.<br />

problem."'<br />

Uke ail new parents, individuals As childhood progresses, other<br />

who ado t experience leelings of stress hurdles remain lor parents and child.<br />

and ina B equacy in their new maternal In an effort lo make the adopted child<br />

and paternal roles, as well as hurdles lee1 wanted - especially in a farnily<br />

more particular to their situations. where there are also birth children -<br />

One of the mod troublesome issues some parents can become overprolcclor<br />

parents during the child's early tiveol the adopted lamii member. Doears<br />

is how and when to tell the child in# so will make him Y eel that much<br />

te Is adopted. and afterward, how to more diflerent, Clore says.<br />

cope with his possible feelings of conlu- In the teen yean, mos~ parents forlily<br />

don and anger. "I tell parents that themselves against the adopted child's<br />

belore they can answer a young child's request for concrfle information akut<br />

questions they mu^ ,pme to terms birth parents. While Clore believes the<br />

with their own feelings." Clore says. child stiould be encouraged to wait un-<br />

"Do they reel threaiened 9 being ti1 after the<br />

r-<br />

neral turmoil of adol~!s<br />

adoptive parents7 Do they feel)ealousy, cence to fm his birth parents, witlrdisapproval<br />

or su riorit toward the holding inbnnaIion ever1 before tliis<br />

birth Mer and P" aherl'<br />

stage can undermine the longterm<br />

, Cton also advises not to wait until $ adoptive relatbnshlp. "More than ever<br />

child asks where he came hom before the parents need to be honest with<br />

breaking the news. "Bring up the word their child and give inforniatiorr if tiley<br />

adoption so the child can never. re<br />

know it; if they don't know, they must<br />

mernber nol hearing h." she states. say so. The parent at this point is leel-<br />

"Before the of 5, address the issue, ing very threatened," says Clore, "ar~d<br />

because a ch "$ Id needs to hear it from needs to be reminded that the chances<br />

parents - no1 teachers or friends. Wst the child will leave are extremely slim,<br />

must be preserved." Kids who hear it that adoptive parents are the true psyfmm<br />

outsiden could be devastated, chologicel parents." Flynn advises<br />

In response to a preschooler's ques<br />

of the need lor information. ostility<br />

k cwul/ror dne mvme rei~~forcea the child's feeling Illat Ire<br />

~ik of Pmts m~erw thmj<br />

doesn't belong." RY<br />

adoptlve parents to be "very su<br />

Pr"ve<br />

FrJlllV WEEKLY CUVIUAIIY 27 ION 33<br />

S . -. -- ..--- -+.. . ---. .... , - - . . - -- - -<br />

Sorry!


