Joe Stalin is alive and well and working for the Tories as a spin doctor.
The Soviet dictator specialised in rubbing out his rivals in propaganda photographs.
MYSTERY: Members of the Bullingdon pose with Osbourne cirlced left, and Rothschild, right, but who is missing from line-up?
Nikolai Yezhov, chief of the Soviet secret police, is the best example. In the photo on the left, he can be seen walking with Stalin. But in the modified photo below, it is as if he never existed.
Stalinesque doctoring seems to have also occurred in the famous pic of the Bullingdon toffs' club at Oxford University that shows George Osborne posturing with his scandal-mate Nat Rothschild.
This collection of arrogant bastards smirking at the camera has been modified by computer to move the Bulli boys round into different places. Why? Who's missing? What's the motive for concealing the real picture?
If you think these are idle questions, think again. A similar photo of the notorious Oxford drinking club that shows David Cameron preening himself with Boris Johnson has been withdrawn from circulation.
The Mirror once used that picture, but we can't do so again - because publication is banned.
The image of the Tory leader flaunting his idle, boozy image with Boris has been censored. Even as undergraduates, Cameron and Osborne thought they were born to rule. But they now fear voters will be turned off by their antics at university.
So they do what the rich and powerful have always done: suppress the truth.
How long, I wonder, before the tampered picture of Osborne and Rothschild joins the exposure of Cameron and Johnson in the closet of a lawyer's safe?
Publish and be damned, say I.
When people see these images of Cameron, Osborne and co, they will know them for what they are. And they will understand why the Tories are desperate to censor pictures of their past.
Uncle Joe didn't just rub 'em out on film - he rubbed them out completely. That's a job for voters, not political gangsters.