Amber Rose is much more than how the world decides to know her—the 34-year-old model turned women’s rights activist has become a leading voice in the fight for gender equality since launching her first Amber Rose SlutWalk march four years ago.
Rose, who coparents her 5-year-old son Sebastian with rapper Wiz Khalifa, first stumbled across the original Toronto SlutWalk in 2014. (It was initially founded in 2011 after a police officer told women to stop dressing like sluts if they wanted to avoid sexual assault.) "A lot of things pertaining to SlutWalk happened to me," Rose explains to BAZAAR.com. "I didn’t know how to articulate what was going on and why I was feeling this way. It was because I was sexually assaulted, I had been raped, and I was slut-shamed. I was victim-blamed, as well."
The Amber Rose SlutWalk, which returns on October 6 in Los Angeles with a headlining performance from Foxy Brown and a women’s conference about sex positivity, aims to take power away from derogatory labels, to end rape culture, victim blaming, and body shaming. No small feat. To all the men reading, or watching on October 6, Rose has one thing to say: "It doesn’t matter what we have on, it's still not an excuse to come and touch me inappropriately or assume I want to f*ck you—because I don’t."
As she gears up for the SlutWalk, MUVA spoke to BAZAAR.com from her home in the hills to chat about clapping back at Instagram haters, teaching her son about consent and putting an end to slut shaming.
BAZAAR.com: Why is SlutWalk more important than ever, especially in light of the conversation surrounding Brett Kavanauagh and Dr. Christine Blasey Ford right now?
Amber Rose: Well, we’re not taking any shit anymore. We’re speaking up and we’re not scared just because these men are in higher positions or they have more money or they intimidate us. We have a voice and we all realize now that’s why SlutWalk is so important—to bring an awareness of actually what’s happening in this world. It’s the equality issues that we deal with, but also the fact that, we can band together as women and stand up for each other and realize that we do have a voice that can make a change.
It’s been four years since you started SlutWalk, what do you think are the biggest achievements?
A lot of men are learning exactly what consent is. My SlutWalk is really inclusive, so we don’t leave anyone out. The LGBTQ community, non-binary, transgender, women, men, all walks of life, it doesn’t matter where you come from. We’re just spreading awareness and I think that whether being sexually assaulted or slut shamed, women in general, we’re just not taking it anymore.
Do you remember the first time your voice made an impact on the public stage?
You know, I’m me so I’m going to be my own worst critic. I would say I still struggle with that. I feel like I shout from the rooftops and a lot of people don’t want to listen. But I also feel like I make a change every single year. That’s the most important thing. Whether it be a small change or big change, I’m definitely making a change.
What will it take for us to actually live in a society in which there is no need for a word like "slut"? Are we any closer to ending slut shaming?
Do I ever think it's going to be abolished? Hopefully! I can only wish, pray and hope for that. I hope when my son becomes older, he can look back and say: “Wow, they were allowed to say that thing about women in music? That’s crazy,” or “Mom, gay people couldn’t get married when you were young? That’s insane.” I can hope for a world like that when my son gets older. But I feel like we’re moving forward in the right direction right now. For sure.
You help empower women, did it start with the sisterhood of being a stripper? Or were you always close with your female friends?
I feel like… how can I explain this? A lot of things pertaining to SlutWalk happened to me. I didn’t know how to articulate what was going on and why I was feeling this way. It was because I was sexually assaulted, I had been raped, and I was slut-shamed. I was victim blamed, as well. I didn’t really have words to those things that were happening to me until I started looking online and seeing things and realizing I wasn't alone, and that I now have a platform where I can help other women who are recovering and healing.
SlutWalk has been criticized by some people as "the pornification of protest". What do you say to those people?
It’ll be taboo for some people but at the end of the day, that’s exactly what we’re protesting against. It doesn’t matter what we have on, it's still not an excuse to come and touch me inappropriately or assume I want to f*ck you because I don’t. Unless I say “yes, I want to have sex with you,” then I don’t want to have sex with you. My whole thing is everyone needs to mind their business and let women choose to do what they want with their bodies.
If I want to show my ass on Instagram, I’m allowed to do that because it's my ass and it's my Instagram. So yes, there will be trolls. But a lot of girls get the shitty end of the stick when guys post themselves oiled up with their shirts off constantly and everyone’s like “Wow, he looks amazing,” but if I take my shirt off, I’m a hoe.
Do you even read the comments?
I see them, I definitely see them. But they don’t affect me in any way.
That must take some resilience.
It definitely is not easy to not give a shit. I reached that point four years ago when I started SlutWalk and I thought “I really don’t give a f*ck and this is awesome.” It takes a long time to get there, though. You have to be fully, fully confident in who you are and it took me awhile. I finally got there and it feels great.
Are there certain things you tell yourself to stay strong in weak moments? What is it?
I would say that if anyone can say anything negative about SlutWalk, they’re just ignorant and they haven’t done their research. If anyone says anything about sexy pictures that I post, I can take it as, they’re mad at me for my confidence and that’s really none of my business. I can’t help how they feel. I grew up very poor, I didn’t grow up rich, I never knew famous people. But I also remember being the slut-shamer and looking at famous people on TV and judging them. So, now that I’m in that position, I’m like “yo, I was that girl who talks shit about celebrities,” so when I see a comment, I can’t get mad because I was that person. I was not in the celebrity’s shoes at that time.
Did it reflect your own issues?
Well, yeah. I just kind of looked back and thought, I’m not going to sit here and curse somebody out because they really don’t know any better. That’s how I got to a point where I literally stopped giving a shit because, like, comments? That doesn’t affect my life.
But you still clap back at comments from people who judge you for having "too many men".
For sure. I have only been with four guys! Or 12 or 17… I just think it’s funny because nobody knows my sexual history. You can assume that if I’m out with a guy or if I’m in a picture with a guy that we’ve had sex? That’s cool, but you don’t know. You just assume. And for you to assume, you just slut-shamed me on top of assumption, which has no merit. I don’t even care. I literally laugh it off, I swear to God. All the time.
You’ve said you’re teaching your son about consent, to not kiss girls on the lips without asking them first. How is that coming along?
He gets it. He’s five years old. We kiss him and love him all day. When it comes to his girlfriends at school, he was just going up and kissing them on the lips and I said “Honey, you forgot to ask! Just ask! That’s all. If they say yes, you can kiss them! That’s cool, I’m not mad at you.” But it starts early.
What advice do you have for women who want to be entrepreneurs or want to run their own business?
First and foremost, don’t be scared to be exactly who you are. When you’re confident in yourself, and I say that in every aspect—regardless of your sexual history or what’s your into, or your body type or your hair, whatever your style is—once you become fully comfortable with yourself, you’ll be able to be a better entrepreneur because you’ll allow yourself to get into things you didn’t allow yourself to get into before. I didn’t ever think I’d have my own sex toy line. I never thought about that.
You probably never thought you’d lead a SlutWalk, either?
That’s what I mean. I just got to a point where people were saying: “She’s sex, she’s a slut, she’s a ho, she’s this, she’s that…” and I thought, okay, well I’m going to piss you off even more and come out with a sex toy line. There you go people, you can have that. You get to a point where you literally can’t give a shit and live your best life.
Who is your biggest inspiration?
My mom. She came to last year’s SlutWalk and held up a “Black Lives Matter” sign. My mom supports me, she taught me to be creative, to be an individual. She supported me in any and every breakup with every boyfriend and girlfriend I had. Through anything I wanted to do, she always supported me. She’s an amazing grandmother, too. I feel like my son loves her more than he loves me. She’s that amazing.