&,-it<br />

tse3<br />

~rhbgyTqtvl<br />

Surrogate Mothers<br />

The practice of bearing a child for<br />

another woman dates at least to biblical<br />

times, but in recent years surrogate<br />

motherhood has leaped into<br />

public awareness as one of the socalled<br />

new ways by which infertile<br />

couples can become parents. It's<br />

easy to understand the couple's motivation<br />

in such an arrangement,<br />

but why does the surrogate volunteer?<br />

For many, says psychiatrist<br />

Philip J. Parker, the experience may<br />

be an attempt to overcome feelings<br />

of loss associated with previous<br />

pregnancies.<br />

In interviews with 125 women<br />

who had applied to become surrogate<br />

mothers, Parker found that a<br />

surprisingly large number46<br />

percent-either had had abortions<br />

(26 percent) or had borne children<br />

and relinquished them for adoption:<br />

(9 percent). Some of these women<br />

were conscious of their motivation.<br />

"instend of killing a baby," snid<br />

one, "I wankd to give the gift of a<br />

live baby to a loving couple."<br />

Other motives were present as<br />

well. Many women simply liked being<br />

pregnant. More than 100 of<br />

them hod had children and described<br />

their pregnancies in glowing terms,<br />

as times when they felt "more complete"<br />

or "more feminine and<br />

attractive!'<br />

As for the most obvious motivemoney-it<br />

was nn important<br />

but not sufficient reason. Writing<br />

in the American Journal of Psy-<br />

1 chintry (Vol. 140, No. I), Parker<br />

I reports thnt nearly all the women<br />

I<br />

(89 percent) said that they would<br />

require a fee for their service, but<br />

in no case was money the only<br />

motive for the surrogate mother.<br />

Suzanne Guinzburg<br />

#legitimacy no longer disgrace,<br />

m@&dpnss In~ernallon~l<br />

=;mPEKA, Kan. -<br />

/<br />

SKansae Supreme<br />

32<br />

justices rule ~timacy<br />

tb on Saturda no toyer mid<br />

w.<br />

Reappearance Rare<br />

~monr! the Mothers<br />

By ~amyzight<br />

When Martha S emo turned hereelf<br />

in yesterday llftar abandoning her now.<br />

born twins on a Great Neck doorstep early<br />

Monday,. she became an erceptioa<br />

The mothem of most lbundlinga never<br />

roarg two inetancea of deaarted be.<br />

biea in N w u County over the past<br />

five years, neither mother emerged.<br />

Suthdkbd w + ~ . d ~ n g . t M ~ : ,<br />

ba coneidered. iaful<br />

and u held a<br />

fr-court ting an &cislon unwed<br />

kt visitation rights<br />

'brdeflng him to pay<br />

3111Pd 'support,<br />

C<br />

child's mother,<br />

8&<br />

Oarty, had no auiy<br />

under Kaneaa<br />

law to sue to establish<br />

paternity.<br />

The Supreme Court<br />

agreed with Martin'e<br />

contention that there is<br />

no lnw in Kansan to<br />

have paternity declared<br />

for an illegitimate child<br />

by a court.<br />

The high court mid,<br />

however, that previous<br />

lower-court decisions<br />

had established that an<br />

unwed father ie entitled!<br />

to take court action.<br />

Carty and Martin met<br />

in January 1978; he wa8<br />

29 and a soldier at Fort<br />

Lenvenworth, Kan., and<br />

ehe was 17 and a student<br />

at tho Univoraity of<br />

Kansas. Each claimed<br />

they intended to get<br />

married but did not<br />

becawe of the other'e<br />

reluctsncc.<br />

Carty refueed<br />

--<br />

to sign<br />

od, and the mother wan located in two.<br />

A 1980 awey by the Denver-bnsed<br />

National Center for Child Abuse and<br />

Neglect found that, in the 6,700 cnees of<br />

abandoned children that. year nationwide,<br />

only 6 per cent of the mothers<br />

turned up - either voluntarily or<br />

through police work.<br />

A t ical abandonment was Amityville's<br />

% aby Bud, a male infant found in<br />

a beer carton outeide Brunewick Hospital<br />

Center in Jnnunry. He was placed in<br />

the foeter care of a Suffolk couple that<br />

hopee tp adopt him. The mother's identity<br />

remains a myetery. If she does not<br />

eurfece within six months bf the baby's<br />

discovery, 1410 relinquieheo her legal<br />

ri~hte to the child.<br />

Experts who have studied abandonment<br />

cnaes amund the nntisn any many<br />

of the mothem are oung, unrnanied and<br />

poor.ms~.<br />

mi Y tail40 @p, fornard<br />

the birth certificate<br />

when Adam Martin was<br />

born in April 1977 and<br />

did not pay support, but<br />

he :did acknowlbdge patcrnity.<br />

Carty married<br />

another woman in July<br />

1978 and -- was tram-<br />

ferred to Texse in November<br />

1979. He later<br />

moved bnck ta Kanm.<br />

Tho Dougla~ County<br />

Court granbd visitation<br />

and ordered Carty to<br />

pay $40 per month for<br />

ch~ld support-<br />

because they feel guilty and "want to remain<br />

anonymous," snid John Iafmte, a<br />

psychiatrist end regional director of the<br />

atate Mental Health Department.<br />

Some experta feel they are more to be<br />

pitied than condemned. "Society looks at<br />

them aa bnd pmple, but they're not, usually,"<br />

mid Dr. Vincent Fontnna, medical<br />

director of New York Foundling Iloepital<br />

in Manhattan and an internationally<br />

known expert onorphan cure. "They can't<br />

cope anymore and feel their children can<br />

be bettcr token care of by others."<br />

Such mothera love their children and<br />

do not seek to hurt them, the experb<br />

contend. Says Valerie Prouton, director<br />

of the adoption center for the hfnnhnttan-based<br />

Child Welfare League of<br />

America and a win1 worker, "Often, n<br />

mother will be eo emotionally dietrnught<br />

that ebe won't think of the coneguoncca<br />

of l~sving them.outaide."


~~~~<br />

' TRIAWPTION<br />

I<br />

Saturday.<br />

V<br />

TRUOOPTION tI8RARY CONFERENCE<br />

~ ~ r 23. i 1 Bonito Tower Disneyland Hotel Anaheim. CA<br />

I 8100 - 9100 a.m. BeC152PATIOH Lobby I<br />

Bwkroa Opm<br />

~anci Darbara Rom<br />

9:00 - 9150 a.m. OPEHlNC SESSION Carden Loun~e<br />

Bonnie hdo - <strong>Triad</strong>kdtwn Vice-Rss.<br />

Sophie Elvsrt - AAC 'hsident<br />

Rdar Pmolor ; Author "4doptbn 3SangLo"<br />

10100 - 11130 a.m. SESSION ONE<br />

SEARCH CLASS PART I<br />

WE HALE PCRSPFCTIVE ,<br />

REBIRWINC<br />

GRIEF, GRG%TU AND GAIN<br />

11:30 - 12150 LUHM BREAK - Free The<br />

1100 - 2120 p.m. SESSION N O<br />

SEARCH CLASS PART I1<br />

IICU IT EES TO BE weten<br />

San Clrrmanra Roam<br />

Sanra Roaa Room<br />

Santa C.tnlina Room<br />

Sanrr Cruz Room<br />

San Clemcnte Roua<br />

Santa Roaa Room<br />

Srnta Caralha Rom<br />

Santa Crur Room<br />

2:30 - 4:30 p.m. CLOSING SLSSIOH Carden Lounga<br />

Mary Jo Ritlern - Madoption Resident<br />

mthy SiLber - Opan ~doption is h'orkinp<br />

Dr. .WahaZZ Schechter - Pa~choZog.:oaL Parunt???<br />

Cmcellarion Policy Requires 48 Hours Norica For Refund<br />

LIBRARY CONFERENCE REGISTRATION<br />

NAne:<br />

ADDII~SSI<br />

525 par person PRTRECISTMTION :<br />

$30 par psrlon LATE REGISTRATION<br />

(.Lao available at the door)<br />

UTI: STATE:ZIP :-<br />

a *smCH CUSS PART I b 11<br />

WMC:<br />

(Lfmitud Seating)<br />

("Moprlon <strong>Search</strong>book" raquiredp<br />

Make dsaks pyabls to TRIAWPTION CONFERENCE<br />

C/O 7RIA3CP'T:O!/ WBRARY, IXC.<br />

7571 Wesfm~imter Avenus<br />

WssFminat~r, CA 92683<br />

‘-<br />

.10U",<br />

1*c10110 s<br />

-- - -- -<br />

Mn.Arco,whahd to lun 1 hylummymnl yun<br />

hat-B<br />

40, nonr pve birth to iwthat child, but lin& ~ h cin<br />

a<br />

her prlunt hwb.ld'~ children Hickenon nmver not<br />

mmlrd.<br />

1<br />

wbm it urud," rb. uid refernnr to her mn'm Life, "Wadon'twantto bunhim (&etonl, wdm'twantto<br />

They Iun rprntthrir muy in SL Peunbw muchins jwpudiu hi nh~ionrhip nth his adopuva pusnu, m<br />

narrbattbebmpitdcauu lod.nncir invdvcd in the jwt wan1 him to know who w m.' Hick.noa uid.<br />

dopumprool*d~Aqn~"llmlLikaI'nh<br />

hiUrnr b* &"<br />

MRS. ARC0 d d "I ~ m y luva own up my rkbu i<br />

~ ihummnuu dopt~on forbid the nlru. ol in. tothat child - and Pauldidn'c liw up hie rirht h w e he<br />

bnvuocl-dpu~sl.nn.Lrmu~nuldchuu didn't bow- but n11cb.r of ur hu glvm up our Ion md<br />

t o m o U c l t b . ~ ~ ~ l n n u<br />

mnmrn."<br />

3Ay. F E ~ ~ I I J ~ ~ ~ ~ ? ~ ~<br />

.<br />

m. P~RSBURG ~ M E S<br />

Paul Hi- and Kathken<br />

Nettles Argo: topther for<br />

ttwh timeuncs 1957.<br />

A couple<br />

reunites<br />

to search<br />

ifor a son<br />

..<br />

hVII*nAWLUIYI<br />

m'-r.lrw*m<br />

: It rr 1861. Paul Hkbnrm rr N.<br />

tion4 at the Penurn* Navd Air St.tioa<br />

d hchlro Joum Nettlr rr 1 Pm.<br />

umL&bvbmljuruotdmofarb.rru<br />

JlotatiuNry.Tb.yrmmr86bd.<br />

TbwddinroanrmkpLor AIW<br />

of mnu dunq thoepruxdeumrmr d<br />

1857 thm .put Wdmday o4bL<br />

h y rm mumtad in St. Patenburg.<br />

And nM LbI Pnul Hickenon and<br />

hchlan Nettla Art0 luve found ~ c h<br />

atb.t.cb.ywillmtartmaruchto~da<br />

tnuunliuylat~53~uu-I<br />

lo& ltwm hhy 30,157-MdDay-<br />

whea cb. 26yur wpm& kC.. lor Mn<br />

Am Mn. and &o. Hlckmmn. who at the rinu wu "no!<br />

quite ~8yunold"wuin J.cLomUentb<br />

berwdpamnu whm mixra ip.ndinr<br />

tb8 ~umwrvrrrtiun bemn hot junior<br />

d u ~ ~ o r & b ~ l y ~ .<br />

SINCE IT WAS 1 holidlv. Hick<br />

enonhd ban grantad "libany" lr~ me<br />

Nay md ipnt tbr &y with fakw ur.<br />

viaman at a hch on the Cull of Mexim.<br />

"Itwnlrrrllybol&ydtharulrwu<br />

6," bl mmsmkrat. 'ItmUtluw heen<br />

about 2 o'do* lpml d I M ban<br />

dancing at a nurby cuino.<br />

"1 ran d m the buch ... l ran mu, the<br />

~lur. I men it wu jut above my ha<br />

when I dove lorwud."<br />

Ha hit ht b d on the bottom.<br />

Hickenon ...~ uid ha did not rmia ma.<br />

d- ~~tilmnldlyl laurwhau &<br />

found himnlf in ch. bw'e,hmplul nth I<br />

vn.d spinal mrd. The tnjuy left him<br />

pudyrod from the ehrt down md mo.<br />

Cud to. wb.lch.ir, -- -,<br />

z~~~ .<br />

.<br />

Florid.. Update, 2-B BB<br />

Bluinoss, 114<br />

Obituarl~s. 178<br />

I n t h . . ~ ~ M n ~ 0 ~ ,<br />

butdmeud~hnsrnacoppd~ylnlto<br />

tiid out wlut luppad to Hi&m md<br />

her child Sh found her formsr rune, by<br />

~rliatd'25to~HicL~nonr"Liviq<br />

in LDUrrrillr. Ky. But it mn't be Umt uly<br />

totidberum.<br />

In Jacluonville. Mn. Avo lemcd 01 "I nude uwrd dL to P-h lo<br />

the lccidaot but w u unable u, mnuct Paul'a friend. md to rh1 bapiud. I<br />

fIICKER8ON bd ofmn nndand<br />

wn 'wlut happened to the gal I loved." Su<br />

Hickanon.<br />

told h wm u~mnciav d Lhn wn<br />

'I war not quite 188nd my rnndmorhr MU I muld da"<br />

whnhA~cllldhimL.tJulwrthi<br />

puenu' lorrh.lintunuLharbehdrmn-"I<br />

bow KmW - ulbg him<br />

wunrydomlnrnnr lad ref& to let mc<br />

go to Peauco4" Mn ~rr. d. addm~ DESPITE HER df~nr ih didn't dvnnwrfeUartolrb.bd."heuid<br />

that her pusnu dm didn't want hlr to u Hickrmn uup<br />

lbtwodadddlatotad~~heir<br />

mme home. "My mother did noc like the Hiektnon wd Lhat wWa the docton uurh in SL Pnanbuq. "balm rhir u<br />

~ dof u my getung muned. she ~hought I and mdld ~ ~ at ch1 f f Peuumlr ~ v d<br />

SO 1 d ~&to lo PewmLLm hmp~ul did r (md pb - of 'tryuy to kwp<br />

Sa SEARCH. 1611<br />

- .- .<br />

-1 -<br />

ry~)~~y<br />

-EEzb<br />

SoIns.puslnr.huidhLpmau<br />

Id dlkiab to mder him<br />

101 r -'a -Id b t<br />

bda~mrdIn)mTm~aocn.<br />

H*..r~diub.rldo.F*h26<br />

1960.ldmumd10hiboauinLaiivIk<br />

tdlytobh<br />

Feb 6. tRU st Mamd Puk Hapid<br />

grnbinhtoahbybw."1Whim<br />

lmrhpkmt MdialC.nut) h ~ n o<br />

KninLr. . . ~ b r m w ( ~ w i t h ~<br />

'K' tun in my hail). .Dd Lu .h.l my<br />

lMdmotbrb.aw.betmdbymamntbaohrrdidnt.monLhL(hiry<br />

... ldLlnrlilacb.doptpan*.r~ntil<br />

rbcLyb.(mI*htheh*piul"<br />

Mn.~uid.b*h&h*piUllou~<br />

&pUbrti~binhlacb.bbyd~t<br />

tuktoJuboonlL'toqtopukuprh<br />

niu"


. . . . . ..<br />

.<br />

. . .<br />

, . . . ..<br />

.. ..<br />

.<br />

.<br />

. .<br />

......... ' SEARCH ASSISTANTS<br />

, .<br />

Jan Deahl<br />

JoAnne Lee<br />

(evenings & Sat)<br />

Karen Tinkham<br />

(Noon to 3pm ONLY)<br />

Ann Mehrtens<br />

Maurice Trager<br />

Barb Wodrich<br />

PLEASE BE CONSIDERATE WHEN<br />

CALLING YOUR SEARCH ASSISTANT.<br />

We ask that you observe our<br />

hours.<br />

, CARING NUMBERS<br />

Dorothy Foster 969-6042<br />

Birthparent Adoptee<br />

V i Pierce 972-3483<br />

Birthparent<br />

Lorraine Kazmier 838-4270<br />

Adoptive Parents<br />

Lynne Hellmers 997-2557<br />

Teen Rap Group<br />

Fairy Mae McKiernan 944-4729<br />

Adoptive Parent Class<br />

Diane Eckstein 277-7138<br />

Individual & Family<br />

Counseling<br />

-<br />

We're . AAC a<br />

.<br />

Won't You Join Us?<br />

Whr(Ir*wAAm<br />

A codltlon of Indlvidualr md groups<br />

mcrou North Amla who cam .bout making<br />

rdoptlon more open.<br />

An 8cknowledgaent of Lho many poopla<br />

who, on tholr own or in gmupr, ua working<br />

toward thlr goal In m varlsty of wyr.<br />

A mean# of eduutlng wnelvm about thh<br />

and r channel through whkh we CM educate<br />

the rsst of the doptlon community and the<br />

general public.<br />

An opportunity for groups, large and<br />

rmall. to learn from each other, and for<br />

Indlvidualr, whbthor In a group or not, to<br />

connect up wlth the larger network.<br />

Horrcmtyw~MC?<br />

Qroupa CM become Afflllate Organiratlonr<br />

($25) or Sustalnlng Afflllate Organlzatlons<br />

($100). Thls do- not make their own membem<br />

lndlvidu8l Memben of thq AAC.<br />

lndlvidualr can become tndlvldual Memban<br />

($lo), Sustalnlng lndlvlduat Momberr<br />

(SZO), or Life lndlvlduat Membem ($150).<br />

Checks should be made out to "Amorlcan<br />

Adoption congress" md malkd wlth the form<br />

below to:<br />

MC<br />

clo HeMI Tqlor, Tn&uru<br />

ST3 HoHykwm L3n<br />

Thouund Oaka, CA W1W<br />

Mwnh will receive AAC Publications and<br />

wlll be informed of AAC actlvlty within thelr<br />

regions.<br />

If your newsletter is checked here,<br />

it is time for you to renew<br />

We thank you for your support and<br />

interest in <strong>Search</strong> <strong>Triad</strong> this last year.<br />

Our membership fee is $15 per year<br />

($7.50 for out-of-town people who want<br />

only the newsletter). Please send<br />

your check to Jim McDonald at<br />

4327 W. Carol Ave., Glendale, Az<br />

85302. Do it soon so you don t miss<br />

the May anniversary issue!<br />

"Open Mlnds/Open Records"<br />

NuwdPI.onuOroup<br />

urtlw AM-:<br />

Two a( Umba~hk Indh. (119- 8usl.lning lndh.<br />

- h mo ore ($lo4 -<br />

(W - Llk ~ndtr. OVW) - Amnmlr Ore. ()+J)<br />

opt- n M lndfrw~~. cwc II( UI-~ IIM 01,<br />

AdOptr - Map~k. Rnc. ' MIvml. -<br />

See you on the 14thll<br />

Forwarding and<br />

Return Postage<br />

Guaranteed<br />

NON-PROFIT ORG.<br />

.U. S. Postago<br />

PAID.<br />

Lltciificld Pnrk, '<strong>AZ</strong> 85340<br />

Permit No. 8<br />

t


.- - J ~ . ,<br />

SEARCH TRIAD INC.<br />

Box 1432<br />

Litchfield Park, Arizona 85340<br />

%<br />

602 935-9702<br />

Vo1. VILI NO, 1 May 1983<br />

I<br />

Karen Tinkham<br />

~xecutive Director<br />

Lorraine Kazmier<br />

President<br />

Pol icy:<br />

<strong>Search</strong> <strong>Triad</strong> Inc. is an independent, non profit organization<br />

offering a free service of idea exchange, volunteer support and<br />

educational guidelines in the adoption triangle, We are a<br />

member of the American Adoption Congress, a coalition of<br />

individuals and groups nationwide who support more openess in<br />

adoption.<br />

We offer an open meeting to adults in search, although we do<br />

not advocate birthparents searching for minors or minors<br />

searching for birthparents. Counseling is available.<br />

"To forget one's anceotors is to be a brook without<br />

a source, a tree without root. ::<br />

-Chinese Proverb<br />

NEXT MEETING<br />

May 12th at 7:30pm<br />

All Saints' Episcopal Church<br />

Manning Hall<br />

6300 North Central Avenue<br />

Phoenix<br />

Executive Board meets at<br />

6:30pm in the garden.<br />

FUTURE MEETINGS<br />

June 9th<br />

July'14th.<br />

August 11th<br />

Teen Rap CrouplAdoptive<br />

Parent Discussion Croup<br />

meets on May 19th.<br />

Join us for a 7th Anniversary<br />

Celebration! We will having<br />

a time of reunion sharing,<br />

search assistance available<br />

and time to socalize.<br />

May 6th marks our 7th anniversary. As we begin our eighth year in Phoenix,<br />

perhaps we should take a moment to review the how and why of our organization.<br />

Ginger Gibson Rogers placed an ad in the Phoenix Gazette in the spring of 1976.<br />

She had hopes of gathering together with others to share ideas regarding adoption<br />

and the search proceso. Her ad caught the eye of a Gazette reporter and a three<br />

part series on adoption followed. This series caused quite a stir and <strong>Search</strong><br />

was born. We have seen many changes over the years, many new faces and many<br />

wonderful reunions. We incorporated and became <strong>Search</strong> <strong>Triad</strong> Inc., gained<br />

non profit status from the IRS and expanded our services. We have joined the<br />

American Adoption Congress and work toward more openess and honesty in adoption.<br />

We hope you are proud of your group! Thank you Ginger for having the courage<br />

to rhara your reunion, something very special has resulted from that sharing!<br />

"It is a noble faculty of our nature which enables us to connect our thoughts,<br />

our sympathies, and our happiness with Qhat is distant in place or time; and,<br />

looking before and after, to hold collmunion at once with our ancestors and our<br />

posterity.. .We live in the past by knowledge of its history, and in the future<br />

334


y hope and anticipation. By ascending to an association with our ancestors;<br />

by contemplating their example and studying their character; by partaking<br />

their sentiments, and imbibing their spirit; by accompanying them in their toils,<br />

by sympathizing in their sufferings, and rejoicing in their successes and their<br />

triumphs; we seem to belong to their age, and to mingle our own existence with<br />

theirs. We become their contemporaries, live the lives they lived, endure what<br />

they endured, and partake in the rewarda which they enjoyed....There may be, and<br />

there often is, a regard for ancestry, which nourishes only a weak pride; as<br />

there is also a care for posterity, which only disguises an habitual avarice,<br />

or hides the workings of a low and grovelling vanity. But there is also a moral<br />

and philosophical respect for' our ancestors, which elevates the character and<br />

improves the heart. Next to the sense of religious duty and moral feeling, I<br />

hardly know what should bear with stronger obligation on a liberal and enlightened<br />

\ mind, than a consciousness of alliance with excellence which is departed; and a<br />

consciousness, too, that in its acts and conduct, and even in its sentiments and<br />

thoughts, it may be actively operating on the happiness of those who come after it, 9 9<br />

-Daniel Webster<br />

The movement has lost someone very special. Ed Gaunt died on March 27th in<br />

Chicago. He was affiliated with the Board of Certification for Genealogists,<br />

a Member of the Illinois State Genealogical So,ciety, the Chicago Genealogical<br />

Society and the Illinois Lodge of Research. He was also an ISC <strong>Search</strong> Consultant<br />

and was directly responsible for the completed searches of our members Ann<br />

Mehrtens, Sharon Versland and Lois McCutcheon. Ed is survived by his wife<br />

Ruth and a son. Words cannot express the loss we all feel.<br />

<strong>Search</strong> <strong>Triad</strong> News<br />

.. .<br />

I<br />

8 335<br />

Please make a special effort to sign in at the monthly meeting...this means<br />

everyone! We need an accurate headcount every month and we. are finding that<br />

many of you are forgetting to do so. Guests are also expected to sign our<br />

"we1come"sheetl<br />

Special congrats are sent to Susan Hammond who will become the Director of<br />

PACER in Palo Alto, California as of July 1, 1983. Susan was active in <strong>Search</strong><br />

<strong>Triad</strong> for several years and was responsible for writing our newsletter, served<br />

as Secretary and search assistant. Dirck Brown, the present director of PACER<br />

is moving to Granville, Ohio and is establishing PACER-EAST in Ohio. We are<br />

very proud of you Susan!!<br />

The Adoption Education and Counseling Center is a non-profit organization<br />

which offers information, education and counseling to people involved with<br />

or interested in adoption. The Center provides many services including<br />

workshops for families considering adoption, adoptees, and for birth parents.<br />

Community education programs and individual and family counseling are also<br />

offered. The co-directors of the Center are Diane Eckstein, MSW, and Jo<br />

Sadalla, MSW. They are offering a Workshop for Birth Parents beginning on<br />

May 18th, running for four Wednsday nights from 7:30 to 9:30pm. Fee is $40,<br />

location 1515 N. 9th St. in Phoenix. For more information call 277-7138.<br />

Overdue books - Nancy Miller (3-10) Bob Schuster (3-10) Jo Osman (3-10)<br />

Mary Jo Stewart (11-82) and Cheyrl Myers (3-10)<br />

Special thanks to Helen Leech who has donated One Against the Storm and Mommie<br />

Dearest to the library!


SEARCH ASSISTANTS<br />

Jan Deahl 841-7693 '<br />

JoAnne Lee 247-2498<br />

(evenings & Sat)<br />

Karen Tinkham<br />

-<br />

935-9702<br />

(Noon to 3PM ONLY)<br />

Ann Mehrtens<br />

Maurice Trager 967-7641<br />

Barb Wodrich 938-2597<br />

or<br />

937-5549<br />

.<br />

PLEASE BE CONSIDERATE WHEN<br />

CALLING YOUR SEARCH ASSISTANT.<br />

We ask that you observe' our hours.. .<br />

and please don't call at dinnertime!<br />

CARING NUMBERS<br />

Dorothy Foster 969-6042<br />

- Bir thparent-Adoptee<br />

<strong>Search</strong> Assistants JoAnne Lee, Karen Tinkham,<br />

V i Pierce 972-3483 Jan Deahl, Maurice Trager & Barb Wodrich<br />

Bir thparent<br />

Lorraine Kazmier 838~~4270<br />

Adoptive Parents<br />

Lynne Hellmers 997-2557<br />

Teen Rap Group %. .. .<br />

Fairy Mae McKiernan 944-4729<br />

Adoptive Parent Class<br />

Diane Ecks tein 277-7138<br />

Individual & Family<br />

Counse 1 ing<br />

We would again suggest' tha-t each<br />

of you work closely with a <strong>Search</strong><br />

Assistant. Don't be a stranger...<br />

do call between meetings. We want<br />

you to share both the negative<br />

and positive responses during<br />

your search, If you're not sure<br />

about something check first before<br />

sending it off,<br />

We do not have all the answers,<br />

but we will work together to f i d<br />

them. Go carefully! Remember to<br />

Leslie Carter, Mike Berdine (training S.A.'s) Ann<br />

RESPECT your birthmother's<br />

Mehrtens - S.A., Treasurer Jim McDonald and<br />

privacy. Her parents, husband,<br />

training S.A. & President Lorraine Kazmier.<br />

children, relatives, school<br />

friends might not know about the<br />

baby she relinquished to adoption.<br />

Birthparents remember, not all adoptees know they are adopted. Be cautious! Just<br />

remember, we are here to help!


. , . . .... . . . . ,,. .. . , . . .. ..,. . . . . . . . . . . . . ,. . .<br />

, :. . ..<br />

. .. . ., ''<br />

. ,. .. . .:. ,. . . .:. .<br />

. . ;<br />

r:.<br />

: - :. ..<br />

Panels<br />

April 12 Sue Mills and Audrey Kreft (Dept of Economic Security)<br />

April 12 J.C. Lincoln Hospital (thru Diane Eckstein) Kathy Roheim and Gary Carter<br />

April 18 -<br />

-<br />

County Hospital MsD.'s panel: Maurice Trager & Lynne Hellmers<br />

April 28 Rio Solado Adoptive Parent Class: Jim McDonald, Terry Lippens, Dorothy Foster,<br />

Joan Lee and Lorraine Kazmier<br />

Reunions<br />

Sue Mills flew to Los Angeles to tape a FANTASY<br />

Show (NBC - 1 to 2pm) which will air in Phoenix<br />

on May 25th. She had the opportunity to go into<br />

the Fountain to try for money to help her fly to<br />

Chicago to meet her birth family. She did<br />

a fantastic job and also had the bonus of meeting<br />

her mother too. She will share details at the<br />

meeting.<br />

Kathy Chrisman found her mother and brother months<br />

ago but just received pictures. A special surprise<br />

came on her birthday....a dozen roses from her .<br />

brother! We can't wait to see your pictures Kathy!<br />

Gary Carter was reunited with his father and<br />

siblings over a year ago, but just recentiy met<br />

his mother who lives in Washington. He will share<br />

the wonderful results of this family reunion on<br />

Thursday.<br />

Deb Weitz resides in Tucson and wrote us a most<br />

exciting letter with details of a reunion with<br />

her birthmother in California.<br />

Won't You Join Us?<br />

Whabth.MC?<br />

A coalition of individuals nnd groups<br />

.crou North America who care about Wing<br />

adoption more open.<br />

An ncknowllbdgmmt of the many fmpb<br />

Who, on tholr own or In groups, am working<br />

Ward thir goal in n vrrloty of w8ya.<br />

A means of educating ourselvm about thk<br />

and n channel through whkh we can educate<br />

Ute rest of the adoption community and the<br />

general public.<br />

An opportunity for groups, large and<br />

small, to learn from each other, and for<br />

individuals, whether in a group or not, to<br />

. connect up with the larger network.<br />

How cm you )oh MC7<br />

e Groups can become Affiliate Organizations<br />

($25) or Sustaining Affiliate Organizations<br />

($100). This does not make their own members<br />

Individual Msmben of the AAC.<br />

Individuals can become Individual Members<br />

($lo), Sustaining Individual Members<br />

($20), or Life Individual Members ($150).<br />

We're AAC ...<br />

"Man can't change the truth but the truth can<br />

change the man. If<br />

Checks should be made out to "American<br />

Adoption congress" and mailed with the form<br />

below to:<br />

AAC<br />

C/O Heldl Taylor, Tmnurer<br />

573 Hollyburrn L.ri.<br />

Thouund Oab, CA 91380<br />

Members will receive AAC Publications and<br />

will be informed of AAC activity wilhin their<br />

regions.<br />

"Open Mindslopen Records"<br />

Nurw of P.noo w Group<br />

1 MdlhAdd~:<br />

Typo ol Membmhlp: Indlv. ($10) - Surlaining Indiv.<br />

((20)- Lllr Indlv. ($150)- Afllllrlo 010. ($25)<br />

- swtng. Org. ($100)-<br />

Optimal: ll mn lndlvldurl, chock all utogorln that apply.<br />

Aduploo - '<br />

Adoptive Prnl. Blflhpml. -<br />

Maplion Prolassionrl Othw (rp.clIy)<br />

~LPP~A<br />

7t-1 drrC Znc.


News from around the movement<br />

from KCAAO/Miss,ouri<br />

Federal Law 384-B provides that an individual is entitled to<br />

a copy of a legal document which bears his or her signature.<br />

If any agency receives federal funds, they too are bound by<br />

the Freedom of Information Act, just like the public agencies.<br />

Birthparents may wish to cite Law 384-B in attempting to<br />

request copies of their relinquishment papers. Adoptive<br />

parents may request a copy of the Adoption Decree the same way,<br />

from Operation IdentityINew Mexico<br />

"The Editor & Publisher Int'l Yearbook," The Ayer Directory<br />

of Publications, " and "Ulrich's Int' 1 Periodicals Dictionary"<br />

are books that will help in finding what newspapers are. or<br />

were in existence in a certain area.<br />

from Operation Identity/New MexLco<br />

Military Persons that are blood relation can be located by<br />

contacting your senator or congressman. Simply say you<br />

want to locate your father, son, etc., and give birthdate.<br />

You do not need a social security number.<br />

from AIS!Colorado<br />

The Colorado Registry set up by'the Colorado Dept, of Public<br />

Health in October, will cease to exist at the end of June 1983.<br />

Out of 167 applicants, no matches have yet been made.<br />

"Adoption Is A Circle of Love"/Options in Adoptinn - An.<br />

Exploration of Ways to Humanize The Adoption Process i s<br />

available, no charge, from<br />

ARC Region 7<br />

University of Missouri<br />

124 Clark Hall<br />

Columbia, Mo 65211<br />

New book - Eternal Inspirations by E. Lynn Giddens. This is<br />

a true story. It contains recollections surrounding the<br />

lives of E. Lynn Giddens and her older brother Jackie, both<br />

adoptees. It is an inspirational, yet thought provoking<br />

testimonial. $4.50 from Arnberly Publications Box 4153<br />

Chapel Hill, N.C. 27514.<br />

from Adoption Information Exchange./~orth Carolina<br />

Adoptive Parents For Open Records is forming. If you are an<br />

adoptive parent, or interested in this area, please write to<br />

Carol Gustavson 9 Marjorie Drive, Schooley's Mountain,<br />

Hackettstown, N.J. 07840. Include a self addressed stamped<br />

envelope with your request for information.<br />

from Bob ol~ell/Open Arms Quarterly Editor<br />

"The point is, when you decide to search, don t make the<br />

mistake of approaching the situation with the typical, "what<br />

can you do for me?" Are you prepared to GIVE something to<br />

the Adoption Movement as well? Your contributions need not<br />

be great; a few hours of your time; a few of your dollars;<br />

your thoughts; a sharing of your feelings. 11<br />

Worldwide locator helps track~ir<br />

Force members<br />

A worldwide locator keeps Air<br />

Force members in touch with each<br />

other. Air Force Manpower and Personnel<br />

Center oficials announced at<br />

Randolph.<br />

Active-duty, retired, National<br />

Guard, Reserve and their family<br />

members may use the service at no<br />

charge.<br />

The Department of Defense does.<br />

however, ask the general public to pay<br />

r 52.85 fee for the service. Oficials<br />

said the fee is to offset search costs.<br />

Ollicials said in certain cases fees<br />

will not be charged to members of the<br />

public. One such case would be separated<br />

members searching for character<br />

witnesses when applying for VA<br />

benefits, or upgrading discharges<br />

when trying to re-enter the military. A<br />

full explanation of the circumstances<br />

should be given to determine whether<br />

or not a fee is required for the service.<br />

Officials ask military-related<br />

requestors to state their connection so<br />

they will not be billed.<br />

Requestors should provide all<br />

known information about the<br />

individual for whom they are searching.<br />

Send the full name. social security<br />

rccount number (SSAN). or service<br />

number and grade to: Headquarters<br />

Air Force hlanpower and Personnel<br />

CenterthlPC003, Randolph AFB,<br />

Texas 78 150.<br />

If the SSAN or service number is<br />

not known. dates and places of birth,<br />

organizations and dates of assignments<br />

can help locate the person.<br />

Once the member is located. the military<br />

address will be mailed back to the<br />

requestor.<br />

To avoid violating the Privacy Act,<br />

a system has been devised lo contact<br />

retired members. Requestors should<br />

place letters in sealed, stamped<br />

envelopes with return address and<br />

name of the individual to be conlacted.<br />

That sealed envelope and 1<br />

available information on the person to<br />

be located should be placed into<br />

another envelope and mailed to the<br />

worldwide locator. The located member<br />

receiving the letter will then have<br />

the option of answering the letter<br />

without invasion of his or her privacy.


.<br />

6<br />

.<br />

from ISC Consultant Connection/California<br />

I am so angry! I have just received, from a friend, a copy of an article called<br />

"Whose Child Is This?" 1t.h taken from March 6, 1983 San Francisco Chronicle.<br />

The article is on surrogate parenting, but touches on adoption in a lethal way --<br />

let me quote!<br />

"obtaining a child through a surrogate mother offers another advantage<br />

to infertile couples who want children; a measure of control, If he said.<br />

You know who the father is and that the surrogate mother, under the<br />

terms of the contract, will be following a healthy diet regimen and<br />

receiving competent medical treatment during her pregnancy. IN MOST<br />

REGULAR ADOPTION SITUATIONS, THE MOTHERS ARE PROSTITUTES OR DRUG<br />

ADDICTS WHO ARE HARD UP FOR CASH."<br />

We cannot let this one go by. Please take the time now to sit down and make<br />

yourself heard. This quote is from Dr. Geoffrey Nusbaum c/o Fertility<br />

Research Foundation 1424 2nd Avenue NY,NY 10021. Also write Editor,<br />

San Francisco ChroniclelThis World 870 Market St. San Francisco, Ca 94102.<br />

from RaplineIMichigan as it was quoted in Roots & Wings/Ga<br />

Birthmother Shares Her Sorrow<br />

It is with unimaginable grief that. I relate my sad new to you. I have finally<br />

found my angel unaware. I had been sitting going through some of my correspondence<br />

regarding my son when I saw Ginger's article about her angel unaware. I was moved<br />

to call the state school in my area and ask the woman who answered the phone if they<br />

had a patient by my son's name. She asked for his date of birth, and when I told her<br />

she said that yes, he had been a patient, but that he had died quite some time ago,<br />

on July 26, 1966. I called her on July 26, 1982, exactly 16 years from the date of<br />

his death. "Who is this anyway?", she asked.<br />

Words can't express how I felt. I couldn't believe my ears. Was I really hearing<br />

right? I checked further and found to my grief that she was right, My baby had died<br />

at age 5. She said that he was never able to talk and was retarded, but she went on<br />

to very matter of factly assure me that he had not suffered. He had only been there<br />

about a month before he died of pneumonia.<br />

Today, (July 29) is the anniversary of the day he was buried. I found his tiny<br />

grave, covered over by 16 years of weeds and brush. The caretaker said, "Well,<br />

that was a long time ago and they didn't have markers for the children, nothing<br />

to mark that he had even existed. Someone had once used a tin can to place flowers<br />

in, I think, but it was very decayed. Ironic that I had called the school on impulse,<br />

and my call was on the 16th anniversary of his death.<br />

I had so hoped and prayed that he was happy, living in a family who loved him as<br />

