Valerie Bertinelli Says She Still Questions How She 'Tolerated the Intolerable' But Has Many Days of 'Pure Peace'

Valerie Bertinelli is grateful for the good days.

The actress, 63, who finalized her divorce from Tom Vitale in November 2022, posted an update on her "healing journey" on Tuesday.

"I think in the midst of a healing journey, we forget to pat ourselves on the back and really look back at how far we’ve come. I know I have been guilty of that," she said.

Bertinelli went on to explain how the "little tiny voices" inside her head can sometimes win out — but it's rare. Those voices make her question, "How in the world I tolerated the intolerable, and what was I thinking?, and I’m so stupid I should’ve known better, and I’m an idiot how could I have been so fooled, and why did I protect them for so long?, and I should have left earlier," she gave as examples.

"Gratefully, those days are WAY fewer and far between. Almost nonexistent," she added. "I can really, truly give myself compassion because I know I was doing my best to love, to be generous, to be compassionate, and have patience, even though I was never given the same respect."

Her inspirational post was accompanied by a video of a TikTok filter with a fill in the blank: "I will end 2023 with _" and Bertinelli's answer was "with no regrets."

"There are now many more days where just the pure peace and joy of existing are here and for once in my life, I know I deserve it," she said as she danced in the video to Taylor Swift's "Cruel Summer."

Bertinelli has been candid with fans about her difficult journey navigating past trauma. "I have been screamed at so many times and told how fat and lazy I am," she recalled in January.

She said she has found help through "journaling, therapy and especially humor."

Bertinelli also just completed "Dry July" and she marked the accomplishment with an Instagram post on Sunday in which she shared some of the health perks she's experienced as a result. Alongside a selfie of herself, the Food Network star first reflected on having gratitude.

"It’s not having what you want, it’s wanting what you’ve got. 🧡 Summer may not be my favorite season, but Sheryl Crow’s wise words can apply to absolutely everything in life," she wrote.

"So I’m crackin’ open a bevy, nonalcoholic ofc, and enjoying what is. Happy Sunday & happy day 30," she continued, adding the hashtag #dryjuly.

The comments section of the post was filled with fans sharing their own experiences with cutting out alcohol, as well as lots of questions for Bertinelli about her break from alcohol. One follower wrote, "Can I ask, what advantages have you seen to cutting out alcohol? I've thought about it, at least giving it a try for 30 days."

Bertinelli replied, "Better sleep for the most part, weight loss, less brain fog, more energy."

The Hot in Cleveland star first experimented with abstaining from alcohol earlier this year, jumping on the dry January bandwagon after the holiday season. On Jan. 5, she posted a video on her Instagram Story, explaining why she had chosen to take a break from imbibing.

"I have decided to go dry January. I like it so far," she said. "I'm doing it for two reasons. One, I want to try and cut down the cravings for my sugar. And I think alcohol exacerbates that."

Her second reason related to her stress levels — at the time, Bertinelli was newly divorced from Vitale. "I want to calm down the cortisol in my body that has been raging for the last five, six years. I've been in fight, flight, freeze, fawn mode. And I want to go into rest and digest," she explained. "I think cutting alcohol will help me do that."

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After she ended the month without alcohol, Bertinelli gave her followers an update, revealing one surprising "side effect" she experienced during the challenge.

"So, here's a nice little side effect of Dry January. These jeans that I'm wearing were so tight a few months ago that I couldn't comfortably button them. Now, they're so loose it's time for me to go down a size," she said in a TikTok video. "Yeah, I like that side effect."

Under the video, one follower commented that they'd also been feeling a lot healthier after doing not only Dry January but Dry October as well.

"Oooh, sober October. I like it," Bertinelli responded. "I may also do dry July. 💃🏼💃🏼💃🏼"

And sure enough, she did — and it seems she's inspiring other people along her journey. "I just wanted to say you have motivated me to take my life back," one person commented on her Dry July post. "I know I’m just a person you don’t know but I’m making August my month of no sugar, no processed, no alcohol and more “me” time. Time to take control. Thank you for being raw & real."