Glenn Close looked visibly shocked Sunday evening when her name was called as a Golden Globes winner, and for good reason. Though she has long been considered one of the greatest living actresses, the star of The Wife had, inconceivably, never claimed a major film award during her nearly 40 years performing onscreen. Sure, she has been nominated for six Oscars—making her the most-nominated actress without a win in Academy Awards history. (She is tied with Deborah Kerr and Thelma Ritter for this dubious record.) But her stockpile of trophies—three Golden Globes, three Emmys, and three Tonys—had all been awarded for television or stage performances.

Given the unevenness of her batting average, Close told Vanity Fair that, going into award ceremonies, “I keep myself to zero expectations just for my own mental health.”

Speaking on Tuesday, a still-emotional Close made it clear that her Golden Globe victory was not just meaningful as professional validation. She felt that earning a trophy for playing this particular character, The Wife’s Joan Castleman—a woman wrestling with her decision to forfeit her career for her husband—was emblematic of a greater cultural change.

“The thing that was so moving to me, was the feeling in that room on Sunday night,” Close said, before pausing to collect herself. “I haven’t quite gotten into a place where it doesn’t actually make me cry.”

Looking into the audience, Close said, “The faces of the women, and the men as well. . .I got such a great sense of hope about the cultural change. And we have a hell of a long way to go, but I felt it in that room. I think Hollywood has been mocked for being so self-celebratory. . . sometimes we can live in a bubble and think that we’re the greatest when the world looks at us in a very different way.” But on Sunday, Close saw the diversity in the room, and felt “the intent to make great work that has validity. I felt that very much—that people were thinking beyond their dress, beyond the red carpet, into the kind of potential impact we can have on the world with important stories.”

Close’s longtime collaborator, screenwriter Jane Anderson, felt that Meg Wolitzer’s 2004 novel The Wife was so important—and Joan Castleman’s journey so universally profound—that she spent 14 years trying to convince studios Joan was worth being spotlighted onscreen. (Close spent about five years attached to the project.) Here was a woman who, like so many before her, silently pushed aside her personal dreams in order to support her family and fill the role society had carved out for her, however unfulfilling. Onstage Sunday, as other winners rattled off lists of publicists and agents, Close movingly dedicated the award to her mother.

“I’m thinking of my mom, who really sublimated herself to my father her whole life,” Close said, tearing up. “And in her 80s, she said to me, ‘I feel I haven’t accomplished anything.’ And it was so not right, and I feel what I’ve learned through this whole experience is women, we’re nurturers—that’s what’s expected of us. We have our children, our husbands . . . but we have to find personal fulfillment. We have to follow our dreams. We have to say, ‘I can do that. And I should be allowed to do that.’”

On Tuesday, Close grew emotional again thinking of another beloved relative who sacrificed her professional dreams—her grandmother. It wasn’t until after she died in 1984 that Close even heard that her grandmother Moore had greater ambitions. By that time, Close had already claimed her first Oscar nomination for The World According to Garp, and was about to earn a second for that year’s The Big Chill. Close was sitting with her grandmother’s lifelong friend, Helen Lynch, drinking tea and reminiscing about “Memi.”

“Do you know what your grandmother’s greatest wish was?” Lynch asked Close.

“See, this makes me cry even now,” Close said, choking up at the memory. “But I said, ‘No, what?’ I knew she had been a fascinating women. But her friend said, ‘She wanted to be an actress.’”

Said Close, “She should have been an actress. She would have been probably a great actress. She had it in her bones, in her genes. Thinking back, you can see that . . .So I come from generations of unfulfilled women.” The actress had also just come across a quote from Carl Jung that she found eerily applicable: “Nothing has a stronger influence psychologically on their environment and especially on their children than the unlived life of the parent.”

Asked what her mother would think of Close’s tribute, through both her performance in The Wife and her Globes acceptance speech, the actress replied, “She would have been thrilled. But it’s a very complex issue because, as difficult as it was for her to live with my father, she never would contemplate life without him. She had a great sense of sticking to her vows, and I think that’s the generation that she grew up in. In an ideal world, how wonderful for all of us to stick to our vows.”

“I’m not particularly proud of the fact that I’ve been married three times,” Close continued, “but that’s just the way life is. And I think you have to keep your creative soul alive, whatever that takes.”

Aside from finding inspiration in her late mother, Close also had the opportunity to work with her own daughter Annie Starke in *The Wife, who co-stars as a younger version of Joan. Before filming, Close said that she, Annie, screenwriter Jane Anderson, and director Björn Runge sat around a table, sharing stories about the women they knew and loved who led unfulfilled lives—including Annie’s paternal grandmother, a chemist in the 40s who was fired after getting pregnant.

“Those women were very much at the forefront of our crafting Joan Castleman,” explained Close.

On Sunday, at the Globes, Close and Annie had the chance to celebrate the poignant end of that pattern in their family.

“There is the most wonderful series of photos of us just clinging to each other, and she just said, ‘Mom, I’m so proud of you. I’m so proud of you. I’m so proud of you. And I love you.’ So it was about love and pride.”

As for what that an Oscar would mean, pending a seventh nomination, at the end of this journey? Close replied,“Oh boy, it would mean a lot. Because, again, in some ways it goes far beyond just me and the award.”