much as I did. He was never even adopted, and I had never been told. If I had<br />

known, I could have taken him home with me. I have to question why God would let<br />

a little child go through so much. It all seems so senseless. The woman also<br />

told me that he weighed only 34 pounds when he died,<br />

When I asked about the burial I was told he was put in a Styrofoam box, the kind<br />

they use for all the state patients there. My heart turned inside out. I couldn't<br />

believe I was hearing this. I am going to see if I can scrape enough money together,<br />

because somehow I must at least get him a tombstone. In my grief, though, I am<br />

in a sense at peace for the first time in 22 years because at least now I know no<br />

one can ever hurt him or torment him again. He is now truly my angel unaware.<br />

Karen<br />

Article - Time May 2, 1983<br />

searching for a Forever Home (TV program's helpi% get adopted)<br />

page 77<br />

334<br />

-


Rosalie Schwab has sent us a copy of the bill being proposed in New York State<br />

regarding sibling reunions for adoptees over the age of 21 or for adoptive<br />

parents of a minor needing a birth donor for medical reasons. This is #A-4528<br />

and is sponsored by Assemblyman Gene Levy of Suffern, N.Y. The bill seems to<br />

have a good chance of passing but needs grass roots support. Please send a<br />

letter or telegram in support to:<br />

Legislative Office Bldg.<br />

Albany, NY 12248<br />

If any of you want a copy of the bill, send a SASE to our P.O.<br />

will be glad to mail you a copy!<br />

Box and we<br />

Jcfo'c<br />

I<br />

from Tucson Open Door Society<br />

You have to steer your own course.<br />

You have to do your own thinking.<br />

You must make your own decisions.<br />

You have to sc,lve your own problems.<br />

Your character is your own handiwork.<br />

You have to write your own record.<br />

You have to build your own monument -<br />

or dig your own pit.<br />

B.C. Forbes<br />

Available soon...the ISC Calendarbf Adoption Fantasy/Reality! Pat Sanders<br />

decided that we needed more humor in the movement, so has put together a<br />

1984 calendar...twelve months of photos with captions - the social worker -<br />

the adopted child - the reunion. Price will be $5, not sure of the postage<br />

yet, hopefully we will have one by June.<br />

I<br />

We are receiving excellent newsletters from the American Adoption Congress,<br />

both the National Newsletter and our Renion 9 ~ewslet'ter. One copy will<br />

be in the library for your review. The-~ational Conference will be held in 1<br />

in<br />

I<br />

Columbus, Ohio a few weeks and Lynne Hellmers and Lorraine Kazmier will<br />

be in attendance!<br />

Goals of the American Adoption Congress are:<br />

1. To rewrite adoption laws and remodel agency practices toward greater<br />

openess, honesty and justice in adoption.<br />

2. TO rectify the deprivations of past adoptions by aiding individuals in I<br />

searching- their genetic her itages and in resurrecting their relationships<br />

of origin.<br />

3. To grant a valid option of adoption to expectant birthparents who, in<br />

our open society, ask participation in their children s adoptions.<br />

4. To relieve adoptive parents the anxiety of unknown factors in their<br />

children s medical and social backgrounds through more open communication<br />

both before and after adoptive placement.<br />

5. To provide adopted children the security of a known birth heritage in<br />

.<br />

an environment free of mystery and fear.<br />

More about the AAC next month.<br />

I<br />

I


. . , .<br />

las t'year and hope you will. continue<br />

with us as a member. Our membership<br />

fee is $15 per. year ($7.50 for out-of-<br />

- town people who want only the news).<br />

If you plan to renew, ' please send<br />

your check to Jim McDonald'<br />

NON-PROFIT .ORG.<br />

Forwarding and<br />

Re turn Postage<br />

Guaranteed<br />

Litchfield Park, <strong>AZ</strong> 85340<br />

Permit No. 8<br />

d?ng 23/2<br />

ch-w/.> CcLy / 1<br />

P9.70~


. . ,<br />

, . , .. . . .<br />

. . . .<br />

EL<br />

. ,.<br />

. .<br />

. . , %<br />

. . ' Vol.<br />

. . , ..<br />

VIII No.2 , ' . June 1983 . . .<br />

: Karen Tinkham Lorraine Kazmier<br />

Executive Director<br />

President<br />

Policy:<br />

<strong>Search</strong> <strong>Triad</strong> Inc. is an independent, non profit organization<br />

offering a free service of idea exchange, volunteer support<br />

and educational guidelines in the adoption triangle. We are a<br />

member of the American.Adoption Congress, a coalition of<br />

individuals and groups nationwide who support more openess in<br />

adoption.<br />

We offer an open meeting to adults in search, although we do<br />

not advocate birthparents searching for minors or minors<br />

searching for birthparents. Counseling is available.<br />

"To forget one's ancestors is to be a brook without<br />

a source, a tree without root. I*<br />

-Chinese Proverb<br />

NEXT MEETING<br />

June 9 th at 7:30pm<br />

ALL Saints' Episcopal Church<br />

Manning Hall<br />

6300 North Central Avenue<br />

Phoenix<br />

Executive Board meets at<br />

6:30pm in the garden.<br />

Join us for a sharing of some<br />

very exciting reunions l We<br />

will have search assistance<br />

available as well as rap groups<br />

for pre-reunion, post reunion<br />

and the incomplete reunion group.<br />

Birthparents of minor children are<br />

encouraged to sit in on any of the<br />

above rap groups.<br />

FUTURE MEETINGS<br />

July 14th<br />

August '11th<br />

September - to be announced<br />

October 13<br />

November 10<br />

December 8<br />

Mark your calendar now so you<br />

don't forget a meeting.<br />

Remember that your newsletter<br />

might not arrive before the<br />

meeting night so don' t depend<br />

on that as your reminder!<br />

Teen Rap Group-Adoptive Parent<br />

Discussion Croup meets on<br />

Thursday, June 16th.<br />

Last month we celebrated our 7th anniversary.. At the meeting, our President<br />

Lorraine Kazmier shared her thoughts regarding this special night....Birthdays<br />

end anniversaries are times for congratulations and wishes. This our 7th<br />

anniversary is such a time. So - congratulations to our founding members who<br />

are still active and a vital part of <strong>Search</strong> <strong>Triad</strong>. Maurice Trager, Barb<br />

Wodrich, Helen Leech and Karen Tinkham - for their fortitude in sticking with<br />

<strong>Search</strong> thru the lean times, for their persis tance in finding the doors and paths<br />

that have lead to our reunions, for their leadership in making <strong>Search</strong> <strong>Triad</strong> one<br />

of the most respected groups in the country,<br />

Congratulations to Carrie and Charlie Tinkham for being supportive and "living<br />

through" thousands of phone calls, listening to the typewriter go till 4 a.m.,<br />

and generally watching Karen work her buns off.<br />

Congratulations to all past and current members of <strong>Search</strong> who - loudly or<br />

quietly - have made a statement to the world. Secrecy and sealed records should<br />

not be part of the adoption process.<br />

-<br />

The wishes - that every birthmother will find peace in her heart and know the<br />

joy of holding her child in her arms, That the adoptive parents will open their<br />

minds and hearts and listen to their children and understand their needs. For<br />

the adoptees - may they find the answers to the questions that they so fervantly<br />

seek, May they have the joy of looking into a face that is a reflection of<br />

their own. May they know the heritage and love of their mother.<br />

May the legislature be enlightened and know that human rights are being violated<br />

and it must stop. And may the coming year be even more successful, more doors<br />

opened, and each one of ua be more sensitive to one another.<br />

tlappy anniversary f


. . . .<br />

. . ,..<br />

: . ' .<br />

Thanks to those who helped make'our pbkt]<br />

so soecial last month... to Ann Mehrtens<br />

. .<br />

who bupplied us with greet punch, to I - . ?I<br />

~aril* Boddy, ,JoAnne Lee, Barb Wodrich<br />

.<br />

and Karen Tinkham who brought cups, - . -<br />

plates, forks, napkins, punchbowl and<br />

$ tablecloth.. .and to Dorothy Foster for *arch Q :the *tiw d for 1816, natural<br />

adop* not dvoab parents<br />

~turrt<br />

the- lovely floral centerpiece!'<br />

RQsn plmd m 1d in In# for minw childnn a minon<br />

Arizona Republic article which appeared<br />

on Mother's Day. We shared the page<br />

with Supreme Court Justice Sandra<br />

0' ~onner.<br />

$ diganization helps adoptees I<br />

aiT' G i h<br />

prrenb W ~I-<br />

hl r F ?enis newspaper mking other rurchinlr for nmturd paten(.. Coun.<br />

Ft dolt adoplnn to mnlael her. wling k rvailable in mlnm, mnd a<br />

I<br />

&in that gmthcrin(, &rmh fl~.ild lcen dbcumlon parp I* held mch<br />

'<br />

InL'ik fmwl (oder id-, SU@ month.<br />

rnd'widellnn (o peglo wnrdrint for With membcnhlp in the Ametian<br />

2 thd i nml~tt~l parents.<br />

Adoption Cmm, a mrliUon of<br />

Sbca lhml fin1 mceUnl in May grwp in the wunlry that wnnl (o<br />

I yorn wo, the lriwb hen make rdopUon prmduwn mamopen,<br />

ml@inad non.prnR1 mhlur, memhcr. md pnrtIrlluUm in the lnlcrnmllnnml<br />

mhip'ham gmwn (o 185 snd then have Bmmdex fbvnlnn Wglsty, %arch<br />

I b& 199 reunlona of edo~tta and offen itn rnemhrn (whnicnl 88 nil sc<br />

I:<br />

i'<br />

&a,& meetn the mond Thunday For infirmallon on Ute uroug, rrib<br />

of pry mnnlh. The membcnhlp fee to &arch <strong>Triad</strong>, P.0, nox 1432,<br />

lll.idulln, hut the nrgani7alinn don DRS.9702hlwren norm and 3 p.m.<br />

-1<br />

Mesa Tribune article on Sunday, May 29th,<br />

1st page coverage! in $16 per ycnr. Meelinp ore opcn to Ulchfitld Park. Ariz. 8S.140, or phone<br />

A surprise mention on channel 10 - CBS.<br />

People heard it and called!!<br />

Panels-Communi ty Involvement<br />

I.<br />

- -. ... -,Ah=<br />

May 10 - Nurses panel - thru Diane ~ckstein<br />

at County Hospital. Audrey Kreft and Joellen Osman.<br />

May 17 I- D.E.S. - Jim McDonald and Audrey Kreft.<br />

May 19 - D.E.S.<br />

May 31 - D.E.S.<br />

- Maurice Trager and Krista Johnson<br />

- Krista Johnson<br />

Thank you <strong>Search</strong> members for helping to educate the public.<br />

Library news<br />

New book - Eternal Inspirations A True Story on Adoption by E. Lynn Giddens.<br />

Overdue books - Suzi Gay (4-83) and Susan Caudill (4-83). 'If you checked out<br />

books last month please remember to return them this month.<br />

Board Highlights<br />

Diane Eckstein will no longer be able to lead our post reunion discussion group.<br />

Jim McDonald and Dorothy Foster have agreed to work with this group and Helen Leech<br />

will take charge of the June group session. A thank you card was sent to Diane,<br />

which in only a very small way says thanks for all the time and effort she has<br />

given to us monthly!<br />

Expansion of our publicity effort was discussed and the Board voted to allow<br />

Ann Mehrtens to use $200 to purchase advertising space.<br />

We were asked to host the American Adoption Congress Region 9 Regional Meeting<br />

this fall and the Board voted to do so. The annual Region 9 meeting was held<br />

in Columbus, Ohio during the National Conference and the members voted to have<br />

the Regional Meeting here in October. Time and place and program will be<br />

announced at a later date.<br />

Karen Tinkham was reappointed Executive Director, which must be done yearly per<br />

our By-Laws.<br />

We voted to pay Lorraine Kazmier's registration fee for the AAC Conference. We<br />

also paid for the handout to be used by Lorraine and Lynne Hellmers during their<br />

pane1 regarding our teen - adoptive parent group.<br />

Completed <strong>Search</strong>es/Reunions/Updates<br />

Jim McDonald has spoken with his father in Colorado and has also received a<br />

letter and photos. We will hear this positive story in July when Jim has<br />

completed his summer school courses at A.S.U.<br />

Helen Leech (and Frank too) met her granddaughter in Minnesota and promises<br />

to bring all nine rolls of developed film!!!


Joyce Bouche had a fabulous reunion with her mother in Seattle. She was given<br />

her great grandmother's watch and found she shared many traits with her mother<br />

We anxiously await photos, details and even a report from husband Frank!<br />

Halene Petterson has found her birthmother in the southern ~alifornia area<br />

and has been warmly received. She and her husband were to go theta'for<br />

Memorial Day Weekend. We enjoyed having Helene's adoptive mom as a guest<br />

last month!<br />

Cheryl Meyers shared her reunion details last month. The portrait Cheryl shared<br />

of her deceased mother showed such a likeness to Cheryl. ~elatives on the<br />

maternal side had asked to adopt Cheryl and her brother, but the courts refused<br />

this request. Cheryl met aunts, uncles, cousins and her grandmother when she<br />

travelled East for her sister Is wedding.<br />

Elaine Hamilton has been searching for her father's family and has located<br />

relatives in the East. They will be going East soon and hope to meet and<br />

perhaps learn more about the grandmother and mother.<br />

Deb Weitz of Tucson was reunited with her mother after many years of searching.<br />

Her 10 page letter conveys much excitement, some of which we must share,..,<br />

Penna. was difficult about giving Deb information, but her persistance won out.<br />

Her birthmother contacted the lawyers the same year Deb began her search, her<br />

mother was told she had died as a child of leukemia. Deb followed many leads<br />

but the productive one.was the obit found in the Pa library. It listed her<br />

tnother's married name and address in California. I wish all searching adoptees<br />

could be as lucky as I am. My birthmother and I became very close in the time<br />

I spent with her. We realize we are both very lucky. Especittlly me, as I have<br />

two mothers that love me very very much.<br />

Karen Tinkham found distant cousins in Denmark last summer. She has been busy<br />

trying to trace that line of the family tree back through Denmark to Germany<br />

and then to Holland. The surname is most unusual and she found one listing in<br />

the Phoenix phone book. -p careful call was made, more research was done and<br />

it was discovered thatsreat grandparents were brother and sister. Cautious<br />

contact will be made with Iowa relatives.<br />

The LDS Library in Mesa has the 1900 Soundex and Census on microfilm.<br />

can trace your family back that far this tool is a tremendious help.<br />

possible to check surnames by state because of the Soundex.<br />

If you<br />

It is<br />

You must see it to believe it!! The ISC Calendar of Adoption Fantasy/Reality<br />

1984 is now available. We will have a copy at our meeting. Monthly fun photos<br />

include the social worker, the adoptive parents, the chosen child, confidentiality,<br />

the birthmother, the adopted, child, the birthfather, sealed records, good cause<br />

(showing Judge Knott A. Chance) and more. The calendars may be purchased<br />

directly from ISC for $5 at P.O. Box 10192 Costa Mesa, Ca 92627. Or we may<br />

purchase 10 or more at a discount price of $4.<br />

We were very pleased to receive a letter from Peg Brenner, Editor of the AAC<br />

National Newsletter. She asked us to share how we had "survived" as a group.<br />

Only six groups nationally wef%sked to participate in this series which will<br />

be featured in the National Newsletter. We were honored to be included.<br />

Do you have cable? If so keep your eyes peeled €or the show "Let's Talk About<br />

It" with Dr. Patricia A. Mitchell. Ann Mehrtens and Jan Deahl will be taping<br />

the half hour show on June 9th and the program will air several weeks later,<br />

exact date ucknown. The show appears on Storer Cable, channel 24 between 3pm<br />

and 9pm locally.<br />

We now have 69 books in our library, plus tapes from several national conferences,<br />

excellent articles, newsletters from across the country. Do you ever take the<br />

time to check out what we have available to you as a paid member? This collection<br />

is a result of our purchases and donations made by our members. This is what<br />

we have., ,<br />

The August Stranger<br />

Lost and Found (2)<br />

Twice Born (4)<br />

The Baby Brokers<br />

Jody<br />

A Time To <strong>Search</strong>


Chosen Child<br />

<strong>Search</strong> Aftermath & Adjustments<br />

The Wayward Winds<br />

Innocent Blood<br />

The Adoption <strong>Search</strong>book (2)<br />

orphan Voyage<br />

Adoptive Kinshie<br />

They Came to Stay<br />

Kim - A Gift From Viet Nam<br />

- 19 Steps Up The Mountain<br />

Children of Hope<br />

A Member of the Family<br />

The Slow Awakening<br />

Tenth Month<br />

What Now (5)<br />

California Legislature<br />

--<br />

Finding My Father (2)<br />

Orphan Train<br />

Sisters & strangers<br />

Adopted Canadian <strong>Search</strong> Guide<br />

Birthmark<br />

<strong>Search</strong> for Anna Fisher (2)<br />

Mother Where Are You?<br />

I Am Still Me (3)<br />

. and -- thparents<br />

searching in California<br />

<strong>Search</strong>ing in Florida<br />

Once Removed - Voices From<br />

Death by Adoption<br />

What Kind of Love is This7<br />

Dialogue For Understanding<br />

One Against the Storm<br />

<<br />

Inside .the Adoption Triangle<br />

You have a choice of 19 different tapes from the 1980, 1981 and 1982 AAC National<br />

Conference. Other items in the library include AAC By-Laws, legislative info<br />

from Joe Harrington, genetic couneeling pamphlets, the Birthparent~~Right To Know,<br />

Adoption in America (Congress), An Open Letter to Adoptive Parents, Why Did My<br />

Birthmother Reject Me', and others. We provide this library for you, use it!<br />

National News<br />

The Southeast Regional Conference of the AAC will be held Sept 23, 24 and 25th<br />

at the Daytona Hilton, Daytona Beach, Florida. Speakers will include<br />

Diana Brown, Susan Darke, Sandra Musser and Mary Jo RiLlera. For more details<br />

write Pam Lawrence 490 W. New York Ave., Orange City, Fla 32763.<br />

The Adoption Awareness Center of Lutheran Social Service of Texas is<br />

announcing A National Adoption Conference to be held at the Hyatt Regency<br />

in Sen Antonio, Texas September 12 and 13th. More details to come.<br />

Red, white and blue bumper stickers are being soLd by Juliane N. MiLLer<br />

P.O. Box 202263 Dallas, Tx 75220. Price $1.50 plus a large self addressed<br />

stamped envelope. The sticker says - THE SEARCH IS OVER.<br />

The 1983 National Jewish Seminar in Gensalogy will be held July 31 to<br />

August 4 at the Ramada Inn in Beverly Hills, California. If you want more<br />

info write to JGS Summer Seminar P.O. Box 25245 Los Angeles, Ca 90025.<br />

Recommended reading - Why Did My Birthmother Reject Me? by Carole Anderson<br />

of CUB (Concerned United ~Lrthparents). Send $1 to CUB 595 Central Avenue<br />

Dover, N.H. 03820.<br />

Linda Cannon Burgess, author of the book The Art of Adoption and the past<br />

Vice-President of the MC, was the speaker at the Peoria, Illinois Florence<br />

Crittenton tlome which was celebrating its 81st annual meeting. The newspaper<br />

covered this and the article was titled, "Adoption expert knocks secrecy in<br />

proceedings." Excellent quotes. Thanks for sharing Gail Carmack!<br />

from AISIColorado<br />

A new group will be forming soon in Greeley, Joan Whittaker, an adul~: adoptee,<br />

hopes to formalize the group this fall. Her address is P.O. Box 372<br />

Ft. Lupton, Co 80621. 1ncl"dc a SASE.<br />

3(15


from Adoptees' Birthrights Connnittee/Lafayette. La.<br />

kight is right even if everyone is against it.<br />

Wrong is wrong even if everyone is for it.<br />

The Louisiana State Legislature is now in its regular session. No bills<br />

pertinent to adoption records, as of now, are scheduled to be introduced. And<br />

why should any be introduced? The State is still attempting to implement the<br />

State Registry the Legislature deemed imperative and vital to the growing<br />

community of adoptees and birthparents and adoptive parents who wish answers.<br />

One year after the passage of the Registry, the bureaucratic red tape is still<br />

stuck on how to implement the complex program. While the DHHR nnd the State<br />

mull over their self-made tangle, A.B.C. continues its high success rate in<br />

.reunions and counselling.<br />

ABC will sponsor the AI\C Regional Conference August 12 through 14th<br />

inLake Charles, La. For more info write to Ethelyn Leger P.O. Box 6175<br />

Lake Charles, La 70606,<br />

Lutheran Social Services in Sen Antonio is involved in open adoption.<br />

235 children were adopted through that agency in 1982. Sixty percent of<br />

those placements were open.<br />

from Orphan Vovage of Florida/JacksonviLLe<br />

Does Your Checking Account Balance?<br />

I'm a terrible mathematician! I absolutely dread balancing my checkbook each<br />

month. Fortunately I do understand mough math to know that if I intend to keep<br />

a checking account that I can't write checks for more money than I deposit<br />

into my bank account. Very simply put - YOU NEED TO PUT IN AT LEAST AS ElUCH<br />

AS YOU TAKE OUT!<br />

Our searches are a type of joint checking account for searchers. Our search<br />

groups and search consultants are our bank accounts and once we join most of us<br />

immediately start making withdrawals-if knowledge, time, compassion, enthusiasm,<br />

expertise and empathy.<br />

The problem arises when so many people make huge withdrawals without ever putting<br />

anything (beyond their first year's monetary dues) back into our account. Unfortunately,<br />

that's no way to keep the account operational for other searchers<br />

who are yet to come. We need your contributions of - attendance at meetings<br />

(even after your search is completed.) We need your help with projects...<br />

with the newsletter...supporting and helping others in search, with writing<br />

Letters to our legislators, to magazines, newspapers and T.V. shows. And yes,<br />

we need you to contribute money. How about continuing to pay your yearly dues<br />

even after your search is completed so that we can continue to operate.<br />

We re here to help each other! Your help is needlid! Isn't it about time to make<br />

your account balance?<br />

also from Or~han Voyage of FLorida/Jacksonville<br />

The National Committee for Adoption is an organization with clout that opposes<br />

much of what our search groups stand for. In one of their recent newsletters<br />

that urged members to object to T.V. shows like Donahue or news and magazine<br />

articles that publicize open adoptions, opening records, etc. A direct quote<br />

from them, "Only by entering the active debate on these issues, by demanding<br />

fair and factual coverage, by having people who represent our reasonable views<br />

agree to talk and appear in the medin, can we expect to offset the emotional<br />

appeal of the search groups or the dangerous ideas on adoption and maternity<br />

care being advanced by some agencies. 1'<br />

This can work both ways - take time to write to editors, newspapers, to<br />

magazines, radio and T.V, shows each time you see or hear something that concerns<br />

the adoption process and our searches. We need to make our voices heard.<br />

**>'&***<br />

People June 13, 1983 issue<br />

page 47 - "Baby Sellers or Sisters of Mercy? Surrogate Mothers Give<br />

Birth to a Legal debate.<br />

You must have a strong stomach to read this article. The quotes are<br />

unreal and just beg for a letter to the editor. READ IT!!<br />

***<br />

A very very special lady celebrates her birthday on June 23rd, Emma Vilardi.<br />

This wonderful women provides our group and groups across the U.S. and the<br />

World the International Soundex Reunion Registry. I think we should flood her<br />

P.O. Box 2312 Carson City, Nevada 89702 with special wishes! Do your part!!


June 1983 iesue includes a focus on the family.<br />

A salute to a special group of people...<br />

Grandparen ta<br />

Grandparents occupy a special place in the<br />

territory of the heart. Our parents' parents,<br />

they provide a context for our lives, an intimate<br />

touch of history. In them we see evidence of our<br />

family's past and implications of our own future.<br />

Grandparents are proof of family continuity,<br />

family progress - human progress.<br />

For grandchildren (and that means all of us)<br />

grandparents are pioneers. They have had all<br />

sorts of adventures as trailblazers in the<br />

family frontier. What we call history, they call<br />

memory, When they share memories, they fuse their<br />

lives with ours, imparting wisdom, guidance,<br />

and affection in the process.<br />

Some cultures revere grandparents more than<br />

others, 6ut everywhere - from Biloxi to<br />

Bombay - grandparents are valuable resources.<br />

They teach us about the past. They show us what<br />

will happen. They explain the way things are.<br />

And when he is holding a grandparent's hand,<br />

a child is safe against the whole world,<br />

AAC News<br />

The National Conference was held in Columbus,<br />

Ohio. We look forward to hearing highlights<br />

from both Lorraine Kazmier and Lynne Hellmers.<br />

The membership elected 3 Directors at Large<br />

for the National Board including Dirck Brown,<br />

Kathy Silber and Karen Tinkham, The new<br />

Officers and National Board include:<br />

President - Sophie Elvert - Washington<br />

Vice-Pres.-<br />

Linda Lincoln - Illinois<br />

Secretary - Charlotte Hood - Washington<br />

Treasurer - Dirck Brown - Ohio (as of Aug 1)<br />

I<br />

"Open<br />

We're AAC<br />

Won't You Join Us?<br />

Whrlir(h.MC1<br />

A oorlltlon of indtvlduatr md group<br />

rcnnr North America who cam about mrLhg<br />

daptkr, mom open.<br />

An rdrmmledgml of the nuny pwpk<br />

Mo, on their own ar In groups. M wofkhg<br />

bward Rh god In a nrMy of myr.<br />

A marnr of educating aunehm about thh<br />

and a chmml through whkh we cur educate<br />

Ihe root of the doption mmunlty and the<br />

general public.<br />

An opportunity for group, large and<br />

amall, to learn from each other, and for<br />

Indivldurlo, whether In a group or not. to<br />

.conned up with the largor nelworlr.<br />

Horr t.n yw jok MCt<br />

Qroupr em become Afliilate Organize<br />

tbno ($25) or Bustalning Afnlirte Olpanlzrlkna<br />

($100). Thlr doa not make lhair own mernban<br />

lndlvlduat Memben ol the MC.<br />

lndlvldualo em kcorno lndlvldurl Mem<br />

brro ($lo), Surtoinlng lndlvldurl Memben<br />

($20), or Llk Individual Mdmben ($150).<br />

Check8 8hould be Ndo out to "Amerken<br />

Adoptlon congrsu" mnd mribd with the form<br />

mow (a:<br />

MC<br />

C/O Holdl Tmybr, Tnluru<br />

57s H- law<br />

Thwund Oak#, CA @la0<br />

Mombam wlll receivo M C Publlcrlionr and<br />

will be informed of AAC rclivlty withln their<br />

reglono.<br />

MindslOpen Records"<br />

NmotPY.mwOroup<br />

Uallhg A.ddm:<br />

I<br />

Directors at Large:<br />

Sandra Musser - Florida<br />

Kathy Silber - Texas<br />

Linda Cannon Burgess - Washington D.C.<br />

Karen Tinkham - Arizona<br />

T w of Umb.nhin In*.<br />

($14 Sv.l.ining Indk.<br />

n24 - 1110 Indh. 0154 - Ammrtr Org. (W)<br />

- WIW. ~rg. latm -<br />

Op(lorul: If n MklduaI, chch M ut.gorm t(h* qpy.<br />

MoClU - Mop(CI. Rnc. 'Eunhpt. -<br />

Regional Directors from 9 U.S. Regions<br />

Regional Director from LO - Canada<br />

Region 9 had elections also and reelected Pat Sanders as our Regional Director!!<br />

Martin Brandfon is alternate director. GayLe Beckstead was elected Newsletter<br />

Editor and Carol Longoria was reelected as secretary -treasurer. Our Region<br />

has the most members of any region in the AAC and Pat Sanders sllould be given<br />

credit for excellent promotion of the goals of the AAC.<br />

Future National Conferences - Seattle (1984), Florida (1985), Chicago (1986)<br />

and Boston (1987).<br />

Plan to attend our Regional Conference this October and learn more about the<br />

AAC first hand. We think you'll be most impressed with the dedication<br />

of those involved.


Adele Jarnes ddry dah~nh/ Eag'~ /vny 19.3s I/OI IS A.H )L<br />

Recruiting love for children without homes<br />

A pl~otnpraph of a mdher and son<br />

hmps on ~r buncun bard wn<br />

Mck Jams's desk. A cspwn undermath<br />

reeds "I dldn'l plve hlm Mrth.<br />

b 1 gave hkn Me. Mopl a c11lM.<br />

A's as heauUful as hsv(ng a ba ."<br />

WhUKpMosophykhh 2<br />

Met's vohmlur work fw lhe Ulack<br />

ChUd Mvaalc gloup. whlch she<br />

cslabiishcd In Marlcopa Cwnfy. The<br />

proup rccrum qualined black famllln<br />

lo kcomc forlcr a adopUrc palenb.<br />

~ck. dam pnxemlng omcn<br />

nd knd q'stenu snalyn, was mccntly<br />

rwncd 8 "Sumtdj la '83," slaw<br />

wkh m a l other prominelil M-<br />

mans, by ANma LII ,'.!I megahe<br />

lor her w k WiUl UV gmup.<br />

Mek becnlne hvokd In !JK po-<br />

gram beCauX she bell~n lhal<br />

homeku children should be ralscd In<br />

lheh ow echnk background% and<br />

Iuls gmemmenlal and prhMe a+-<br />

Uar sgmcks arcn'l nhmya ell&<br />

In hhllllng lhal pl.<br />

'We adwxnle fa all black chlldrrn.<br />

butwefocu$onihoxwhomh<br />

Ihe scsle fder carc syslem:. Mek<br />

uplalned. 'We've found lhnc Is<br />

a greal mlscmceptlon atcul adoplbn.<br />

Pcopk bellen ihy haw lo ow a<br />

home, have I bc of money, and many<br />

aher requlremcms. whlch uen'l tnrr:'<br />

h Mder I0 ItC~ll bbck famllkl.<br />

Mek's gmup diucmlnaln Inlorma-<br />

Ucm lhrwgh klc(evlh and radio<br />

sdvtdxrncnll, wspaper arlkka.<br />

wwdd.m4 and ~bpUon krUvals.<br />

Thc most successful vehlcle Is<br />

through UV churches. Mek<br />

uplalned.<br />

When lhe group flnds a hlerested<br />

fatnity. I( conbar lhc Depnrcmenl<br />

of Economlc SCCUIIIY. The group UKn<br />

folbvo UV adqm process through<br />

In make wlc the lmnliy and cMld<br />

mc sealed falrly.<br />

&k's gmup also assld lhe sdop(-<br />

hg famRy WIUI Lhe muh& d<br />

papmk necessary fa tfte edoWn.<br />

The adoption process 11 a wrbus<br />

maltel, om ihM 14Ukc18 QIe*<br />

deal of understnndll~ and cansellng<br />

(Drn&ecmnhUrchedforctr*ten)<br />

and adopUve famliy ore compaUbk.<br />

Bcfm sdoptbn Lakes pbce. Ur<br />

whvcate group wakr wllh lhr ad*<br />

Ing famllles, enplalnlng whal to<br />

upcd horn the chlld.<br />

"Msny -1 theat losrcr cNMm have<br />

probkms." upblncd Mck. "MoU<br />

d (hem hmc k n tekm from lhclr<br />

Ilodlcrlly \i..lls lhc homo d<br />

orlglnal f~~llles becallse of some<br />

fonn 01 abuse. and ale lraunlallled by<br />

havtng lo deal wllh Ulal nl such an<br />

tsrkj e ~t We tspldn $0 \he nnu<br />

famGy nol lo upeci a lo1 oul of llic<br />

chlld lmmcdlalcty.<br />

"They need Utnc lo seltle lnlo ltlelr<br />

nw cnvtronmcnl. arld learn lo Vusl<br />

dxnorpamu.M\mUlCcM<br />

hm bccn bour~ced flan lamlty<br />

to famlty belore being adopted. and<br />

don't cxjwa \hh ncu mnlonmcn\<br />

lo k any dlllercnl."<br />

The group alw prwldes a 24.hour<br />

hdne la Ule famiHes.<br />

M e atr nbou( 200 hlnck children<br />

in me slates lmta care ryslcm.<br />

Mek up(shcd, n( 01 *h art<br />

Jmd 7 wars dd and older. But. she<br />

I~suu&nleaoylhkl.~..l<br />

lac h he i*acc.<br />

men1 d fmlcr children uhn ad@e<br />

familler<br />

fhlc d Uu dlfncult ayxd, d the<br />

Job h IKII bnomlng machcd lo<br />

Iht loslcr chikken. A&4e rrplnlnd.<br />

"SaneUmcs ihy come up lo yw and<br />

ark 'do you wan1 lo ado# me.' and<br />

you )U%t wam lo q. Vm ntuay, so<br />

ham wt~m n successful adopUan Is<br />

mmpkl~."<br />

&lc was a member ol a dmilsr<br />

group in Indiana IM semnl ycars.<br />

belole mwtng lo Ph~cnL. Wlnn d~c<br />

rrshcdLherrvarmUhhhw<br />

-<br />

group In he county. shr erlabl~shcd<br />

me. n* majorlfy d the wlunlurs<br />

aeVylcyBMkm.*rddlhe<br />

group k ahap Wng IM !we vd.<br />

hycoc hlcreSd h paad.<br />

paUng may conlad Mck.<br />

She Is also In hcr lhlrd year as<br />

chnlfpcfuw, la a Supfeme Cowl Fos.<br />

ccr Cue RNIHl Bosrd. The bond.<br />

also a wlunlccr gwp. revkurs COlCs<br />

monthly for lhe Slale Suprcme<br />

Cwfl and mnkn recommendnUons<br />

vheUwr a child ~hould rtmaln in<br />

a foslcr hc, be returned lo hls or<br />

her parrnlr. or consldercd for<br />

adoplir,,~<br />

k. p~e%ldtPn d \hc Black ClllM<br />

Mvaatc group. Mek pracUces whnl<br />

she pfeachra 7he phmpaph *)kh<br />

hangs on her bullelln bonrd Is d<br />

hersell end her son, who she sdopled<br />

uhmhc:~~14~dd."&nC-<br />

Umer he asks me why I sdotncd<br />

hlm, arid I rrll hlm. 1 boked al all lhc<br />

*en ad you're er mc 1 PkM<br />

because yw'le w spcclal.'"<br />

Adoption-advocacy group forms in Valley<br />

Dy krL.n v.(<br />

The I'hwnls Gmartt*<br />

Whrn uh<br />

Jane RucU tfkd to<br />

o, a h<br />

adhpt an older child 30 ymrn<br />

WB bdd. "You don't ned m a7<br />

option<br />

~lmry, vmr nerd a pnyrhialrinl."<br />

Nl~rmal p p k vurbd infanta, ihc<br />

wAr inlormrd.<br />

Ccr.ld Corn erscutivr director d<br />

thr ndn tion.avoe oqaniution<br />

RuwII f abr fnundx lovn to bll<br />

that &ry and then nport that ;he<br />

fn~mu ncmn nlnr t d r d in 1-<br />

Inn ML one but thrm "unadophb'7<br />

e"<br />

children.<br />

'l~ukll'a lndi it ma the number "l~ry -dnr what thry hid<br />

I<br />

rmnl."<br />

d chlldren worlgid; who wen eilhcr<br />

lahrlrd unadnphble or who Ian.<br />

The ntigm d fmbr nm han Ln k<br />

liahnl in ionto ern u afln yru<br />

mmoved. he uM, "ad hen's dl<br />

tnpid her to found ,T AIP.<br />

kindn d ~Upuu.''<br />

Fahr chiMrsn -tin(( lunch nl<br />

WAIF promom public education<br />

~hml dbn pry rith differen1 mlod<br />

rbnut Tmhr w e and adoption md d r ihm olhar children, he @a.<br />

hns lnhbitd eslmrively in Conp~<br />

plaid.<br />

Inr fwhr children's righb.<br />

"No ms wsnta tn stick out md k<br />

F5 rrant meeti at Pardbe dVImnt, m m a ti& mn't eat<br />

Va rey Cnuntry club, TIM a I 60 ~ r lunch." i ~<br />

nans met to orgmiu I Id rhapbr d When (bs &od phna r field kip<br />

WAIF, which hu chaphn in wen d osnda ham r mimion dip, nnt<br />

other rillen.<br />

only dcm Lhc ch P; d'a fabr p n t<br />

Or~mirin~ the Arirona cha ler ur<br />

Judy Walkinn nnd Jiunne Go dwaler,<br />

dnu hbr nl Arimna'n Stn. Rvry<br />

