Bill Oddie: 'Our first TV blew me away'

What's your favourite piece of technology and how has it improved your life?
The technology that blew me away, when I was about 10, was our first television. It changed my life completely, because it's what I ended up doing. And the first stereo was also a key thing; I remember getting someone to put together my first stereo hi-fi. The other thing to which I'm utterly indebted would be binoculars – binoculars have been getting better and better. The best are Swarovski 10x42 and they are just staggering – you'd think they couldn't improve them, but they keep doing it.

When was the last time you used your binoculars and what for?
Today – I'll be going for a walk on Hampstead Heath, and I'll be taking my binoculars with me.

What features would you add?
Better straps – and that's not a joke. The technology is fantastic, but the whole process of attaching the strap to the binoculars is a palaver.

Will it be obsolete in 10 years?
No, I don't think there will be anything that will completely replace them.

What always frustrates you about technology in general?
Without any question, instruction booklets. I cannot believe how abstruse, awfully written and unintelligible they are. They drive me up the wall, and I think they do with most people.

Is there any particular piece of technology that you have owned and hated?
I don't own one, but satnavs, definitely, I think they are so many downsides to them. I've driven a lot and a little bit of preparation has never been a problem. The only time I've ever found them useful is in a foreign country, but otherwise I hate them.

If you had one tip about getting the best out of new technology, what would it be?
The key moment is before you get it. It's very hard to anticipate, and there are a lot of people addicted to getting new toys, but if you have a truth session with yourself, you have to ask: would I really use it? Obviously, Mac people are particularly prone to this – they've just got to have it, which is only a whisker away from drug addiction, really.

Do you consider yourself to be a luddite or a nerd?
Luddite – I don't even need to get to nerd. Too much so: it's not that I'm proud of it. A lot of luddite attitude is borne of fear, really.

What's the most expensive piece of technology you've ever owned?
It would probably be binoculars or telescope – probably a telescope. The prices of telescopes and binoculars has skyrocketed in the past few years.

Mac or PC, and why?
Mac, because that's all there is is in the house. And because I inherited one of my daughter's rejects – which had a great disadvantage, because it was still full of all her stuff.

Robot butlers – a good idea or not?
That's a horrible idea, I really don't want that. Some of one's pleasantest relationships are formed when someone is bringing something to you. I'd much rather have a human being – it's part of the great fantasy of life, really – you have people who care about you, not a bloody machine.

What piece of technology would you most like to own?
All I can say is that I wish there were some things that were easier to do. I think at the moment I would most like to be able to edit video really easily. Probably I just need to throw myself into something like Final Cut Pro. So what I really need is a sympathetic tutor to teach me what I want to do. And that's the greatest piece of technology of all – a patient human being, someone who will comfort me when I get lost and start crying. So I think want one of them.