~~~aanter.<br />

H~narll addrnenl thc pup, u nll<br />

M Cnrnr~, who flew in lmm the New<br />

Ynrk City hrndqunrten.<br />

WAIF in not an adoption yency,<br />

Corner erplainrd brfort \he rnwtiny.<br />

It wruka with r~cntim (a promote ik<br />

intrrrrlw of hnrnrlru children and Lo<br />

wl II~ ndl~pligln partin whor prr.<br />

npcclivr ndnptive pnrrnln nnd rhil.<br />

drrn mn rnr*r.l rncl~nllv.<br />

1I11rwll mil. \\'nil n "mm~lhpirre."<br />

P<br />

"Fmler carc in aholulely ncuermry Chrnrr aaid nhn111 91, prmnt 01 dren 0111 nf l~wlcr care. In add lo the<br />

and bellrr than (he old orl~hnnn~es." that chilrlrtn hnvr hrcn adopted. pnnl nlrid~~p~al~lr children.<br />

rk told % Cnrrrfr in sn mrlitr Thr rn~ntry'r pnjr mnnmic ai111n. WAIF in rradv, hr noid,<br />

inhruiew. "nu1 kid,, grow u<br />

' Lion hnr IIII~ damprnrd nrrntn'dcnire *q+re<br />

ayrtcm, until lhey'rr 18, and l ! cn in lhcy lhr'<br />

don.( rllmFc~ with lnr81<br />

fil1nl)l. hill hn~ f rroullhl more ntla~ptinn n r~~lirfi,' hr erl~lnincd,<br />

go out on their own, nnd thry hnvr no childrrtr inln thr syrlrnl. Cr~rnrr finid, 01,~l wr wnr[wi;h 1hprn.*<br />

pnrenln.<br />

IIr nlho er icrlc Arirwn Srnnlc !\ill In 2R ymrn thal brrn<br />

"Our motto ir to haw a prmnrnl, 1114. whirk will pr~~\.icIr nrl~lili~~n~l<br />

bvin~ home for every child," Ruwcll Kmllndr rllr lrrminrlirlnnlurnl<br />

rxistc~~rc, hltmr~l hnvc hrrn lnl~tld<br />

pnrnl,s nn,, ml,r mnre l11r :lli,lXl(t el~ildrtn. t:nrnrr. ~ivw ihr<br />

1111lk II~ Ihr rrrdil In IIIIY.FII.<br />

uM, ddily:<br />

"The children hamn't oi a voia.<br />

We mv that we anrak for dl e vnimlru<br />

...- ~<br />

Chlldrrn vho linkr in lwtcr ure<br />

kin to feet nrcofni ctw. Caner mid.<br />

I<br />

have to ai(n, bul dtcn hia cueworker<br />

md a jtdgr.<br />

"ny thri time, the lield trip in<br />

over," Corm wid.<br />

Omr Ariznnn hu a WAIF rhaplrr.<br />

mluntrcn will p h<br />

Walkinn mid.<br />

P<br />

Ldoplhn partin.<br />

Cornrz el laid that at such<br />

partin. WAI ' wrka with adoption<br />

qencim who brina oldrr and hrndi.<br />

capped children Lo an "entrrvnpnnu"<br />

attcndcd by ulrbritin and prlnprc.<br />

live pawn& A\ nne psrtv in Cnlllc?r.<br />

nia. 1.~100 parrnh rhuwd up In mrrl<br />

52 lmlrr childrrn.<br />

A CIII1,D'S REAL I\fO?'IIER<br />

01ir crtlo/~frtf fi~lc-ycle~r-oltlcltrrr~~lrfc~r erskc,tl ~rtc. 11.1ro irrr rcrrl<br />

r~r~~rltc~r il.trs. 1lc.r ~~rorltcr is rrry .ci.t~rc'r-rrcc clccccg/~tcr's fitrctrr<br />

/ crtl.vlt*cr III~ eli~~c~lrf~~r'.~ c/tr~.~~iott:)<br />

l*orirr ~IIIII~.<br />

IIIIII~<br />

II i~ pcrfcctly nor~tiitl for yo~~r<br />

tlitupltlcr lo bc curious nboul<br />

~lic idcttlity of hcr bicllogicitl nlothcr. Ilotv she will rcnct<br />

u~licrt she Icill-ns nho~rt her special situittion will lnrpcly<br />

dcpcnd on how you nnd your sister handle the disclo-<br />

-....-<br />

>LII E.<br />

398 dortl~~<br />

I'nl n\vnre that this convcrsi~tion with your dnll~hler<br />

isn't going lo be an casy one. hut il won't beconic any<br />

cnsicr with lirirc. On \lie coljtrilry, if you plrt disclosure off<br />

for loo lonp, llic cliild mily rcscnl the fncl Illnl she was no1<br />

tnld toonct-. In i~ddilion, in this case lhcse is n very rciil risk<br />

111nt chc \rill bc told lhc 1r11lh by soniconc clsc.<br />

Yolrr sillrntinn is n complicated one so hp no mc:lns fccl<br />

----<br />

c~ill~;~~ I.:ICSC~! if YOII want to scck s o l p~~'Tcssinniil<br />

~ ~ ~ counacting<br />

to 1lci11 will1 it. I rcgil~tl vcry positi\'e lhnl yollr<br />

il ;IS<br />

siclcr i< yollr tlrn~glltcr's h~voritc ilulll i111d 111il1 n SlrOllg.<br />

I~ci~lll~)' l;cltitl exists i,c(\vccrt Iltcrli. W'hill Illis cillt niciln is<br />

11i11l the cliil~l will grow II~<br />

\viIh 1~11 role 1ttl111cI% in licr<br />

lili.-\v~~lnclt slic lo\,cs \,cry IIIIIL'~ itntl whit love hcr. It i~<br />

i~ttpo~ti~t~t. IIII\\~CVC~,<br />

111i11 Y I. di~t~pht~~. ~III~WS IICYOIIII<br />

ttr:~c yc~ir nrc rllc ~i~(irllcr who will r:~isc hcr 11nd he<br />

rccpcinsil~lc fclr her l~n~il SIIC is 111111iIt111.<br />

I


SEARCH ASSISTANTS<br />

Jan Deahl 841-7693<br />

JoAnne Lee 247-2498<br />

(evenings & Sat)<br />

Karen Tinkhnm 935-9702<br />

(9a.m. to Noon)<br />

Ann Mehrtens 953-3256<br />

Maurice Trager 967-7641<br />

Barb Wodrich 938-2597<br />

or 937-5549<br />

Please be considerate when<br />

calling for search help.<br />

we ask that you observe<br />

the hours mentioned above<br />

and don't call during dinner!<br />

Thanks! l<br />

CARING NUMBERS<br />

Dorothy Foster 969-6042<br />

~irth~arent - Adoptee<br />

V i Pierce 972-3483<br />

Birthparent<br />

Lorraine Kazmier 838-4270<br />

Adoptive Parents<br />

Lynne Hellmers 997.2557<br />

Teen Rap Group<br />

Fairy Mae McKiernan 944-4729<br />

Adoptive Parent Class<br />

Diane Eckstein 277-7138<br />

Individual & Family<br />

Counseling<br />

If your newsletter is checked here, it<br />

.<br />

is time for you to renew<br />

We thank you for your support this last<br />

year and hope you will continue to be part<br />

of our membership. Please send your $15<br />

($7.50 for out-of-town people who want only<br />

the newsletter) check to Jim McDonald<br />

4327 W, Carol Ave., Glendale, Az 85302.<br />

Newsletter labels are printed by the<br />

1st of the next month, so please respond<br />

by then. Thanks!<br />

I<br />

-<br />

-<br />

Statlonm:<br />

I<br />

3019 E. Sc~uthern Ave.<br />

WVK.TV, Chnnnel 3 Ph~enix, Ark. 85040<br />

(ARC) 243-:\333<br />

DelborL Lewln, genernl mnn. Network@:<br />

sgcr<br />

AI3C<br />

3435 N. 18th SL 2040 Avenue ol the Slnrn<br />

Phtmnix, Ariz. 85016 Century City, Cnlil. DO(I:lR<br />

266.569 1 CRS<br />

KPHO.TV, Chnnnol h Telcvisitrn City<br />

(Indepenrlent<br />

7800 Rcvcrly Hlvd.<br />

Richerd DeAngelia, general I,on Angelen. Cnlil. MKI:II)<br />

mnnnger<br />

NUC<br />

4016 N. Rlnck Cnnyun 3lHN W. Alnme~ln Avc.<br />

Ph~~nix, Ariz. 85017 Ilurhnnk, Cnlil. 91523<br />

2G4-1000<br />

PUS<br />

' KAET.TVl Chnnnel ' 475 L'Enlnnl Pln7n S.W.<br />

(PUS) Wnnhington, D.C. 20024<br />

Rnbert Ellis, ~enernl mnnnger<br />

Arizonn Stab University Cable:<br />

Tempe, Ariz. 85281<br />

Home Dux Ollice<br />

965-3506 Timc & LiCc Building<br />

KTSP-TV, Chnnncl 10 Rockefeller Center<br />

(CBS) New Ynrk, N.Y. 10020<br />

Jack Sander, genernl manager E-SPN<br />

611 W. Adnrns St. ESPN Plnzn<br />

Phoenix, Ariz. 85003 Briatnl, Conn. 013010<br />

257-1234 ARTS<br />

a KIJNX-TV, Chnnnel 12 1330 AVCIIIIC 111 LhL! r\lll~ri~tl~<br />

(NRC) Nrw York, N.Y. 10019<br />

C.E. "I'ep" Cooney. general .'rho Movie Chnnncl<br />

mnnnger<br />

1211 Avencie ol thc Amcricns<br />

P.O. Rox 711<br />

Nrw Ynrk, N.Y. lW:IG<br />

Phoenix, Ariz. 85001<br />

Showtime<br />

267-1212 1211 Aven~~e rif the Amcricns<br />

KNXV-TV, Chnnncl '6 ~ e York, w N.Y. IOO:!~<br />

(Independent)<br />

a Spotlight<br />

Edwin C~~@rahin, R~~~~~~ 2951 28th st,, Suite 2000<br />

mnnnger<br />

3722 E. Chlpman Rond<br />

Snntn Monica, Cnlif. 90505<br />

(213) 460-6488<br />

Phoenix, Ariz. 85040<br />

243-4151 USA<br />

208 Herristown Rond<br />

KP<strong>AZ</strong>-TV' Chnnnel<br />

Glen Rond, N.J. 07452<br />

(TEN)<br />

Phillip Crouch, general man- e WON-TV<br />

ager<br />

2501 Rrndley Place<br />

P.O. Box 5210 Chirngn, 111.60618<br />

Phoenix, Ariz. 86010<br />

Nnahvilla Network<br />

273.1477 2806 Oprylnnd Drive<br />

KTVW-TV, Channel 33 Nnshville, Term. 37214<br />

I (SIN) W'I'BS-TV<br />

- Danny Villnnuevo, gencrnl 1050'rechwnod Drive N.W.<br />

mnnngcr Atlenh, Gn. 30<strong>318</strong><br />

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. .,. ... .<br />

. ..<br />

, .. ., .. . . ,<br />

. . .<br />

: . ., , . , . .<br />

SEARCH ' TRIAD ' Inc.. . . . . . . . .<br />

' ' -BOX: 1432..<br />

. ,<br />

'.<br />

. .<br />

Litchf ield Perk, ~rizona '85340<br />

Vol. VIII No. 3<br />

Karen Tinkham<br />

Executive Director<br />

Lorraine - - Kazmier - .<br />

President<br />

I<br />

Policy:<br />

<strong>Search</strong> <strong>Triad</strong> Inc. is an independent, non profit organization<br />

offering a free service of idea exchange, volunteer support<br />

and educational guidelines in the adoption triangle. We are a<br />

member of the American Adoption Congress, a coalition of<br />

individual8 and groups nationwide who support more openess in<br />

adoption.<br />

I'<br />

I,<br />

a<br />

'<br />

NEXT MEETING<br />

We offer an open meeting to adults in search, although we do<br />

not advocate birthparenis searching for minors or minors<br />

searching for birthparents. Counseling is available.<br />

July 14th at 7830 p.m.<br />

A11 saints' Episcopal Church<br />

Manning Hall<br />

6300 North Central Avenue<br />

Phoenix<br />

Executive Board meets at<br />

6r30 p.m.<br />

General meeting with some<br />

exciting reunions. <strong>Search</strong><br />

~ssistance available as well<br />

as rap groups for pre-reunion<br />

and post reunion.<br />

"To forget one's ancestors is to be a brook without<br />

a source, a tree without root."<br />

Birthparents of minor children are<br />

encouraged to s2t in on either of<br />

the rap sessions offered.<br />

-Chinese Proverb<br />

FUTURE MEETINGS<br />

August 11th<br />

September 22nd (4th Thursday - just<br />

this once)<br />

October 13<br />

November 10<br />

December 8<br />

Mark your calendar now so you won't<br />

miss a meeting.<br />

Teen Rap Group - Adoptive Parent<br />

Discussion Grow meets on<br />

Thursday July 2i.<br />

HELP! HELP!! HELP!!! HELP! !I! Do I have your attention7 We need your help!<br />

As we grow in numbers, little problems become big problems. If you change<br />

your address, please take the time to notify us. If your newsletter is<br />

returned to us-we must pay postage. When ybu call a search assistant for<br />

some help, please observe the calling hours! Some husbands sleep during the<br />

day, some of us have youngsters that have a nap time. Be polite, don't call<br />

at dinner time and always ask if this is a good time to talk! Remember, we<br />

are volunteers who care, but we have other responsibilities too. <strong>Search</strong><br />

Assistants give their time freely, all they ask is that you call when you find<br />

to share your news. That is their pay day!!<br />

The meeting date for September was changed because we felt it would be<br />

inappropriate to meet on Rosh Hashanah. All Saints' was not available to<br />

us on the lSth, so we will meet on September 22nd. A newsletter will go<br />

out in mid-September, but not in August.<br />

Thanks to those that sent in articles, cartoons, etc. for the newsletter.<br />

We appreciate your imput. We hope each of you will find something of<br />

interest in the newsletter.<br />

Gold stars go to Jan Deahl and Ann Mehrtens who did a fantastic jab<br />

on the Starer Cable TV Talk Showl Almost 30 minutes of non stop talk!


Nancy Miller joined us in February of this<br />

year- and has Gorked patiently on her search.<br />

She has discovered that her mother died 10 vears<br />

ago. She has spoken with her father, af te;<br />

sending a carefully worded letter. He was<br />

delighted to hear from her, Nancy will share<br />

details at the meeting.<br />

'i ..,w<br />

1 i:k ,..<br />

\ >': ;i;.<br />

Tammie Gainer, a Phoenix born adoptee, also -<br />

Joined us in February. Tammie had more info<br />

than most and carefully followed up all leads.<br />

The important clue was her father's former<br />

employer. Tamie was told her father died in Texas,<br />

The death certificate took time getting her, but this<br />

was the link she needed. She has made contact with<br />

siblings in Texas and her mother in Plorida. A reunion<br />

was to take place in Texas thanks to Tammie's folks who are<br />

flying her there for the occasion. We can't wait to see your<br />

pictures l<br />

A<br />

John Dosch, a birthmother from Tucson, joined us in May. She was encouraged<br />

to update her information. When she contacted her agency, it was discovered that<br />

the adoptive family had also contacted the agency. In very short time a reunion<br />

meeting was arranged between John and her daughter Stacy. John attended her<br />

daughter's graduation a few days later attending the ceremony with the adoptive<br />

parents, and then returning to their home for the graduation party. We are<br />

very excited for all of you and appreciate so much the sensitivity of the<br />

social worker handling this case!<br />

Ann Wittke of Wyoming, an Arizona adoptee, was in Phoenix recently and had a<br />

chance to meet her birthmother for the first time. "It was a warm, special<br />

meeting. She was very understanding and I really felt she was sorry her<br />

situation was so interfering. She never has had a friend to share this with.<br />

Not when it happened, not even now. That must be very hurting for her.<br />

We parted friends. I'<br />

Mike Berdine is in Iowa now meeting siblings and other assorted family<br />

members. You'd better have all your film developed by the 14th Mike!<br />

Gail Carmack has been anxiously waiting for her agency in Peoria, Illinois<br />

to find and make contact with her mother. It finally happened. Gail had to<br />

write a letter and send photos through the agency, She received a letter back<br />

from her birthmother, again through the agency, The letter contained no last<br />

name or address. The contact was positive and Gail feels very comfortable<br />

with the role the agency has played in this reunion.<br />

Susi Gay, a birthmother, has made contact with the agency that placed her<br />

daughter. She has found two wonderful social workers there and contact<br />

has been made wfth the adoptive mother. Hopefully a meeting will happen<br />

soon. Susi has worked very hard to get this far and we applaud her for<br />

never giving up!<br />

Sue Mills found many months ago and was reunited with her mother on Fantasy.<br />

She recently had the chance to meet briefly with her father who was passing<br />

through from Florida on the way to California for his mother's 80th birthday.<br />

Sue found him very comfortable to be with but regretted that his viait was<br />

so short. This Friday Sue and her family fly back to Chicago to meet the rest<br />

of the family1<br />

There will always be new frontiers as long as there is a<br />

single open mind and a willing hand.<br />

Editor's note - trouble with the carbon ribbon this month, so we will put<br />

the National News in the September issue. Sorry but the cloth ribbon is<br />

often extremely hard to read.


Iwutdilk.mta)athi.~tytoMDna~ofthlatsmt<br />

in ths McQti~ man+.' Bhrstiar Progrsn's gr8-a&&rn<br />

clruues. As many of ycu are ahmay -, begLvriFq with the ~sruary 1983<br />

clau aeries, aw nymnt of arr program krludsd rzaehing nw: vs<br />

Lrlrd.dOadult~inauagada-~~~~iuxlfayd<br />

hb~pamuandcnm~hadmimarmstinJlFngm.<br />

D) Lack Of Informatim, Had Oivm It Little lhaqht - 25t<br />

? h m t L ~ f a t h i . ~ ~ n a t t o ~ a . e M d c n t h d a d<br />

~~,httratlmrto&~twmuldtoall~tathf.Msrms E) Carld NX See Hmning In Soarch - 21<br />

fmailim lnl, to mrrsr mi.Monmticn, hrhq art fsellngs, to pmmt<br />

?he<br />

all th das of tho L.U. withart nnkbg My jldgaat. -a<br />

m%t qudm dalt vith a self-aucowant of any pmt-neuim<br />

unrim. this addLtiaml oarrro smpmt wuld halp fanillas to<br />

attitude ehangea. The reaponsen on search wore divided into five<br />

f r l m rmlrPd abarr isman during thair ddld'm graringysus.<br />

cateqariem r<br />

On mpdum m carsfully Cham, iuxl tm-qgmsi~. nYJ uardr<br />

-ti-<br />

-<br />

tnd ban mnitsd vith him birth paeats am a raarLt of a<br />

mrCh Md& o=wrrud after fiM N. birth fimily iuxl thm h had signad up<br />

vith. lunim rqi.uy.<br />

Sam of ax rsfarral ccrmrmtty w M~M am to lvf this nm<br />

!add affect th mecuiry of \ait.ing LulwLive para- - biluther<br />

ma&?& mka th.m fr1 nrps, ar lra, meluEi. Tb tahrhte au<br />

rrult., a, svaluaricn fosm mu onphd by a toLal of B4 puscru ad<br />

Lrlrdd M<br />

clan suiem and bn pst-sdoprfm parenting<br />

grap. 'Ih qwatiam Mt vith thm d par.plceive onvyaj to thm<br />

durbq thd.r -M hm mtrdy and pra and pat-scsrim attituks Md<br />

oaxum. I darbe that this u~~ld mrs+ltu-a a formal survey, bat I<br />

p'd lm htmntd in th malts, ~ l s u .<br />

ThfoUwhqprg.R..rruthranrltsintsblefonn. ltnfix8t<br />

~ d r l t V i t h ~ O f w a r r h ~ t h h e m s u r f y , M t h s<br />

prrslt. u it. nu rarrpaua .em cLA8.ifid imo sk typ. am<br />

-1<br />

w 2) Lthral- llt<br />

(I\ 3) ---lor<br />

\i 5) Srrch-l=or+icn<br />

-<br />

')--,<br />

of mm stldy t&t Yet rbmdled - 7t<br />

6) bb w e Ib aJattcn - 2%<br />

[It .trPlld b addd b r m tht scmr of th p a w stared Wabally<br />

tht Chy sinply OaAM mt rscall \mat w, d A abarr saarch<br />

eing eh.k surfy.3<br />

3.<br />

lln next q-estim dealt with a oe:f-cusesmt of pr+-sessicn searc!j<br />

attiud.~. Ih. reopnnes vsra divided into five cateqoriemr<br />

8) Sara, mt Plmqeahle, Crrranrs - 198<br />

C) Vcry A;prahmsive - 8t<br />

A) Uo Atutude Changs - M<br />

e) mcmamod mien - m<br />

C) Rlt Sons Reauurance - 1BI<br />

D) Fult Great RMsnVarra - 2M<br />

E) oDIp1at.e Poritive Attitud. awqa Or Wa3cbq ltaanb Qr - 13t<br />

nYJnostnxahle mrrlushfraPthars statistics is ths fact that mt<br />

are pstscn mpzt.4 iraeaaed a- fmn hearing &out smrch. No<br />

mts varo rsflsttM Of imxeaMd FrueolrLty hre rathsr ku&md<br />

ability to imk at their attitrrdeo and feelingm iuxl to dual with BaMh as<br />

an iwn with=ut bsmpFng alarnsd. A. tho mtataaat w nude that an<br />

lwxKate avaLuBu Of their fwung. uu cnrial to nakhg the right<br />

dri.icnfathAxPao,ardth~sa~surudmkrrrn<br />

influmm in eithwr dLrcLLn, this mrludm mrt b at la8t ma&mt<br />

-ta.<br />

Ih. m* pwrLicn daalt wLth pnt-mash faalllea'<br />

dinqrerm+ vith th folbdng sca-1<br />

1az-ASr<br />

1 -, tirky, andMth~hqrpofoldwud..<br />

n agreerent, 584 dimagrsaaslt<br />

2. ~rnnoe~x~cnmyadrquscy~ap==t.<br />

18 agreansnt, M disagrsaaslt<br />

3. Part of my child'. id-tity *ch has rDthilq to do with lm.<br />

5n agtssram. a dissgrsaran+<br />

4. Aarriolitythtalladopusnha\ntormadqra.<br />

738 agr-t, 278 disagrwnsnt<br />

ar<br />

CC.<br />

6. A rrallty p face *hrr raF.kq did with tw ut.8 of prmtm.<br />

7m .msrmt, z3 dLrprrnC<br />

8. t& r e v due to mfhishd platiaunirea.<br />

5t<br />

'Ihcrsumdtolmsrmral.~rhiehhalpdtorrak.thisuuim<br />

an qpumtly pitivo aqrrriarr rat- tbn a thrutmiq an. &th<br />

v~uaints--a. m ~ t ~ - m ~ ~ e d ~ ~<br />

warctramcto~.~h. mmf-walwystoanadult-.<br />

Ih.parart.uareablsto.rthshmecinaofth@-rmlaud.<br />

l h u can be a Wthy sipl of raala. Ch of th adcpta wm alm an<br />

parmt and cllrld mlat. m an -H parant's onmn Dcncrrru<br />

that thsy OaAM *h. thdr child to th bWI parrrt., iuxl ttmt thair<br />

cNld might tu davaMted & a m).rrion. matltia at this pint & lrre<br />

kdicau a pradPakrsrra of .srrrh in the qeneml adaptme pqulatim. Ch<br />

strrfydrwdthatmart=hoJavrrdinanartof216%bpmu. Ihmmry<br />

has al- hal qan rsacrd., ywt its t.i6 am cnly egpmrhl by w<br />

psrcancof~ka~tomsm. Wonndemcnrlushabarrfvona<br />

I s r r , ~ ~ i n ~ a b a R t h l r l r l ~ a n d n u y u u c f i r<br />

to be mNd wit* th. hlp of th muu. I wutd alm pDkrr cat<br />

tlmt mmrch is grrarally rh M clam of th pr8-e.- suh, iuxl<br />

p M i o r m u i a u 1 M n l a y a ~ t i m ~ ~ m ~ t y<br />

guest hW1 mthers. bonding, answering the child's questions, and<br />

ndallmw th dLti-.<br />

ICpuNldilk.co~thf.~j.ahcthu,plrwhtmkror.<br />

Invfs,ofthsbDur, ~um&l~tob.m-mttomhkutn<br />

uutN.&mmt. I f ~ ~ w o r l o h b t o t h u m t n r tha y ,<br />

plan be kM sagh to nddn m aomrdirqly. It is to m tht<br />

m r o n l d a a ~ a u l m ~ ~ C P ( O ~ ~ t b ~ m r r m<br />

*--.<br />

5. An issue that Mghtans all sderprive pnrsnU to urn, dagrPo.<br />

35t sgresrrnt. 656 d-<br />

- I<br />

msT-cUss AmmE<br />

(in number of '.ersona)<br />

RE-CUSS AlTITUDE A 1 B C I D l E<br />

I<br />

or Thrrarmed 33 0 0 L 1 KEY TO POST-CUSS AlTITVOES<br />

om, but tianageble.<br />

Cancer118 3 0 L 5 L A - No articuda change - b42<br />

B - Incrra88d apprehension - 02<br />

ckrd Informat*on 1 0 1 0 1 7 1 8 1 5 E - ~om~l;ce posiclve accirude<br />

uldn'c See Hraning<br />

change or working toward@<br />

n <strong>Search</strong> Experience 0 0 I 1 0 one - 132<br />

-3-<br />

z*<br />

PRE-CUSS ATIITUDES<br />

.(in number of arsons)<br />

WE snm P~SPECIIPE I A I B I c D I E<br />

I I 1<br />

:u C.-verage - 152 3 2 2 5 I KES TI' PRE-CUSS ARIT?9ES<br />

I I I I I<br />

fberal - - 112 7 2 0 0 0 A Hot rhrearened - b52<br />

B -<br />

Sor, but nmageable,<br />

concern. - 192<br />

C D Very Lacked apprehensive<br />

informarion, - 82 had<br />

lt;l-32Z ~ l ; ~ ~ i ; i ; ~ O l<br />

earch Portion of Home<br />

rudv Noc Reached - 71<br />

'0 Rmsponme to<br />

l uescion - 252 I0 0<br />

siven lirtle rhou~ht - 252<br />

E - Could nor see waning in<br />

amarch experlence - 2%


ZC<br />

Indian-children program loses funds in definition dispute<br />

ByJiaL*- bn etianpt to pka ig~!ad 8 "lunar- r definition,'' BuUsr *n nnr ll~ltirm to in WrbirylM md ir lnr. in Q-, uid<br />

W w childnn ritb ulradsd lh WU wid. be 'b lar lunds awaiting T i mnridstr. (hby f.es i& fiw.<br />

lirc d hbf family ncmbm nr Tbs lW Child Wel. Bulkr mid the BIA i8 undu% uL tion LbaBIA bardof d.1 u~~<br />

* r m b f w 8 urh lndb f d a , d- tn Ad d b funding making the mnent nf The Phosnir indirn .PW%<br />

Wing cub vill rf.<br />

1-e.uy eon. b Tun P q d th mly (a in Ghl mmmmIa to Canter, whaa rundin# Diredm of ihe 'he. feet 100 frmilia in 'he.<br />

Gkawb tbo rdm d the PPbpa irh- U~ff.-rtian" mu, propae ebmusr for nn out Rid.y kt cn wa Indian Center lad m in A-t md hvt<br />

r b r ~ ~ ~ tu. r d -<br />

)W ' wbm an- as~t ~IU\ yur lhl for fuodr to rhs rh Native ~MDI affectad 66 fadim in<br />

ehhary. At Lu, a(u dk- "srztin Lbs rniddla of would dbw ladh can. BLA mtnl mn diii lot Cammunity A&, , p-.<br />

- --. -<br />

A i v jrd rt (mry,haddjonby<br />

(L ~unv d intiiin 1 fl<br />

h<br />

ri(b.- bYln -z Anhb (bs<br />

dm,l.rarrPadfm *h%oo.<br />

(hir"ddpbd tam(bm ctvm<br />

iarpualhb bdi&,.h=<br />

-ha)mli R.yW,Ldd<br />

Pbarh;T.Ow* cpblrniafmtbu<br />

PlrSdt<br />

BU in Wnbgim rid<br />

Tbm Idun Child (br&lpuCornt&ld<br />

Charlie -.<br />

WaKh Ab dbn (L in 1874 Lbrt Indirn<br />

I<br />

I<br />

asun to i.L.wou bib rodd Wcr 'Yn".<br />

rk-&Wmah +mmr%u.<br />

b b: ah bs CL.ir rouwrtion" ro Lbrt<br />

(.srilLL.ruwdd- rnio add k U. . .<br />

4d'.i'udm&cL<br />

IMdedtoldLaIi*<br />

wb.Oumu- dtLbrullw.<br />

Pboairk8baoda.<br />

e,<br />

% THE <strong>AZ</strong>LI~NA<br />

I<br />

--._...<br />

M.L,<br />

Y'l<br />

Adoption makes history 9<br />

'we're so happy. It's almost too good<br />

m<br />

REPUBLIC -Jackie Pittman<br />

~ , r J ~ 1 , 1 # 8 S .,<br />

Deputy At(omy Cuunl Lnd mbd,&'dberblctovhithtr<br />

rqululy. At pacot,m(rtion hr<br />

,i "9 Neil<br />

bmlimitedtooaccrmonth.<br />

Ttu Pittnum hsvc cakm cum d<br />

\ Solomon, M.D childrm lor (hm yan, but<br />

JuliehuIbunrithUmnrhlo~<br />

Adoption not linked<br />

Zo emotional woes<br />

at<br />

Por (bc pui ho ~un .be rltmdedrpnrhmlrrCLrkh-<br />

m~t~dtbir~yd- livmtbcrbuvstodoptban~ pitt-ridibrdoawtlu*~<br />

qSuterhildnlLrrc&isl~h*c -nm. ~ l qulrm y lbout the ' ~@cII~ M.<br />

OOU)YOY: Do dopted children tend ic e-.-~titud.ia "~'~ulic'nrvrunlmabarhdr, mdb&ptkm,rminlyk<br />

k d pr~bbmr Lha dbu cbildrcn? C 1983 Tllbun. L.omprrr) S).na$catr. lnc<br />

4Uhur curring mediul problem8 and crul Julie'r ~ aml m o k in ~<br />

AII R~O~IIS R@~?tvso<br />

Mn. J.A.<br />

b/19<br />

* ibcdoptimrudby<br />

a .<br />

(ht'8thtrsuoDrbcdddadtO a-l<br />

'I. : .Your check, sir-and by the way. I'm an<br />

~lllg~Adoplimdarml.ppulabee \~JudpMd.LiuGuyrbor p11btrupfor~Pieho.n "Yaran'trcrminrtrtheporm.<br />

rriar olr of smdiolvl pabkrm in children. 3dhwupcLdritb~yud dd%betbou#hthmuldbebrt tdrigbtadmmnwjwtbcuuv<br />

P fm tht Cut WmM Raem Unw orphan."<br />

~ d t b r ~ Lfba&ugblerruinrhomcri(b tbeymill.TbLruthemly~y<br />

irp Grbod d Mdiam in ClenLnd hm rrporccd on "We'n m brppy. It'n tm r mDthr and htbcr rbcrr itu to lo. Thc rtUm pcoplt rp<br />

8 rdy 4 mWe UUn 6.m p(icnU a8ll at I podtobc~"&J&jePitl. dddmbcl. pDlcbdbrr~~~molhu)~n<br />

p&ht&diDicasrrI&)upaiod. laqwba.brdybulour- %emrderlremcDdwnoi- iidiheapd,"Pittmu,uid<br />

Sxmht (ha 100 of C&w htr nrr &b~bomBtoD.W.rll fietoutofLovrfor&r&u&tn. 1WitwiUrakoutfme.I<br />

fadbbnsbssa cam *ae ito bnba.8brirjm1bu*ihrl" You an't ul: for .njU~& mae think it'r gomi ibc rill know bet<br />

(be md non. Pinrmr, rid Ult +tion Uu ch.n hL" moltur. I1 rill au my doukr<br />

rr(.d b thair pyehtlric mdt poriblr w b tbc w. Pit- wid hat ewn W h rbwl bend in Lbc yan to amr<br />

pmoe ~aike J'Julic'8 Julir'g ~ t w d m,olhcr d l not w] my diuhk ~ IK Dmbltm<br />

molherudthe ladomof Iuvr r v in how Lhr child h Jorych.ny."<br />

%n<br />

b


~iolo~ical link can't guarantee unwed fathers' rights, high court rules 1<br />

k+kWinRnbr<br />

WASHINGTON - Patha<br />

~ tif ta<br />

b hi1 to a H h a +"97k?~'Z&<br />

lhir il tltruta childten, Lhe Suprmr Cawt dalued 63<br />

00 &y:<br />

khqinaRsrYuka,U*<br />

"m e r n h d a bidopiCll lin<br />

n* &ity d ~w mh(iaahii ala b itapmtant io<br />

hiniy( a falhw'n rich* chr murt uid<br />

n* rulim rr a defeat fa Jmhn hhr. who cldmd<br />

Umt hi* rkhb rm violated when a Nw Yak family murt<br />

- w~thout Mtifyim him or retting hu corucnt - lrl hm<br />

"' -*-old daurhbr h. dmlcd bv a alrnfatho in 1971).<br />

- ---<br />

... As<br />

for reports that Billie Jean<br />

King, 39, plans to adopt a<br />

baby later this year, husband<br />

Larry jokes, "Maybe<br />

Billie Jean is going to sura<br />

prise me. I'm always the<br />

last to know." Billie Jean.<br />

who has admitted to having<br />

* been<br />

an abortion in 1971, has<br />

trying to have a baby 1<br />

for the last six years, and<br />

Larry acknowledges that<br />

they have considered alter- .<br />

natives-though his wife's<br />

aflair with Marilyn Barnett<br />

might make il difficult to go<br />

through normal channels.<br />

"There's ail kinds of ways<br />

to get a child other than formal<br />

adoption agencies." he<br />

says. As a matter of fact, he<br />

reveals, three years ago<br />

the Kings assumed legal<br />

Shane. now 14.<br />

I<br />

lb .i(nifii d a bid- mnnocUon ia Uul it<br />

dm<br />

-<br />

U* n(unl farha an opportunity thal no olher mals<br />

to dmlop a mhlidip with hi* offaprin~,"<br />

SZzJbhn ~ aul s.*ro(. fa U* ear*<br />

"U h that oppor(unity and wxpb *war<br />

d rapmibility fa U* child1& fulum, hs may<br />

mjq U* Wnga d tha prrrnt.ehild mlationahip. .. If<br />

h f.iL to do rn (h f d d Cuutitulion will nd<br />

aulanatally rmrrpsl a ahla lo IL(m lo hu opinion of<br />

rh.la (h chiM'a bat in- lin<br />

Jucica Rymn White, T h d Manhll ad Hawy<br />

Rkkmun dirnted, aipinl thal "a bioleal mnn&n<br />

ir itrif a mhtioruhip that crratn a prnktrd inlmeL''<br />

n* jusUrm, upholding Nm Ynrk'n ryalcm for<br />

pmlrclinr the rirhlr 111 fathen of chilclrrn lw~rn nut nf<br />

S~gatm Mothers<br />

I was sickened to read in your story on<br />

surrogate mothers the comment that<br />

many couples who want to adopt balk<br />

at the "shortage of newborn Caucasions."<br />

What a sick, selfish mentality! it<br />

is the height of irresponsibility to seek<br />

to bring more children into the world<br />

when thousands of children go unadopted<br />

because they are too old or<br />

the "wrong" color.<br />

John Combs<br />

Orlando. Fla.<br />

wedlak, mid men rho dm& prbmity or rurw hhdy<br />

mponubilily mm owed U* umr pmdunl rigb r<br />

unwed mo(hsn.<br />

~u(~aht~aawmdi~e~olrr(&<br />

"(He) has nc*a had any ai ifmnt d i n l ~<br />

a liiuncid relalimrhi with raia" ~lmn<br />

- "ud<br />

hsdidnotrcahtoa~~lhha~d(i.un(ila(lsih.rr2<br />

ymn old."<br />

Mort ahln haw muted lm requiriw orrbh h<br />

d and<br />

fathen, much .I thaw hl lin with or=<br />

muppnrt for their children, lo b notilid d<br />

pmndinw<br />

Nm York'm law allm umd falhen Lo &ta if t b ~<br />

wmnl in hr nntifid of nny dnptinn praetdinp<br />

Justices dismiss I<br />

'paternity' suits I<br />

against 2 women l I<br />

I<br />

'Revem paurnity," suiu filed by the Marimp. i<br />

County attorney apr~nst lw Tempe wmen were I<br />

ordered diamiucd Tuuday by the Ariro~Supremc<br />

Coun<br />

The suiu were bwht on behdf of the suppaud<br />

fathen of the women's children. but the Supreme I<br />

Court ruled that rtak law does not allw the filing<br />

dauch anions.<br />

SUk law don not pennit Lhc filing of a palcrnity<br />

,<br />

action against anyone other than n man alupeettd II~<br />

fathering a child, Justin Jama ,Dukr Camerun<br />

wrote in the murt'a unanimous opinlon.<br />

The court issued ita decuion in separate special<br />

maions filed by Cheryl Sheldriek, a Tempe travel /<br />

agent, and Donna Jean Traphagan, an unemployed<br />

elcctronia worker.<br />

The women asked thr murt to overturn ~lincr<br />

bj. Superior Court Judge Cheryl Hendrix. who<br />

refused to dismiu the suiu filed b t yeu by the<br />

mnty attorney.<br />

The auit against Sheldrick wught to have Tempe<br />

rmident hlichacl SLen~er. 32, named as the father of<br />

her 16.month.old son. Aaron Sheldrick.<br />

Sheidrick's lawyer. B~ce Feder, conundr that<br />

Stenper wu ualng the null in an atlcmpt to re. i<br />

nublish s relationship with Sheldrick. Sten~er IIU I<br />

&nid the allegation.<br />

The adon against Trapha~~,yhl to have<br />

Tempe raidmt Mahmud Vak~l~ Mark" klc~e. ,<br />

hdam, 23. named ar the father of her 13.month.old j<br />

daughlcr. Michelle Lynn Traphagan.<br />

. 'lhpha~an's lawyer. Edwin P. Young, contend\ I<br />

chat hloghadam, an Iranian national, vanu to bf ]<br />

nmd the father of her child u plvt of an effort to<br />

& U.S.<br />

i<br />

citizenhip. Moghadun could not be<br />

r 4 d for comment Tuesday.<br />

C.O. Lamp, a deputv count<br />

lr<br />

attorney. aqued ,<br />

rlut the two men wand to be ulsrtd the fathen<br />

w they could he ordrrrd to pay child suppan<br />

The Supreme Court uid, however. that neither I<br />

Sewer nor Mqhmdmm wu a 1 4 party in the 1<br />

I<br />

I<br />

1 . 'Siqgle Mother By Choice' Puts Her Needs Above<br />

bhild's Need #or Father<br />

"""L<br />

nd-.<br />

-npnnaa*nf-Lo<br />

t L . r r ( d m r m ~ d d raLfaF.Lutynunmdutogd<br />

%IfaR(br'aLky,Umy-p. widudharlnby."<br />

c L ' ~ " p b t o & f a U n Ib'd.bao(b.nbycbdo*"fff<br />

tdr.&t*hudmdidn. WrntdIliiloicaiaTbry<br />

I.r.damhlodrgam-<br />

@Unddniti.IfaMii<br />

UhaqhdbLtL.bdriI<br />

'nmbiobgkdcbctrr(irfial.<br />

*rm.adda.ietL.*hd ~jwlpl.ia~rsd,aboby.%<br />

htUrddbydatbadrrcim thywatOUIto~rb.tt&y<br />

mld .<br />

~cUIPatbdaDlyh~.<br />

with a .pcLI pmbkm.<br />

I i m d d U* moth of mmm.<br />

dduioDd or diwouqd at-the<br />

pmpc~ for ihual p-nw, fin $<br />

duidc to giw up hoping and go)^ '<br />

alone."<br />

ddadmrbourfltMa<br />

omIing*mo(brrbocharntifi.<br />

,..<br />

1 .<br />

61" ehrprih.cbdadtbcirmotba<br />

&I iinumimtim cdd a re- "I<br />

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done mom<br />

did it ch slry my. No rwr<br />

than ahndon ths.tmdi.<br />

No ticad family. They tuve embrahd rhe<br />

IalW7OhnnjwtaqW.- fu"<br />

notion h t fathcn m ihe dispnrs.<br />

~ f ~ M d ~ m o r tI Laa a n only am a ho romcn who<br />

rbonmrryrridNa~ur<br />

bk, dbpcuble purnta, handy bwwt<br />

md.thbd&ionIbmymors ViUL<br />

~UnnamlllimauhIrmilia rbo W about modern u~~vsd<br />

Only a d pmporcioa d tba<br />

Pahp rh.1 t CNe for &me<br />

moCbsndrlibntayrccuttohmma lmLkbd<br />

dturvtiw d rxLIT*<br />

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mo(berr Pertup it h.u been wfor<br />

ddd rhra But thi mimrity b<br />

row falhn. But it's<br />

llduv vidbl. tobv. ln&ad. lbw<br />

It L. I .upat, a nIbctim m<br />

nor tnu foi the<br />

our<br />

chi!dren.<br />

x<br />

IIIUI~ mrldrh.trb.irfrhdamuvu<br />

M few armmanta againd thin Children don't avo up hopti;<br />

b--<br />

'cbdea" Tbsir judpentr Lrip over d y . They cmnot rationalize clr<br />

tb divms ICrLLtia. Tbsy fdta ow d IO &ltaly. Thc hbiu and<br />

'~baumsd~bnsdnkd' dty. Hm ma two-pumt fami- tcddlen .pho+phed with mos&rs<br />

mr~plfortJnird.~~.li& IL* * d, nyb "Iiqied art* in chew dclcm about heir "alamue<br />

'drti.~~ pnah" or "liqL motbm ow tba ycan? Ha<br />

dinerent u it to nt" have yet to be inlc~,wcd.<br />

by eboirr" ldiddklr ud Dd- b a tin& morber by cboii or by KLhy us likely to grow up 4th e<br />

ad, rmu d lbsm Md<br />

default?<br />

built.in to<br />

udnibprarabrrMb*.pr -+T Yet I find myrll uneiuy u I rud up longing miulnp in their something, lives - missing tikely<br />

IhhbmbudutJdm.bouttba about Lbar wmm ud their hbin the unnamed. unk~wn somconsthelr<br />

wonden of h h # mothrrbood Notbaow u a c v i l ~ o r frid dl farbcr. ..<br />

.itbour L(b.rbmd<br />

bd mochrn 9 c4 hu d b What dm it mean to delibent&<br />

-rr,dmcm.lad&dY mocbmatd&Itbeuuraitrpprn bring a pntion of fatholmc bhil.<br />

rp.k, a w'tthr wme- tlul the mmam' need Lo hnc m child drcn into the world? Ikfore we .mpt<br />

rhn in the pnroa But be wm a<br />

tnni.at low. a re<br />

or.<br />

mmudmm&n.a.prmdoImn.<br />

imdM.c;rrrruabr<br />

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anm lint, bcfom chu U ndCrIU~<br />

d a chiM'a Desd to have a father.<br />

Mmud<br />

But %-is<br />

vial of apam or i d h i<br />

%. Tbrm u a diffete~cr b.<br />

lw-adi*walfa(b.rudmfatbu.<br />

'h for a child b MI<br />

nnr(mu, a wlfi.b Thm ur fhil.<br />

dno~baaiathktunhd<br />

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w~ b hy lnb dl di i dr i dm obf a i ~ ~ n ~<br />

Mmrin a cbild with a a k d<br />

pdb-im yain, dinmt - different<br />

from brmgiw ow inlo ch world<br />

thiu M euiiy u just another option.<br />

WI ahwld uk the accident vimpls.<br />

W thorn about heir Father's Day.


Forwarding and Return<br />

Poa tage Guaranteed<br />

.----.<br />

NON-PROFIT ORG.<br />

U. S. Postege<br />

Llrcblleld Par% 'A2 85340<br />

Permit Ho. 0


SEARCH TRIAD INC.<br />

Box 1432<br />

Litchfield Park, Arizona 85340<br />

602-935-9702<br />

(9a.m. to Noon)<br />

Vol. VIII No. 4 September 1983<br />

Karen Tinkham<br />

Executive Director<br />

Lorraine Kazmier<br />

President<br />

Policyt<br />

<strong>Search</strong> <strong>Triad</strong> Inc. is an independent, non profit organization<br />

offering a free service of idea exchange, volunteer support<br />

and educational guidelines in the adoption triangle. We are<br />

a member of the American Adoption Congress, a coalition of<br />

individuals and groups nationwide who support more openess<br />

and honesty in adoption.<br />

We offer an open meeting to adults in search, although we do<br />

not advocate birthparents searching for minors or minors<br />

searching for birthparents. Counseling is available.<br />

" To forget one's ancestors is to be a brook without<br />

a source, a tree without root. v 1<br />

-Chinese' Proverb<br />

NEXT MEETING<br />

September 22nd at 7r30 pm<br />

All Saints' Episcopal Church<br />

6300 North Central Avenue<br />

Phoenix<br />

Executive Board meets at<br />

6:30 sharp!<br />

Join us for a sharing of some<br />

very exciting reunions. We<br />

will have search assistance<br />

available as well as rap groups<br />

for both pre-reunion and<br />

pos t-reunion.<br />

Birthparents of minor children<br />

are encouraged to sit in on<br />

either of the above rap groups.<br />

FUTURE MEETINGS<br />

October 13<br />

November LO<br />

December 8<br />

Mark your calendar now so you<br />

won't miss a meeting!<br />

Remember that your newsletter<br />

might not arrive before the<br />

meeting night so don't depend<br />

on that as your reminder.<br />

Election of officers will take<br />

place at the October meeting.<br />

The October newsletter will be<br />

mailed out. two weeks before<br />

that meeting. Nominations will<br />

be accepted from the floor.


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You may look at the financial statement Jim McDonald submitted and think we<br />

are in great shape financially. The bottom line shows a balance of $1346.83.<br />

However, we were only $439.40 ahead for 'the ' year and $241.85 'of that came<br />

from donations. People don't realize the expense of running an organization<br />

. like <strong>Search</strong> <strong>Triad</strong>. We are often asked why we don't have a phone or why we<br />

. .<br />

don't open an office, Our budget answers both those questions,<br />

After much discussion, the Executive Board voted to increase membership dues,<br />

New members will now pay $25 for the first year. Renewals will be $15<br />

and we will continue to offer the newsletter only for $ 7.50. Local members<br />

who no longer attend the monthly meetings are encouraged to take advantage<br />

of this rate to keep in touch with what's going on in the movement.<br />

Questions about the financial report can be directed to either Jim McDonald<br />

or Karen Tinkham,<br />

. , . .<br />

OVERDUE LIBRARY BOOKS...please return them at the September rneeting.,..Mary Jo<br />

Stewart (from Nov) ; Nancy ~iller (March), Bill Friedman (May), Colleen Campbell<br />

(~une) , Robert Schmidt (June), Sally Sheward (June), Tammie Gainer (June),<br />

Ginny Rehill (~une) , Jan Rosscup (July), sandy Tarzwell (July) and Roni<br />

Rohleder (July).<br />

a<br />

25% of the books from our library are OVERDUE. We need your help in getting<br />

them BACK INTO CIRCULATION.<br />

- NEW in the library Who Is My Mother? by Clare Marcus.<br />

of What Kind of Love Is This? by Sandra Kay Musser,<br />

Also another copy<br />

EXECUTIVE BOARD MEETING HIGHLIGHTS: ~in~er Gibson Rogers, founder of <strong>Search</strong>,<br />

was named our first honorary member, AAC Region 9 Conference was discussed<br />

with JoAnne Lee and Lorraine Kazmier named as program chairman, Dorothy Foster<br />

was named as donation committee chairman, Ann Mehrtens and Karen Tinkham named<br />

publicity chairman, The decrease in membership renewals was discussed and it<br />

was decided that renewal notices would be sent out as first class mail. Since<br />

then renewals have increased. Jerry Sanders, a southern California artist,<br />

is donating a signed/# lithograph which will be given to everyone attending<br />

the Region 9 Conference. The teen/adoptive parent group wi'll no longer be<br />

sponsored by <strong>Search</strong>, but another program will be offered. by Jo Sadalla and<br />

Diane Ecks tein, professionals in the adoption f'ield.<br />

Barb Wodrich has headed our Speakers Bureau for ages now, and due to her very<br />

sucessful video business, has had to resign. Leslie Carter has now taken<br />

over this responsibility. We thank Barb for a job well done! If you are<br />

inrerested in doing a panel, make your willingness know to Leslie.<br />

Special thanks also goes to Mark Mehrtens (and Ann) for designing our new<br />

business cards, envelopes and stationary, We love our "new look"!<br />

If you are moving, please notify us of your new a'ddress. We also appreciate<br />

articles, cartoons, quotes that can be used in the newsletter. If you have<br />

had a reunion, please call Karen (between 9am and ~oon) with the details..,.<br />

and don't forget how much we NEED to hear your personal story at the monthly<br />

meeting, Reunions keep ALL of us going...those still searching and the<br />

search assistants who volunteer their time trying to help you find!


-<br />

Community Involvement/Panelat<br />

July 13 Beth Lockhart's Adoptive Parent Class<br />

Gary Carter<br />

July 21<br />

Aug 10<br />

Aug 24<br />

Aug 30<br />

Aug 31<br />

Sept 14<br />

Sept 22<br />

Department of Economic Security - Adoptions<br />

Jan Deahl and Kathie Neal<br />

Jewish Family Servdce<br />

Kathie Neal<br />

Jewish Family Service<br />

Ann Mehrtens<br />

Department of Economic Security - Adoptions<br />

Audrey Kreft and Sue Mills<br />

Jewish Family Service<br />

Lorraine Kazmier and Devonna James<br />

Department of Economic Security - Adoptions<br />

Gary Carter and Kathie Neal<br />

Department of Economic Security - Adoptions<br />

Krista and Milt Johnson<br />

On September 25th. Lon Taubman, from the Maricopa County Attorney's<br />

-<br />

Off ice and<br />

Karen Tinkham, will address a meeting of the GRANDPARENT'S GRANDCHILDREN'S<br />

RIGHTS OF ARIZONA in Sun City. This group was sucessful in getting the<br />

Grandparent's Visitation Law passed July 13, 1983.<br />

"It takes so much to be a full human being that there are very few who<br />

have the enlightenment or the courage to pay the price. One has to abandon<br />

altogether the search for security, and reach out to the risk of Living with<br />

both arms. One has to embrace the world like a lover; One has to accept pain<br />

as a condition of existence. One has to court doubt and darkness as the cost<br />

af knowing. One needs a will stubborn in conflict, but apt always to total<br />

acceptance of every consequence of living and dying. I REUNIONS /UPDATES<br />

Morris West<br />

The Shoes of a Fisherman<br />

Therese Pisarcik found her birthmother a year ago and the relationship has<br />

become close and wonderful for them both. Therese shares the following:<br />

I was lucky enough to see my bixthfather outside his home Last night. He<br />

lives about $ mile away. I have been driving by occasionaLly since last<br />

September, but never saw anyone outside. He looks a bit older than the 81'<br />

picture he gave me, but it was nice to see him anyway. We've spoken several<br />

times on the phone, but he's not interested in meeting me or any on-going<br />

relationship. At least my curiosity has been satisfied.<br />

Terry Lippens had a wonderful reunion with her five siblings in Michigan!<br />

She misaed her flight but made it to Detroit eventually and was greated<br />

royally!<br />

3 59


Lynn Arouh, Ohio born adoptee, joined us in July and has been ab1.e to locate<br />

her birthmother. Lynn made the trip back to Ohio to see her original birth<br />

certificate and then took it from there. A letter eventuallyreached her<br />

mother and phone contact fol1owe.d. It has been positive. Lynn asked that we<br />

remind people to not only check phone listings but also call directory assistance<br />

to check for current listings. Special thanks to Alberta Wales in California<br />

for her help too!<br />

rn<br />

Suzi Gay met her daughter for the first time a week ago. Suzi says this is<br />

like something out of a dream. Her daughter is now a student at ASU and<br />

lives in Mesa where Suzi runs her business. We look forward to seeing them<br />

both at a meeting soon!<br />

Merylee Golden has known the location of her daughter for over a year, but<br />

contact was just made recently. A reunion took place in the East and we<br />

hope Merylee will share details at a meeting. Merylee did have contact with<br />

the adoptive mother before the reunion took place,<br />

Linda and John Rossi are both Ohio born adoptees. They made a trip back to<br />

Ohio to see their original birth certificates and both were sucessful in<br />

locating their birth families. (no details are known at this time).<br />

Diane Pattison has had contact with her adoption agency, but was never<br />

allowed direct contact with her birthmother. Diane pursued it further and<br />

located her mother in Texas. A fantastic reunion has taken place and we<br />

can't wait to hear the details! Special thanks to Helen Leech for the<br />

.support she gave Diane!<br />

Josephine Cartrette joined us in July and has been able to locate her two<br />

sons who were adopted in New York. Josephine had the names after adoption<br />

which made the search relatively easy. Phone contact continues and hopefully<br />

a meeting will take place.<br />

John Dosch of Tucson has sent pictures of her daughter and hopes to attend<br />

our September meeting. Jo Ann shares the following: As I mentioned before,<br />

1 was not actively searching. I just wanted to be there if Stacy should ever<br />

want to contact me.<br />

- I had no guilt about the adoption it was the best and<br />

probably only thing to do at the time. I guess I learned early in life that if<br />

one let8 things go (whether emotional, material, etc.) they somehow come around<br />

again; but one cannot wait for the return but live each day to the fullest. The<br />

waiting and the guilt can be destroyers.<br />

The sumer issue of The Arizona News of The Episcopal Church, had a positive<br />

story (and photo) of two sisters who were reunited in Phoenix recently. One<br />

sister is from Mesa, the other lives in Portland, Maine. The reunion took<br />

place because of the help of a staff person who checked Episcopal records!<br />

Our teen group had a nice mention in the Exchange, a publication of the<br />

ADOPTION RESEARCH PROJECT in British Columbia, Canada. Clare Marcus is the<br />

publisher and editor.<br />

<strong>Search</strong> <strong>Triad</strong> also had a nice mention in the Sunmrer issue of the AAC Nat'l<br />

Newsletter. Peg Brenner, editor, is doing a two part series on some long<br />

It<br />

standing groups across the country that have aurvived". Groups featured


in the summer issue were AIM of Detroit, Michigan and <strong>Search</strong> <strong>Triad</strong>. The next<br />

issue will feature Adoption Forum of Philadelphia and WARM in Seattle.<br />

SEARCH ASSISTANTS<br />

-.<br />

Leslie Carter<br />

Jan Deahl<br />

(evenings)<br />

JoAnne Lee<br />

(evenings ONLY)<br />

Karen Tinkham<br />

(9a.m. to NOON)<br />

Ann Mehrtens<br />

Maurice Trager<br />

Barb Wodrich<br />

CARING NUMBERS<br />

Dorothy Foster 969-6042<br />

Bir thparent-Adop tee<br />

Vi Pierce ,97203483<br />

Birthparent<br />

Lorraine Kazmier 838-4270<br />

Adoptive Parent<br />

,Fairy Mae McKiernan 944-4729<br />

Adoptive Parent Class<br />

Diane Eckstein 277-7138<br />

Individual & Family<br />

Counseling<br />

PLEASE BE CONSIDERATE WHEN CALLING THE ABOVE NUMBERS. If an<br />

individual has requested calls during certain hours only, please observe<br />

those hours.<br />

Many very intersting adoption articles have appeared in both our local<br />

newspaper and in various magazines. July 30th TV GUIDE had an excellent article<br />

on a reunion between an actor and his son. McCall's July issue featured the<br />

reunion of Lorraine Dusky with her teen daughter. American Health Sept/October<br />

(thanks for the copy Marilyn!) featured "Shadows of an Unknown Pa~t" by Claire<br />

Berman. This article quotes AAC members Nancy Sitterly, Susan Harnmond (one of<br />

our past officers)and Virginia Keeler-Wolf. Excellent reading!<br />

Last fall, Better Homes and Gardens published a two-part questionnaire inviting<br />

readers to share their opinions on the state of American family life. Some<br />

201,320 readers responded. Who answered this survey? A statistical profile<br />

of the women and men who responded show that 72% attended or graduated from<br />

college, 892 are married, 437" have children 12 and under, 26% have children<br />

13 to 18 years old. Median family income is $33,462 and 85% are homeowners.<br />

A11 of these figures are significantly higher than national averages. Keep in<br />

mind that the views expressed in this report are strictly those of Better Homes<br />

and Gardens readers whose strong interest in family life prompted them to<br />

answer the lengthly questionnaire. Also, our<br />

-<br />

readership does not represent the<br />

total Ainerican<br />

-<br />

population. Certain segments the economically disadvantaged,<br />

for example are not adequately represented in our readership.<br />

"Scores of letter writers point out that in their opinion abortion is preferable<br />

to bringing unwanted children into the world. When we presented a hypothetical<br />

situation - if your unmarried adolescent daughter told you that she was pregnant,<br />

which alternative would you advise her to choose? - 242- of readers say theywould<br />

advise an abortion, 217. to have the baby and give it up for adoption,<br />

18% would leave it entirely up to the girl, 14% would advise her to have the<br />

-<br />

baby and keep it. If en adolescent son were the father in e similar case,<br />

21% would advise their son .to encourage the girl to give birth and ut he hild,,<br />

E<br />

uo for adoption. 217. would leave what to do up to the boy, J97. advige akort on


New address for WARM - 220 Kirkland Ave.<br />

Suite 10 Kirkland, Washington 98033.<br />

. 827-6680 Monday thru Friday from<br />

9:30am to 4pm.<br />

I~ispanic adoption -<br />

' New Orphan Voyage chapter in Florida a<br />

contact Linda McLendon P.0, Box 312<br />

Oklawaha, Fl 32679,<br />

A new CUB (Concerned United Birthparents<br />

for the Greater St. Louis area.<br />

Meetings are scheduled for Nov 5 and<br />

December 3. If you know someone in.<br />

that area, have them contact either<br />

Carolyn Kohenskey 188 Rolling Meadow<br />

in O'Fallon, Mo 63366 or Betty<br />

Scott 2930 E. Lolo Trail<br />

Springfield, Mo 65804.<br />

Mickey Carty (Adoptees Family Circle)<br />

and Retty Heide (Adoptees Identity<br />

Doorway) announce a computerized<br />

reunion registry for Indiana.<br />

Contact REUNION REGISTRY OF INDIANA<br />

P.O. Box 361 South Bend, Indiana<br />

46624,<br />

WHEN WRITING TO ANY OF THE ABOVE,<br />

PLEASE INCLUDE A SELF-ADDRESSED<br />

STAMPED ENVELOPE FOR THEIR REPLY!!<br />

Susan Lovett of Wichita Adult Adoptees<br />

sends word of an attempt to change the<br />

open status Kansas now enjoys. The<br />

National Committee on Adoption (out of<br />

Washington, D.C.) has sent a proposed<br />

adoption registry bill to the<br />

legislators<br />

-<br />

in Kansas. Adoptees<br />

-<br />

must<br />

be 25, for a match to occur, all<br />

parties must register,<br />

-<br />

(birthfather,<br />

birthmother, adoptee impossible<br />

since many birthfather's are unaware<br />

of being birthfathers). All siblings<br />

in the adoptee's family must be 18<br />

years old. It must<br />

-<br />

be a voluntary<br />

registry no publicity, etc..<br />

For current status, contact Susan<br />

at 5402 Lambsdale Wichita, Ks 67208.<br />

On August 20th, a new law went into<br />

effect in New York state. It allows<br />

for those adopted to get certain<br />

non-identifying info about their<br />

birthparents. Also allows<br />

-<br />

birthparents<br />

to be reunited if all parties<br />

agree. More details later.<br />

I9roup 'overdue'<br />

. .<br />

Antonio Duran calls it the nice<br />

..shock.<br />

: : The shock of being a father after<br />

.Qying for ei ht years to adopt a<br />

:Hispanic . chi1 ti .<br />

For Duran and hie wife, it<br />

:happened May 27. .<br />

'But adoptiona by Hispanic<br />

adults of Hispanic children are<br />

iomething .that doesn't happen too<br />

often in Arizona, despite a large<br />

I Mexican-American population.<br />

"There never a peare to be<br />

enough families on (R e state (adop-<br />

.tion) roeter to meet the needs,"<br />

hid Duran, president of a group<br />

,that works to<br />

rwn"<br />

find' Hispanic.<br />

for adoptable Hispanic chil ren.<br />

: Founded in March 1982, it is<br />

!led Hiapanic Children Family<br />

.f<br />

upport Group.<br />

: : Arthur Rojas, s state Depart-<br />

:ment of Economic Security aocial<br />

:worker, calls the group "long<br />

overdue."<br />

: : Statewide, there are perhaps 18<br />

*Hiepanic familiee cleared by DES<br />

'and waiting to adopt Hispanic<br />

: childxen.<br />

1 But there are abdut 60 Hispanic<br />

:children at any one time avaalable<br />

Eor adoption, Roye said.<br />

:: The abundance of adoptable<br />

.Hispanic children resub in the<br />

.children marking time in foster,<br />

..<br />

': bmea. .I , '.<br />

- The 'aimrage white child, who<br />

kpreaenta mom than two-thirds of<br />

ihe children in faeter are, spends<br />

than 18 months in fogter care.<br />

avera e Hispanic child, who<br />

1 % .6 percent of children<br />

care, sl[iende more than<br />

. *<br />

.' UWe haven't. really hid the<br />

:eu& of fmter nand adoptive<br />

homes for these children," Rojas<br />

said, -<br />

The social worker aaid, "The<br />

Mexican-American community has<br />

hen unaware to thie, poipt of the<br />

number of kids in the system."<br />

Or there ' are m~nceptione<br />

about adoption, "like. you have to<br />

be rich," Roja~ said.<br />

~ut because of efforte by people<br />

like those in Duran'e group, Rajas<br />

mid, "More and more people ate<br />

realizirig there are kids and they<br />

can adopt."<br />

The group meets once a month<br />

to "educate members of our group'<br />

and the community at large about<br />

the problems of children who are<br />

without homes," Puran said.<br />

Prior to returning to Phoenix in<br />

1980, the Durans had all but given<br />

up hope of adoption, somethin<br />

f<br />

that "became a waiting game tin<br />

very discouraging," he said.<br />

"Our attempts at adopting had<br />

not been very good, and mind you,<br />

this had been over a period of eight<br />

yeare," Duran aaid.<br />

Duran said they met people with<br />

similar experiences and, with DES<br />

help, formed the group.<br />

Some of the people were succcaful<br />

in adopting a Hispanic child<br />

and "we became enthud and, as a<br />

result, encouraged," Duran said.<br />

The monthly mwtingslet people.<br />

share frustrations and meet DES<br />

ado tion counselors and. foster<br />

chi f' dren, among other things,<br />

Duran said.<br />

"DES people will tell you, don't<br />

'just make out an application and<br />

sit back and wait,".he wid. "Make<br />

yourself known to DM!'<br />

, The liispanic Children Family<br />

Su port Group can be contacted at<br />

p.8. Box 178, Litchfield Park,<br />

85340, or 267-6691 or 035-5208.


4:<br />

I<br />

. ~b andonment clause could


AMERICAN ADOPTION CONGRESS<br />

REGION 9<br />

Z<br />

I<br />

FALL CONFERENCE<br />

SATURDAY, ClCTOsER 22, '19s3 8:3C)am - 5:00 prn<br />

RADISSCbN SCOTTSDALE RESORT & RACC3UET CLUB<br />

760'1 E. INDIAN BEND RD.<br />

SCOTTSDALE , ARIZONA<br />

HOSTED BY:<br />

search triad inc.<br />

PANEL DISCUSSIONS :<br />

male perspective on adoption<br />

grief in adoption<br />

changes in adoption<br />

MAIN GUEST SPEAKER :<br />

TOM ONSRIEM M.D.<br />

SEARCH WORKSHOP AVAILAPLE<br />

social hour at poolside 5:00 to 6:30 pm<br />

~~~~**~~~~**~*444fl2944O9+C.~O9~*~~~494+4444Ofl&4444O44444~44444C.44


A SPECIAL SEARCH WORKSHOP WILL BE OFFERED IN CONJUNCTION WITH THE REGION 9. .<br />

CONFERENCE.<br />

TIfIS WILL TAKE PLACE ON SATURDAY EVENING, OCTOBER 22, FROM 7 UNTIL 10 P.M. THE WORK- w<br />

SHOP IS AVAILABLE ONLY TO CONFERENCE REGISTRANTS; IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO ATTEND, PLEASE<br />

PRINT "SEARCH WORKSHOPtt IN THE..TOP LEFJ!HAND CORNER OF YOUR REGISTRATION BUNK, SO THAT<br />

WE MAY RESERVE A PLACE FOR YOU. WE ARE VERY PLEASED TO ANNOUNCE THAT THE FOLLOWING<br />

SEARCH CONSULTANTS WILL BE AVAILABLE TO WORK WITH SEARC-:<br />

WORKSHOP COORDINATOR<br />

We hope you'll join us for the AAC Region 9 Conference in Scottsdale.<br />

Please note that registrations must be received by October 10th or there<br />

will be an additional charge of $5 per person.<br />

Next fall, Operation Identity in Albuquerque will host the Region 9 Conference.<br />

FORWARDING and<br />

RETURN POSTAGE<br />

GUARANTEED<br />

I<br />

10N-PROFIT ORG.<br />

U., S. Postage<br />

. P A I D<br />

Cmmield Park; '<strong>AZ</strong> 85340<br />

Permit No. 8


Vol. VIII No. 5 October 1983<br />

Karen Tinkham<br />

Executive Director<br />

Lorraine Kazmier<br />

President<br />

Policy: <strong>Search</strong> <strong>Triad</strong> Inc., founded by Ginger Gibson Rogers in<br />

May of 1976, is an independent, non profit organization<br />

offering a free service of idea exchange, volunteer support<br />

and educational guidelines in the adoption triangle. We are<br />

a member of the American Adoption Congress, a national<br />

organization whose aim is to promote openness, honesty and<br />

sound practices in adoption. It is a coalition of individuals<br />

and groups across the country dedicated to the needs of the<br />

adoption community past, present and future,<br />

We offer an open meeting to adults in search, although we do<br />

not advocate birthparents searching for minors or minors<br />

searching for birthparents. Counseling is available.<br />

"To forget one's ancestors is to be a brook without<br />

a source, a tree without root,"<br />

"<br />

-Chinese Proverb<br />

NEXT MEETING<br />

October 13th at 7r30pm<br />

All Saints' Episcopal Church<br />

Manning Hall<br />

6300 North Central Avenue<br />

Phoenix<br />

Executive Board meets at<br />

6130 sharp!<br />

Election of officers, a vote<br />

on two changes in our by laws,<br />

reunions, rap sessions and<br />

search assistance available.<br />

Birthparents of minor children<br />

are encouraged to sit in on<br />

either of the rap sessions -<br />

pre-reunion or post-reunion.<br />

FUTURE MEETINGS<br />

November 10<br />

December 8<br />

January 12<br />

February 9<br />

arch 8<br />

April 12<br />

Remember that your newsletter<br />

might not arrive before the<br />

meeting night so don' t depend<br />

on that as your reminder.<br />

REMINDER - If you are planning<br />

to attend the American Adoption<br />

Congress Region 9 Conference<br />

in Scottsdale, the registration<br />

deadline for the $30 fee is<br />

October 10th.<br />

Our deepest sympathy is extended to Peggy Diefenbaugh and her family.<br />

Peggy's youngest adopted child, Dustin, age 12, died in St. Joseph's<br />

Hospital the day after his bike collidea with a pickup truck in Mesa.<br />

Dustin played Pop Warner football and was fond of computers and math.<br />

He is survived by hia parents, a brother and four sisters.<br />

This month we elect new officers. It seems the appropriate time to<br />

say a big thank you to those who have served on the Executive Board<br />

for the past 12 months. The Board included President Lorraine Kazmier,<br />

Vice-President Dorothy Foster, Secretary JoAnne Lee, Treasurer Jim<br />

McDonald, Members at Large Kathie Roheim, Gary Carter, Ann Mehrtens,<br />

Lynne Hellmers, Past Presidents Maurice Trager and Barb Wodrich and<br />

Executive Director Karen Tinkham.<br />

The nominating committee met in September, and would like to present<br />

to the membership, the following nominaest


President - Dorothy Foster<br />

Vice-president - Ann Mehrtens<br />

Treasurer - Gary Carter<br />

Recording Secretary - Leslie Carter<br />

Corresponding Secretary - Rhoni Rohleder<br />

Each nominee will give a brief background report before the electfon.<br />

The membership also needs to vote on two changes that the Executive<br />

Board voted to make with regards to our By-Laws. Instead of electing<br />

a secretary, we feel two are necessary. Also, the By-Laws state that<br />

after the election, the new officers and the Executive Director will<br />

choose three directors at large. The Board would like to change the<br />

wording to indicate that the new officers and the Executive Director<br />

will choose an appropriate number-of members to serve on the Board as<br />

Members at Large.<br />

The Board atso discussed our library situation. We are concerned that<br />

257. of the library is checked out and very much overdue. We have<br />

decided that members may only check out two books per month, and if<br />

they are returned late, a $1 fine will be charged per book per month.<br />

The money will go to purchase new books. We feel we offer the<br />

members something valuable in providing a library, but frankly getting<br />

the books back has become a pain!<br />

- OVERDUE BOOKS Suzi Gay, ~enny Rehill (june), Jan Ra scup (July),<br />

Diane Creque (Aug), Nancy Miller, Cheyrl Myers, Josephine Cartrette,<br />

Mary Norton, Melodie Wade and Rick Powell. If you won't be attending<br />

the October meeting, please call Jan Deahl at 841-7693(Evenings) to<br />

make other arrangements.<br />

REUNIONS 'UPDATES<br />

Jim McDonald went to Chicago on business and was able to return to<br />

'Phoenix via the airport in Denver, Colorado. A reunion took place<br />

between Jim and his birthfather!! They spent three wonderful hours<br />

together and those of you who attended the September (and braved the<br />

moonsoon storm) saw photos of two men that Look like twins.<br />

We're all happy for you Jimll<br />

Sandy Tarzwell has been patiently working on her search for a long<br />

time, but the answer she needed came in the mail last weekend. A<br />

death certificate for her grandmother. She called the informant (her<br />

uncle) and he gave her the present name and phone number of her<br />

mother. She and her sister will be making that important call soon....<br />

come to the October meeting for the rest of the story!<br />

QUOTES OF THE MONTH<br />

August 8, 1983 issue of PEOPLE contained an article about a U.C.L.A.<br />

doctor who is transplanting human embryos, offering hope to infertile<br />

women. The volunteer donor is artifically inseminated with sperm from<br />

the recipient's husband and the fertilized egg is then transplanted to<br />

the infertile recipient.<br />

Dr. Butler was asked Do YOU expect psychological problems for a woman<br />

carrying a child to whom she has no genetic relation?.<br />

I think they feel this is one step better than adoption, They<br />

feel this is an opportunity for them to have the husband's child, and<br />

that child is better than getting a baby who is one hundred percent<br />

foreign genetic material.<br />

The Phoenix Gazette carried a story about a Chicago physicist turned<br />

reproductive biologist, Richard Seed. "People have a right to their<br />

genes. They have a right to a child who is a close as possible to their<br />

genetic makeup," said the frenetfc, mid-50ish Seed as he prepared a<br />

sa~nple for freezing in his Chicago office. "1 think -it's outrageous when<br />

doctors tell people they have to adopt...Why should they adopt<br />

someone elseta diasterl"<br />

Don't let the turkeys<br />

get you down


One of our members has<br />

-<br />

shared a letter his adopted mother wrote after<br />

his arrival in 1955<br />

Suddenly you become aware of the changes made in your well-ordered 1Ue; your<br />

neat well-kept house; your normally calm dlsposttton; and pour sleep-fUled nights.<br />

~thlts your coneclous mlnd wlth a hng re you flnd you can't come and go as you<br />

ple~e; ns you look around at the clutter of play pen, stroller, dlaper pall, teethlng<br />

rlnga, bottles, pacutern, etc. whlch are somehow In the most Improbable places:<br />

an your nerves are becornlng ptfrazzledw wlth trylng to understand thla unfathvmable<br />

Ilttle creature wlth a mlnd of its own; and the Bltuatlon Isn't helped one blt by the<br />

manp nlghts thls "bundle of joyvv decldes to stay awake (and vocal) when your whole<br />

being crles for sleep. Your house, your clothe8 - everythlng about you - beglm<br />

to take on the aroma of yesterday's formula, baby foods and the lnevltable wet<br />

dlapere; and your wall-to-wall carpeting, whlch you chose wlth such care, shows<br />

the unmistakable slgm of varlous type8 of ,taccldents".<br />

All these things are Instantly forgotten, however, wlth a sweet, innocent baby smile<br />

. or a gurgle or a funny @lburptt expreselon on a soft, sleepy face.<br />

The rilghttl you spend in sleepless, exaeprated, helpleesnese trylng to flgure out<br />

what nus thls howllng piece 01 humanlty are non-exlstent the Instant you see that<br />

tnllniteslrnal dot of white enamel that denotes the arrlval of hle flrat tooth.<br />

The loys of parenthood are known by<br />

- allparents, but the thrill and wonderment are<br />

tncreased ten-fold for those of us who "chose" our children There are no words<br />

to express the dellght and happiness with whlch the heart of an adoptlve pirent lS<br />

fllled as he sees the llght of love and trust grow in the eyes of hls chlld. Nor can<br />

the agony of a so-called "naturalv parent be as arute as that JI an adoptive parent<br />

when the chlld Is slck or injured or just plaln unhappy. There are a speclal set<br />

of e-motlono reeerved for people who deliberately decide on parenthood.<br />

There 1s no "adopted parents" organlzatlon, nor should there be, but each feels<br />

News from around the globe:<br />

Independent <strong>Search</strong> consultants has announced that they have purchased<br />

microfiche indices of the following for the state of California!<br />

Deaths 1940-1981<br />

Brides 1960-1981<br />

Grooms 1960-1981<br />

If you need specific names checked, ISC staff will do so $5 per name,<br />

per index. Send your request and check to ISC P.O. Box LO192<br />

Costa Mesa, Ca 92627.<br />

From Gail Hanson 15 Windsor Rd., Milford, Ma 01757; If Birthparenthood<br />

has affected your relationship to your spouse, and you cannot seem to<br />

give the total commitment that you once gave to the birthfather of your<br />

relinquished child; you are not alone1 Please share how your relationships<br />

have been affected. Information gathered will be used in CUB'S<br />

upcoming book on LIVING AS A BIRTHPARENT. Gail ia Vice President -<br />

Support Services. Additional information from Birthparents who have<br />

gone on to marry one another, and their special dilemas, thoughts,<br />

and experiences would be appreciated.<br />

1984 American Adoption Conference - Seattle, Washington<br />

May 30 - June 3<br />

1985 American Adoption Conference Orlando, Florida<br />

June 14 - 16<br />

A.B 1.3. / West Columbir,S,C. now has a branch meeting in Greenville,<br />

contact person is Mary Crandall Box 6426B, Gresnville,S.C. 29606.


<strong>Search</strong> Assistants please note the<br />

increase in certificates from Wisc -<br />

birth certificatesnre now $7, deaths,<br />

marriages and divorices cost $5.<br />

From Elizabeth Scott - Southwest Mo.<br />

Adult Adoptees: There is a new<br />

organization called DONOR'S OFFSPRINGS<br />

The founder will be on the Donahue<br />

Show and enormous amounts of mail are<br />

expected. This will provide a prime<br />

opportunity for' someone to develop<br />

research thru a professionally<br />

prepared questionaire. If you wish<br />

more info, write to Betty at<br />

2930 E, Lo10 TraiL, Springfield, Mo<br />

65804.<br />

New printing available of a fantastic<br />

book - SEARCH AFTERMATH AND<br />

ADJUSTMENTS. Send $4.50 to either<br />

Pat Sanders 20111 Riverside Drive<br />

Santa Ana, Calif 92707 or Nancy<br />

Sitterly 1203 Hill St. Suffield,<br />

Conn 06078.<br />

NATIONAL ADOPTION WEEK - November<br />

20-26. Do your thing this special<br />

week-have a reunion!<br />

The Junior League of Phoenix Is<br />

sponsoring an Adoption Seminar on<br />

Saturday, November 5th in Phoenix.<br />

The ,fee is $5, includes lunch.<br />

We do not have a list of speakers,<br />

but the brochure promises a panel<br />

of speakers from the community,<br />

both professional and nonprofessional<br />

who are interested or involved in<br />

adoption. Registration forms will be<br />

available at the October meeting or<br />

send a self-addressed stamped<br />

envelope to <strong>Search</strong> for a copy.<br />

Families<br />

divided<br />

Q: My hnyfriend'~ ex-wife, who has cufitody of<br />

theii two small girls, h n rcmivried ~ and wantk hrr<br />

new hushand to adopt the girls. Since my boyfriend<br />

has not hern able to pny her the total amount in<br />

child support every month, she belicves he would<br />

not be able b provide fnr the chiltlren ir and when<br />

she dies. Is the natural fnlher's fiignature required<br />

before an adoption can bo legal? What will happen<br />

ii he doe^ not sign? Will they have tn prove my<br />

bojrfriend to be nn unlil. father to nlliu~ adoption<br />

without ths required signature? Does the fad we<br />

are living &ether have any bearing on the<br />

situation? '<br />

J.B., Phoenix.<br />

A: Arizona statrrtes my consent foi adoption<br />

must be ohtained from both. natural parenfn, if<br />

living. Neglect, unfitneua or abandonment on the<br />

part of the natural parenh must be demonstrated<br />

hefore Chat requirement is waived. A person cannot<br />

lwe hieher pnrental rights by not paying child<br />

upp port. If abandonment i~ charged, the father<br />

wnuld receive notification of that charge as well as<br />

the hearing. Living together hae no bearing ofi the<br />

situation.<br />

Update on NY Law from Adoption Forum in<br />

Philadelphia: NY Governor Cuomo signed<br />

legislation recently that allows the<br />

State Health Dept. to release non-identifying<br />

info to adoptees 21 or older. Info includes<br />

age of parents at time of birth, racial<br />

and ethnic heritage, religion 6 education,<br />

general physical appearance, occupation,<br />

talents, hobbies and special interests,<br />

health history and circumstances surrounding<br />

the adoption. In addition, the new Law<br />

provides for the disclosure of names and<br />

addresses when the adult adoptke, birth<br />

parents and adoptive parents all provide<br />

consent. For adoptions occurring after<br />

April 1984, the consent of adoptive parents<br />

will not be required. New York is the<br />

10th state to set up a program to allow<br />

birthparents and their children to be<br />

reunited. Three other states, Colorado,<br />

Texas and Oregon enacted similar laws<br />

this year.<br />

The Canadian Parent Finders Assoc. of B.C.<br />

has changed its name to Canadinn Adoptees<br />

Reform Assoc. of B.C.<br />

1sn't it wonderful to find someone<br />

who looks like you?<br />

MC Region 9 Newsletter<br />

POST-REUNION RESEARClf: What happens after<br />

reunion? More needs to be know about reunion<br />

and its aftermath, says Clare Marcus, who is<br />

doing research in this area. If you have had<br />

a reunion, do you wish you had had more help<br />

to prepare for it? How did you handle it?<br />

If you would like to help with this research<br />

write to Marcus at Adoption Research Project,<br />

3231 Williams Road, Richmond, R.C. V7E 1H8.<br />

Your information will be treated in<br />

confidence.


~<br />

A<br />

The Konanr mlllrd abo~~l, pUng hand<br />

MIh the nmrr and @her P@P<br />

ronrl dalr about lort nlallvu on the nrl<br />

work bulldlnr, slrlrwap md lo~lnlnl~.<br />

Whllr the drama 01 aomc a( lhr 1.m rr<br />

unlons wru brlnlr rhmn a TV In the rludla<br />

oulrldr rarcd<br />

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rl~dlo bulldlnt lrnm lnchnn, wulhnrl ol I<br />

le TV Tear. jerker .<br />

dram rlm~<br />

These Days<br />

,I IS a Real-Life Drama INldr. many 01 the ~ d c<br />

... : 1 dlrrppolnlmrnl.<br />

- 7 -<br />

I<br />

I Tclcthon on r Scoul Network (<br />

I<br />

tlcl~nitcs l.W Families<br />

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Py .I~\lar R S.ttlrrwr%<br />

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an Amrrlran soap wra. O111 the eplsndrr<br />

.Ire :111 r~sl lllr, vlth a steady slrram or<br />

h:lppy entllnm.<br />

In r iw!nlry vhrrr mllllnns 01 pmpb<br />

h.wr hrrn srparalrd lrnm rrlatlvrr ever<br />

rlncr lhr vulbrrnk al the K~trran War In<br />

13%. Ihr sI.tlr.nln Irlrvlrlon ryslrm set rml<br />

10 II~ m rrtrrlte u many iantlllcr u -1.<br />

hlr. Thr rrrull has bun lhr rrunlllng 01<br />

nutrr Ihan 1.m lamlllrr-and same ol lhr<br />

mr61 invlu'hrrr.<br />

Im Y"one c'hol, hb larr irtnltmrd by rme<br />

Inm. Ir on srrrrn rlulrhlnr 111s brolher.<br />

whom hr hadn't srrn in uvrr 30 yrc:ln. He<br />

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.!nntNnrrr. also Inst a lamlly srparalnl ty<br />

lhr war. ltlrnr away lmm lhr ramera and<br />

wrrpa.<br />

Sislrr Is Found, Toe<br />

1 Atlwcrn nnr N a of ctylng. Mr. lntu<br />

;&!an rulnllrd WII~ a rlsttr. And antr he rr.<br />

p:tlns 1111 r~a~ps~~rr, hC ra-. "NOW I've<br />

frwd 11v I ! l dm-um. Slrtrr.<br />

al,vro! hdsr ytul Iw.I. m J whal havr you<br />

drvrr irp In nor? Huw ntvnv l~;~rdshlpr havr<br />

$ul rlll:.ld: I mrlnl.llllnl my IIIr only wllh<br />

; lhr hupv I wtmlld mrrl you, bul I ntvrr<br />

thcv~ahlh:tl I'd rr;llly h10 rblr la mrrl hnh<br />

#,I ynll."<br />

Sllrh swrr havr buvn rrpalrd hun.<br />

tltnls 111 llnlrr slnrr .ll~nr 33. whrn the Ko<br />

rr.ln nrlwo~rk brnadcul whal w u whnlulrd<br />

tlr hF a onrshd pmgrrm. Sonlr W.m) po.<br />

plr .Irked lhr nrlwork l~lr hrlp In lor.~llnf<br />

klnlolk. w, lhr pmrun rrolvrd Inlo a wnk.<br />

! rnd4ong lrlrlbn. lollowrd by wvrral mrtrr<br />

' 4.1~~ ul bmadcasU early lhl, n~~lnlh. Fhr.<br />

. 1hrr wnkly pmmnmr .Irr whnl~llrd.<br />

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(en an nrthrslralrd in Korra. Ihr 0111.<br />

j purlnr hjlr brrn %pmtanrnu thls ilmr. A<br />

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I . amvldrd .':l klnd of mtharrlr.' lor Koreans<br />

long vparatrd lmm lhrlr ancrslral<br />

homra.<br />

The pnlrnms not only rapturd the at.<br />

Ienllon ol vlrwcn. lhry also srl oll a human<br />

mlflallon In thr Sraul sllrdlm 01 Komnn<br />

Rraldrasllnr Syslrm. Thmlsands al pmplc<br />

surmundrd lhr studlo bulhllng J.ly rllrr day<br />

j In n xrnr r~mlnlscrnl 01 ihr Waslllnflon<br />

~alhrnnu In Aprll nl Jrulsh tlol~c;lusl sur.<br />

vlron wzklng lnnrlml lrtcnds and rrlr<br />

11vrs.<br />

I<br />

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nllrr r tmmhlnf had lrlf It<br />

! ablur. So Iar, howrver, hrr horl of i re<br />

ltnlon are ~~nlulllllrd.<br />

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ang.Hl, won a rlgn wllh lhr namn 01 iwn<br />

Imt unrln rc $hi- p.ddlrd mllk and fire<br />

rake among ihr plltrlrns nuUldr lhr ntl.<br />

I<br />

wark bllldlng. Thr ancln wen last urn In<br />

1911 irylnc to bard a lralrl la flrr L'hmnr<br />

lotcrr lhal had allarkrd nrrms lhr YaIu<br />

Rlvrr.<br />

"hly mnlhrr and lrlr nandmolhcr sald rr~almlly that Ihrlr nralesl hllpr Is lo llnd I<br />

Ihr brnlhrn." shr rald. "If nnl. lhry wan1 lo I<br />

kntlw vhrlhrr lhry nn sllll allur."<br />

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I .<br />

ldrntlllrd rrlallsrs by wlnr them on mm<br />

rra or by .rradlng ldrnlllylng pl,~r;lrtb<br />

shwn on canlrra. Trlrvlslnn, rhlth Is now<br />

In pncllrally rvrry Sc~ulh KnrrJn humr, has<br />

I succrrdrd vhrtr pxrt rllnrlr havr had llm.<br />

II~ surcas.<br />

1 Plrvlnus rllorts In\olvrd nrarpalrr<br />

I drlvrs and pmplr chrcklna pullce rrfistrl19.<br />

Thty frnrnlly lrll shnrl lor r numbrr 01<br />

rrrY)ns mld In lhe rhaor Ihal lollornl lhr<br />

war. For onr lhlnr, mllllons ol rrltlgrrr<br />

lmm Nuah Knmr chmgcd lhrlr nanln<br />

when lhry w~~lrd in srm~h Korra. llthrn.<br />

*paralrd lrum lhelr lnmlllrs whrn lhry<br />

wrrr ynunt. dldn'l know lhrlr lamlly nall!rr<br />

or lhr l'hlnrsr rhararlrrs lr~r lhr n.lnlrs 111<br />

lhrtr wltllvrs. Slnre many Korean ndnlrr<br />

I wlund nllkr. the task for lhr lcns ol Ihlar.<br />

- .. -.<br />

s;~ndr nl dlsplarrtl lmlly mrmhcn bceamr<br />

a nlrhlman.<br />

Pollcc rr~lslrler. moreover. an Incorn<br />

plvlr and dllllcull lo lur In lraclnl pcoplr.<br />

.And lhr prrr rl,wcs ol Solllh Kurrans<br />

lend to be rssplrrow 01 Ihr pllcr and un.<br />

~~lir~y to llsr ihr nostnu.<br />

Trlrvlslun has surmmlnlrd the problrm.<br />

wllh lhr dramaUc mulls. Al one govern<br />

lllrnl olllrlal nhsrrvu. Ihr IrlrcasU havr<br />

!~~lpnl .%lh Knrranr rrraln Ule vnsc 01<br />

Ianllly tits lhal ladrd m the nallon has In.<br />

tl~~s~n;~llzd. I{c sdds. "It any Korran Irllr<br />

ynl~ that he klsn I brrn all~lrd<br />

by lhr sep.<br />

r.811tnn. 11,s a lie.''<br />

Concerned United<br />

Rirthpnrentr<br />

A nallonnl orga11lrallol~ provldlng support and<br />

advyacy on belralf of all Iamily members separaled<br />

by ndopcloll, will1 n special focus on the needs and<br />

rights of blrltiparc~lts.<br />

Between 1976.1983 we helped over 40.000<br />

persons who have relallvcs missing In adoption! We<br />

arc well l~rcpared lo offer you the Informallon<br />

needed to makc sound declslons about your llfe.<br />

Call or write Today. Ask for our flyer delalling our<br />

natloriwlde servlce, projects, and programs.<br />

CUB<br />

595 Ccnlral Ave.<br />

Dover. N.H. 03820<br />

603'749.3144<br />

If you want your ship to come in,<br />

you've got to moha wauer!!<br />

Child may never know name of '28 Red' (<br />

-<br />

:38 Rod" may bs Ulr ml nrma Dam nlkha lha channel " Ju uld. "mlniy<br />

I() Ill# will snr know lw hb ither.<br />

b~ktothaonahd&norr"<br />

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@COIHW aptem ih.1 bhr( Grlhm'a ud nddk rilh nbko'a "m mm&<br />

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pled" thrm Iw hwn en* dl , hmlv<br />

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wuk dill donon 11 m, rvilJlly illlba and cl;ods a<br />

rolumr lrnL<br />

nlatr mnadr rh. and bw m'mZ<br />

m&y wan1 lo LNJF.?~~ 'ZF W<br />

~ l l4 y and lyrnud IIU DU~<br />

(* lo find<br />

UJL<br />

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It rill lnlua~y low bar<br />

mny chlldnn lrom ~ prm hnb MI lo<br />

find out xbo thelr IaIhrrLL<br />

Doron ,.,d hI.<br />

momwe bvl &' arb -* ha "'V<br />

harn for hh fohr h "a Red!' 7hr<br />

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m ** Auwf cow<br />

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d UII tnduva. uld I%lllr. whar IaUu<br />

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d II~I. prdwiorvl *oopl. h v h cbll.<br />

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wm hank hu r poh.nUII lw a h . J<br />

"m"br &Wr UYt<br />

k"m'rd rlOtlham'<br />

Ihrr*rnuld hr. Ill1 I.mkd:. ,h uld.<br />

, poplr L4 chmr.<br />

whlch b wbl I rlhn d w%<br />

Ayk I.<br />

I


Sandy Musser, founder and director of Adoption Triangle Ministry, has reqbbsted<br />

our help in reaching the churches, private agencies and pro-life groups. The<br />

following is a copy of her request,<br />

As most of you know, I have chosen the churches, the pro-liEe groups and the<br />

'I<br />

private agencies as my target" areas for educating about our adoption<br />

issues and concerns.<br />

I'd like to implore all of you to help me in this effort by sending me names<br />

and addresses of particular ones you would like informntion sent tor or<br />

just lists that I can feed into the computer; and I'd also like to be kept<br />

informed as to those churches, private agencies, etc., that are supportive<br />

of our efforts. ATM wants to make a concentrated effort to get our literature<br />

into as many churches as possible. We also want to compile a list of those<br />

clergy who will "stand up and be counted.'' It will take everyone's cooperation<br />

to perform this monumental task, but I think we're on a roll and we can do it,<br />

The Private agencies are another group thnt ATM wants to zero in on as it is<br />

my contention that most (practically all) of them were founded on religious<br />

principles; i.e. Catholic Social Services, Jewish Social Services, Lutheran<br />

Social Services, etc.<br />

And finally the pro-lifers continue to raise the flag of "adoption - not<br />

abortion.'' Sounds wonderful, but the fact is that most girls today given<br />

a choice will choose abortion over adoption because they cannot bear to<br />

"give away their child" under the closed system. We need to continue to<br />

push for open adoption if the trend away from abortion is going to turn<br />

around. I am not in favor of abortion but, as a birthmother who suffered<br />

for years the pain of not knowing, I can understand the thinking behind it.<br />

In a survey I did of 150 teenagers, when given the choice of l/keeping their<br />

child, 2/ adoption, 3/abortion, the first choice was always to keep, the<br />

second choice, abortion; and the third choice, adoption. Only as we give them<br />

more options and more knowledge about their child, will they opt for<br />

adoption. The pro-lifers need to be aware of these facts.<br />

Please send me any articles you find, ideas, suggestions, etc. as to how we<br />

can accomplish our goals quicker and better. Write me c/o Adoption<br />

Educational Institute for Openness and Understanding Box 1860 Cape Coral,<br />

Florida 33910.<br />

Cornmen t from Karen<br />

The Tinkham family was very fortunate indeed to leave our Sahara desert<br />

climate in August and head for cool London. My husband attended a businesa<br />

conference that first week, but then we three had a wonderful month full<br />

of beautiful sights, fantastic food and the chance to reestablish contact<br />

with relatives and friends. We had a great visit with our Danish social'<br />

worker friend Steen Grand. His study was presented to the University of<br />

Copenhagen and received the highest marks possible. This study is now<br />

being published and adoption may never been the same because of it!<br />

Another special reunion took place in Tdnder Denmark when I saw my cousins<br />

that I had found last year. Tho langunge was a problem, we did manage<br />

to corrununicate and shared much about the "family". Then we drove to<br />

northern Germany where we visited the area my great-great grandparents<br />

were from. I lucked out and found two women who spoke limited english.<br />

Both gave me willing assistance and I was able to go back three generations<br />

on my family tree.<br />

Why am I mentioning this7 Because it was wonderful to do something for<br />

myself for a change. I needed to get away from the phone and the maill<br />

Now I'm home and I face the reality of what involvement in <strong>Search</strong> <strong>Triad</strong><br />

means. Phone calls all hours of the day and night, even tho I have<br />

requested calls from 9am to noon only. Everyone thinks, oh well, Karen<br />

won't mind if I just call for 5 minutes...guess what...I do mind. I<br />

have a private life and I need private time. My daughter needs me<br />

when she comes home from school and my husband appreciates a little<br />

attention too.<br />

I<br />

If I sound a little down I am. I see the membership growing, but I see<br />

little corranittment on the part oE the membership. They come to us, find<br />

and then they leave. Nothing is done to help change our "backward"<br />

adoption laws in Arizona. No one seems to care that unless you come to us<br />

with names. it may be impossible to find. Doors continue to close. Pcople<br />

who have reunions-don't even bother to share with the group, What can we do?<br />

37t


A SPECIAL SEARCH WORKSHOP WIU BE OFFERED IN CQNJUNCTION WITH THE RECION 9. CONFERENCE,<br />

TIUCS WILL TAKE PLACE ON SATURDAY EVENING, OCTOBER 22, PROM 7 UW.1LIL10 P.M. THE WORK-<br />

SHOP IS AVAILABLE ONLY TO CONFWENCE RECISTWS; IF YOU WULD LIKE TO ATTEND, PLEASE<br />

PRINT WZARCH WORKSHOP" IN THETOP LEFTHAND CORNER OF YOUR REGISTRATION BLANK, SO THAT<br />

WE MAY RESERVE A PLACE FOR YOU. WE ARE VERY PLEASED TO ANNOUNCE THAT THE FOLMWSNG<br />

SEARCH CONSULTANTS WILL BE AVAIIABLE TO WORK WITH SEARCHERS:<br />

WORKSHOP COORDINATOR<br />

AMERICAN ADOPTION CONGRESS<br />

IZE<br />

REGION 9<br />

FALL CONFERENCE<br />

..<br />

- SATURDAY, OCTOBER 22, 3983 f3:30em 5:OO pm<br />

RADISSON SCOTTSDALE RESORT & RACmUET CLUB<br />

7601 E. INDIAN BEND RD.<br />

SCOTTSDALE , ARIZONA<br />

HOSTED BY:<br />

search triad inc.<br />

PANEL DISCUSSIONS :<br />

male perspective on adoption<br />

grief in adoption<br />

changes in adoption<br />

MAIN GUEST SPEAKER :<br />

TOM O'BRIEN M.D.<br />

SEARCH WORKSHOP AVAILAPLE<br />

social hour at poolaide 5:OO to 6:30 pm<br />

REGISTRATION FORM<br />

(Registration must be received by October 10, 1983)<br />

Name(s) Telephone ( )<br />

Address<br />

Organization affiliation<br />

I am Adoption Professfonal<br />

Adoptee<br />

- Birthparent<br />

Other (please specify)<br />

Cftv - State ZID .<br />

Address<br />

Adoptive Parent Registration fee: . $30/person, $45/couple There wi 1 1<br />

be an additional charge of $5/person for late registrations<br />

(received after Oct. 10). A luncheon, poolside,<br />

is included in the reyistration costs.<br />

- Enclosed: $ , registration for - people.<br />

37z<br />

Please make checks payable to Region 9, AAC, and return with registration form to SEARCH<br />

TRIAD, P. 0. Box 1432, Litchfield Park, <strong>AZ</strong> 85340. SEARCH'S phone numher is (602) 935-9702.


Leslie Carter<br />

Jan kahl<br />

(evenings)<br />

.loAnne Lee<br />

(eveings ONLY)<br />

Karen Tinkham<br />

(9 am to NOON)<br />

Ann Mehrtens<br />

Maurice Trager<br />

Barb Wodrich<br />

Dorothy Foster 969-6042<br />

Birthparent-Adoptee<br />

Vi Pierce 972-3483<br />

Birthparent<br />

Lorraine Kazmier 838-4270<br />

Adoptive Parent<br />

Fairy Mae Mckiernan 944-4729<br />

Adoptive Parent Class<br />

Diane Ecks tein 277-7138<br />

Individual & Family<br />

Counseling<br />

PLEASE BE CONSIDERATE WHEN CALLING THE ABOVE NUMBERS. If an<br />

individual has requested calls during certain hours only, PLEASE observe<br />

those hours.<br />

Hope to see you all on October 13th. Election night is an important one,<br />

why not support the new officers with your attendance, give them your vote<br />

o£ confidence.<br />

"I hw#fne ir'r kd110ty. I nnumkr my/rhn'r<br />

halr mrruplont .lo /rll out."<br />

"No morrcr what mlour or cnrdchlldnn on,<br />

q 1.: hcncorh h 011 rhcy'rr 1rolian.Amnicon."<br />

...<br />

I<br />

RON-PROFIT 0RO.t<br />

U.. S. Poathe<br />

Forwarding and Return<br />

Postage Guaranteed<br />

LTtcKflcld Patli, '<strong>AZ</strong> 85320<br />

Pormit No. 8


. .<br />

. .<br />

.... . . . . .<br />

. .<br />

. . . ,<br />

. . . . . . . Litchf ield Park, Arizona 85340 . .<br />

. .<br />

. .<br />

. . .<br />

602 935-9702 . '<br />

. . .<br />

.<br />

. . .<br />

. . .<br />

. . . .-. . . . .<br />

. .<br />

., (9a.m. '<br />

to ~oon) . . . . . .<br />

. .<br />

~ol. VIII No. 6<br />

~aren Tinkham<br />

Executive Director<br />

Dorothy Poster<br />

President<br />

Policyi <strong>Search</strong> <strong>Triad</strong> Inc., founded by Ginger Gibson Rogers in May<br />

of 1976, is an independent, non profit organization offering<br />

a free service of idea exchange, volunteer support and<br />

educational guidelines in the adoption triangle. We are a<br />

member of the American Adoption Congress, a national<br />

organization whose aim is to promote openness, honesty and<br />

sound practices in adoption. It is a coalition of individuals<br />

and groups across the country dedicated to the needs of the<br />

adoption community past, present and future.<br />

We offer an open meeting to adults in search, although we do<br />

not advocate birthparents searching for minors or mindro<br />

.. searching for birthparents. Counseling is available.<br />

"To forget one's ancestors is to be a brook without<br />

a source, a tree without root."<br />

'-~hinese, Proverb :<br />

. .<br />

.<br />

. .<br />

. .<br />

: .. . .<br />

. . . . .<br />

NEXT MEETING<br />

FUTURE MEETINGS<br />

December 8th at 7:30pm<br />

All Saints' Episcopal Church<br />

January 12<br />

Manning Hall February 9<br />

6300 North Central Avenue<br />

Phoenix March 8<br />

Executive Board meets at April 12<br />

6:30 sharp!<br />

May 10<br />

This month we will have<br />

reunions, updates, search<br />

June 14<br />

assistance and a time to<br />

socialize. We always seem<br />

to rushed at meetings. This<br />

month we plan to take time<br />

to enjoy a cup of Brim. If<br />

you make a special goodie<br />

at holiday time why not<br />

bring a small sample to the<br />

meeting. See you then!<br />

When you put up your new<br />

1984 calendar, don't forget<br />

to mark meeting night so you<br />

won't miss anything.<br />

We can't always depend on the<br />

newsletter arriving before<br />

meeting night, so don't wait<br />

for that to be your reminder.<br />

Warmest seasons greetings to all of you and make 1984 a good one!<br />

Would you in your wildest dreams imagine anyone leaving Phoenix for<br />

Minneapolis, Minnesota.,..in the middle of winter? Well, Gary and Lesley<br />

Carter are doing exactly that. Gary has been offered a Job by a bank<br />

in Minneapolis that he just couldn't refuse. We are very excited that; this<br />

career opportunity has happened for Gary but we will miss them both. Gary<br />

was Just elected our treasurer, Les was elected our recordingsecretary.<br />

Gary has also been responsible for updating our membership list, doing- labels<br />

for the newsletter, constantly on call for panel duty. Les has headed our<br />

Speakers Bureau pnd has been a valuable search assistant as well as our<br />

greeter at meetings. Two dear friends of <strong>Search</strong> <strong>Triad</strong> have left us and we<br />

wish them well.<br />

OVERDUE BOOKS:. Jan Rosscup (JULY) t Josephine Carterette (Aug) and Nancy<br />

Miller (Oct). Please remember that you are expected to return books the<br />

month after they are checked out. A $1 fine per book per month will be<br />

charged if your books are overdue, The money from fines will go toward<br />

new books.


October was the month we held our general election to choose our officers<br />

for the coming year. After the election was held, the new officers met<br />

with the Executive Director to decide on the Board Members at Large. The<br />

new Executive Board of Directors includes:<br />

President - Dorothy Foster<br />

Vice President - Ann Mehrtens<br />

Treasurer - Gary Carter<br />

Corresponding Secretary - Rhondalee Rohleder<br />

Recording Secretary - Lesley Carter<br />

Executive Director - Karen Tinkham<br />

Past President - Maurice Trager<br />

Past President - Barb Wodrich<br />

Past President - Lorraine Kazmier<br />

Board Members at Large - Dr. Bill Friedman, Audrey Kreft, JoAnne Lee,<br />

Jim Lincoln and Sue Mills<br />

rt<br />

~ccordin~ to the Constitution of <strong>Search</strong> <strong>Triad</strong> Inc., Chapter I1 Of ficers<br />

Section 5 C, Vacancies: Should a vacancy occur among the officers, the<br />

Executive Board shall appoint an individual to fill the<br />

unexpired term of off ice.<br />

The Executive Board will appoint a new treasurer and recording secretary<br />

at our Board Meeting on December 8th. We regretfully accept the resignations<br />

of Gary Carter and Lesley Carter.<br />

CONGRATULATIONS.....<br />

To former Board Member Kathie Roheim and husband John on the birth of their<br />

son Jonathan born October 24th. Jonathan weighed in at 9# 1 oz. We know<br />

Kathie will be busy the next few months but we hope to see her back when<br />

things calm down at home!<br />

To Joellen Osman who was named,bythe Arizona Republic as a Volunteer of the<br />

Week. Joellen is a registered nurse working at St. Joseph's Hospital<br />

and conducts health assessment screenings Wednesday mornings at Rainbow<br />

Retreat, a crisis shelter for abused women and their children.<br />

To ''Dear Abby" for finally recognizing Emma Vilardi and her International<br />

Soundex Reunion Registry. Emma has had over 5,000 responses in the first<br />

week and reports that the overwhelming number are from birthparents. 997.<br />

of those writing in are including self addressed stamped envelopes and<br />

some are including donations (which are now tax deductible folks!). Emma<br />

has been contacted by UP1 for a story, by a Los Angeles paper for a story,<br />

and will soon no doubt become a household word. Don't forget to write<br />

Abby a thank you note for the mention of the ISRR.<br />

To Karen Tinkham for getting her call in on the Larry King talk show the<br />

night Artie of the Golden Cradle Agency was guest. Karen mentioned the<br />

ISRR and hopefully exposed people to something they can use as a tool in<br />

locating their lost family.<br />

To <strong>Search</strong> <strong>Triad</strong> for hosting a great American Adoption Conference Region 9<br />

Conference on October 22nd. We had 102 people register for the conference<br />

and were very excited by the excellent representation of the adoption agencies<br />

wlthin our state. Of those in attendance, 377. were adoptees, 137. were<br />

adoptive parents, 207. were birthparents and 147. were social workers. Special<br />

thanks to our people who were responsible for many donations - Barb Wodrich,<br />

Lorraine Kazmier, Rev. B. Swan, Colleen Campbell, Audrey Kreft, Dorothy<br />

Foster, Nancy Miller, Virginia Rocco, Sandy Tarzwell's mom Elaine Mase,<br />

Charlie Tinkham and Ann Fabricant.<br />

One of the panels during the AAC Conference was Grief in Adoption. Our<br />

member Pat Goosherst of Bfsbee couldn't attend but did submit his feelings<br />

on paper and has given us permission to print them in this newsletter:


I am a birthfather of a child relinquished through adoptinn 16 years<br />

ago. The child was a baby girl, She weighed 66 14 oz. and had light hair<br />

and undoubtedly had hazel-blue eyes. We didn't have the strength to face<br />

her at birth, The experience was a very difficult one to bear.<br />

The circumstances were that Judy and I were high school sweethearts and<br />

very much in love. We were only 15 and 16 during the time of the pregnancy.<br />

Judy left high school and spent the last part of her pregnancy at a home for<br />

unwed mothers.<br />

I can look back and remember wanting to blame anyone but myself. I recall<br />

shouting out to my own mother, holding her responsible, "You gave up your<br />

grandaughter, how could you do this!" I wasn't able to face the reality of what<br />

had happened or what had been lost. Directing the blame at my mother didn't last<br />

very long. She was in enough pain Just Feeling ours,<br />

After the relinquishment, Judy and I continued to see each other. It wasn't<br />

until 2 years had passed that the subject of our experience was never brought<br />

up again, We both kept her seperately inside of us, knowing all to well that<br />

talking about her only signaled hurt.<br />

The remorse and pain you experience giving your child up penetrates deep<br />

into your heart. So deep your only defense is to build your walls so high that<br />

memory can't creep in.<br />

Eventually, Judy and I married. We now have three beautiful daughters.<br />

Sisters whom have an older missing link, seperated from the ~ldest by only<br />

2 and 'a half years and birthparents who have never forgotten the love of<br />

their first born.<br />

I never felt that what took place 16 years ago could ever have such a<br />

piercing impact. I thought my pain had settled. I thought my walls of defense<br />

were built of iron. I didn't think I'd ever break, never look back, but the<br />

walls finally crumbled.<br />

I was on a business trip this February, While traveling between Flagstaff<br />

and Albuquerque, unexpectedly, a tremor of heartbreak suddenly swept my mind<br />

and body. Months had passed since I had even thought about her. The feeling<br />

was one of desperation, a feeling to get fntouch. So strong my inner psychic<br />

self responded by answering. Assuring her that we will find her, "whereever<br />

you are:' ''NO need to w: orry, we will find you - hold on!" I was very devastated<br />

and very confused! This feeling had me totally mystified. I had always prayed<br />

and hoped that one day we would be united with her, but I never would have<br />

thought the urgency would be so amplified.<br />

The experience has intensified our search. A search now that may go on<br />

for years hoping to find an end. An end to our anxiety, the feelings and questions<br />

that we hope someday will be answered. If we could only peek over the walls that<br />

seperate the truth, regardless of the consequences, a completeness we feel is<br />

essential to go on through life.<br />

I only hope soon, the law mkers of our land will enact tangable regulations<br />

about adoption. Laws which will free and open adoption as it stands today, God<br />

help us all!<br />

You see, the product we created was a part of us, a piece of our hearts!<br />

To give something of yourself, a part of you closer than words can describe - is<br />

-<br />

not easy! People should know more of what is really at stake. The emotional<br />

attachments that can never be severed, the memory that can' t :be erased and the<br />

love that can't be felt but only as pain and remorse,<br />

I understand the need for adoption, I only wish we could remove the bars<br />

that seperate consideration to birthparents. I can readily except that our child<br />

has her own set of parents but I can't except the terms handed down. Terms that<br />

place us apart by laws which can only be considered inhumane! Our product wasn't<br />

something that could be brought just anywhere, it's not something that you keep<br />

forever.<br />

We're all here on borrowed time, it eventually ends. When we leave this<br />

earth we don't take them with us. Why not open your hearts and understand, understand<br />

this product your involved with is not Just a concerned quotation. This product<br />

is as human as the lives that created it! There .are two other very important lives<br />

to consider, the mother and father.<br />

I only wish I could share this love inside - to release the emotions that have<br />

nested inside me for a long time. I feel Like 1'm serving a prison sentence.<br />

I can't go on -<br />

* I k M<br />

What lies behind us and what Lies before us are<br />

small matters compared to what lies within us.<br />

Ralph Waldo Emerson


"<br />

8 ' ' >, ' , ,.<br />

r I , A<br />

81<br />

,4<br />

Articles - The Baby Brokers by Barbara Lovenheim<br />

REDBOOK Oct 83 page 102<br />

Reunion Story of Hugh Hefner and Son by Gail Buchalter<br />

PEOPLE December 5, 83 page 44<br />

REUNIONS SINCE THE OCTOBER NEWSLETTER:<br />

4 ' t<br />

Michael Dunn joined us last February. He was born in Phoenix and was very<br />

fortunate to have much information. He has located his mother, made contact<br />

by phone and was given a warm response. He has since received a letter. They<br />

both feel good about the contact but want to go slowly. They will meet in the<br />

near future.<br />

Alberta Wales lives in the Los Angeles area but relinquished two children<br />

through Family Services in Phoenix. She located them in southern California.<br />

Alberta decided to write and send photos rather than calling and she has not<br />

had a response yet, We hope to hear something soon1<br />

Pam Kemper lives in Topeka, Kansas but relinquished a daughter through Family<br />

Services in Phoenix. She has been searching for ages and was given much<br />

assistance and support by Colleen Campbell. Pam's daughter has been found in<br />

Phoenix, positive contact was made and we hope to meet Sara at our December<br />

meeting. Sara, her husband and new baby flew to Kansas for a reunion, that<br />

included the birthfather who flew in from San Francisco.<br />

Colleen Campbell has located her daughter in Minnesota and made contact with<br />

the adoptive mother. Contact with the daughter will be made later, the door<br />

has not been closed. Colleen was encouraged that her agency did forward to<br />

the adoptive family, a copy of Lorraine Kazmier's Open Letter to Adoptive Parents.<br />

. .<br />

Kathie Neal relinquished her daughter in Tucson and after years of searching<br />

has found Karen. She now lives in Kansas and a reunion is scheduled for<br />

the Christmas holidays. The response was everything Kathie had prayed for<br />

and we all hope the pictures arrive by the December meeting1<br />

Marylee MacDonald lives in Urbana, Xllinois but we had a chance to meet her<br />

when she flew in for the AAC Conference. She relinquished her son through<br />

Catholic Charities in Phoenix and has found him in Washington. He grew up<br />

in a family of 8 children, put himself through college, works for Arthur<br />

Anderson, is married and is flying to Urbana over Christmas to meet his mother1<br />

Carolyn Kersten lives in Taos, New Mexico and has found her large extended<br />

family all over the state of Arizona. Her birthmother lives in Las Vegas,<br />

Carolyn was raised with her sister but knew a large family of siblings<br />

were scattered. An ad in the Bisbee paper drew a response %noneof her<br />

siblings adopted mother. A reunion in Phoenix is planned soonll<br />

Faith Goff Just Joined us two months ago but has found her mother in<br />

Michigan. Phone contact has been made, much sharing went on, now Faith<br />

is waiting for a letter. Waiting is the hard part.<br />

Bill Ray has found his mother in Santa Aria, California, He was given<br />

assistance by an ISC person in Oklahoma and his mother was found shortly<br />

after he rec'v his original birth certificate. No details of the reunion.<br />

Another wonderful reunion has taken place. Judy Schmitz is not a member of<br />

our group, but learned about the AAC Conference through the publication<br />

OPEN ARMS. She attended, was referred to an ISC person in Wisconsin who<br />

located her daughter in St. Louis, A wonderful phone reunion will be<br />

followed by a meeting in St. Louis. We hope Judy will share at a future<br />

meeting.<br />

**<br />

Naomi Jeffries-Kline, a licensed Marriage, Family 6 Child Therapist, is<br />

conducting a study on the various aspects of adoption. If you are over ,/<br />

I<br />

18 and entered your adoptive family before 1 year of age, we would urge<br />

you to participate. Write to Naomi at 727 Mayfield Ave. Stanford, Ca 94305.<br />

/<br />

This affords you an excellent opportunity to share your adoption experience.<br />

More news next month.....happy holidays to you all...,see you on the 8th.<br />

Special welcomc to all of you who found us because of the Pat McMahon Showl<br />

377


-<br />

HOW current laws affect genealogy own past," the writer slates, "adoptecs<br />

and adoptees is the topic of en article in are forced into an 'originator' position -<br />

letter f- written by a concerned gene- the 'Adams and Eves' of a new genealogalogist<br />

and published in the August 1983 lcnl line. In at least one stete, adoptees<br />

issue of The Ohio Genealogical Society's are even rohibited by law from becom-<br />

Newsletter (P.O. pox ze25, Mansfieid inB adop 8 ng parenkl" The matters of<br />

OH ~m), In particular, the laws of ohlo single parent adoptions and the surro.<br />

are cited as they relate to this matter, Bate parent Process are elso briefly dis-<br />

'<br />

but il is polnted out that sealing of rec- cussed.<br />

ords is taking place in other states as<br />

well, leaving present generation adoptees,<br />

in particular, no recourse (even b<br />

court order) for obtaining original birt<br />

certificates ..<br />

and information.<br />

"Without the right to examine their<br />

A bill recently signed into law in Callfornia<br />

relates to adoption records. A<br />

newspaper summary of the bill states<br />

that it establishes a system to allow children<br />

born and put up for adoption, beginning<br />

in 1084, to try to track down thelr<br />

biological parents.<br />

Provisions of the new law are that at<br />

the time a child is put up for adoption,<br />

the natural parents will sign a statement<br />

indicating whether they ever want their<br />

names released to the child. If the par:<br />

ents agree, the adoptee can obtain the iw<br />

fotma~ion upon request at age 21.<br />

Present laws require. the adoptive<br />

child, biological parepta and adoptive<br />

rents to go,to the slate and sign a conbntisl<br />

reque8t before they can be introduced,<br />

a rocess that lawmaketi said<br />

resulted o 3 y in two reunions in two<br />

;Elderly mom is reunited<br />

;with .<br />

'<br />

. kids after 44 . years<br />

.<br />

Hsr nlnr chlldtrn - agn 3 In<br />

'"ldren were put<br />

16<br />

- r wed In an orphana t<br />

:into orphanage after brrrur a{; bar unable lo can for<br />

them and Ihrb lather had dlu<br />

laulo struck woman WI~. Onr nn army lrom I&';<br />

ltid I',," lnVrulkn.l<br />

ORLANIK), Fir. - An alllng<br />

.81. eat.old molher was reuni~rd<br />

:.ilk eight of htr children Friday in<br />

a arul m e n 4 ears alttr thr<br />

:laniilynat rrparatrdb;y trmpdy.<br />

: Lllit Gtn was greeltd by<br />

.smiling lant and huts lrom wna<br />

:and daughlrn ,he hadn't uenrinr#<br />

.IDS, rhrn aha sbpprd all a plant<br />

:at iha O~lando lnternatlonal Air.<br />

:porr.<br />

: rn 'pkr health. Crern uemtd<br />

;o*rrmmt by ihr tvenb.<br />

' "I'm M lraud." aha uid bran.<br />

:~q.~~t'a akauti~u~ ~utpriu."<br />

'<br />

Ethel Swain, 61, one 01 Grren'e<br />

Mbn rho mrdinatrd the<br />

nunlon uid her molhrr was '*w iil,<br />

she proLbly ahwldn't havr made<br />

the trip" horn bcr Lome In Rhodc<br />

bland.<br />

Family tin wefa uverrd In 1939<br />

when Crtm, dlwrcd md holding<br />

dan thrre job In aupprt her<br />

Ismily, wn wucL by I ur and<br />

mriwl injutrd !a aha rods I<br />

.blqck h ~ackaonnll., FI~.<br />

31<br />

bme (o rejoin her mother rho wn<br />

reculrrating in Rhodt lnhnd, and<br />

the olhet eighl rrre adopbd by<br />

(amilier arrw Flotidr.<br />

Txenty.srvrn yrars laltr, Rwaln<br />

txgan a uaah lor her hmlly. Over<br />

Lhr ran. ~ hc Iwnd thrrr brolhrn<br />

- {ommy Ramrey. 61. 01 LI~C<br />

City. Ft.. Charles Clark. M. 01<br />

AnnLlon. Ala.. and Wedr I)r.<br />

Clan r, who lited in ~iaml Ra..<br />

until\l, death latl year.<br />

In addition. two ai~ltra nttt<br />

found - Rulh &hlllecl, S6, 01<br />

Auhrry, Trses, and 1.Inda Can,<br />

brll. 41, rho was born afut 11;<br />

accidcnl and 1it.u nilh her molher<br />

in Rhodr 11land.<br />

Wllh help from r~ord~ a1 lht<br />

orphanage and olhct ltadt. a<br />

broUIrr Wood We~ler 413, SI<br />

Iwnd /a11 wek In &brln FII<br />

Two eisbrt - Faith L~Rwkr, 9.<br />

d Metrin Island. and Palticia<br />

Gala. 47,ol Tampa - rrrt lound<br />

Thurdey elur nrss aprr rrrounb<br />

01 he reunion pens.<br />

Swain uld family mtmbrn havr<br />

"no lead," on tfu only ftmaining<br />

mlulngal~br, Janet.<br />

MOTHEROOT<br />

Crealion oftsn<br />

needs two hearts<br />

om lo root<br />

and om b/lower<br />

One to sustuin<br />

in time qfdmth<br />

and holdfxit<br />

against winds qfpain<br />

the fragile bloom<br />

Ural tn the glory<br />

ojh hour<br />

a i m a heart<br />

umng, unseen<br />

-Marilou Awiakta<br />

ADIDINO APPALACHIA<br />

3<br />

+<br />

I<br />

I<br />

Women top 4<br />

--&<br />

adoption<br />

\<br />

inquiries<br />

Fewer than half the adopted<br />

people seeking a- to binh<br />

records inlend to traa their<br />

parents, accordin to fieurrr 4<br />

ublished yester d ay by ihe<br />

f;rillsh A~encies for Adoption<br />

and Fostering.<br />

The I982 statis(fcs, published 2<br />

in tlle agencies'<br />

journal. Ado lion an Bu-ly Fosterlng,<br />

show t R at, of the 1,864<br />

people who applied for amss to<br />

records, 1,487 wanted binh<br />

certificates, 1,191 wanted further<br />

information from court 0<br />

records and 726 intended to<br />

trace their parents.<br />

Under the Childmn Act,<br />

1975, everyone who applies for > 3<br />

information must fint see social 0<br />

workers.<br />

Of those who applied last<br />

year. 1,056 were women and the<br />

peak age was around 30.<br />

A encies believe that is when<br />

w o have ken adopted wish to 3<br />

a<br />

tell their children about their 6<br />

origins.<br />

F<br />

MI John Stmud, assistant<br />

director of Hertfordshire social<br />

services, yys in the journal that<br />

the ngcncles should give more d<br />

_2:<br />

help 10 put parents and p<br />

adoptees in touch with each<br />

other especially if parenu have<br />

a genct~cally transmitted disease.<br />

Adoption and Fostering vol 7,<br />

no Street, 2: London. (BAAF. SEI 11 IRQ; Southwark £2.75,<br />

including postage).<br />

YOUR RIGHTS TO YOUR<br />

MEDICAL RECORDS<br />

Suppose you want a copy of the reccord<br />

of your treatment in a hospital or<br />

doctor's office. You've never really thought about your righb<br />

to your medical records before. Cnn you get the recorde?<br />

In about half the stoh, the law gumantees your right to<br />

obtain a hoepita] recod when you wish it. Fewer states dow<br />

accetm to recorde of doctore who are in private practice. However,<br />

in all etatea, the law requb a hcepital or physician to<br />

mnd your medical mrds or a summary of thaa recolds to<br />

another physician or to a lawyer, if you authorize the release<br />

in writing.<br />

Theee facts come from the N m York City-bawd Center for<br />

Medical Commem, Inc., which offere these additional suggrretiona<br />

about your records and keeping youreelf informed<br />

nbout your medical cam:<br />

@Ask your dodor for a.copy of your recorde. Many phyeicians<br />

am more than .&lling to provide the mrde, regnrd-<br />

1, of the h in their Rtate:The American Medical<br />

Aesocintion, for example, urges doctors to comply with pntfonh'<br />

mqueete for their record@.<br />

Don't t6ke "No" for an nmer If you know that your stote<br />

provides acrres to your records. (Call your &ate attorney's of-<br />

&a for guidnnce.)<br />

I f you live in a etntc thnt does not gunrantee you a m to<br />

your &rda, enk mother phyaicinn if he or 8he will accept<br />

your records and turn them over to you. It's one way b<br />

J) circumvent the syatem.<br />

@Keep copies of your own X rays by nrrnnging to have<br />

duplicntee mode when the X rays ara perfotmed (you will<br />

#<br />

3<br />

* Your<br />

have to py an additional fee). 'l'hi~ ala helpa reduce expo<br />

the potential hatarde of dingnostic X rays (see<br />

HOW Much Exposure te Tm Much?" in t h hue).<br />

For mom infomuhon on a- to medical r~cordR,<br />

copy of the booklet 'Your Righb to Your Medical Recorde;<br />

order a<br />

&hb rn a Medical Patient" from the Center lor Md.<br />

(C! ad Conaumen. 237 Thompson St, New 'fork, IW 10012.<br />

hcioee $2.26 with your order.


Dear<br />

Abby<br />

Ablgall Van Buren<br />

Mother yearns to meet -<br />

child pd up for adoption<br />

r<br />

. DEAR ABBY: Nineteen earn ago, m parents forced<br />

me to give up a baby girl or adoption L use I wan 16<br />

and unmarried. I was very bitter at the time because I<br />

wanted to keep my child, but I realize my parents did<br />

what they thought was best for me.<br />

1 am now a happily married mother of three, but my<br />

nightly prayer is to meet my first-born child. I have no<br />

desire to surpriee her with a telephone call or an<br />

unexpected visit. I want to meet her only if she wants<br />

to meet me.<br />

1 heard that 'there is a national organization with<br />

whom prents and adopted children may register, and<br />

if all parties agroe ta meet, they may do no.<br />

1 am nnt a wealthy Demon, Abby, but 1 would gladly<br />

pby a fee. Thanks for any help you-can give me.<br />

My Nightly Prayer<br />

DEAR PRAYER: There is euch an orianhtion. It itx<br />

International Sounder Reunion Registry, P.O. Box<br />

2912, Carson City, Nev. 89702.<br />

I have checked the organization out and have found<br />

it to be a le itimate, nnn-profit corporation that<br />

provides .this c k axitable, humanitarian newice gratis.<br />

Contributions are welcome in order to keep the<br />

aperation going, but no fee is ckrged for services.<br />

For a regiatration form, write to the above address<br />

ind pl- enclone a long, stamped, eelf-addreaaed<br />

envelope. Good luck and Cod bleed.<br />

nr S~ndcllr. lw, .IO-LS<br />

"Charlie. - -<br />

Incredible ne,ws! ~etlred'nurne confesse~ shd<br />

. swltched babies ai birth as joke! Uncle 8111 Is rerlly<br />

Oscar Le Blong, who dled 1980 leaving wife<br />

mllllon dollars, house, 3 gas statlonsl If she<br />

hadn't switched, I'd be on Easy Street1 Some joke,<br />

huh?<br />

Aunt Eva"<br />

I<br />

Emma Vilardi told us that she<br />

received over 5,000 pieces of<br />

mail the first week after this<br />

column appeared, Finally<br />

Emma is receiving some of<br />

the recognition she deserves1<br />

Why not drop a thank you note<br />

to "Dear Abby" I<br />

Ah'OTIIEII RE,\I)EIl wrote to bring my attention to EMMA<br />

\'IL:\RI)I, u Carson City resident who founded the INTERNATIONAL<br />

SOtlSDEX ItEl'YIOS ItI.;tiISTHY in 1975. As you might recall, this<br />

Registry is lor adoplees who aresearching for their real parenls. Or,<br />

for parents who are searching for children that they many years<br />

earlier had put up for adoption.<br />

There arc some 1.1.000 registrants in the lSRR at present and all<br />

registered free of charge. The organization depends entirely upon<br />

donations to pay its expenses and Mrs. Vilardi draws no salary of any<br />

kind.<br />

Local resident GEORGE ANTHONY, In bringing Mrs. Vilardi's<br />

good work lo my atlention, said that, "Her's is a truly humanilarian<br />

cause that hrlp!: our country's adoptees and all of those others touched<br />

by adoption." '<br />

As an example 01 its sUccess, over a two year period from the fall<br />

of 1980 through 1982.7,922 peoplereglstered in the ISRR and a total of<br />

172 "matches" occurred.<br />

Anthony, a retired iournalist. serves as a trustee for ISRR and Is<br />

its Public ~iforrnation brricer. HC recently wrote a piece about Emma<br />

Vilardi's work to aid adoptees that was published in thesummer issue<br />

of OPEN AR~IS QCARTERI.~, publistid in NORTI! PLA~E,<br />

NEB.<br />

So, the word is certainly spreading about Emma and the work she has<br />

done for adoptecs and their parenls. We're happy she calls Carson City<br />

her home.<br />

I<br />

Il..Y<br />

"Which parent do you want to sign It:<br />

my natural father, my atep father, my<br />

mother's third husband, my real<br />

mother or m y natural father's fourth<br />

wife who lives with us?"


J<br />

3<br />

Many 'achievers' cheat<br />

in school, poll reveals<br />

Auurittlcd I'rw<br />

LAKE FOREST, Ill. - Nearly a<br />

third of 2,000 teen-age hih achievera<br />

admitted in a survey that they<br />

chat in schwl, end a majority mid<br />

parents, teachem and religim leadem<br />

ahould share the mpnnnibility<br />

for tcaching children not to.<br />

Yet, although 32 percent mid<br />

they cheated, almost as many, 28<br />

percent, said they hnd never done<br />

9 no. Thirty-eight percent said they<br />

d<br />

hod cheated in the past but did not<br />

make a practice of it now.<br />

The 14th annunl survey of the<br />

4 ~tudent leader8 listed in the new<br />

c edition of Who's Who Among<br />

.8 Americ:?n H2h Schml Students<br />

was conducted last summer hy tho<br />

Q hnnk's puhlisher, Educational Communicat.ions<br />

lnc.; of Lake Forest<br />

Three-fourtha of the ree ndenta<br />

replrtd that they never Ew had<br />

sexual internurse. Fifty percent of<br />

thm who mid they have had MI<br />

mid they did not une birth mntrol<br />

every time, with 26 percent taking<br />

no precautiom at al.<br />

Half of the girls surveyed mid<br />

they would want to get married if<br />

~ y t .<br />

they became 33 pant<br />

mid they w dn t take the plunge<br />

because tbey are too young, 33 percent<br />

mid they woukl have the baby<br />

and raiee it alone if<br />

Twenty-five percent 8 m y<br />

would have an abortion.<br />

Do// con tinues<br />

to create fuss<br />

Assoclated Press Meerfleld, manager of<br />

An Industry spokesman Toys by ROY In Albuquerclalmed<br />

no toy ever que,N.M.<br />

this much Since the start of the<br />

chaos," as officials re- Christmas shopplng seaported<br />

at least 10 lnluries son Frlday, thousands of<br />

and two arrests natton- people have clawed thelr<br />

wlde in the clamor for the way through packed de.<br />

homely but lovable rag partment stores in quest<br />

dolls known as the "Cab- of the dolls, the brain.<br />

The results were released Mondav.<br />

~btige Patch Klds." chlldren of arttst Xavler<br />

Scventy-three percent of ihe A financial analyst said Roberts. Untll thls year<br />

students, askd a wide variety of.<br />

the boom In the dolls is they were available only<br />

questions, snid that teen-agera are<br />

providing a happy Yule- In Ilmlted, hand-made<br />

~ t as . bad as ndults think they are<br />

tide bundle for their man. verslons costlng $125 and<br />

and thnt adulb trnd tn pay more<br />

ufactuier, Coleco Indus- up. The doll, whlch came<br />

nttentitw tn t.he tn)uhlemakem. trles Inc. on the market this spring,<br />

'W criminsl intent,' A t ttonw R ,lbllu<br />

p@secutor believes<br />

3%~<br />

couple who kept child in 'cage'<br />

for month may escape charges<br />

lrWM<br />

aHah uail d lhe aatnl pdlm U* krmenL<br />

CJAYTON, MO. - ~ i w SL yaw uid ~u awt wit &I& *on dv~ia<br />

Lqir Gnmly proecuhc &did whether b nlurn Ahno La Lh &l. n hid hL uxa lo Uu<br />

W M ~ Y ~JI c h i ~ . a ~<br />

w h yrM a mupla who krpl oud. m arly r Vriday.)auld. b U* banal whkh<br />

LhJldopcrdla.~~14d*umn. m~pk~a~~lwcbn. ~(behndmSa&-.-<br />

sells for between $18 and<br />

8.3<br />

to<br />

Although<br />

shlp 2.5 mllllon<br />

Coleco<br />

of<br />

plans<br />

the<br />

dolls by the end of the<br />

d an<br />

~pdoptlon.~<br />

Huuo= &&Ion mJd b rrc d Lh bar. b pmv(dirl 8<br />

The excitement 1s over<br />

hair and butstretched<br />

IbeboerbMyandLknn(M*4 nab ud rr opm a Lh<br />

that come with<br />

n m umtrd and birth certlflcates, dlspo~a.<br />

,I@, .n ble diapers and detalled<br />

a hnhly deprlnd ducl~rm. Irm. wn)mou mlkr drud iht<br />

rhrlrrmm*(h.mbow DivibadPltlilyBs~dlhr<br />

flngers and toes. Computmn-mL<br />

ers deslgn the dolls' feam&our~rdandm~rh~,a%<br />

OfkUdAhrokJd~nik tUres, glvlng each a<br />

fin(db=bl~dhdlcd*d- dnn,.Lad@d.nnhhlmm. h rid .Ib firoom hd<br />

"q" In Or bmnt d lJICb<br />

W OTTwWs uld. @Id@.<br />

Tht fid hp~lo. rr nb *Wa(rkdlor20mon(h,lnmr).<br />

lu411."<br />

lln Mwm<br />

prormbr Ceom"Bun* nay rr cauld. b help wr chlld, In nkrd hldq b~ offlcan who<br />

W&II UI~. WUI .hat frrrm rr ,,,,b.hv&u. U. h1<br />

b r MIY dlwUa rr ~ 1 1 ~<br />

amW pm jdpnn~<br />

Qirh hrrnoalor,"b UI brhdingahir~d~<br />

&%~~nt~ifthrnnn.<br />

thm rr mniminrl inbnL" ~ I mill W at how a(L. dlitn uut hb pnnh bd ma.<br />

h n f U. Mu-. n, a Bt rtmh la Cdombla, Rwlh A m h find Urn la n mmIb 11 Or aab.<br />

I+ rum, ?id WW~ ~nuypl.a*~,"Mm~. II* cu whn b. .r alkral<br />

$25.<br />

;;;,;:o,lie:;yu;e;E<br />

demand.<br />

16-111ch do118 with yarn ' C.O.B.<br />

appearance,<br />

"TO THE ~hlld, it's llke<br />

(M:lc and bir wile. M a w & A py)al bl mrmn*a (b. no bm4 ndb. 10511 a little person," said Brad<br />

w:mly alIanpUrq lo cami h*Mt. a?ing la "~tuddlh malw(rorblk<br />

u* ddiviplLYry pm&m d d privllqr and 6s dlhdd d Tb bq bd k n alkral La ;<br />

A M Richard, whom Lhay Unr pddkgm in nlurn fnvhtl *m the I lo albnd elus at<br />

.~ff *I h n 1- pn c dl d u *.m* mo~r+cma~ ~uld"funiu ~igh BIM IW<br />

boy nllvlnd In lmw un family bluvlm," M u d d . U* Ilnl Lhnr rab d hit hprb<br />

W&wday, reordin# b Rfi Guy Ha uU prt 01 lhr (rulmrnl onmeal. pdim LL Richrrd O%n.<br />

Yoi~y, wpelVbor 01 the juwnlk. . ulbd la Ula boy b be rmlinsll b notukl.<br />

Report on 'forgotten' children shakes British<br />

LONDON (UPI) - Thm vr<br />

qulUd)<br />

"WI in lrad with I ma<br />

me IM,Kxl "lo oth" childn.<br />

wrn lim, pdim uuh~<br />

Lh. Imm prnblrm. Rcd lkhu an bhily of<br />

staie.wn m 7mtar ~ ~ mb<br />

m<br />

and Wala - avny bon<br />

Tewypandy. wpaak~r Caorg~<br />

wr people," h uld. "Wh11 batI" d<br />

*About 1M.W suKend b a<br />

wl d wrdlork, m a abndarS<br />

~dUinHmancdCapm~<br />

lemmmr ~ ir chn if Uur yar .<br />

ddlvom: ~. 39.W wn undrr .re h . mkn don't . art<br />

wObrrmdeaUhprlhL<br />

.. bvllu . - an La m%<br />

~<br />

nlhrn viclima 01 may dlvorca pr,lLLddlwnIul~nrwr+L.<br />

.~~,b,, 29W &;, La them whol~~umantrin~s?"<br />

The tradilland i v d B h t '<br />

uro.rpildhorIL)ruIWI:<br />

-<br />

81 a uring naUon w r dppd apr(<br />

Wrdda in a repor( by th *8au 14mo chUdnn wn put<br />

National &ilfinn', H-. a du, bbnrbaud l d ~ m<br />

Un oftanivUnn lhsl am<br />

-<br />

b tnr- a d mdY0.600 t .<br />

mdn thin 7,Wchildni<br />

"Ws R~itith mruldn orrlvr b dnl: IL nun<br />

b a ratin pla who bn JIM- ~~loudI7laabb.<br />

dnn," LmJ Epdi,bld a ~5h(rfk#4Mblm,@ ~~~,,,,d~ ~ ~ i ~ i I ,. ,- lad to imrkber when a<br />

mnlrrrnu mar I 10 qpnb *Ah04 llOmO childne wen<br />

pmbl,m pn, aiticlan hymw rtat in~lilu.<br />

lavd pilly d aipa lM,W ren aril.<br />

Uon 01. ur~ng family fila."<br />

nrnt a, new N C I I ~ X . ~ ~ ~ ~<br />

- - - -- - -<br />

tlt llw Adwu RrpuU* Wrdmry. Novtmbrr b. IBU<br />

Surrogate's suffering<br />

Mother feels guilty over keeping son she had for childless couple<br />

IU*d hr 1nMkrl<br />

Orr, rmpk In tarhanv b shoul 'fiomtllmn I &ink my Gal bby. but I'm tUll auNuriry I 1111 She rrsn hndd Uu 7.pntnd.<br />

CI.FVR1.AND - IlO.C43I bul dnidrd rim chr Lvby mupk,' mh uid. 'Whl rilly hl h briw by nlo my I2.auno child a r La them in I<br />

W e r who isre blrth k ,'"a:".<br />

wts ban hw munth ago b Lnp<br />

Th unidrnUlird rmplt's L.y.r<br />

?ztnlhrm. IIn(hrrihlr1or ...-. II.~<br />

U(dlm muplr hul lsbr dwidrd La<br />

Ih Inhnl hrnrlf uy, her<br />

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